Batman Jokes

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery Robin: What's a tery

One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..." It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.

What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.

What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.

Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman.

What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin

ROBIN: the batmobile won’t start BATMAN: check the battery
ROBIN: what’s a tery

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bail.

What follows 16 Sodium atoms into a bar? Batman.

A buddy said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” - I said, “That’s Superman.”


He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room.

[an old classic]

Batman Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."

"Go on then" the second one says.

"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"

The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"

"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Batman: The Batmobile isn't starting Robin: Check the battery

Batman: What's a tery?

What’s the toughest part about being Batman? Knowing that you’ll never make your parents proud.

What's it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can walk the streets without Robin.

A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.

What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin


Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'

Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale

Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.

Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin

Why couldn't the Joker see where Batman was? Cause it was a dark knight

What did the Pope call Batman when he caught him leaving church early? Christian Bale

How do they communcate in prison? Cell phones...

--Batman

For interviews I was adviced to dress for the job I want, and not for the job I have... So I dressed up like Batman.

Where did the Joker prank Batman? Got 'Em City.

What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

Why couldn't Robin call Batman? Because he had bat signal.

What does Batman put in his scotch? Justice.

Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign Got Ham?