2 blind guys were about to fight
I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
Both started running away.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Shout, “I got money on that guy with the knife!”
A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
I was on a blind date with this girl...
And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."
I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two blind guys fighting
We got closer and I said "My bet is on the one with the knife."
They both ran
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
I saw two blind men fighting
And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
Then they both ran away
Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot
My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
Today, I saw 2 blind people fighting Then I shouted: "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away.
Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person. I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
I got a handjob from a blind girl the other day...
She told me it was the biggest she'd ever had.
I said, "Aww, you're just pulling my leg."
Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person
I was also fired from my job as a bus driver..
Edit: Thank you for the gold u/H4hack !
I just found out I'm colour blind
The diagnosis came completely out of the green.
(Courtesy of a family member)
I saw two blind dudes fighting the other day...
.. and I yelled "I'm rooting for the one with the knife!"
Both of them ran away.
Dark Comedy A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.
A blind man and a man in a wheelchair are having a conversation. The man in the wheelchair says: "hey look! A spider" to which the blind man replied "step on it"
Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)
Did you hear about the blind guy who got a cheese grater for Christmas? Said it was the most violent book he’d ever read
A blind woman tells her husband that she’s seeing someone. It’s either very good or very bad news.
I saw two blind guys fighting in an alley last night. You won't believe how fast they ran when I said: "My money is on the one with the knife!"
I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple, but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater About a week later he told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read
Lately I’ve been dating a blind girl, and I find that it is incredibly rewarding. I do find some things quite difficult though I still struggle to get her husbands voice right
I just donated 100$ to a charity for blind children But I doubt they'll ever see any of the money
My friend set me up on a blind date with her vegetarian friend but I’m kind of nervous... I’ve never met herbivore.
I was in a relationship with a blind girl.
It was rewarding, but challenging.
It took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
This morning I gave up my seat on a bus to a blind man I also got fired from my job as a bus driver
how many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they'll just sit there and talk about how it's gonna blind them and how there no proof that light bulbs provide light
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
2 blind kids were fighting at school...
A bunch of students started to crowd around the fight. One of the students yelled “I’ve got 20 bucks on the one with the knife!”
Both of them ran away
I started dating a blind woman. It's fantastic. However, it took me quite a long time to mimic the voice of her husband.