When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Batman doesn't want to get shot.
My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN
What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.
What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.
Batman walks into a room which alfred is ìn, late at night.
"Alfred could you fill up the bathtub please" batman said after entering the room.
Alfred replied with, "what's a htub sir?"
What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bail.
A buddy said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” -
I said, “That’s Superman.”
He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the Bat Room.
[an old classic]
What's it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale
What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can walk the streets without Robin.
You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
What's the difference between batman and Blackman?
Batman can go to the store without robin
Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)
Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'
Why so serious?
A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.
I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale
Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis
What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.
What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Add a word to ruin a movie:
- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.
Robin was having problems starting the Batmobile
And then he went to Batman "The Batmobile won't start!"
"Have you checked the battery?"
"What's an Ery?"
What's it called when Batman skips out on Church? Christian Bale
How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe? Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.
What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bail
What's it called when Batman ditches church? Christian bail.
Add a word to ruin a movie:
**- Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam.**
Your Turn :)
What is the difference between batman and a black guy? Batman can walk into a store without Robin
What's a police officers favorite console?
Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U.
Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D
What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice
What happens when batman takes viagra? The dark knight rises
I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......
This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey... When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."
What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.
Batman told me he was skipping church this week. Classic Christian Bale
What do you call a Batman that skips church on Sunday Christian Bail
What do you call a Batman that skips church? Christian Bale.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…” “Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
Why doesn’t Batman have super vision? Because his parents died
What’s the reason batman has a gap in his mask So that cops know he's white
How do you know Batman is a Trump supporter? (Original) Look at how he puts on his mask.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The dark night rises.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Get in the car”
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham
Batman is the Covid Vigilante
a) He covers his entire body except his mouth and nostrils
b) He’s a bat
He may be a superspreader.
When i was little , i wanted to be Batman Now I'm just Fat man.
Why did Batman never take down a Chinese mastermind? He would have ate him up.
One time I went to Blockbusters and asked if I could rent Batman Forever... The man at the counter said, “NO! You can only rent it for the week”!
What do you get when Batman leaves church early? Christian BAIL
Why does Batman wear dark colors?
Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.
Why does Robin wear bright colours?
Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.
Rubber bullets are like Batman They won't kill you, but you'll probably be disfigured for life after encountering one.
Why were Batman and Robin not allowed to step in when the guy robbed the shop? Their masks didn't cover mouth and nose.
How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy? Ointment.
Why did Batman cross the road? Find out next week. Same Bat time. Same Bat channel.
Batman & Robin
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car ?
Get in the car
Batman walks into a bar and Mr.Freeze asks if he could get him a drink. "No. Just ice"
The Joker finally captured Batman
The Joker: Say something funny, or die!
Batman: No you.
The Joker: I... you... how... *laughs hysterically*
Batman: That wasn't funny.
The Joker: *commits suicide*
What Shampoo does Batman always use? Conditioner Gordon
What do you call it when Batman misses church? Christian Bale!
My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression...
He shouted, "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!" and I said, "That's Superman..."
"Thanks, man, " he replied, "I've been practising it a lot."
If you are what you eat Then Batman is real
Wonder Woman walks in on Batman and Robin's training session
Batman asks "Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?"
Wonder Woman shouts "BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!"
Batman has designed a tuxedo version of his crime fighting costume so he can attend formal occasions. It's a class action suit.
If Batman and Superman had a baby, what would it be? Adopted
Batman and Robin siting in a tree ... ... Looking nonchalant OMG!
Batman has retired and now runs a small shoe repair shop. They call him the Dark Knight of the Sole.
If you are what you eat Someone in China is batman
When Catwoman visits Batman at Wayne manor,
...does she ask to use the batbox?
Sorry for the low humor, my family today gave me "the look" when I thought to ask them. :)
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says "No swimming without supervision."
What happened to Batman and Robin when they got run over by a steamroller? They became Flatman and Ribbon.
People often use fiction as a means of escape. To experience the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems they do. For example whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.
If batman had a stutter
"Who are you?"
"I am B-B-Batman
How long does it take Batman to change a lightbulb? Depends. How much prep time does he get?
Batman is having a good month Supercriminals: "Okay! I'll go quietly! Just don't cough on me!"
What did Batman show the Joker when he dropped his batpants?
If Batman had a similar origin story to Spider-Man He'd be widely known now as a bad man; a virulante.
Chadwick Boseman walks into a bar. The batman asks him to do the Wakanda X. Chadwick Boseman leaves the bar.
Batman would be low tier in smash bros He never kills
Why is Batman a horrible bartender? He only serves just ice.
What do you call it when batman leaves church? a Christian Bale
Batman was in Time Square, and he kept getting offered mixtapes he didn't want
All he could say was
"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah"
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in."
Batman and Joker meer in a bar
Joker: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"
Batman: "Yeah sure."
Joker: "Parental love."
Batman: "I didn't get that."
Joker: "I know right."
What does Batman put in his scotch? Justice.
Whenever Batman sees a women Dark Knight rises.
What happens when Batman is fighting Harley Quinn? The dark knight rises.
What do you call Batman the morning after a big fight? Bruised Wayne
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? “Please get in the batmobile”
Batman was my tour guide in Antarctica.
“What can we even find around here?”
How does batman deliver villains to the gotham police? right off the bat
A man walks into a Blockbuster somewhere in the midwest.
“Hello sir I would like to rent Batman Forever”
“Impossible sir you have to return it on Monday”
“What about The Day After Tomorrow?”
“That’s Sunday sir”
What do you call it when Batman ditches church early? Christian Bale.
Why is Batman so good at hitting home runs? He has a batting cage.
What do you call Batman when he is injured? Bruised Wayne
Batman hit me in the head with a vase and said “t’pau” and I said “don’t you mean kappow” and he said “No, I’ve got China in my hand”
What do you call Batman when he doesn't go to church on Sunday? Christian Bale.
What if Batman skipped the Church? Christian Bale.
What do you call Batman and Robin after the get run over by a steam roller? Flatman and Ribbon.