Crab Jokes

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Funniest Crab Jokes

Funny Crab Jokes
Score: 879

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died... She was eaten by a massive crab

Score: 794

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Score: 684

My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.

Score: 387

My Wife's star sign is Cancer and it's pretty ironic how she died... She was attacked by a giant crab

Score: 326

My uncle's zodiac sign was Cancer, which was ironic, because he died from being crushed by a giant crab.

Score: 210

Scientists found out that crabs hear through their legs. A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.

Score: 193

A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.

Score: 184

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..." "That she was killed by a giant crab."

Score: 172

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit? Ans: “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

Score: 139

My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab

Score: 121

My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.

Score: 109

My dad's sign was cancer. Its so ironic how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab.

Score: 100

Apparently crabs hear through their legs. A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut off its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.

Score: 87

My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died... she was attacked by a giant crab

Score: 81

My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab.

Score: 68

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Score: 51

My girlfriends star sign My girlfriends star sign is cancer, so it was quite ironic how she died

She got beaten to death by a giant crab

Score: 51

My sister's zodiac sign was cancer, which is really ironic to how she died... She got squashed by a giant crab.

Score: 40

The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died. He was eaten by a large crab.

Score: 37

My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab.

Score: 35

Why did the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.

Score: 29

My wife's starsign was cancer, which makes how she died pretty ironic. Attacked by a giant crab.

Score: 28

My grandfathers star sign was cancer which is ironic seeing how he died. He was eaten by a giant crab.

Score: 26

What do you call an oriental crab? A Crust-Asian

Score: 24

My ex-girlfriend's star sign was cancer. It is quite ironic how she died.... .... she was killed by a giant crab.

Score: 23

A guy walks into a seafood store carrying a crab, and he asked the owner, "Do you make crab cakes?" And the owner said, "Yes we do."...So the guy said, "Good because it's his birthday."

Score: 22

Why does the sad crab walk side ways? Because he has nothing to look forward to

Score: 20

What is the difference between an old bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busy crustacean

Score: 18

So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer. which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab...

Score: 17

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, so it was pretty ironic how she died... She was eaten by a giant crab.

Score: 13

What’s the difference between an old bus stop and a crab in a bikini? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Score: 9

The crab just caught a train... ...from the Crustacean

Score: 6

Why was everyone confused when a crab walked straight into the bar? Because crabs only walk sideways.

Score: 5

What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab? Leonardo da Pinci

Score: 5

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer, kind of ironic how she died... She was eaten by a giant crab

Score: 5

What's the difference between an old crab and a Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian

Score: 4

My dad's zodiac sign was Cancer. It is ironic how he died. He has eaten by a giant crab

Score: 4

Why wouldn't the crab share his things? Because he was *SHELLFISH*

Score: 4

How did the hermit crab show off his new apartment? He took a shelfie.

Score: 4

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New Crab Jokes

Why did I break up with my crab? I caught her chitin.

Score: 0

What is common between hermit crab and a millenial All their lifes they rent a house.

Score: 0

What does a crab say when he goes to the rodeo? Yee-Claw!

Score: 0

One of my favorite jokes I might have found on here or somewhere else. But what's the difference between an old run down bus station and a crab that recently got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, while the other is a busty crustacean.

Score: 1

What do you call a crab that knows king fu? A Crust-Asian

Score: 1

You kmow what you call an air tight crustacean? A hermetic crab

Score: 0

Why didn't the hermit crab want to share his home? Because he was a little shellfish...

Score: 1

What's the difference between an old crab and Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian

Score: 3

People say star signs are a load of rubbish, but it's not true. My gran was a cancer, which is ironic considering how she died.... Eaten by a giant crab.

Score: 2

What's the difference between an old crab and a Korean in the oven? Ones a crusty crustacean and the other's a crispy crust Asian

Score: 2

What did Barrack say when he was all alone? [1/2 OC] Here I am Obama self...
Like a crab in Michelle.

Score: 1

Why did the little crab keep all the treasure for himself? Because he was a little shellfish.

Score: 1

what do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean? a shell out

Score: 3

What kind of chinese food goes on adventures? Crab ragoonies

Score: 1

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