A man and a woman are lying in bed late night... ...and the woman asks her man: "Honey, do you prefer smart or pretty women?" and the man responds calmly: "Neither, baby, I prefer you."
Bill Gates wakes up one morning, hungover, after a late night soirée at the foundation.
Melinda looks at him and says, "Wow, Bill, you don't look so good."
Bill replies, "Yeah I know, I feel like a million bucks..."
Late night we were driving home when one of my drunk friends was cracking jokes I died laughing. Don't drink and drive.
My girlfriend and I were about to go for a late night walk.
Her dad said, "Don't forget to wrap up."
I said, "Don't be silly, she's on the pill."
What did the rubber ball say when he left the yo-yo's late night house party? You better get some sleep - I'm gonna bounce!
Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history...
Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it....
[credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]
What do you call a depressed clementine on a late night walk? A meanderin' orange.
Don't you just love a late night snack?... Apparently the guy next door doesn't cause he called the police when he found me in the pantry.
what's this joke mean at late night show? Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz recently said that despite rumors, he is not considering running for president in 2020. He wanted to, but they keep misspelling his name on the banner.
What's difference between a nun in Church and one in Cemetery late night?
One is the nun, other is the bus driver.
^Ok, I'm sorry, I'm out.
A man is in the middle of telling a joke on a late night when suddenly he drifts to sleep, his head slamming on the keyboard. fihaidfpuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus
What did one strawberry say to the other.
If you hadn't been so ripe yesterday we wouldn't be in this jam!!
Was told this joke by a late night cashier. Good to see people can enjoy their work at any hour of the day.
How do you win a late night argument with your deaf wife? You turn off the lights.
On the late night train....
On a late night train, I was alone in a carriage, this pretty young thing boards. I stared at her.
She snapped "what are you looking at? "
I sighed.
"6 to 8 years if someone else gets in this carriage."