Contents
Contents
A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.
The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her "First offender?"
She replies "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."
Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar.... I said, is that a fret?
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, "First offender?" She replied: "No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."
What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
For sale:
Guitar
Yoyo
Puppet
Kite
£5 for the lot
Genuine reason for sale
No strings attached
This guy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, “Is that a fret?”
My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said "maybe".
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, "First offender?"
Woman responds, "No, Your Honor. First a Gibson, then a Fender."
I just heard this one, so sorry if it's a repeat.
A woman is on trial...
...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks, "First offender?"
The lady replies, "No your honor. First a Gibson then a Fender."
Edit: Grammar.
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge: “First offender?”
Lady: “No first a Gibson, then a Fender.”
Guitar The only time you can break a g string while fingering a minor without getting arrested.
Why do pedophiles like to play guitar? Because it's completely ok to finger A minor
What a weird day! First I found a hat full of money. Then I was followed around by some guy with a guitar.
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. "First offender?" The judge asked. "No" said the bailiff, "First a Gibson, then a Fender."
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection
The judge says, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."
My old guitar teacher was arrested yesterday... He got caught fingering A Minor.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 3 in the morning.
Can you believe that, 3AM?!
Luckily for him, I was still up playing my electric guitar.
It's been a bit of a strange day...
First I found a hat full of money... Then I got
chased down the road by an angry man with a
guitar?
A man is on trial for beating his wife with his guitar collection The judge asks, "first offender"? The man replies, "No, first a Gibson; then a Fender."
I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?". I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."
My friends are like my guitar. I don't have a guitar...
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Because he was fingering minors.
What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter? Amanda Lynn
What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.
What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An algorithm.
Just had a guy threaten to attack me with the neck of a guitar I asked him, "Is that a fret?"
Someone said they'd attack me with the neck of their guitar... "Is that a fret?"
It's been a strange sort of day. First I found a hat full of money... and then I was chased by an angry weirdo with a guitar.
How do you get the guitar player off of your porch? Pay for the pizza.
So my guitar teacher got arrested.
He got arrested for fingering A minor.
After he plucked her G string...
Roy Moore is learning guitar chords and he's starting with A Minor
Why was the guitar player jailed? He fingered A minor
R Kelly decided to become a singer after a great performance in a high school talent show, but he later learned to play guitar for a different reason. He enjoys fingering minors.
I knew a guitar player who died... He was going to a gig when he crashed his pickup into the bridge and broke his neck. It appeared his pedal had stopped working.
Michael Jackson should have become a guitar player. He loved fingering minors.
What do you call a prejudiced 4 stringed guitar player? A racist bassist
Cara Delevinge is able to play the guitar behind her back Thats nothing guys. My ex was able to play me behind my back.
My friend said he's learning bass guitar... ...Something about this sounds fishy.
Bass guitar is so easy to learn...
...Even bass* players can do it.
*For bass players the joke is you’re dumb.
I just bought a chordless electric guitar Because I’m terrible and don’t know any.
Jimmy Hendrix could play the guitar with his teeth But Kurt Cobain could play the shotgun with his toe
Why did the kid's guitar teacher go to jail? Because he fingered A minor
How can you tell when there's a guitar player at your door? They dont know when to come in and they're using the wrong key.
Did you hear about the lightning that hit the guitar? It really struck a chord.
Which guitar string is the sexiest of them all? The G string.
What did the musician say to the bully who said he would beat him over the head with his own guitar ? “ you know I feel like that’s a fret.”
Why did the paedofile learn guitar? So they could finger A minor.
I was at an auction that tried to pass off a guitar as the one Prince wrote Purple Rain on. You could tell it was fake because Prince puts stars over his i's.
I broke my g string while fingering a sweet minor On my guitar
Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall.
A couple weeks ago I saw a sign on a telephone pole that said "learn guitar in 30 days." I can't wait. Just a few more days and I'll be able to play the guitar.