Batman Jokes

Contents

Funniest Batman Jokes

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it. That's Arkham's Razor.

Score: 20250

Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.


Batman doesn't want to get shot.

Score: 17107

My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I said, “That’s Superman.” He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Score: 14329

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

Score: 2231
Funny Batman Jokes
Score: 869

What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.

Score: 839

What does Batman put in his beverages? Just ice.

Score: 759

Batman walks into a room which alfred is ìn, late at night. "Alfred could you fill up the bathtub please" batman said after entering the room.
Alfred replied with, "what's a htub sir?"

Score: 402

What's the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go inside a store without Robin

Score: 402

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bail.

Score: 286

A buddy said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” - I said, “That’s Superman.”


He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Score: 243

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave? He had to go to the Bat Room.

[an old classic]

Score: 210

What's it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale

Score: 187

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can walk the streets without Robin.

Score: 179

You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.

Score: 154

What's the difference between batman and Blackman? Batman can go to the store without robin


Edit: glad you'll liked it :-)

Score: 148

Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'

Score: 137

Why so serious? A lady asked me if I thought she was wearing to much makeup.
I told her it depends ...
on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

Score: 130

I saw Batman leaving Church early on Easter It was the first time I had seen a Christian Bale

Score: 128

Why does Batman wear a mask? Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

Score: 121

What does Batman put in his tea? Just ice.

Score: 119

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Score: 111

What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Score: 109

Add a word to ruin a movie: - Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.

Score: 97

Robin was having problems starting the Batmobile And then he went to Batman "The Batmobile won't start!"

"Have you checked the battery?"

"What's an Ery?"

Score: 95

What's it called when Batman skips out on Church? Christian Bale

Score: 92

How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe? Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner.

Score: 88

What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bail

Score: 87

What's it called when Batman ditches church? Christian bail.

Score: 86

Add a word to ruin a movie: **- Batman Begins College - The Longest Yard Sale - Charlottes Web Cam.**

​

Your Turn :)

Score: 85

What is the difference between batman and a black guy? Batman can walk into a store without Robin

Score: 81

What's a police officers favorite console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U.

Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy. :D

Score: 80

What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice

Score: 78

What happens when batman takes viagra? The dark knight rises

Score: 73

I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......

Score: 71

This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey... When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."

Score: 67

What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.

Score: 62

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Score: 62

Batman told me he was skipping church this week. Classic Christian Bale

Score: 60

What do you call a Batman that skips church on Sunday Christian Bail

Score: 53

What do you call a Batman that skips church? Christian Bale.

Score: 49

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New Batman Jokes

My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…” “Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”

Score: 5

Why doesn’t Batman have super vision? Because his parents died

Score: 48

What’s the reason batman has a gap in his mask So that cops know he's white

Score: 5

How do you know Batman is a Trump supporter? (Original) Look at how he puts on his mask.

Score: 1

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The dark night rises.

Score: 12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Get in the car”

Score: 35

Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham

Score: 5

Batman is the Covid Vigilante Given:
a) He covers his entire body except his mouth and nostrils
b) He’s a bat

Therefore:
He may be a superspreader.

Score: 2

When i was little , i wanted to be Batman Now I'm just Fat man.

Score: 1

Why did Batman never take down a Chinese mastermind? He would have ate him up.

Score: 1

One time I went to Blockbusters and asked if I could rent Batman Forever... The man at the counter said, “NO! You can only rent it for the week”!

Score: 3

What do you get when Batman leaves church early? Christian BAIL

Score: 1

Why does Batman wear dark colors? Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.

Why does Robin wear bright colours?

Because Batman doesnt want to get shot.

Score: 11

Rubber bullets are like Batman They won't kill you, but you'll probably be disfigured for life after encountering one.

Score: 5

Why were Batman and Robin not allowed to step in when the guy robbed the shop? Their masks didn't cover mouth and nose.

Score: 1

How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy? Ointment.

Score: 2

Why did Batman cross the road? Find out next week. Same Bat time. Same Bat channel.

Score: 1

Batman & Robin What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car ?

