Kindergarten Jokes

Funny Kindergarten Jokes
Score: 5232

A fat man was standing in front of a kindergarten One of the teachers comes and asks him:

"Are you expecting a child?"

"No. I am a bit fat that's all"

Score: 1729

A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked... her class what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"

Score: 75

What's the difference between a Kindergarten and an ISIS stronghold? I don't know, I just fly the drones

Score: 75

What's the difference between a Pakistani Kindergarten and a Taliban Training Ground? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Score: 55

My son’s kindergarten teacher was arrested for heroin possession In hindsight, the small pupils were a dead giveaway

Score: 53

Bill Gates recently visited a kindergarten and taught the children how to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

Score: 41

A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."

Score: 35

Yesterday a police officer came up to me and asked, "where were you between 4 and 6?" I answered, "kindergarten"

Score: 28

When I was in kindergarten... I met a really beautiful girl. We really liked each other. We were constantly kissing and holding hands, even showed our private parts, until one day the teacher came and caught us, needless to say, I got fired.

Score: 27

A cop pulled me over and asked me, “Where were you between 5 and 6?” I replied, “Kindergarten.”

Score: 20

What does U.S. immigration policy have in common with kindergarten after lunch? Kid napping.

Score: 16

My son's kindergarten teacher is such a hardass, she failed him on his alphabet test even though he got 25/26. He still doesn't know y.

Score: 13

A security guard came up to me yesterday... and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."

Score: 12

Why do kindergarten teachers have bad eyesight? Because their pupils are small.

Score: 11

The police asked me where I was between 4 and 5 I said "Kindergarten"

Score: 10

What's the worst thing about Michael Jackson teaching your kindergarten class? The smell. The man's been dead for 6 years.

Score: 8

Saw my ex-girlfriend across the street today and she didn't even look at me. Truth is, i've changed a lot since kindergarten.

Score: 7

If you really think about it... Kindergarten teachers love to spread communism and

Score: 7

What’s the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? I wouldn’t know. I’m just the drone operator.

Score: 7

in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18.

Score: 6

What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten? Pre-KKK

Score: 6

Personal space is a concept I did not understand in Kindergarten I guess that's why they fired me.

Score: 6

Interrogation A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6. He seemed annoyed when I answered, "kindergarten!"

Score: 6

What do you call it when a German kid plants some vegetables? A kindergarten

Score: 6

After the apocalypse, in cannibalistic Germany, "Kindergarten" takes on a new, darker meaning.

Score: 5

The officer came and asked where I was between 5 and 6... I said kindergarten

Score: 5

I'd always roll into class late super stoned or hung over, id try to sneak to my desk without people noticing I really was a bad kindergarten teacher

Score: 5

In kindergarten, I had my first kiss with my crush in the back of the classroom. Needless to say, I got barred from teaching ever again.

Score: 5

When I was in kindergarten, I liked the shape of the seventh letter of the alphabet so much, I would just stare at the one on the class poster and poke at it. My teacher would whisper *"Prodigy..."*

Score: 5

I’m going to start a new school system for children of anti-vax parents. If anyone knows where I can hire some kindergarten teachers and a mortician that would be great.

Score: 4

Kindergarten joke: What's a pirates favorite letter? You may think it's "R" but it's really the sea!

Score: 2

Is this kindergarten Sherlock? Its elementary my dear Watson!

Score: 1

The best part about my work is how my patients can get appendectomies, cesarian sections and even heart surgery free of charge. I love being a kindergarten teacher.

Score: 0

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