Crab Jokes

Why the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died... She was eaten by a massive crab

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.

My Wife's star sign is Cancer and it's pretty ironic how she died... She was attacked by a giant crab

My uncle's zodiac sign was Cancer, which was ironic, because he died from being crushed by a giant crab.

Scientists found out that crabs hear through their legs. A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.

A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..." "That she was killed by a giant crab."

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit? Ans: “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab

My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.

My dad's sign was cancer. Its so ironic how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab.

Apparently crabs hear through their legs. A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut off its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.

My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died... she was attacked by a giant crab

My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

My girlfriends star sign My girlfriends star sign is cancer, so it was quite ironic how she died

She got beaten to death by a giant crab

My sister's zodiac sign was cancer, which is really ironic to how she died... She got squashed by a giant crab.

The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died. He was eaten by a large crab.

My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab.

Why did the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.

My wife's starsign was cancer, which makes how she died pretty ironic. Attacked by a giant crab.

My grandfathers star sign was cancer which is ironic seeing how he died. He was eaten by a giant crab.

What do you call an oriental crab? A Crust-Asian

My ex-girlfriend's star sign was cancer. It is quite ironic how she died.... .... she was killed by a giant crab.

A guy walks into a seafood store carrying a crab, and he asked the owner, "Do you make crab cakes?" And the owner said, "Yes we do."...So the guy said, "Good because it's his birthday."

Why does the sad crab walk side ways? Because he has nothing to look forward to

What is the difference between an old bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busy crustacean

So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer. which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab...

My late grandmother's star sign was Cancer, which is ironic... She got killed by a giant crab.

My grandma's star sign was Cancer so her death was pretty ironic... She was killed by a giant crab.

My ex wife's star sign was Cancer, quite ironic considering how she died... ...Eaten by a giant crab 🦀

Note: not my joke, not sure where I heard it

Edit: Jimmy Carr / Bo Burnham

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin... and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

The crab just caught a train... ...from the Crustacean

My grandmother was born under the sign of Cancer, which is ironic because last week she actually got killed by a giant crab.

Why was everyone confused when a crab walked straight into the bar? Because crabs only walk sideways.

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer, kind of ironic how she died... She was eaten by a giant crab

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself, that's shellfish.

Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along? They were too shellfish.