Relationship Jokes

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Funniest Relationship Jokes

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100. I lost Interest in that relationship.

Score: 28868

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that's my wife or my girlfriend

Score: 11213

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend

Score: 10234

My girlfriend borrowed $500 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $500. I lost Interest in that relationship.

Score: 6143

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing. I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

Score: 1784

I loaned $200 to my girlfriend 5 years ago. She returned exactly $200 after we separated. I lost interest in that relationship

Score: 1592

My girlfriend of 3 years has never told me a joke. We are in a serious relationship.

Score: 941
Funny Relationship Jokes
Score: 888

I could never cheat in a relationship That would require 2 people to find me attractive

Score: 630

My boyfriend just told me he has an STD... Looks like I'm *gonorrhea*valuate this relationship.

Score: 564

Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.

Score: 542

In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices…. Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden…

Score: 489

Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship I just don't know whether it's my wife, or girlfriend.

Score: 423

They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship Not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

Score: 409

I just ended a 5 year relationship today. It's okay. It wasn't my relationship.

Score: 348

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games. Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

Score: 337

I just ended a 5 years long relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship.

Score: 320

I could never cheat in a relationship... Because that would require two people to find me attractive.

Score: 306

I would never cheat in a relationship Because that would require two people to find me attractive.

Score: 233

Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring

Score: 215

They Say 1 out of 3 People Cheat in a Relationship Not sure if it's my wife, or my girlfriend.

Score: 195

My relationship with my girlfriend is quite complex. I'm the real part.

Score: 187

I just ended a 5 year relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship :P

Score: 181

I could never cheat in a relationship Because that would require 2 people to find me attractive

Score: 153

I just ended a 5 year relationship! I am fine though because it wasn't my relationship.

Score: 147

If you're genuinely asking me to choose between my career as a reporter and our relationship Well then I've got some news for you

Score: 139

I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room.

Score: 132

I just ended a five year relationship....... I'm fine though, it wasn't mine

Score: 127

If you're an astronaut.. and you don't end every relationship with "I need space" then you're just wasting your time

Score: 125

I just ended a 8 year relationship I’m OK though, it wasn’t my relationship

Score: 117

As I watched an ongoing fued between two YouTube makeup influencers I couldnt help but wonder... Was this because their relationship was based on a bad foundation?

Score: 26

So, I was dating a Japanese girl... The relationship grew old rather quickly so I decided to break up with her. When I told her, she just stood there in disbelief. It's like you have to drop the bomb twice for them to get the message.

Score: 18

The reason my last relationship didn't work out is because she was a gemini... and I don't believe in bullshit.

Score: 8

Why didn’t the horse go to the bar on singles night? He was already in a stable relationship.

Score: 6

I used to be good friends with my bartender But now our relationship is on the rocks

Score: 4

My newest relationship is on the rocks But I can't complain, I knew it was whisky from the beginning.

Score: 3

Why did the piece of spaghetti refuse to get on the plate with the rest? Because he had a strained relationship with the rest.

Score: 2

You and Juan have a pretty spicy relationship He’s always jalapeño business

Score: 2

I realized my relationship with my Japanese girlfriend wasn't working. I told her that we should end it but she didn't seem to get that. So I had to drop the bomb twice before she understood.

Score: 2

My probability for being in a relationship The probability of me in World War 3 is higher than the probablity of me in a relationship.

Score: 2

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New Relationship Jokes

A friend said to me that he is in a relationship with twins I said "how do you tell them apart" . He said that's easy, Sally's got long hair and Derek has a moustache

Score: 0

I tried a diet that includes one cheat day per week. my relationship ended because of it

Score: 0

I knew I guy who proposed on a mountain Unfortunately, their relationship went downhill

Score: 0

I thought my relationship with this puppet years ago would be casual. She lied....there were strings attached.

Score: 0

I dont have a very good relationship withmy calendar After every Tuesday, it always says WTF

Score: 0

What do you call a child born from an incestual relationship? Inspring!

Score: 0

Playing bidge is a bit like being in a romantic relationship You either need a very good partner, or a very good hand.

Score: 1

Why did Thor hide his relationship with his brother? Because he wanted to keep it Loki

Score: 1

My wife wanted to spice up our relationship But she was pretty mad when I bought the Sri Lankan spice dealer up to the bedroom.

Score: 1

A physicist and a biologist had a bit of a relationship. But there wasn’t any chemistry.

Score: 1

Why did the Star Trek: The Next Generation fans end their relationship? There was no Spock between them.

Score: 1

A married couple with relationship problems decide to go for a drive. The husband drives to barn filled with ugly mules.

He asks his wife:

"Relatives of yours?"

The wife responds with

"Yes, in-laws."

Score: 1

The best part for a man who is in an incestuous relationship with his mother ...is that he gets to celebrate mothers day and valentine's day for the same reasons.

Score: 2

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