Hilarious Trump Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Trump Jokes

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."

Score: 27597

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.

Score: 24965

Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

Score: 24708

Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.

EDIT: epic

Score: 24109

Why will congress never impeach Trump? Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

Score: 23865

Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'

Score: 22252

Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20797

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 20194

When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution

Edit: *Alleged* contribution of $1 million. Also, thank you kind gilder

Score: 17577

What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

Score: 17462

Score: 17308

The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

Score: 17237

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters So Trump can't tweet it

Score: 14579

Donald Trump - "I'm not orange!" "Impeach."

Score: 14486

Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

Score: 13827

What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

Score: 13448

How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence.

Score: 13007

If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

Score: 12706

Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump He said "Genius"

Score: 12354

If Trump played DnD, what weapon would he use? Fire staff

Score: 12086

If I were American, I'd vote Bernie... But I'm Russian, so I'm voting Trump

Score: 11629

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens

Score: 11347

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump probably had it coming.

Score: 11215

There's a term for Presidents like Trump. Probably not two terms, though...

Score: 11039

In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one

Score: 10569

Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

Score: 9911

Why does Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 9910

Hitler died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946... Coincidence? No.

Mystery? Maybe.

Hotel? Trivago.

Score: 9808

Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

Score: 9586

What is the difference between Russia and reality? Trump had connections with Russia.

Score: 8848

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down? Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.

Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

Score: 8342

Why can't Donald Trump be hung for treason? Fake Noose

Score: 6088

Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

Score: 4261

Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an "alternative romantic."

Score: 4244

If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America

Score: 2747

If I had a penny for every Trump joke being made right now I would have a small loan of a million dollars

Score: 2490

Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better Pence: The fewer

Trump: I told you not to call me that yet

Score: 2392

Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty

Trump: I'm guilty

Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this

Score: 2292

A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... ...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

Score: 2020

Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...

Score: 1609

New Trump Jokes

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president. Oh, Crimea river!

Score: 179

Why is it impossible for Trump to hang himself? Fake noose

Score: 483

Who would win if the American President debated the British Prime Minister? After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump

Score: 1198

Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
In the right side, there's nothing left.

Score: 1315

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease. Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

Score: 1126

Massive trump rally scheduled for tomorrow Miami Beach @ 10:00, come show your support!

Score: 1592

Why is the congress never impeaching president Trump? because republicans insist on carrying a baby to its full term.

Score: 162

Bill Gates and Donald Trump are alone in the Oval Office Trump remarks,"Bill, together you and I are worth $80 billion."

Bill Gates says,"But I'm worth 90 billion."

Score: 215

Making jokes about Trump taking us to war is all fun and games until You realize you're a healthy young man

Score: 821

Apparently Trump's family tree looks like a cactus Everybody on it is a prick

Score: 354

Why did Donald Trump rush to Macy's? He heard they had Ivanka's clothes half off

Score: 1062

When Trump announced job creations... I didn't think it was for the same position over and over again.

Score: 598

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban... I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

Score: 1073

What do me and Donald Trump have in common? We'd both date his daughter if she wasn't his daughter.

Edit: Okay, this made it to the front page of the sub. I didn't expect this to be my top post of all time, thanks a lot /r/jokes

Score: 1418

What did Donald Trump say after his attempt to hang himself failed? "Fake Noose!"

Score: 218

Trump always wanted to be screwed by one of his kids He just didn't expect it to be this one

Score: 444

Where does Donald Trump Jr. buy his groceries? Traitor Joe's

Score: 1149

President Trump: "I've raised THE BEST kids....." ".....They are the most polite people you have ever seen. Just today Don Jr. has already said "Pardon Me, Dad" at least 10 times. He has such great manners!"

Score: 247

I clicked on a link for a naked Trump leak. Turned out it was just fake nudes.

Score: 171

What can Donald Trump and I both agree on? That if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I would date her.

Score: 350

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition that he gets to install windows.

Score: 1111

What's the difference between Twitter and Vietnam? Trump would never dodge a Twitter war.

Score: 168

If Donald Trump was a Sith Lord... His name would be Taxi Vader

Score: 251

Steve Jobs would have been a much better president than Donald Trump But its a silly comparison really, like comparing apples to oranges.

Score: 882

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate. Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

Score: 1310

Trump's Presidency is like climate change Every day it gets worse and Republicans try to deny it.

Score: 933

Why does Donald trump use twitter instead of Facebook? Because he has followers, not friends.

Score: 1173

Why don't you want to play Uno with Donald Trump? He takes away all the green cards.

Score: 724

What's the difference between a cow and the Trump-Russia controversy? You can't milk a cow 24/7 for six months straight.

Score: 196

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin? He is orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

Score: 371

Trump pulls out of Paris. Probably for the best... can you imagine how narcissistic that kid would be?

Score: 166

Why did Donald Trump drain the swamp? So he could hire what was on the bottom.

Score: 462

Donald Trump's Thesaurus is so bad... it's also bad.

Score: 177

In US Presidential History: Washington could not tell a lie, Nixon could not tell a truth... and Trump can not tell the difference

Score: 833

President Trump attempts suicide, fails because of broken rope. Fake noose.

Score: 721

Why did Donald Trump marry an Immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American wants to do

Score: 312

Trump should build that wall out of Hillary's emails since it seems no one can get over them.

Score: 431

i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke Overheard at the White House:

Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."

Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."

Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".

Score: 791

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 404

Trump walks into a bar and lowers it.

Score: 230

I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny. It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.

Score: 333

My joke was removed for comparing Trump to Hitler Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.

Score: 1060

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.

Edit: This is not a political statement. I do not have an agenda. This is a bad pun for you guys to enjoy. Wake up sheeple!

Score: 1122

What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.

Score: 918

I just read Trump's book "The Art of the Deal" It had four Chapter 11's.

Score: 1593

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

[Politics] Trump: 'The less immigrants we bring in the better' Pence: 'The fewer'

Trump: 'I told you not to call me that yet'

Score: 919

Do you know what Mexicans think about Trump's wall? Who cares, they'll get over it..

Score: 822

Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety pills? To prevent Hispanic attacks

Score: 184

Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed I'm sure they'll soon get over it

Score: 268

Trump hates saying "yes" to Mexicans so much We may as well call him the "Not Si" President

Score: 300

I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far. He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet.

Score: 206

Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island? America

Score: 213

What would happen if Donald Trump was about to be assassinated? Secret Service would shout "Donald, Duck!"

Score: 238

What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust.

Score: 186

If someone tries to assassinate Trump what will the secret service shout? "Donald, duck"

Score: 174

Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy. Alcohol sales have never been higher.

Score: 436

Shredded cheese has officially been banned in grocery stores in the US. Trump will make America grate again.

Score: 258

So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

Score: 168

If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black

Score: 174