Bird Jokes


Funniest Bird Jokes

The stork is the bird that helps deliver babies. What bird helps prevent pregnancy? The swallow.

Score: 9796

A mummy calls a restauraunt. - Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

Score: 1957

If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies? A swallow

Score: 1756

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies? A Swallow.

Score: 1478
Funny Bird Jokes
Score: 1142

What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights? A chicken

Score: 876

What’s the difference between swine flu and bird flu? Swine Flu requires oinkment and Bird Flu requires Tweetment

Score: 771

A Norweigan robot analyzed a bird. It scandinavian.

Score: 542

If the stork is the bird of birth, what's the bird of birth control? A swallow.

Score: 459

If a stork brings a white baby and a crow brings a black baby; what bird brings no baby? a swallow

Score: 367

What's the national bird of Syria A US drone

Score: 361

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird.

Score: 357

What kind of bird doesn't have babies A swallow

Score: 301

If a white bird makes white babies and a black bird makes black babies, what bird makes no babies? A swallow

Score: 260

If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun.. I'd have toucans.

Score: 254

A man recently lost 28 pounds just eating chicken. It’s the only recorded instance of one bird killing two stone.

Score: 250

What's the difference between the USA and a bird? On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.

Score: 242

What is the national bird of Pakistan? An American drone.

Score: 222

If a Norwegian robot... If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian.

Score: 191

A bear climbs a tree.... a bird sitting in the tree asks "Hey, Bear, why are you up in this tree?"

the bear says "I came up here to eat apples."

the bird says "But Bear, this isn't an apple tree. there are no apples up here."

the bear says "That's ok, I brought my own."

Score: 187

What do you call a bird who never remembers song lyrics? A hummingbird

Score: 186

What is the national bird of Afghanistan? US Drone

Score: 180

2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, "Look! A dead bird!" The other looked up.

Score: 177

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful = Against the law

Illegal = A sick bird

Score: 162

What's Afghanistan's National Bird? An American drone.

Score: 155

What's the National Bird of Pakistan? An American Drone.

Score: 147

My friend told me a stupid bird pun. I replied, "Toucan play at this game."

Score: 141

One bird can't make a pun. But toucan.

Score: 141

What kind of bird does not make babies? A swallow

Score: 140

What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian

Score: 133

Sick Lemon and Sick Bird What do you give a sick bird?


What do you give a sick lemon?


Score: 48

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have Bird Flu, you need tweetment. If you have Swine Flu, you need oink-ment.

Score: 20

I was arrested the other day for keeping a sick bird of prey. Turns out it was ill eagle

Score: 12

It's hard for a solitary bird to make a pun. But toucan.

Score: 8

A single bird can't destroy capitalism on his own But toucan

Score: 5

What kind of bird is not allowed to get sick? An ill eagle

Score: 4

A blonde and a brunette are walking in a park, the brunette says awwww look a dead bird poor thing.

The blonde looks up and says where?

Score: 4

What do you call a bird with no limbs? A chicken nugget

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross a bowling ball with a bird? A bowled eagle!

Score: 2

If the swan is the symbol of happiness, then what bird symbolizes true love? Answer:
The Swallow

Score: 2

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New Bird Jokes

What do you call a bird that you follow up a mountain? A Chirpa

Score: 0

What is the national bird of the middle earth? The bald smeagol.

Score: 0

What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? .
Ready to groan?
A Sparrow-Goose.

Score: 0

How do you call a deaf German bird? A Taube.

Score: 0

What kind of Bird is the best batter? A Game Bird.

Score: 0

I'm making an extremely addictive mobile game about the new Harley Quinn movie. I'm gonna name it "Floppy Bird".

Score: 0

What song do dogs request at concerts? Flea Bird

Score: 0

What do you call that thing that's a bird in a bird in a bird? Kinky.

Score: 0

There was once a superhero called "The Crocodile" She was flying around the city, when a man yelled. "Is that a bird?" He said. "Is that a plane?" Asked a woman. "No- it's the poor people's heroine!"

Score: 1

I got a knitted chair for my pet bird! It's a crow chez.

Score: 2

What do you call a bird that sits atop a tall metal tower A crane

Score: 1

How do you know which bird will always go all-in on a hand in poker? An owl. Because it's owl nothing.

Score: 2

So a black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder, "What a beautiful parrot," said the bartender, "where'd you get it?" "Africa," said the bird This is sorta racist but I mean its funny.

Score: 0

During WWI, whenever they captured a carrier bird they labeled them POWs Pigeon of war

Score: 1

What is an alcoholic's favourite book? Tequila Mocking Bird

(credit to my sister)

Score: 2

I understand that the dove is the "bird of peace" and the bald eagle is "strength and freedom", but I honestly can't get "true love" The swallow :(

Score: 2

A Bird commited homicide It was a foul Murder.

Score: 0

A bird flew into my math classroom today. It must've wanted to learn geome-tree.

Score: 2

What do you call an eagle in church? ...bird of prey

Score: 2

Did you ever hear the one about the greatest bird-pharoh of Egypt? His name was Toucan-khamun!

Score: 2

Where does a socialist bird lay it’s eggs? In a communest.

Score: 1

Did you hear about the large bird that tried to join a small bird club? Unfortunately, he was Ostrich sized :(

Score: 2

Why do hacker types sleep in till late in the morning? Because the early bird gets the worm.

Score: 1

They ran out crying 'Bird Flu !!!' I looked up and couldn't see any, I'm sure they were lying.

Score: 1

What was the Soviet Union's favourite bird? Josef Starling.

Score: 1

Two roosters are working out in a gym One of the roosters stops and starts to stare at something.

The other rooster asks "What you looking at?"

To which he replies with "Just chicken out that fit bird."

Score: 2

Why was the bird not aloud to fly? Because it was grounded?

Score: 1

Giant bird goes to a psychiatrist.. ''I feel like I'm ignored all the time.''

''Maybe it's because you're ostrich sized''

Score: 1

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