Guitar Jokes

A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection. The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"

The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her "First offender?"
She replies "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar.... I said, is that a fret?

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, "First offender?" She replied: "No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

For sale: Guitar

Yoyo

Puppet

Kite

£5 for the lot

Genuine reason for sale

No strings attached

This guy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, “Is that a fret?”

My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said "maybe".

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, "First offender?" Woman responds, "No, Your Honor. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

I just heard this one, so sorry if it's a repeat.

A woman is on trial... ...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks, "First offender?"

The lady replies, "No your honor. First a Gibson then a Fender."

Edit: Grammar.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge: “First offender?”

Lady: “No first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

Guitar The only time you can break a g string while fingering a minor without getting arrested.

Why do pedophiles like to play guitar? Because it's completely ok to finger A minor

What a weird day! First I found a hat full of money. Then I was followed around by some guy with a guitar.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. "First offender?" The judge asked. "No" said the bailiff, "First a Gibson, then a Fender."

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection The judge says, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

My old guitar teacher was arrested yesterday... He got caught fingering A Minor.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 3 in the morning. Can you believe that, 3AM?!
Luckily for him, I was still up playing my electric guitar.

It's been a bit of a strange day... First I found a hat full of money... Then I got
chased down the road by an angry man with a
guitar?

A man is on trial for beating his wife with his guitar collection The judge asks, "first offender"? The man replies, "No, first a Gibson; then a Fender."

I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, "You play an instrument?". I replied, "Yeah, I play a little guitar."

My friends are like my guitar. I don't have a guitar...

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Because he was fingering minors.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter? Amanda Lynn

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist? By selling your guitar.

What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An algorithm.

Just had a guy threaten to attack me with the neck of a guitar I asked him, "Is that a fret?"

Someone said they'd attack me with the neck of their guitar... "Is that a fret?"

It's been a strange sort of day. First I found a hat full of money... and then I was chased by an angry weirdo with a guitar.

So my guitar teacher got arrested. He got arrested for fingering A minor.


After he plucked her G string...

Roy Moore is learning guitar chords and he's starting with A Minor

Why was the guitar player jailed? He fingered A minor

R Kelly decided to become a singer after a great performance in a high school talent show, but he later learned to play guitar for a different reason. He enjoys fingering minors.

I knew a guitar player who died... He was going to a gig when he crashed his pickup into the bridge and broke his neck. It appeared his pedal had stopped working.

A guitarist goes to a bar He orders a gin and tonic

then pulls out his guitar and starts playing.

The bartender asks, "diet tonic?"

To which the guitarist replies:

"No, Pentatonic."

Michael Jackson should have become a guitar player. He loved fingering minors.

A girl asked me why I broke up with m ex I told her we didn't love the same things I loved hiking and playing guitar she loved another guy

What do you call a prejudiced 4 stringed guitar player? A racist bassist

Cara Delevinge is able to play the guitar behind her back Thats nothing guys. My ex was able to play me behind my back.