Romantic Jokes

Contents

Funniest Romantic Jokes

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love... But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...

Score: 99
Funny Romantic Jokes
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Never get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Score: 84

Don’t ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.

Score: 69

What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Score: 53

I'm reading a romantic novel in Braille So touching...

Score: 51

Why is 2 such a romantic number? Because it's <3

Score: 37

I want a girl who likes long romantic walks Because I don't have a car or money

Score: 36

The Princess Bride is bull When Wesley spends five years building up an immunity to iocane powder, it's romantic and we should idolize him.

But when I do it with rum, I'm an "alcoholic who needs to pay his goddamn child support."

Score: 35

What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!

Score: 24

I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car.

Score: 18

My life is like a romantic comedy... except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.

Score: 16

What's more romantic than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.

Score: 13

Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you

Score: 12

What was the romantic with a foot fetish looking for? a sole mate

Score: 10

It was really romantic to see an 85 year old man and 77 year old woman who were a couple for 65 years. It was horrifying when I did the math.

Score: 10

My wife left me because she believes I live in constant denial Tonight we'll have a romantic dinner celebrating our 5th year anniversary

Score: 10

Why can't Donald Trump and Melania have a romantic getaway in Mexico? He always wants to take the kids.

Score: 9

What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship? Subduction!

Score: 9

After a romantic dinner, a couple cuddled up for some discussion Husband: Am I the only one you've been with?
Wife: Yeah, the rest were eight or nine

Score: 7

When on a first date you should always carve your initials together on something. It's the most romantic way to show them you have a knife.

Score: 7

Stalking is when two people are going for a romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it

Score: 7

Etiquette rule #381: When on a romantic date with a lady, you feel the need to use the bathroom, excuse yourself by saying: Excuse me, I need to go shake hands with a dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to later tonight.

Score: 7

An Inkling kept making romantic advances towards me. I guess she was trying to woomy.

Score: 7

I like a girl who loves romantic long walks.... because I don't have a car or money.

Score: 6

Having some romantic time with yo girl when she asks you to go deeper But you run out of poems.

Score: 6

want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.

Score: 6

My girlfriend said I don't know how to be romantic So I yelled "DEUS VULT!" and invaded Gaul. Proved her wrong

Score: 5

One time, I carried out an entire conversation with a man by speaking to him in Spanish while he spoke to me in Italian It was the most romantic conversation I've ever had

Score: 5

A Hot Romance While watching a romantic movie, my wife leans over and whispers in my ear "I want you to make me sweaty and wet." So I shut off the fan.

Score: 5

Kiss in the neck can be a sweet, romantic gesture not sure why everybody in the bus is freaking out

Score: 5

romantic comedy about middle aged people playing tennis 40-love

Score: 5

"I'm gonna steal her heart.." Is not that romantic when you say it during a surgery.

Score: 5

Husband and wife are having a romantic dinner Wife: I love you so much! I can't live without you!
Husband: Is that you or the wine talking?
Wife: It's me... talking to the wine.

Score: 5

Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off.

Score: 4

Some people say 69 is gross... I call it a romantic dinner for two.

Score: 4

In a world controlled by AI and machines, two satellites decide to get married... ...Well the wedding wasn't too romantic but that reception was amazing!

Score: 4

John: My friend Charlie has stolen my girlfriend's number from my mobile 2 days ago. Harry: What happened then?

John: Charlie Has been sending romantic texts to his own sister since last 2 days.

Score: 3

Roses are red, Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow

I bet you were expecting something romantic but no, this us just gardening facts

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Tom cruise is going to star in a romantic movie about trying to stay aroused long enough to get his wife pregnant. It's called 'emission impossible'

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Wherever you are, if you need a romantic evening, call 180-LONG. It's the International Date Line.

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New Romantic Jokes

What's so romantic about taxing poor farmers... ... that they had to write that song Levy on Hoes?

Score: 2

I was thinking about watching a romantic movie with my girlfriend tonight, can anybody suggest me a good girlfriend? :)

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Pucker up is a old romantic saying. But theres nothing romantic about your doctors saying it when your bent over...


Even worse if his pants are down.

Score: 1

I met my wife at a night club... - Wow! How romantic!

- Oh, can't be more romantic than that! I thought she was home with kids sleeping.

