It takes a big man to accept when he is wrong It takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a giraffe? A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do? Get your drunk as off the carousel.
A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar.
The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious.
The bartender says "you can't leave that lyin' there."
The man says "its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"
At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen.
When I was a kid a zookeeper caught me smoking a camel. I told him I'd kill a giraffe too if he didn't keep his mouth shut.
A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........
Shame on you for wanting a punchline.
This giraffe needs help.
A giraffe walks into a bar...
A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 vodkas and shame on you for expecting a punch line.
This giraffe needs help.
It takes a long time for a giraffe... ...to swallow its pride.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y.
What did the giraffe say to the conspiracy theorist? Nothing, giraffes aren't real.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a giraffe? A stern reprimand from the bioethics committee.
A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer
the bartender asks, "You want a long neck?"
The giraffe says, "I have a choice?"
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck? Because its head is so far away from its body.
Why didnt the audience laugh at the giraffe' s joke? It went over their heads
How was the first giraffe made? Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
A English teacher says to a African student.. "okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"
A man and his giraffe walk into a bar... The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor and the bartender says, "Oi, what's that lyin' over there?" The owner of the giraffe says, "That's no lion, that's a giraffe!"
Man walks into a bar with a giraffe The giraffe goes to sleep on the floor. The bartender says, "Aye, what's that lyin' there?" The man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
What is a giraffe's favorite fruit? Necktarines
Where do you put Giraffes that don't feel good? Giraffe-Sick Park
So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar... and drink until the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" Man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I´d ever seen.
A giraffe walks into a bar... The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, "what's that lyin over there." And someone replies, "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."
Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head is so far away from it's body.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar..
They both sit at the bar and start drinking..8 pints later...
the giraffe falls down drunk
The bartender says "You better not leave that lying there"
The man says "Thats not a lion, thats a giraffe"
A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar...
The bar tender looks up
"What is this? A joke?"
So a man and a giraffe walk into a bar....
They each get wasted, the giraffe falls over.
The man goes to leave but the bartender says "oi! you cant leave that lyin there!"
The man says... "Its not a lion... its a giraffe."
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. The giraffe gets drunk and falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "ey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!” and the man says, "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
So a giraffe walks into a bar and says... ...highballs on me.
What do you get when you cross a cheese grater with a giraffe? A ban from the zoo.
What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe.
No joke The giraffe is being born!
A Nun and a Parrot
Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”
Why did the giraffe go off eating acacia leaves?
He had an elevated palate.
The second joke I have made up!
A young couple goes cloudwatching
The girl points a cloud, and she says, "Oh! I see a giraffe!"
The boy points at another, "Yeah? I see a mushroom!"
Why did the Giraffe have PTSD?
Because he was giraffe'ted into the war.
Also Melman's job didn't pay well.
Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder and a giraffe walk into a bar The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What do you call a giraffe that eats another giraffe? Giraffrey Dahmer
Once you see a lion catch a giraffe... You've seen a maul.
Did you hear about the guy who says he saw a giraffe with a tail longer than it’s neck? I think he’s just telling tall tails
Have you ever think about how long would it take for a giraffe to throw up? You ain't. 'cause you only think about yourself. You selfish af.
Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race? It was neck and neck.
Giraffe walks into a bar, has a drink, then lies down on the floor to sleep
Guy walks in and says - "what's that lyin' there?"
Bartender says "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"
A giraffe walks into a bar And shouts "highballs are on me!"
If you're thinking about sending a baby gift to April the giraffe She's registered at Toys R Us
It's better to read this aloud
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
The giraffe falls asleep on the floor.
The bartender asks the man "What's that lyin' there?".
The man says "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe.".
What's the similarity between a giraffe and an elephant?
- I don't know, What ?
-They both start With the letter G
-What? That makes no sense??
-The elephant's name is Greg
A giraffe is the only animal that can walk into a bar and say ... ' The Highballs are on me'
A guy brings his Giraffe into a bar... ... but the giraffe bumps his head on the ceiling and falls over. The bartender says "Hey! You can't have that lyin' in here!" And the guy calmly replies, "That's not a lion, its a giraffe!"