Pirate Jokes

A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh." The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."

Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"

I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Edit: I'm a pirate, so it works in first-person

What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea? Boo tea.

(Courtesy of my 6 year old)

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!

​

*Courtesy of a 7 year old in my class.*

What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,

We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir/Madam,

We are writing this letter to inform you that your account has been suspended for illegal downloading of copyrighted material

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.... So I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, Comcast.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear customer,

We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, we are writing to inform you that you have violated the copyright agreement..

Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty.

What a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

What is a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.

What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter? Dear Customer,



Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What' is a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...

What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR

How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced? A buccaneer :D

What's a pirate's greatest fear on the first date? A sunken chest with no booty.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? You would think it be R, but tis' the C they love.

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Ay matey.

What's a pirate's favorite explosive? M80

A pirate goes to the doctor A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them.
"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."
The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C!



[ I'm^so^sorry ]

A pirate's wife asks him what body part he'd be most okay with losing The pirate thinks and replies, "my spine!"

"Why?" says his wife, a little surprised

"Because it's holding me back!"

What's a pirate's favorite letter? **ARRRR**


*NO!* His first love be the C.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.
(Saying it out loud might help)

What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? Names

I convinced my fellow pirate to try heroin. Now he's hooked.

What are Pirate clothes made of? Yarrrrrn.

My ex girlfriend was like a pirate's quest... ...she had a sunken chest and always kept me searching for the booty.

What do you call a philosophical pirate Arrristotle

When I was younger I wanted to become a pirate! Now I am a photographer, because every pirate has to own a Canon.

A man was walking alone on a beach when he came across a pirate. The pirate asked him “where are your buccaneers matey?”. So the man replied: “Under my buccan hat”

A blond, a rabbi, a schoolkid, a lawyer, a prostitute, the pope, a pirate and George Bush walk into a bar... The bartender says:

Is this a joke?

What does a baby pirate wear? A diap-arrrrrrrr.

*Courtesy of my 4year old*

A pirate is having lunch with Guns n Roses guitarist Slash Slash tells a story that the pirate obviously knows is fake and the pirate says “Arrr Slash, quit your bullshit”