Liberal Jokes

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Funniest Liberal Jokes

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities. Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

Funny Liberal Jokes

Four Majors... The science major asks "Why does it work?"

The engineering major asks "How does it work?"

The business major asks "How much will it cost?"

The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"

Why does it seem like 90% of Redditors are hardcore liberal atheists? Because the conservatives are at work.

What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major.

I lied about the wheels.

How do you get a Liberal Arts graduate off your porch? Pay for the pizza

An engineer major asks... "How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

I have a degree in Liberal Arts Do you want fries with that?

What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family.

What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?...... Trivial Pursuit.

"Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts" "That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"

What did the liberal arts major say to the engineering grad? Do you want fries with that?

What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed? Oh,the humanities!

what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster lack toast and tolerant

Why did the liberal not want to talk to the socialist? Because they are anti-social.

What is the definition of a Saint? A dead liberal that is worshipped by living conservatives.

A man proudly sporting an “I Love Trump” pin passes a liberal man on the sidewalk. As he does so, he trips and falls. “Oh my god!” Exclaims the liberal, “Are you alt-right?”

If you're a liberal arts major, here's a tip $5, and be glad it's 20%.

What do you call a Rasta with a liberal arts degree? Jahbless!

Today I change my major from law to liberal arts. Psych.

Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall? They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.



Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.

Why do a lot of old people move to Florida? Because they hate liberal snowflakes.

Do something you love and never work a day in your life they said So I got a liberal arts degree.

I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree. I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.

You know, I haven't always been liberal You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history.

One of my posts got taken down for being“inappropriate/political” because I used the word liberal How is it political to say “I’m liberal with the amount of kids I fit in my basement”

Using high powered gamma rays, creatures on Mars have established total mind control over Donald. And Hillary. And the liberal press. And the Alt-right. Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.

(But it explains everything!)

What's the difference between a liberal and a conservative? One wants to kill in the first trimester and the other wants to kill in the hundred sixtith trimester.

A liberal wins the powerball! Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!

I'm an aerospace engineer. I'm an aerospace engineer. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "it IS rocket science..." it still wouldn't be as much as my salary. Take that liberal arts majors.

Ordered a sandwich.. And I asked for a liberal amount of bacon. The employee cried, set the sandwich on fire, then went outside to protest.

I need to learn to be careful using the word liberal.

how do you tell the difference between liberal and a mathematician? ask them to define an inequality.

Did you hear about that new liberal episcopal church? It has six commandments and four suggestions

What do you get when you give a Liberal a penny for their thoughts? Change

What is the proper title to refer to a Liberal Arts Major. Esquire.

What's a republican's least favorite type of college major? Liberal Arts

Doctors in the 40's used to prescribe orgasms to stressed women. Which seems pretty liberal until you realize he used his hand to do it.

The lawsuit seeking 'personhood' status for chimpanzees Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,


and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.

UK ELECTIONS UPDATE It's post election fever in the UK.
And the British ladies are more confused than ever!
They are Conservative in the day, Liberal at night and nine months later in Labour??

We engineers are way too condescending to liberal arts majors despite the fact that we absolutely need them. After all, somebody’s got to brew our coffee at Starbucks.

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New Liberal Jokes

I'm changing my name to Robert, moving to a liberal middle eastern country, and opening a chain craft store. I'll call it Bobby's Abu Dhabi Hobby Lobby.

I was profoundly liberal before I moved out and got a full-time job

What’s similar between a liberal and salt? They both want to get rid of ice

My boss said our company will help pay for us to go to a technical college... I said I wanted to take Liberal Arts.
He said it had to be a technical subject and I said that it was technically worthless.

A Socialist, a Communist, and a Liberal together at a table in a bar, what do you get? An alt-right.

Have you tried the new College Debt Simulator video game? Turns out liberal arts is the default setting.

What did the stoner liberal say to the conservative? Alt-right alt-right alt-right

What's the plus side to accepting science grad students from private liberal arts colleges? They come without the B.S. !!

Knowledge is liberal We are synonymous.
We are battalion.
We do not pardon.
We do not fail to recall.
Anticipate us.

What do you call a Liberal dilemma? Snowden hacking Hillary's files.

A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything.

Conservative forces are those like gravity and springs that hold onto energy until released. These are not to be confused with liberal forces, which just give you energy if you ask nicely.

^(Please don't hurt me.)

What do you call a liberal notary public? notarypublican

How do you turn a liberal into a conservative? Move them out of thier parents basement

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Long Liberal Jokes

Once I saw a man on a bridge about to jump

I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What denomination?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

I was talking to a friend's little girl...

I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her,

'If you were to be the President, what's the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that.

You can come over to my house and mow the grass, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, 'cause she's only 6.

And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

And I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

EDIT: Thanks /u/Adnan_Targaryen for the suggestion to remove the last line!

A $50 Lesson

A $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

So I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump

I said, "Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

I was talking to a friend's little girl...

I was talking to a friend’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’ ‘Wow - what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.’

She thought that over for a few seconds ‘cause she’s only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

And I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart.”

Degrees

The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'

The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'

The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'

Once I saw a man on a bridge about to jump.

I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said "Die, heretic!" and pushed him over.

The Marine and the Liberal Arts Major

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you got any?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no nookie since 1955!"

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

Democrats and Republicans.

I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what's the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that.

You can come over to my house and mow the grass, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, 'cause she's only 6.

And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

And I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her folks still aren't talking to me.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

* Emo Philips

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.”


I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”


He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”


He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too! Protestant or Catholic?”


He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?”


He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”


He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”


He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”


He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”


He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

I once saw a guy on a bridge, about to jump...

I said, "Don't do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I asked, "Which religion?"

He said, "I'm a Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" and pushed him over.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

I yelled at him, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.”

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

Saving a christian

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.”

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

Exception to the rule

The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, First Sergeant!"

"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!"

"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
- Emo Philips

I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump

I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
I said "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

Justin Trudeau walks into a Royal Bank to cash a cheque.

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Trudeau: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Justin Trudeau, the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada!!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the CIDC legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Trudeau: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr. Trudeau, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Trudeau:" Mon dieu. I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look Mr. Trudeau , here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.
Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque.
So, Mr. Trudeau, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"
Trudeau stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank, I have absolutely no idea what to do, I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. Trudeau?"

.. I couldn't find anywhere on here where this was posted before. Sorry if it is a repost. Please note this was borrowed from a other social media site.

The Jumper

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too!" Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.


[credit to Emo Philips]

The pains of being a biology student.

There was a biology student who was studying equilibrium in sea birds with a
specific focus on terns. He proposed that giving measured doses of THC (from,
of course, marijuana) and observing their flight patterns would give some
insight to the problems of equilibrium in three dimensional space. This
proposal being given in a more liberal era, the student got the funding. He
filled out mountains of forms, set up a lab with a ready supply of terns, and
proceeded on his way. After a year of diligent work, groveling monthly before
the review committee to get his stipend, and living with drugged terns, he
completed his study.

With trembling hands, he delivered his 247-page report, complete with charts
and graphs, to the review committee. The august body peruses his study, asking
penetrating questions and reducing our student to jell-o. Finally, the
department head rises. The light reflects off her steel rimmed glasses as she
stares down at our student.

"There is a lot of good work here," she says. "But we can't accept this report.
You have detailed marvelously the effects of THC on terns but you forgot one
essential step: you have no control group." Our student turns pale and says,
"You don't mean..."

"Yes. I'm afraid so. You left no tern unstoned."

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