Get in the car

Score: 2

Batman walks into a bar and Mr.Freeze asks if he could get him a drink. "No. Just ice"

Score: 1

The Joker finally captured Batman The Joker: Say something funny, or die!

Batman: No you.

The Joker: I... you... how... *laughs hysterically*

Batman: That wasn't funny.

The Joker: *commits suicide*

Score: 1

What Shampoo does Batman always use? Conditioner Gordon

Score: 10

What do you call it when Batman misses church? Christian Bale!

Score: 5

My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression... He shouted, "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!" and I said, "That's Superman..."

"Thanks, man, " he replied, "I've been practising it a lot."

Score: 8

If you are what you eat Then Batman is real

Score: 5

Wonder Woman walks in on Batman and Robin's training session Batman asks "Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?"

Wonder Woman shouts "BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!"

Score: 4

Batman has designed a tuxedo version of his crime fighting costume so he can attend formal occasions. It's a class action suit.

Score: 3

If Batman and Superman had a baby, what would it be? Adopted

Score: 8

Batman and Robin siting in a tree ... ... Looking nonchalant OMG!

Score: 2

Batman has retired and now runs a small shoe repair shop. They call him the Dark Knight of the Sole.

Score: 1

If you are what you eat Someone in China is batman

Score: 2

When Catwoman visits Batman at Wayne manor, ...does she ask to use the batbox?

Sorry for the low humor, my family today gave me "the look" when I thought to ask them. :)

Score: 1

Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says "No swimming without supervision."

Score: 44

What happened to Batman and Robin when they got run over by a steamroller? They became Flatman and Ribbon.

Score: 4

People often use fiction as a means of escape. To experience the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems they do. For example whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

Score: 6

If batman had a stutter "Who are you?"

"I am B-B-Batman

Score: 1

How long does it take Batman to change a lightbulb? Depends. How much prep time does he get?

Score: 4

Batman is having a good month Supercriminals: "Okay! I'll go quietly! Just don't cough on me!"

Score: 3

What did Batman show the Joker when he dropped his batpants? Deez batnutz.

GOTHAM!

Score: 2

If Batman had a similar origin story to Spider-Man He'd be widely known now as a bad man; a virulante.

Score: 1

Chadwick Boseman walks into a bar. The batman asks him to do the Wakanda X. Chadwick Boseman leaves the bar.

Score: 1

Batman would be low tier in smash bros He never kills

Score: 1

Why is Batman a horrible bartender? He only serves just ice.

Score: 1

What do you call it when batman leaves church? a Christian Bale

Score: 1

Batman was in Time Square, and he kept getting offered mixtapes he didn't want All he could say was

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah"

Score: 2

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in."

Score: 3

Batman and Joker meer in a bar Joker: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

Batman: "Yeah sure."

Joker: "Parental love."

Batman: "I didn't get that."

Joker: "I know right."

Score: 12

What does Batman put in his scotch? Justice.

Score: 2

Whenever Batman sees a women Dark Knight rises.

Score: 4

What happens when Batman is fighting Harley Quinn? The dark knight rises.

Score: 9

What do you call Batman the morning after a big fight? Bruised Wayne

Score: 34

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? “Please get in the batmobile”

Score: 2

Batman was my tour guide in Antarctica. “What can we even find around here?”

“Justice.”

Score: 4

How does batman deliver villains to the gotham police? right off the bat

Score: 1

A man walks into a Blockbuster somewhere in the midwest. “Hello sir I would like to rent Batman Forever”

“Impossible sir you have to return it on Monday”

“What about The Day After Tomorrow?”

“That’s Sunday sir”

Score: 4

What do you call it when Batman ditches church early? Christian Bale.

Score: 3

Why is Batman so good at hitting home runs? He has a batting cage.

Score: 6

What do you call Batman when he is injured? Bruised Wayne

Score: 5

Batman hit me in the head with a vase and said “t’pau” and I said “don’t you mean kappow” and he said “No, I’ve got China in my hand”

Score: 1

What do you call Batman when he doesn't go to church on Sunday? Christian Bale.

Score: 4

What if Batman skipped the Church? Christian Bale.

Score: 3

What do you call Batman and Robin after the get run over by a steam roller? Flatman and Ribbon.

Score: 8

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