Batman Jokes

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Funniest Batman Jokes

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.

Score: 20250

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Score: 17107

My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Score: 14329

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

Score: 2231

Robin: The batmobile won't start. Batman: Check the battery Robin: What's a tery

Score: 1133

One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats..." It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.

Score: 1055
Funny Batman Jokes
Score: 869

What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.

Score: 839

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar… followed by Batman.

Score: 821

What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.

Score: 759

Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman.

Score: 642

What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin

Score: 402

ROBIN: the batmobile won’t start BATMAN: check the battery
ROBIN: what’s a tery

Score: 301

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bail.

Score: 286

What follows 16 Sodium atoms into a bar? Batman.

Score: 261

A buddy said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” - I said, “That’s Superman.”


He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Score: 243

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room.

[an old classic]

Score: 210

Batman Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."

"Go on then" the second one says.

"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"

The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"

"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."

Score: 204

Batman: The Batmobile isn't starting Robin: Check the battery

Batman: What's a tery?

Score: 193

What’s the toughest part about being Batman? Knowing that you’ll never make your parents proud.

Score: 193

What's it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale

Score: 187

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can walk the streets without Robin.

Score: 179

A woman asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup. I told her it depends on whether or not she was trying to kill Batman.

Score: 167

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.

Score: 154

What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin


Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

Score: 148

Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'

Score: 137

Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

Score: 130

I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale

Score: 128

Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

Score: 121

What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.

Score: 119

Why are batman and black man different? Bat man can go a whole night without robin

Score: 13

Why couldn't the Joker see where Batman was? Cause it was a dark knight

Score: 5

What did the Pope call Batman when he caught him leaving church early? Christian Bale

Score: 5

How do they communcate in prison? Cell phones...

--Batman

Score: 4

For interviews I was adviced to dress for the job I want, and not for the job I have... So I dressed up like Batman.

Score: 3

Where did the Joker prank Batman? Got 'Em City.

Score: 3

What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.

He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.

Also his parents are dead.

Score: 2

Why couldn't Robin call Batman? Because he had bat signal.

Score: 2

What does Batman put in his scotch? Justice.

Score: 2

Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign Got Ham?

Score: 2

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New Batman Jokes

Why did Batman never take down a Chinese mastermind? He would have ate him up.

Score: 1

Why were Batman and Robin not allowed to step in when the guy robbed the shop? Their masks didn't cover mouth and nose.

Score: 0

If batman had a stutter "Who are you?"

"I am B-B-Batman

Score: 1

Batmans unexpected Batman: presses center console on belt
Everyone: what cant his belt do
The guy watching Batman: He didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!

Score: 1

What did Batman show the Joker when he dropped his batpants? Deez batnutz.

GOTHAM!

Score: 0

If Batman had a similar origin story to Spider-Man He'd be widely known now as a bad man; a virulante.

Score: 0

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in."

Score: 0

A retired Pakistani cricketer decided to become Batman Now he's known as Wasim Arkham.

Score: 1

What do you call a Jamaican BatMan? Batmon.

Score: 1

Batman has the Batcave. Superman has his Fortress of Solitude. What is Wonder Woman's base called? The Kitchen.

Score: 1

The parents who named their child Batman. \[removed\]

Score: 1

what's the difference between Bat Man and a black guy? what's the difference between batman and a black guy?

Bat Man can walk into a store without Robin'!

Score: 1

What did batman say to the joker when he finally caught him? Gotham

Score: 1

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