Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an "alternative romantic."
Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love... But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...
Never get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
Don’t ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.
What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it
I want a girl who likes long romantic walks Because I don't have a car or money
What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!
My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment
I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car.
My life is like a romantic comedy... except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.
What's more romantic than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.
Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie
After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you
What was the romantic with a foot fetish looking for? a sole mate
My wife left me because she believes I live in constant denial Tonight we'll have a romantic dinner celebrating our 5th year anniversary
It was really romantic to see an 85 year old man and 77 year old woman who were a couple for 65 years. It was horrifying when I did the math.
What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship? Subduction!
Why can't Donald Trump and Melania have a romantic getaway in Mexico? He always wants to take the kids.
When a Prince Kisses a Sleeping Princess, it's "Romantic"... ...but when I give a shoulder rub to the lady sleeping in front of me on the bus, I'm "banned from riding the bus"
Etiquette rule #381: When on a romantic date with a lady, you feel the need to use the bathroom, excuse yourself by saying: Excuse me, I need to go shake hands with a dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to later tonight.
Stalking is when two people are going for a romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it
An Inkling kept making romantic advances towards me. I guess she was trying to woomy.
My girlfriend said I should be more Romantic... She didn't like my toga but the orgy was great!
want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.
Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere.
Having some romantic time with yo girl when she asks you to go deeper But you run out of poems.
Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn't think so.
Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head. -- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.
A Hot Romance While watching a romantic movie, my wife leans over and whispers in my ear "I want you to make me sweaty and wet." So I shut off the fan.
romantic comedy about middle aged people playing tennis 40-love
My girlfriend said I don't know how to be romantic So I yelled "DEUS VULT!" and invaded Gaul. Proved her wrong
What do you call an affectionate vagrant? A homeless romantic.
I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend back to where we first met for our anniversary. So I took her back to daycare.
After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them...
We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...
I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.
Credit - Henny Youngman
Im living a romantic comedy Everyone is finding true love while my love life itself is a joke
A MAN GOES INTO THE POSTCARD SHOP
Guy goes into the shop, and asks the attendant:
"Do you have those postcards that say "For the only true love of my life?"
"Of course sir", she answers with a smile. What a romantic guy!
"Great. Give me 9, please!"
I've recently written a romantic comedy
It's about a guy and a girl - *classic.*
Initially, they hate each other - *classic.*
But they end up in bed together - *classic!*
It's called: "The Rapist"
Recently, I've been getting worried about the number of posts I've seen about people's romantic lives with their SO... I'm glad to say I now know 'SO' does not mean 'Superior Officer'.
Why is the eel considered the most romantic animal? Because its a moray.
I came out to my girlfriend as a hetroromantic asexual. She said I could work on the romantic part.
Why can’t the amputee develop romantic feelings for someone? Because he couldn’t catch feels.
Superbowl romantic poetry
Get another vodka dont forget the lime
Maybe we can fool around during halftime.
Did you hear the one about the two romantic light bulbs?
They went out!
That got dark quick.
LPT - While stargazing on a romantic evening, never say this to your wife: Uranus is a gas giant.
What did Mr. Potato Head give Mrs. Potato Head on their romantic night out? A good fingerling.