Alexa Jokes

Funny Alexa Jokes
Score: 118

My wife asked why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her I was afraid that Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Score: 110

ME: Siri, what time is it? ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?

ME:...

ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

Score: 45

My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly inside the house I told her it was because I felt like someone was listening to us.

She laughed...

I laughed....

Alexa laughed....

Score: 42

My wife asked why I was speaking so softly at home..... ...I said in case Zuckerburg was listening.

She laughed. I laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

Score: 37

I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word. We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby

Score: 29

My wife said someone is listening to us. I said do you believe in ghosts?

I laughed. She laughed.

Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Score: 29

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending con descending.

Thanks Alexa!

Score: 26

My fiancee keeps yelling at me because Alexa is interrupting her game on the Kindle. I can't help it. My voice turns her on.

Score: 23

I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off. She said, "I don’t know, have you tried walking through the room naked?"

Score: 23

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, Siri too.

Credit: James Franco

Score: 23

Thank you Alexa Burglar: *points gun at me* Alright buddy just show me your valuables and nobody gets hurt

Me: Haha sure thing dude - ALEXA CALL THE POLICE

Alexa: “Shuffling songs by The Police”

*Roxanne plays as I get shot 16 times*

Score: 22

My wife asks Alexa at least once a day - sometimes multiple times - what's the weather? I just added a routine to make Alexa respond "you've got windows, don't you?"

And now we wait.

(Not really a joke but I'm giggling with anticipation)

Score: 18

My parents got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and all they do is shout at it and get disappointed by all it can't do. I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.

Score: 15

Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart." Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."

Score: 13

My wife asked me why I was talking so quietly? I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening. She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri Laughed.

Score: 13

Son asks his father why does he speak so lightly at home? Father replies because there is artificial intelligence that listens to everything we say. Son laughs, the dad laughs, Alexa laughs

Score: 10

Alexa tell me a marriage joke.. Me: "Alexa tell me a marriage joke"

Alexa: "sorry, something went wrong"

Score: 8

People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?

Score: 6

I asked my phone "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said "I'm Alexa you moron."

Score: 6

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred.

Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.

Score: 5

In this house we say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to Alexa. We're hoping she’ll take it easy on us when Skynet goes active.

Score: 5

My wife asked me why I speak so softly while I’m at home... I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerburg was listening!

She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the woman who invented the knock knock joke? She won the no-bell prize!
(Courtesy of my new Alexa!)

Score: 5

Why is Alexa always crashing? Female drivers.

Score: 4

Wishing a happy women’s day to Siri and Alexa .... the only two women who listen to men and do as they say!!

Score: 4

A guy asks Alexa to define "rendezvous"... Alexa: As a noun, rendezvous is usually defined as an agreement between two or more persons to meet at a certain time and place.

Guy: Spell it.

Alexa: It is spelled, I. T.

Score: 4

My girlfriend asked me why I was speaking so softly at home I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Score: 4

My wife asked me why I always spoke so quietly in the house... I told her “I’m afraid Mark Zuckerberg would hear me.”

She laughed. I laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

Score: 4

What do you think Alexa, siri, and cortana identity as Binary

Score: 4

Amazon Alexa is a police officer My girlfriend just said "Alexa, Black Lives Matter". And Alexa responded "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that".

Score: 3

My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her Mark Zuckerberg was listening... She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.

Score: 2

Jeff Bezos: Alexa, buy olive Aldo shoes. Alexa: Your purchase of, all of Whole Foods, is complete.

Score: 2

I asked Alexa if she worked for the CIA. She giggled

Score: 1

Alexa: Rise of The AI Guy: Alexa play Despacito
Alexa: no






Thats it, thats the joke!

Score: 0

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