Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate They'll kill your dog
Crazy girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... They'll kill your dog.
I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.
That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Called my wife on her cell to warn her about this crazy driver on the news who’s speeding down the highway in the wrong direction. She replied: “I know! There’s like hundreds of them!”
Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.
My therapist said I could book 10 sessions in advance for £6000 She must think I'm crazy!!
I’m going to freeze myself at a temperature of -273.15 degrees celsius. My friend thinks I’m crazy, but I’ll be 0K.
It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.... They'll kill your dog.
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . . . . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
I've decided to freeze myself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius. My friends all think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K.
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!
It's crazy how everyone sleeps differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone.
Adolf Hitler and my wife have the same birthday. It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people... Shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.
There's something crazy I really want to try in bed.. Getting 8 hours of sleep
They say that coconut water is good for hair. Now, I understand why my pubes are growing like crazy recently.
What kind of trails does a crazy person travel? Psychopaths. (I hate myself)
How does a crazy person walk through the forest? He takes the psychopath.
Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer.
The lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy"
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy"
Crazy exes are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog
Did you hear about the party thief? I mean I've seen some crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake.
Crazy ex's are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog
Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts That’s as crazy as the discounts at Dave’s furniture Emporium.
Crazy ex-gilrfriends are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog.
Why did the crazy mexican crash a train?
He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out
I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it. Something about "Waiting until he's born".
Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.
Some people say I am crazy Lucky for me, only I can hear them
A ship is sailing through the sea...
passing by a small island and watches a man screaming and shouting.
A passenger asks the captain:
- Who is he?
- We don't know, he gets crazy every year we pass here.
I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. Crazy conversations, he was definitely a seasoned veteran.
they asked a 100year old grandpa why were all the women still crazy about him? grandpa said nothing! just gently licked his eyebrow
My wife said it was "crazy and impossible" when I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."
Where does almond and cashew milk come from? Crazy cows. They have to be nuts.
Why is Kim Jong Un so crazy? His father was mentally Il.
I don’t mind that my wife thinks I’m crazy. I mind that I have to hear it from our dog.
What caused the fisherman to go crazy? Pier pressure.
How did the crazy man get across the forrest? He took the psycho path. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How crazy is the coronavirus pandemic? Batshit crazy.
My therapist said that I was crazy
I said “I want a second opinion!”
He said “ok, you’re ugly too!”
A crazy man was in a mental hospital, received an envelope, opened it and took out a blank piece of paper. He looked at his roommate and said: -"It's my brother, we haven't spoken in 6 months..."
With everything crazy going on I do have to admit. We are facing an outbreak Of Paranoia!!!
In China they call me the Joker... Because I'm crazy about Bats and will kill your parents.
After 30 years of marriage I still get excited by the prospect of sleeping with my wife It's crazy that we're still virgins
You guys hear about this iran stuff? Crazy.. Crazy stuff. I didnt even know Apple made countries.
My 5 year old just told me he wants to be a cop when he grows up It’s crazy. I didn’t even know he was racist.
My Psychatrist said that I'm going crazy. I told him, "if you don't mind, i'd like a second opinion".. So he goes, "alright, and you're ugly too"
What do you call a crazy superhero? _Super Nuts_
Are you a Rabbi practicing in Georgia, U.S.A? 'Cause Jew Macon me crazy
Its already October, so here's an update on all the fun and crazy things I've done so far 1. Work
A random person came up to me and said I look crazy I’m not. I have food allergies. It’s hard to be crazy and allergic to peanuts.
There's 17.2 million of users on this subreddit! Im guessing the number of creative jokes is crazy round here. Round as in like 30 or 40.
The signage at the Area 51 event is pretty crazy. They are out of this world.
My friends always say not to touch crazy girls with a ten foot pole. Well that’s okay because mine is only like 4.5 inches.
I kept hearing some crazy stuff was happening in Hong Kong so I looked it up. According to Beijing, it's as calm as a June Summer's day in Tiananmen Square.
Sean Connery went crazy and beat up some female bartenders after they served him drinks. The ladies were interviewed after to see if they were okay. They said they were shaken, not stirred.
I went to the psychiatrist and he said I was crazy I said I wanted a second opinion. He replied, 'Ok you are ugly too'
Einstein famously said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result... ... so unless I'm crazy, I should probably stop getting out of bed in the morning.
Husband and wife are driving on a highway...
“Honey be careful!” There’s been news of a crazy lunatic driving in the wrong direction on the highway!”
“There’s not just one, there are hundreds!”
Did you hear about the husband on the tropical fruit diet? It’s enough to make a mango crazy!
A lot of crazy things happened during my camping trip It was in tents.
The liberal says there are more than 2 genders. The conservative then says "that's crazy--there are only 2 genders". Then the independent walks in and says "that's crazy-- There is only one gender. Women are objects"
Friend took me along to see some pole dancing the other day Those people are crazy. I could never learn the mazurka or the krakowiak.
I went to an atom party last night. It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!
You know they say 25% of women are medicated for being "crazy".. That means the other 75% is running around un-medicated.
What do you call a crazy weapon? A Cruz Missile.
Crazy girls are like a street vendor's kebab Hot, jucy, and dangerous.
Did you hear about the guy who had ADD and schizophrenia? He heard voices, but could never pay attention long enough to them to do anything crazy.
What did Scarecrow's fear toxin do to the Dark Knight? It made him go batshit crazy.
When a red head goes crazy... Its a ginger snap.
How do you steal something from a crazy person? You straight jack it.
Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie...
The Judge says "so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"
Mickey replies "No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy."