Pharmacy Jokes


Funniest Pharmacy Jokes

I went into a pharmacy and asked “what gets rid of Coronavirus?” The assistant replied “ammonia cleaner” I said “I’m sorry, I thought you worked here”

Score: 12006

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.


"I can't serve you that"


"There you go".

Score: 456

A lady walked Into a pharmacy and spoke with the pharmacist She asks the pharmacist if he has viagra. "I sure do" he responds. "Does it actually work?". "Of course it does." He responds. "Can you get it over the counter?" She asks.

"I can if I take two".

Score: 288

Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test. She clearly isn’t a fan of protection

Score: 70
Funny Pharmacy Jokes
Score: 47

A Man Goes Into A Pharmacy And asks for birth control for his wife and seven year old daugher.
The pharmacist, shocked, exclaims "You're seven year old daughter is sexually active?!"
And the man just shrugs and says "Nah, she just lays there"

Score: 45

A kid walks into a pharmacy and asks the doctor if he has something to counter viagra. Doctor gets confused and asks:
-Son, every man asks for viagra, why are you asking for something to counter it?
Kid says:
-My grandpa died and we can't close the casket.

Score: 44

A shipment of Viagra was stolen from my local Pharmacy this morning. The cops are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

Score: 28

Russian pharmacy Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

Score: 27

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the Pharmacist, "Excuse me, do you have cotton balls?" The pharmacist replies, " Ma'am, if I did, my kids would be stuffed animals."

Score: 23

A woman goes to the pharmacy to buy Viagra... Woman: Can I buy Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Could you give it to me over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, I can.

Score: 22

I work in a pharmacy and during inventory they found a bottle of 360 viagra missing. Someone is going to have a hard year.

Score: 17

Coronavirus I went into the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant 'What gets rid of Coronavirus?'.

She said 'Ammonia cleaner'.

I said 'I'm sorry, I thought you worked here'.

Score: 14

People always say laughter is the best medicine... But when I ask for it at the pharmacy people always give me a weird look.

Score: 12

If marijuana starts getting sold in a grocery store... Would it be in the pharmacy or the baking aisle?

Score: 10

A pharmacy was broken into and the only thing stolen was a case of Viagra Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals

Score: 9

One evening, a dad joke came home late from the office. He and your mom joke got a little drunk after dinner and since the pharmacy was closed, well, lewd story short, that's how they ended up with a pun in the oven.

Score: 7

My doctor prescribed me a new medication. It’s called Fukitol. Unfortunately, the pharmacy had none left to give.

Score: 6

Guy walks into the pharmacy Guy walks into the pharmacy and asks for a packet of SSX condoms. The chemist brought a pack and asked,"Are you sure you want this size, they wouldn't fit a mouse?"

"I hope so",said the guy"I'm over run with them".

Score: 5

I was at the pharmacy to get some Viagra.. The pharmacist asked me if I had it prescribed.
I answered: No, but you can see a pic of my girlfriend.

Score: 5

An old lady walks into a pharmacy \- I would like to buy a pack of acetylsalicylic acid.

\- Do you mean aspirin?

\- Oh yes! I couldn't remember the name!

Score: 5

A lady walked into a pharmacy She asked the pharmacist, "Do you have viagra?" "Yes," he answered. "Does it really work?" she asked. "Yes," he answered. "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked. "I can if I take two," he answered.

Score: 5

Did you hear they finally released Viagra in generic form? The next time your are at the pharmacy ask for coxbphlopin.

Score: 5

My pharmacy is having a liquidation sale. Laxatives are 50% off.

Score: 5

Police were chasing two robbers ...who ran into a pharmacy jumped on to a scale and got a weigh.

Score: 4

(Nerd joke warning) What do you call a pharmacy that *may* exist? An hypothecary

Score: 4

A woman walks up to the pharmacy counter and asks if they have any vibrators... The pharmacist nods and steps around the counter. He waggles his forefinger at her and says "come this way..."

She says "If I could come *that* way, I wouldn't need a vibrator!"

Score: 3

Why are there no pharmacy stores in Africa? Because you’re not supposed to take medicine on an empty stomach.

Score: 3

A duck walks into a pharmacy grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says "that'll be $3.50. The duck says "just put it on my bill"

Score: 3

A man goes into a pharmacy And asks,
Do you have pills for memory?
The pharmacist says,
Yes we do.
And the man goes:
You do what?

Score: 2

The other day a group of guys robbed all the anti-depressants from the pharmacy up the street from me and now my whole neighbourhood is terrified Hope they're happy

Score: 2

A man goes into the pharmacy to buy viagra Can i have a 50mg dose of viagra? The man asks, sure no problem, says the pharmacist, but i need to see your prescription first, to which the man replies, i can show you a picture of my wife

Score: 2

Between us A guy goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist “do you have cotton balls?”

Pharmacist replies “oh yeah sure - what do I look like a Teddy Bear?!”

Score: 2

My local IKEA store has opened up a pharmacy in it... I bought some suppositories from it but had to put them up myself.

Score: 2

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill.

Score: 2

Man goes into a Pharmacy He asks the Pharmacist for some contraception for his daughter. The Pharmacist asks "Is she very sexually active?"

The man replies "Naaah she kinda lays there like her mother"

Score: 2

When the sales guy at the pharmacy told me that they had unfortunately run out of tea sweeteners I politely pointed to the homeopathic medicines aisle and said "No you have not."

Score: 2

A duck walks into a pharmacy A duck walks into a pharmacy and buys some chapstick. He says to the cashier

"put it on my bill".

Score: 2

What does a pharmacy sell to help you fix your fingernails? Pharma-cuticles.

Score: 2

A frog hops into a pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks if he wants smooth or ribbed ones. The frog replies.... "ribbit"

Score: 2

A duck walks into a CVS pharmacy and buys chapstick He tells the clerk, “just put it on my bill”.

Score: 2

Popular Topics

New Pharmacy Jokes

Girl are you a BD due pen needle? because you ultra fine

This killed at the pharmacy I work in.

Score: 1

My friend was beaten up by a pharmacist yesterday one friend of mine was beaten by a pharmacist yesterday. he went to the pharmacy and was hurling expletives on medicines.

Pharmacist told him not to abuse drugs

Score: 1

Duck waddles in to a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm. "Certainly sir, will that be cash or credit?." "Just put it on my bill."

Score: 1

Popular Topics