What The Difference Between Jokes

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Funniest What The Difference Between Jokes

Ya know what the difference between broccoli and boogers is? I don't eat broccoli.

(my 9yr old daughter told me this joke and I loved it. thought I'd share it with you guys)

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Funny What The Difference Between Jokes
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[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'

Score: 94

What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face.

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What the difference between a ISIS member and a child? I don't know, I just fly the drones.

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What the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.

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What the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point.

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What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago.

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What the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer? One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize

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What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter.

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Do you know what the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is? Depth perception

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My wife asked me what the difference between finished and completed is I said

"Well you finished my life, and I completed yours"

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John Wayne vs. Johnnie Walker What the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker?

Johnnie Walker is still killing indians.

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I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning.

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What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano? One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".

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What the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies. There isn’t a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies.

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What the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste

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What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Score: 11

What the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches

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Do you know what the difference between pink and purple is? Your grip.

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What the difference between my dad and a police officer? I don't need to be black for my dad to beat me.

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Do you know what the difference between a hippo and zippo is? One is big and heavy, the others a little lighter

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Do you know what the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean is? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

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What the difference between carbon and my ex? She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.

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What the difference between a pizza and a tinder hookup? You slice up the pizza before you enjoy it, not after.

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What the difference between anime and hentai? The camera angle.

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What the difference between Catholic and Jewish women? Catholic women have real orgasms and fake jewelry!

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Somebody once asked me what the difference between ignorance and apathy was. I told them "I don't know and I don't care".

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What the difference between a feminist and a pencil? The pencil has a point

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What the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years your job still sucks.

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What the difference between a cat and an emo? The cat still has 8 other lives.

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What the difference between an owl, and a good archer. A good archer shoots and hits.

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My girlfriend asked me what the difference between a moon-roof and a sun-roof is. I told her it's night and day.

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What the difference between Tony Stark and a vegan Big Lebowski? One is Iron Man, and the other is iron deficient, man

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What the difference between gotham and the world in gotham the bat never killed anyone

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What the difference between a blonde and a Misquito? Misquito stops sucking when you slap it..

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You know what the difference between a million and a billion dollars is? About a billion dollars.

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What the difference between a tube and a dutch comedian? One's a hollow cylinder and the other's a silly hollander!

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What the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver.

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In USSR there were two popular newspaper... ..."The Truth" and "The News".

One visitor asked a local what the difference between them were.

"Well, there's no news in "The Truth", and no truth in "The News""

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New What The Difference Between Jokes

You know what the difference between my dad and my cancer is? My dad never came back.

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What the difference between a terrorist and an angry women? You can negotiate with the terrorist

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I have no idea what the difference between genuinly and generally is I'm generally confused

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What the difference between Russia and reality? Trump had connections with Russia!

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Do you want know what the difference between how it is To "Love" vs. To be "Loved" Anyone can give love, but you need to be loved to get the "d"

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What the difference between Amy Schumer and a whale? The whale won’t steal other people’s jokes.

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Do you know what the difference between an eightball of cocaine and a four year old child is? Eric Clapton wouldn't have let an eightball of coke fall out of a 53rd story window.

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What the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

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What the difference between a tube and a crazy Dutchman? Ones a cylinder and the others a silly Hollander!

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What the difference between a toddler and a bag of coke? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window #TearsInHeaven

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What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub? One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

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What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture.

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What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit? Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.

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What the difference between a black guy and a donut? One of them already had a hole before the cop saw it

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My friend asked what the difference between sin 135 and cos 135 I told him, "just change the sine."

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My Life and the pit of death What the difference between my life and the pit of death?

One's a dark, never ending shithole of hopelessness, immense pain and unbearable despair and the other is a well in Sparta.

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What the difference between a filthy bus station and a crab with implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean ......

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