Trump Jokes

Contents

Funniest Trump Jokes

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."

Score: 27597

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.

Score: 24965

Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

Score: 24708

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

EDIT: epic

Score: 24109

Why will congress never impeach Trump? Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

Score: 23865

Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'

Score: 22252

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20797

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20194

When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution

Edit: *Alleged* contribution of $1 million. Also, thank you kind gilder

Score: 17577

What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

Score: 17462
Funny Trump Jokes
Score: 17308

The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

Score: 17237

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters So Trump can't tweet it

Score: 14579

Donald Trump - "I'm not orange!" "Impeach."

Score: 14486

Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

Score: 13827

What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

Score: 13448

How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence.

Score: 13007

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

Score: 12706

Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump He said "Genius"

Score: 12354

If Trump played DnD, what weapon would he use? Fire staff

Score: 12086

If I were American, I'd vote Bernie... But I'm Russian, so I'm voting Trump

Score: 11629

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens

Score: 11347

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump probably had it coming.

Score: 11215

There's a term for Presidents like Trump. Probably not two terms, though...

Score: 11039

In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one

Score: 10569

Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

Score: 9911

Why does Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 9910

Hitler died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946... Coincidence? No.

Mystery? Maybe.

Hotel? Trivago.

Score: 9808

Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

Score: 9586

What is the difference between Russia and reality? Trump had connections with Russia.

Score: 8848

Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

Score: 7534

I wish I had Trump as a teacher. Citations would be easy

"You know it, I know it, everyone knows it"

Score: 3592

If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America

Score: 2747

Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...

Score: 1609

Why is it impossible for Trump to hang himself? Fake noose

Score: 483

Trump hates saying "yes" to Mexicans so much We may as well call him the "Not Si" President

Score: 300

What did Donald Trump say after his attempt to hang himself failed? "Fake Noose!"

Score: 218

What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust.

Score: 186

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president. Oh, Crimea river!

Score: 179

So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

Score: 168

Popular Topics

New Trump Jokes

Why does trump take xanax For hispanic attacks

​

Disclaimer: I saw this joke somewhere else its not mine

Score: 37

After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall

Score: 15

Why is Trump losing support in Georgia? Hates peach.

Score: 9

Why is it impossible to throw a beer at Trump? Because he's a draft dodger

Score: 19

Barron Trump: "Dad, can you help me with my economics homework?" Donald: "no, son. It wouldn't be right."

Barron: "I know, but will you try it anyway?"

Score: 8

Trump can now claim he’s a Vietnam vet ...since he was shot down by North Korea in Hanoi

Score: 25

Why can't President Trump ever finish reading a book? Because everything he starts ends with chapter 11.

Score: 12

Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

Score: 13

What do atoms and President Trump have in common? They make up everything

Score: 14

Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks. Private Tax Return,
Major Embarrassment,
Chief Petty Officer,
General Incompetence.

Score: 10

What did Donald Trump say when he matched King Jong Un on tinder? Send Nukes

Score: 9

Well... there goes Ted's reputation Trump: No one embarrasses themselves on Twitter like I do

Ted Cruz: Hold my milk

Trump: Wait, this isn't milk...

Score: 32

Why is the congress never impeaching president Trump? because republicans insist on carrying a baby to its full term.

Score: 162

What went wrong with Trump's Suicide Attempt Fake Noose

Score: 94

Trump is trying to solve global warming That's why he's trying to create a nuclear winter

Score: 43

Who will be in charge of Trump's border wall? The Secretary of Da' Fence!

Score: 18

What's the least favourite vegetable of the Trump administration? Leeks.

Score: 13

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

Score: 49

I got President Trump's autograph today. He signed my Deportation Notice.

Score: 56

Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.

Score: 14

Come on, Trump has no ties in Russia. His ties are made in China. His business loans are in Russia.

Score: 29

Why did an immigrant marry trump ? Because immigrants do the jobs that no American wants to do

Score: 54

Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.

Score: 21

News Alert: Trump spending weekend working at the White House. April Fools

Score: 13

What's Donald Trump's favourite day of the year? 1st April - everything's fake news.

Score: 17

Why can't President Trump bring back hanging? Because of all the fake noose.

Score: 10

Trump is like copper. He's better without oxygen.

Score: 27

If I had a dollar for every racist thing Donald Trump has said... He'd be cutting my taxes.

Score: 20

Apparently other than the russian ties, another interesting revelation was released about Trump. He loves trickle-down economics.

Score: 14

I Wish I had Trump As A Teacher Citations would be super easy

"You know it, I know it, everyone knows it"

Score: 44

How much is Donald Trump's life insurance worth? One Pence

Score: 17

The US government has been trying to get rid of Fidel Castro for 50 years. Trump gets elected, and Castro is dead within 3 weeks.

Score: 7

Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card.

Score: 32

If Trump divorces Melania while in office... Will she rule half the country?

Score: 8

How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

Score: 10

Did you hear Donald Trump's plan for combatting global warming? Nuclear winter

Score: 32

So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so

Score: 19

The Trump Years in a Nutshell 2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"

Score: 29

Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America

Score: 7

What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one.

Score: 50

Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations.

Score: 25

Why is Monica Lewinsky voting Trump? The Clinton's leave a bad taste in her mouth

Score: 10

Trump is too politically incorrect, Hillary is too politically correct Yet they're both incorrect for politics

Score: 10

Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."

Score: 36

Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up.

Score: 9

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*

Score: 7

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a debate... America says, "What is this, a joke?"

Score: 164

Illegal immigrants do jobs that Americans don't want. Like marrying Donald Trump.

Score: 123

Why don't people give Melania Trump a break... Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA.

Score: 126

If Trump and Hilary were stuck on a desert island, who would survive? America

Score: 26

If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say... Orange is the new Black.

Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.

Score: 21

How will Donald Trump deport 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by juan.

Score: 8

If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America

Score: 15

A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.

Score: 106

What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress

Score: 15

If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?

Score: 70

What is the only way to stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile.

Score: 7

Donald Trump Simulator was just released! It's the prequel to the Fallout series.

Score: 28

Donald Trump is not actually a member of the Republican Party He's a *Whig*

Score: 42

Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."

Score: 10

Popular Topics