2 blind guys were about to fight
I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
Both started running away.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Shout, “I got money on that guy with the knife!”
What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband's voice just right
A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
I was on a blind date with this girl...
And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."
I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two blind guys fighting
We got closer and I said "My bet is on the one with the knife."
They both ran
How do you find a blind guy at a nude beach? It's not hard
I saw a man in the street with a dog and a white stick. I said ‘You must be blind.’ He said ‘Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.’ So I said ‘There’s a tree over there.’
In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective.
Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus, That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
I saw two blind men fighting
And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
Then they both ran away
Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot
Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
In my spare time I like to help blind people. I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children By the way: Verb, not adjective
I like to help blind children. The verb, not the adjective.
Today, I saw 2 blind people fighting Then I shouted: "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away.
Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person. I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
Stevie Wonder was once asked if there could be anything worse then being blind. To which he replied "Well... I could have been black".
I got a handjob from a blind girl the other day...
She told me it was the biggest she'd ever had.
I said, "Aww, you're just pulling my leg."
A blind man had to shoot his dog... To this day, he still misses him
Why did the blind lady fall into the well? Because... she couldn't see that well.
So you like limericks, huh?
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braile.
Why did the blind woman fall into the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
Why did the half blind man fall into a well? He couldn't see that well.
Why did the almost blind man fall into a well? Because he couldn't see that well
How did the blind priest find the choir boys? Satisfying.
What does a healthy dog and a blind gynecologist have in common? A wet nose.
Why did the blind lady fall into a well? She didn't see that well.
I gave a deaf blind child my seat in the taxi After he ran over several people I began to contemplate my decision, I told him to stop but he just wouldn't listen
I gave my seat up to a blind man on the bus today... I also lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the half blind man fall into a well? 'cuz he couldn't see that well.
In a blind test, 100% of participants... said they totally didn't see this joke coming.
Can you spot the blind man at a nudest party? It's not hard.
I used to date a girl who was blind. She broke up with me when I told her we should see other people.
President Trump truly can't see why what he is doing is against the law. He is illegally blind.
You ever hear about the blind Gynecologist? He's great at reading lips.
What do you call a blind girl with a vacuum? A Roomba
How do blind bats fall in love? They just click
Like a nice human I am, i have up my seat to a blind person on a bus That's how I lost my job as a bus driver
I saw a blind man in the GroceryStore today and he was swinging his guide dog around his head. I asked “what are you doing” he’s reply “Just having a quick look around”.
Why is it illegal for blind people to skydive? Because that wouldn’t be fair to the dog
A man blind man walks into a bar And a table and a chair and…
What song do blind people hate the most? See you again
What did the cow say to the blind farmer with only one arm? Moo
Dark humor no joke
Kid: Mom, what is dark humor ?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there ? Tell him to clap.
Kid: Mom ! I am blind.
Two blind people are fighting
I yell "im supporting the one with the knife!"
They both run away.
Why do blind people get sick very easily? They don't get enough vitamin C
The other day my dad told me"Son, if you don't quit jerking off, you're gonna go blind!" I replied: "Dad, I'm over here."
Why is Stevie Wonder so humble? He’s blind to his success!
How do you know there's a blind guy at a nude beach? It's not hard.
I organized a charity race for blind people yesterday But there was no one to watch
Blind people are really empathetic They feel everything
A blind man walked into a library And a table and a chair and people.
I took my blind friend to go see stand up comedy once after the viewing had ended, he told me that the jokes were so old, lame, and boring that even he could have seen them coming.
What do people with sight and blind people have in common? They both can't see John Cena.
I gave up my seat in the bus to a blind person. I didnt tell him though. We both just stood there like a couple of idiots.
Stop making jokes on blind people... ....they don't see the point
I had an appointment with my eye doctor cause I thought I was going blind. Something came up so I couldn’t see him today.
How do you know when you have a really bad casase of acne? When the blind start trying to read your face
Today I gave a blind old woman my seat on the bus. That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
A young sales clerk removed an old mans sunglasses and insisted he tries on a new pair.
"I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.
"Why not?" asked the clerk.
"Because I'm blind".
Why did the blind kid who pretended to be Superman keep running into walls? He had no supervision.
How do you tell if a man at a nude beach is blind? It’s not hard.
Kindness is dead.Yesterday I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind man. Today I lost my job as a bus driver.
how to spot a blind person in a nude beach? it's not hard!
I gave my bus seat to a blind man yesterday. Today I lost my job as bus driver.
What do you get when you flip off a blind man, and cuss out a deaf man? Fired from your nursing job.
The blind man said he could see So he picked up his hammer and saw
Why did the half blind man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
Where do West Virginians go for Blind Dates? Olive Garden..when you're here you're family.
My friend Ray just passed away :(
He was on the donar list. Apparently they used his eyes to give some poor blind sod his eye sight back.
Its a miracle really, now he's got ex Ray vision
I'm always looking out for others. One time I gave up my seat to a blind person the bus ..that's how I lost my job as a bus driver
I unexpectedly found out I’m color blind That sure came out of the yellow
I gave up my seat to a blind woman on the bus... That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver
How do you spot a blind man on nude beach It's not hard
"I see," said the blind construction worker, As he picked up his hammer and saw
My favorite classic joke: What did the blind man say when walking past the fish store? Good day ladies. Sorry, I'll see myself out. This won't happen again.
A gave my seat up to a blind man The next day I got fired as a bus driver
Why was Hellen Kellers belly button bruised... Because her boyfriend was blind and deaf too
What does a color blind racist say?
I don't see color
I see race
How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind? At least I'm not black.
What do you call a blind person who can't find his/her glasses? Eyeronic.
I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario Or if they just see the world in black and white.
Son, we need to talk
'Son, we need to talk!'
'Your mother said she saw you watching inappropriate videos online. Those videos are trash, they’re garbage and if you keep watching them, you’ll go blind!'
'I’m over here.'
My doctor informed me today that I'm color blind. "Well," I said... ..."THAT certainly came out of the green!"
Did you hear what the blind man said to the deaf man? Neither did he.
What's the worst prank you can pull on your blind brother? Leaving the plunger in the toilet.
Why is Hellen Keller's leg yellow? Her dog is blind too
Do blind people care if their significant others are hot? (OC?)
Do blind people care if their significant others are hot?
Of course they do! They're blind, not necrophiliacs!
(Probably been done before, but I thought of it while on the toilet.)
I thought I share this gem What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man? .....Leave the plunger in the toilet!
What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person? Leaving a plunger in the toilet.
Did you hear about...
Did you hear about the blind circumciser?
He got the sack!