I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.
Called my wife on her cell to warn her about this crazy driver on the news who’s speeding down the highway in the wrong direction. She replied: “I know! There’s like hundreds of them!”
It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.
A kid gets home very distressed...
And says to his mom: "mom someone is calling me crazy at school!!!:
And the mom asks him: "who honey? Who is calling you that?"
"The squirrels! Those goddamn squirrels!!!!"
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . . . . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
It's crazy how everyone sleeps differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone.
Adolf Hitler and my wife have the same birthday. It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people... Shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.
They say that coconut water is good for hair. Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.
Did you hear about the party thief? I mean I've seen some crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake.
Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s furniture Emporium.
I tickled my little sister's foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it... ..something about waiting until she was born
Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.
I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it. Something about "Waiting until he's born".
A ship is sailing through the sea...
passing by a small island and watches a man screaming and shouting.
A passenger asks the captain:
- Who is he?
- We don't know, he gets crazy every year we pass here.
Auto-correct is so crazy now a days... My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'
I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. Crazy conversations, he was definitely a seasoned veteran.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer today... I dont know what he laced them with but i have been tripping like crazy
they asked a 100year old grandpa why were all the women still crazy about him? grandpa said nothing! just gently licked his eyebrow
What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money? Blacking out and gaining money.
What was the news headline when a crazy man sexually assaulted two laundry women and ran away? NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards... ...creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
My therapist said that I was crazy
I said “I want a second opinion!”
He said “ok, you’re ugly too!”
After a crazy night on the town, all I can remember before blacking out is paramedics approaching me with a stretcher. I guess I got carried away.
I think this is funny
A wife asked her husband : if i die what would happen to you ?
Husband : i would go crazy!! why would you say that
Wife : so you wouldn't get married again ?
Husband : a crazy man might do anything
A man is driving in the highway
When his wife calls him very saying "watch out, a crazy man is driving into oncoming traffic in the highway you usually take to work"
The man replies: "one? Everyone is doing it"
My crazy stepmom kept knocking on the mall's doors until the lockdown was over. Unfortunately, she has now been released.
A woman saw in the news that a crazy driver was going in the opposite direction on a one way road, so she called to warn her husband. Her husband said "it's not just one, honey, it's all of them!"
Read an article where a girl plans on marrying a tree. That's so crazy but what if he leaves you.
Two cows are standing in a field.
The first cow says to the second, “have you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die”.
The second cow replies, “good thing I‘m a helicopter.”
A crazy man was in a mental hospital, received an envelope, opened it and took out a blank piece of paper. He looked at his roommate and said: -"It's my brother, we haven't spoken in 6 months..."
Did you hear about the COVID-19 spreading like crazy in Italy? Looks like it's being pasta around.
"Doc I need your help! My brother's crazy he thinks he's a chicken!"
Shocked, the doctor says "Why don't you turn him in?"
"I would but I need the eggs!"
If you see a deer with out antlers acting crazy dont try to eat it without cooking it first. Everyone knows you cant eat raw kooky doe.
A clown goes crazy and starts murdering everybody with a cast-iron skillet. Don't get the joke? It's deadpan humor.
My friend was bitten by a Great White at a New Jersey beach. Well, he actually used the phrase "Superior Aryan." Either way he was one crazy skinhead.
Did you hear about the crazy man who jumped into the river in Paris? Many people say he’s inseine
People who vaccinate their kids are crazy People who vaccinate their kids are crazy because I had a doctor do it.
People always fondly say, "If these walls could talk, they could tell some crazy stories" Don't bother, my walls could talk and all they did was moan my dad's name
People in China eat all kinds of crazy foods But for some reason they only take halal organ donors
Oh man... did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way...
I mean, the doctors cannoli do so much.
It’s just crazy how you can wake up one day and be gone tomato.
I’ve truly never sausage a tragic thing.
So sad he ran out of thyme... :~(
I thought I was going crazy when I heard my laptop singing It makes sense though since it’s a Dell.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
I did something crazy the other day...
...I used the toilet without playing on my smartphone.
Instead I played with myself.
Did you hear about the girl who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time? She became a little spore addict.
There was a huge fight at the boat store.
Paddles were on clearance for 90% off, and people went crazy trying to get them.
It was quite an oar deal.
My friends always say not to touch crazy girls with a ten foot pole. Well that’s okay because mine is only like 4.5 inches.
What's the difference between a hooker and a wife?
I hooker will drive you crazy for 50 minutes using her tongue
A wife will drive you crazy for 50 years using her mouth