Hilarious Tax Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Tax Jokes

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You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail

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You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

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I saw a lady in tears at the store She said she had lost an envelope with her tax refund inside. I gave her 100$ because I had just found about $1600 in the parking lot.
#payitforward

Score: 556

Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese. It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.

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Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions.

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So much tax evasion in America... Almost like the country was founded on it or something

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Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue.

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A teenager buys condoms for the first time... The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax.".

Horrified, the boy exclaims "I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

Score: 38

You can tell Monopoly is an old game... Because there is luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

Score: 36

America's new tax plan raises taxes on coal miners Which is weird. I thought American politicians were rather fond of minors.

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U2 are one of Ireland's most successful bands. Or according to their tax returns, one of Netherlands' least successful hardware store owners.

Score: 30

I have a joke for you The government in this country is excellent, and uses your tax dollars efficiently.

Score: 30

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee: Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

Score: 28

The UK announced it's removing tax from tampon sales. Though there will undoubtedly be strings attached.

Score: 20

A guy stops in at the local pharmacy to buy condoms. That will be twelve fifty with tax.
Tax he exclaims!!! don't these things stay on by themselves???

Score: 18

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only your skin. [Mark Twain]

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What is Father Christmas's tax status? What is Father Christmas's tax status?

Elf-employed.

Score: 16

Everyone should pay their income tax with a smile I tried - but they wanted cash.

Score: 14

Breaking - Trump emailed Hillary Clinton his tax returns She just accidentally deleted them.

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Want to hear a joke? Your government is competent and uses your tax dollars efficiently.

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I'm writing a film about a cannibal undead tax exile who plays drums, eats your mother and then is sick. It's a nondomtomtomnomnommomvomromzomcom

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Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."

Score: 10

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Score: 10

Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks. Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.

Score: 10

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate? He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

Score: 9

All states should legalize marijuana and redirect the resulting tax revenues to road repair We'll call the program "Operation Pot Holes."

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What's the difference between tax and fine? A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season? Because it is just as real as the other religions.

Score: 8

At this point I feel that there's probably nothing self-incriminating in his tax returns. Or else Donald J. Trump or Junior would have tweeted it out to the public.

Score: 8

A man calls the IRS office "Hi, my last name is Sweady, but on the cheque you sent me for my tax return, you've written it as cyirwu."

"I'm sorry about that, could you spell it out for me?"

"Sure, S as in sea, W as in why, E as in eye, A as in are, D as in double-u, and Y as in you."

Score: 7

The Atheist Church of America just filed a new tax status with the IRS. 

They are a non-prophet organization.

Score: 7

A rapist, a tax evader, and the president walk into a bar He orders a beer

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In all fairness, Trump can't release his tax returns At least not until Putin sends him his W2s.

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Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS? They know how the system will react to sin tax errors

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I think my neighbor might be involved in some illegal activities. I heard him confess to tax evasion when I was smoking meth in his attic.

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The only constants in life are taxes, death, and... 99c+tax AriZona Iced Tea

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Got a letter from the tax office saying my tax was outstanding. Which was a nice surprise, because I don't even remember doing it.

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David Cameron: Tax evasion is morally wrong, I leaned that from my father. The tax evasion bit, not the morally wrong bit.

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What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns Not my precedent

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New Tax Jokes

Which state would like to pay the most bill for building Trump wall? Tax us

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Which state of people would like to pay the tax bill the most? Tax us

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A man wrote the IRS saying . . . . . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".

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Did you know that the IRS is now offering a tax credit for those who purchase marijuana? Yeah, all you need to do is file a joint return.

Score: 1

Person: Completes 40 years of tax and home payments to finally pay off mortgage EA: we just wanted users to feel a sense of accomplishment...

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What is Greece's most popular sport? Tax Evasion

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Joel Osteen is actually interested in using his arena-sized megachurch as a shelter... ...Oh wait. You're not a tax? Never mind.

Score: 2

I prefer riding with Uber The other options are too tax-y for me

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Recording on an Australian tax help line.... Repeat That, Mate?

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

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[Blonde] Why are all the blondes rushing to get breast implants? Because they don't want to pay the flat tax.

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I need to find a better job I can't even pay my income tax

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At the IRS audit IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free.

Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?

IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.

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Why doesn't Trump want to release his tax returns? HUUUUUGE write offs for plastic bed sheets.

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Government - 'Um, we're having big issues with tax evasion. People are stashing away notes with large denominations.' Modi: 'Have you tried turning them off and and on again?'

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Marijuana tax revenue used to prevent bullying. Surplus marijuana tax revenue in Colorado will be used to prevent bullying in the state’s schools. It will be the first time that drug money is used to buy waterproof calculators.

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Sherlock Holmes faced a tax audit because... all his clever deductions made the tax office very suspicious.

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