Statistics Jokes

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

Statistics say that 1/3 of people cheat in their relationships Which got me thinking,
Is it my wife or is it my girlfriend who is cheating?

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!


Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

Facts of life At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he’d be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

People are always saying Americans are fat, violent, and above all else, stupid But every time I see one of those statistics maps about how terrible we are, there's this little country on the northwest border of Canada that's just as bad as we are.

Statistics say that 60% of women take medication for mental illness, Which means 40% aren't taking their medication.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, and I'll even do statistics But graphing is where I draw the line!

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating..... I just need to figure out if it's my wife or girlfriend

Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman... ... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital.

Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan? because of the tally-ban

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trigonometry, I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

When are minorities not minorities? When you look at crime statistics.

I've spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk. They're just staggering.

Frightening Statistic This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!











Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

It's my birthday, so here's a related joke. Why are birthdays good for you?

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Statistics show: those who have the most, live the longest.

Statistics humour The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."

According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers. I think it’s because of pier pressure.

The World Health Organization has stated that eating bacon increases your chances of getting cancer. Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.

Statistics say the in relationships, 1 out of every 3 people is unfaithful Now I just need to figure out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend

Breaking news: statistics shows that female drivers are turning into good drivers So for the good drivers out there, watch out for female drivers

Next time somebody tries to argue using statistics.... Remind them that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What happened to the guy who had a fetish for population statistics? He finally came to his census.

NEW study shows that Birthdays are good for your health Statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest!

Statistics show that six out of seven dwarfs... ...aren't happy.

Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester... Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds.

How can you live forever? Live for at least 100 years. Statistics show that very few people die over the age of 100.

Statistics says 1 in 3 people have an affair Now i just need to figure out whether it is my wife or my girlfriend..

Apparently statistics show only "5% o peple" have cracked their phone screens Edit: After reading the same article on my computer, it appears "50% of people" have cracked their phone screens.

I looked up car crash statistics online The results were very impacting

Statistics and mini skirts.. ...they hide more than what they reveal.

Can you believe that the final answer on my statistics exam was: 50/50 What are the odds?

Statistics say that 95% of the population is dumb I'm glad to be in the 10% that isn't.

Two Statistics majors walk into a bar What're the chances!

Almost 65% of statistics are made up. The other half are lies.

According to a recent study, 9 out of 7 people Don't understand how statistics work.