Spring Jokes

Contents

Funniest Spring Jokes

Funny Spring Jokes
Score: 11213

How do you make a water bed more bouncy? Add spring water

Score: 722

The worst part about spring... Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.

Score: 477

A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!" A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"

Score: 277

5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no.

Score: 146

Why doesn’t Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring? Because of Mayweather

Score: 143

How do you make a waterbed bouncier? Fill it with spring water

Score: 105

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed? Spring water

Score: 90

How do you make a water bed more bouncy You add spring water

Score: 87

Finally my winter fat is gone... Now I have spring rolls.

Score: 85

What is a mattress' favorite season? Spring.

Score: 40

Who is the only Irishman that comes out in the Spring? Patty O’Furniture

Score: 40

If you want your water bed to be more bouncy... Use spring water.

Score: 35

What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived? He wet his plants.

Score: 34

What did the excited gardener do when spring finally came? He wet his plants.

Score: 23

If Billy Mays were a farmer... And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."

Score: 20

[Slinky] When should you wash a stinky slinky? During spring cleaning

Score: 15

Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back. What a releaf!

Score: 14

What's the best time to use a trampoline? Spring time.

Score: 14

How does a tree feel every first day of spring? Relieved.

Score: 11

Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much? Because of May weather.

Score: 10

How do you get the water in a watermelon? Plant it in the spring.

Score: 10

When I was a kid, we were so poor I had to bathe in the spring. When money was good, I'd bathe in the fall too.

Score: 10

I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress? Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.

Score: 9

Just finished my spring cleaning. Sometimes I wish I'd never bought a Slinky.

Score: 9

What emotion does a tree feel every spring? Relief

Score: 8

Why does Connor McGregor hate the spring time? Because he hates MayWeather

Score: 8

How do you know when spring is here? the Leafs are out!

Score: 7

what do you call water that bounces? Spring water.

Score: 7

Spring is here I'm so excited I wet my plants

Score: 7

Spring is here and the trees are getting their foilage back. What a releaf!

Score: 7

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month This is ridiculous!

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

Score: 5

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug? She gave birth in the spring

Score: 5

Found on a gardening store sign: We're so glad spring is here, we wet our plants.

Score: 4

What says the nymphomaniac's right leg to her left leg, at the end of spring break ? "Long time no see !"

Score: 4

At what time of year does F=-kx not hold? Spring Break.

Score: 4

Stop trying to predict the next Arab Spring Just pencil it in six weeks after Arab Groundhog Day.

Score: 2

Spring is here! (x-post from /r/dadjokes) I'm so excited I wet my plants.

Score: 1

What do you call a Calvinist who makes reservations for spring break? predestined

Score: 1

Why did the mechanic powerwash his shocks? Because he wanted to do a little spring cleaning.

Score: 1

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New Spring Jokes

What's the worst time to use a trampoline? Spring break

Score: 0

I’m quitting spring mix. Just checked into a mesclun clinic this afternoon.

Score: 1

What are the four main problems with Soviet agriculture? Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter

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yeh this Reagan's joke, doesn't mean it isn't funny

Score: 1

The first snow of spring here in the Midwest is alot like some other great firsts.... Like the first dent in a new car.

Score: 1

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