1. To dance using predominantly your bum, usually sexually.
2. Where people in Yorkshire go Monday to Friday
Never understood the point of black friday Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month
My bank was worried My bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since last friday
I took my Biology exam last Friday I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
I always give 100% at work
14% on Monday
30% on Tuesday
30% on Wednesday
24% on Thursday
2% on Friday
Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12... ....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
Terrible news. The guy who created AMC cinema's has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2:30, 5:20 and 7:45.
Do you guys want to hear about my Friday night? I had quite an experience at home by myself. At one point I even picked my coat up from the floor. It was off the hook.
A man asks his wife on a Friday evening...
Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend?
Wife: Sure, why not?
Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!
I went out drinking last Friday and took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too. 50% off
Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week? Because Monday through Friday are weekdays.
Your essays should be like a girls skirt Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting and on the desk by Friday midnight.
1: A dance using predominantly your bum, usually sexually
2: A place Newfoundlanders go, usually 9-5, Monday - Friday
TIL - as of 2019, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years This is probably because Halloween is October 31st
On Friday I’m hosting a support group for men who can’t ejaculate. Let me know if you can’t come!
What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa? Prom
What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list
Craving for nuts Last Friday I had a craving for nuts, so I spent the whole day with my wife and her mother.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know, and I don't care.
Happy Friday all. Pretty sure it's time for a beer.
Just as there is a balance of good and evil....
There's a Friday for every Monday.
Have a great week :)
So I went to a club on friday night... So I went to the club near my road and the DJ started playing Jump Around so I started jumping around. Next the DJ played the Twist, so natuarally, I did the twist. Then the DJ played come on Eileene, I got kicked out.
Monday Next Monday I'm planning Tuesday at my friend's house. Who knows we might get Thursday and buy some beers. Friday and Saturday we'll just chill and enjoy our ice cream Sunday.
Margarette is living in a care home...
She's worked all her life and now is in care.
She's only eating one meal a day.
Today is Friday and her meal is late, she asks about her meal.
Margarette got covid19 and died.
I was partying with some whales Friday night. The Coast Guard gave me a Cetacean for breaching the peace.
The Kiss of Judas - It’s Good Friday today. There’s nothing Good about this day... It’s just a reminder of how Judas Iscariot broke the rules of Social distancing
I heard Walmart stores were so busy on Friday that they opened a second register! Sounds like a picnic compared to O'hare Airport yesterday!
You've heard of Friday the 13th...
But what about the next day?
Pi Day the 14th: Irrational Fear
Today is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the United States? Black Friday
Humanity is at a point where it no longer cares if it lives or dies. Just as long as it gets that Black Friday TV.
What do a store on Black Friday and a cocaine addict have in common? They both have long lines
Alleged record holder has managed to stay underwater holding his breath for 27 minutes His funeral is on friday
In an effort to avoid trouble on Friday the 13th, I stayed at home. And ended up breaking a mirror.
True story Last Friday I met at party one girl and it seemed she likes me. First time somebody likes me. We go out for fresh air and she asked me If I want to buy insurence...... FML, Im Virgin forevet
In the spirit of Easter I’ve come up with the perfect idea for a date Go for our last supper of the week on Thursday, nail each other all day Friday so that we can’t walk on Saturday until we rise again on Sunday
Always give 100% at work
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday
It's Friday night, so my wife and I drank wine and talked politics.
We had a 20 minute argument over brands of toilet paper.
I’ll give 1M to whoever guess right A man rides into town on Friday and leaves 3 days later on Friday. How can that be?
What do you get when you cross a professional basketball player with a geographer? The horses name was friday
I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.
You know the difference between a woman attending Sunday morning mass and a woman taking a Friday night bath? One has hope in her soul; the other has soap in her hole.
Two middle aged women are in Boston's fish market on Friday.
"I come here every Friday to get scrod!"
"I do too, but I didn't know it has a past tense."