Happy Birthday Jokes

Funny Happy Birthday Jokes
Score: 267

My dad once said "do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way" 3 months later he called me at 6am to wish me a happy birthday

Score: 91

Happy Birthday to anyone who was born today! Sorry your birthday had to be Overshadowed.

Score: 79

All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible. Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

Score: 23

Happy Birthday! Most people don't make their own jokes, but X years ago your parents made you!

Score: 12

Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton.

Score: 10

What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah? Happy birthday two Jews

Score: 8

Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.

Score: 7

- Happy birthday Jimmy !! \-Thank you a lot Emily, I can't wait to see what's my gift.

\-Well, since you're 18 now, I wanted to give you something special, it starts with an "F" and ends with "uck"!

\-OMG!! I'm getting a firetruck!

Score: 6

What did the old Catholic priest say when he arrived at a 6 year old boys birthday party? Happy birthday.

Score: 5

Happy Birthday Ray Rice! I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough.

Score: 5

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday? I'll column later.

Score: 5

Important copyright notice Remember, if you sing "Happy Birthday" to the Queen, it is still *not* royalty-free.

Score: 5

I got my drug dealer arrested the other day Maybe next time you'll wish me happy birthday, mom

Score: 4

Today it's his birthday so what's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

Happy birthday Eric and sorry for the dark joke

Score: 4

My favorite gift to give is uncertainty Or is it?

Happy birthday.

Score: 4

My dad once told me "Do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way." Three months later he called me to say happy birthday at 6 am.

Score: 3

Happy Birthday Old Man As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes...


He then said, " You know, one would have been enough."

Score: 3

They say you should sing Happy Birthday when cleaning your hands, but I find Uptown Funk to be much more effective Don't believe me? Just wash

Score: 3

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris sees you. If you don't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death. Happy birthday, sir!

Score: 3

I want to wish you a Happy Birthday in Chinese. yung no mo !

Score: 2

Me: "Happy birthday, Bono" Bono: "You too"

Score: 2

No one said happy birthday to me today But it’s okay, it’s not my birthday

Score: 2

I am against picketing, but I don't know how to show it Happy Birthday man, we miss you

Score: 2

Marvin Gaye's Last Day on Earth Marvin (holding present): Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Dad: Marvin, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you.

Score: 2

Good news! I'm not a 30 year old virgin anymore! Happy birthday to me!

Score: 2

My doctor sang this to me at my birthday "Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"

Score: 2

Happy Birthday It's probably someone's birthday today, so I wanted to wish them :)

Score: 2

So it's my birthday and my parent sang me happy birthday. Mom: "Happy birthday to you!"

Dad: "Happy birthday to you!"

Mom: "Happy birthday to you!"

Dad: "You were born because your mom sniffed glue."

Score: 1

Happy Birthday to Thomas Jefferson! The founding father of light-skinned black people.

Score: 1

A local candle shop burned down... it didnt help that everyone stood outside and sang happy birthday

Score: 1

Today is 4/20 and we all know what that means - Happy birthday, Adolf Hitler!

Score: 0

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