Contents
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Batman Jokes
When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot.
My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN
Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery Robin: What's a tery
One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..." It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.
What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.
What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.
Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman.
What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin
ROBIN: the batmobile won’t start
BATMAN: check the battery
ROBIN: what’s a tery
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bail.
What follows 16 Sodium atoms into a bar? Batman.
A buddy said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” -
I said, “That’s Superman.”
He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the Bat Room.
[an old classic]
Batman
Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."
"Go on then" the second one says.
"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"
The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"
"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."
Batman: The Batmobile isn't starting
Robin: Check the battery
Batman: What's a tery?
What’s the toughest part about being Batman? Knowing that you’ll never make your parents proud.
What's it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale
What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can walk the streets without Robin.
A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.
You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
What's the difference between batman and Blackman?
Batman can go to the store without robin
Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)
Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'
Why so serious?
A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.
I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale
Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis
What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.
Joker: "Hey Bats, Wanna hear a joke?"
Batman: "Sure"
Joker: "Parental Love"
Batman: "I don't get it"
Joker: "Exactly."
What do you call a Batman that skips church? Christian Bale.
What do you call Batman running out of a church? Christian Bale
What do you call Batman the morning after a big fight? Bruised Wayne
How do the ladies get Batman to come?
Ask Lt. Gordon to turn on the bat-signal.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
What does Batman take with his alcohol? Just ice
Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood
What does batman put in his water? Just ice.
When batman doesn't use his utility belt Its just a waist of equipment