What The Difference Between Jokes

Ya know what the difference between broccoli and boogers is? I don't eat broccoli.

(my 9yr old daughter told me this joke and I loved it. thought I'd share it with you guys)

Score: 246
Funny What The Difference Between Jokes
Score: 127

[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'

Score: 94

What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face.

Score: 89

What the difference between a ISIS member and a child? I don't know, I just fly the drones.

Score: 57

What the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.

Score: 52

What the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point.

Score: 45

What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago.

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What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter.

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I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning.

Score: 16

What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano? One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".

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What the difference between meat and fish? If you beat your fish, it dies.

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What the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste

Score: 13

What the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies. There isn’t a Lamborghini in my garage.

Score: 13

What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Score: 11

Do you know what the difference between pink and purple is? Your grip.

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What the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches

Score: 10

What the difference between my dad and a police officer? I don't need to be black for my dad to beat me.

Score: 10

Do you know what the difference between a hippo and zippo is? One is big and heavy, the others a little lighter

Score: 9

Do you know what the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean is? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Score: 8

What the difference between carbon and my ex? She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.

Score: 8

What the difference between a pizza and a tinder hookup? You slice up the pizza before you enjoy it, not after.

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What the difference between a feminist and a pencil? The pencil has a point

Score: 7

Somebody once asked me what the difference between ignorance and apathy was. I told them "I don't know and I don't care".

Score: 7

What the difference between anime and hentai? The camera angle.

Score: 7

What the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years your job still sucks.

Score: 6

What the difference between a cat and an emo? The cat still has 8 other lives.

Score: 6

What the difference between an owl, and a good archer. A good archer shoots and hits.

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What the difference between a blonde and a Misquito? Misquito stops sucking when you slap it..

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My girlfriend asked me what the difference between a moon-roof and a sun-roof is. I told her it's night and day.

Score: 5

What the difference between gotham and the world in gotham the bat never killed anyone

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Do you want know what the difference between how it is To "Love" vs. To be "Loved" Anyone can give love, but you need to be loved to get the "d"

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My Life and the pit of death What the difference between my life and the pit of death?

One's a dark, never ending shithole of hopelessness, immense pain and unbearable despair and the other is a well in Sparta.

Score: 1

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