Score: 1

When this crisis is over and you had to choose between a night out drinking with your mates or a romantic dinner with your wife.. Which pub will you be drinking in ?

Score: 3

Why can’t the amputee develop romantic feelings for someone? Because he couldn’t catch feels.

Score: 1

Superbowl romantic poetry Get another vodka dont forget the lime
Maybe we can fool around during halftime.

Score: 1

Why was Steve Easterbrook pushed out of a job? People caught him clowning around.



>!For those of you who don’t know, Steve Easterbrook was the McDonald’s CEO until people caught him having a romantic relationship with a subordinate.!<

Score: 2

Did you hear about the pirate who wrote a romantic song about his rowboat? “Love me tender.”

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They call me a hopeless romantic Because I’ll never find love

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Stalking is just taking long romantic walks with the one you love... But only one of you knows about it.

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I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend back to where we first met for our anniversary. So I took her back to daycare.

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Two Alabamans decide to end their romantic relationship. One says to the other, "Let's just be siblings."

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Recently, I've been getting worried about the number of posts I've seen about people's romantic lives with their SO... I'm glad to say I now know 'SO' does not mean 'Superior Officer'.

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I asked the librarian if they had any books about romantic proposals. She said yes.



(oc)

Score: 1

What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening.

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What did the Romantic Hurricane say to the sheep covered volcano? Eye Lava Ewe

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Playing bidge is a bit like being in a romantic relationship You either need a very good partner, or a very good hand.

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Got the check after a nice romantic dinner And my date **expects** me to pay the bill just because we're married

Score: 2

I've recently written a romantic comedy It's about a guy and a girl - *classic.*

Initially, they hate each other - *classic.*

But they end up in bed together - *classic!*

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It's called: "The Rapist"

Score: 2

Girlfriend says I am not romantic enough. So, now I have 2 girlfriends.

Score: 2

Get something romantic today for that special person in your life! And uh. Don't forget to get something for your spouse too.

Score: 1

A MAN GOES INTO THE POSTCARD SHOP Guy goes into the shop, and asks the attendant:

"Do you have those postcards that say "For the only true love of my life?"

"Of course sir", she answers with a smile. What a romantic guy!

"Great. Give me 9, please!"

Score: 2

I gave my girlfriend a last kiss goodbye I think its romantic but it made her funeral really awkward.

Score: 2

Did you hear the one about the two romantic light bulbs? They went out!

That got dark quick.

Score: 2

After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them... We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...

I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.

Credit - Henny Youngman

Score: 3

I came out to my girlfriend as a hetroromantic asexual. She said I could work on the romantic part.

Score: 2

Im living a romantic comedy Everyone is finding true love while my love life itself is a joke

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Are you a romantic man? Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap.

So she can immediately start doing the dishes.

Score: 3

LPT - While stargazing on a romantic evening, never say this to your wife: Uranus is a gas giant.

Score: 1

Why is the eel considered the most romantic animal? Because its a moray.

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What did Mr. Potato Head give Mrs. Potato Head on their romantic night out? A good fingerling.

Score: 1

Being romantic as an awkward mathematician is hard... I called my girlfriend 1/cos(c) to try and compliment her but I don't think she caught my drift. Can't blame her though, that's a triggy one.

Score: 2

Romantic Gesture My girlfriend and I walked by an Indian restaurant today, she remarked how delicious it smelled. Feeling like doting on her I asked if she wanted a treat. She said yes, so I walked her by it again.

Score: 1

I'm interested in this girl who only dates Catholic guys... ... I guess you could call me a pope-less romantic

Score: 2

Have I told you lately... ...is the least romantic line a toll-collector ever said to his girlfriend.

Score: 2

Recently, a bunch of people have developed a fetish for letting their romantic partner intentionally spike their drink with roofies. They call it Cos-play.

Score: 2

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough? You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

Score: 2

Candlelight is romantic until... Candlelight is romantic until she realizes your electricity has been shut off.

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A long, romantic kiss... and then - She: I think I swallowed your gum.

He: No, I just cleared my throat.

Score: 2

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together... but only one of them knows about it.

Score: 3

An owl decided to make romantic advances towards another owl. To wit, to woo.

Score: 2

Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other.

"Honeydew you love me?" asked the first.

"Yes," replied the second, "but we cantaloupe."

Score: 2

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