What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team?
A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;)
I saw a billboard the other day for a sports team called the Chicago Fire.
it made me wonder just how long it takes before you can name a team after a tragedy.
it'd be like naming a football team "the New York Jets."
The England Football Team visited an Orphanage in Russia yesterday.. "It's heart breaking to see their little faces with no hope", said Vladimir, aged 6.
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.
The reason women don't play football The reason women don't play football is that eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
The England football team went to visit an orphanage in Russia this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Anatoly, aged 6.
Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
Britons vs. Americans
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby
It's School not Shooting Range.
Got this joke off of a yogurt pack... Why are football stadiums so windy?
'This is not labelled for individual sales'
I know, I dont get it either...
Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven.
A few days later I saw his ghost. He said
"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow."
Did you hear about the Football player that went to Prison? He went in as a tight end, but left a wide receiver.
Yesterday I was playing football for the first time in a year after suffering from a serious illness.
"You've still got it!" said somebody in the crowd.
Unfortunately it was the doctor with my latest test results.
I used to play football for Jerry Sandusky. I started out as a tight end but finished the season as a wide receiver.
It's sad really, Texas has two professional football teams,
But Oklahoma doesn't have any.
I vote we move the Redskins there.
I left three notes scattered around the house for my girlfriend. I left three notes scattered around the house for my girlfriend. They say Will You and Me That will keep her busy whilst I watch football on TV.
Did you hear about the football player who went to jail? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver.
Why aren't there many female football teams? Because you can't convince 11 women to wear the same clothes
My first high school football game was a lot like losing my virginity I was bloody and sore by the end of it, but atleast my dad came.
A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome ...and call it Touch Downs.
What's the difference between Cinderella and the Scotland football team? Cinderella wanted to get to the ball.
I'm starting a new business where I host parties for football players Just trying to make ends meet
Why do politicians always finish a football match with golden goal? They believe in first past the post
What do you call two nuns and a prostitute playing football ? Two tight ends and a wide receiver
I was going to make a joke about the Spanish capital...
... maybe about their football team.
But what's the point? The Real Madrid joke will be in the comments.
Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate? Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys
What do you call a white guy with 10 black guys, football coach
What do you call a white guy with 250 black guys?
2 football players are in a bar
One walks up to the other and says hey, wanna shot?
The other says: Il pass
I was confused, when a football kept getting bigger and bigger.... And that's when it hit me.
What's the difference between English tea and the English football team? You can find English tea in a cup.
What happened to the football player who went to prison? He used to be a tight end, but now he's a wide receiver.
What does NFL football and the Bachelor have in common? Both involve a bunch of people fighting over some balls and a ring
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a Football coach. In my defence, I have the ‘85 Chicago Beats.
Did you hear about the leper who tried out for American college football team? Started as a fullback, then was a halfback and ended up a quarterback.
Why do football teams keep using wide receivers? If they want to get through the holes, shouldn’t they use narrow receivers?
A while ago my dad was playing football with a dwarf Long story short my dads in jail for assult
I started watching football (soccer) because I could see it’s very relevant to my life... Little to no goals.
The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone. Fortunately, none of them were mine.
My ex broke up with me ‘cause she said I cared more about football than her. I was gutted, we’d been going steady for about 5 seasons.
I used to have the body of a football player. Unfortunately I had to get rid of the evidence.
Why doesn't Columbus Ohio have a professional football team? Because then Cincinnati and Cleveland would want one too.
Go gurt go! Ok. So one time I had this friend named Gurtesnes. I couldn't pronounce his name right so I called him Gurt. He was a football player so I went to one of his games, I saw him and yelled... GO GURT GO!
If the Colts' QB was on your fantasy football roster You're officially out of Luck this season.
I become somewhat excited at my son's high school football games.
One night, when he made a particularly good tackle, I punched the person next to me and loudly proclaimed, "That's my son who made that tackle!"
"I know," she replied quietly. "He's my son too."
Stupid people are sure on themselves
A football player tells his son:
\-You know, smart people are always full of doubts while stupid ones are very sure on themselves.