"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."
Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.
Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump.
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Why will congress never impeach Trump? Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'
Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.
Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.
When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan
But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
Edit: *Alleged* contribution of $1 million. Also, thank you kind gilder
What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters So Trump can't tweet it
Donald Trump - "I'm not orange!" "Impeach."
Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence.
If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.
Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump He said "Genius"
If Trump played DnD, what weapon would he use? Fire staff
If I were American, I'd vote Bernie... But I'm Russian, so I'm voting Trump
Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion Probably because Mexico has more aliens
After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump probably had it coming.
There's a term for Presidents like Trump. Probably not two terms, though...
In breaking news, Trump's personal library has burned down The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn't even finished coloring the second one
Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Why does Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks
Hitler died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946...
Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.
What is the difference between Russia and reality? Trump had connections with Russia.
Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
I wish I had Trump as a teacher.
Citations would be easy
"You know it, I know it, everyone knows it"
If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America
Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...
Why is it impossible for Trump to hang himself? Fake noose
Trump hates saying "yes" to Mexicans so much We may as well call him the "Not Si" President
What did Donald Trump say after his attempt to hang himself failed? "Fake Noose!"
What do Trump and his supporters NOT have in common? His supporters have a blind trust.
Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president. Oh, Crimea river!
So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.
Why does trump take xanax
For hispanic attacks
Disclaimer: I saw this joke somewhere else its not mine
After Trump changes course of hurricane with a sharpie House approves budget of 12 crayons for border wall
Why is Trump losing support in Georgia? Hates peach.
Why is it impossible to throw a beer at Trump? Because he's a draft dodger
Barron Trump: "Dad, can you help me with my economics homework?"
Donald: "no, son. It wouldn't be right."
Barron: "I know, but will you try it anyway?"
Trump can now claim he’s a Vietnam vet ...since he was shot down by North Korea in Hanoi
Why can't President Trump ever finish reading a book? Because everything he starts ends with chapter 11.
Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.
What do atoms and President Trump have in common? They make up everything
Trump may have dodged the draft but he was still given honorary military ranks.
Private Tax Return,
Chief Petty Officer,
What did Donald Trump say when he matched King Jong Un on tinder? Send Nukes
Well... there goes Ted's reputation
Trump: No one embarrasses themselves on Twitter like I do
Ted Cruz: Hold my milk
Trump: Wait, this isn't milk...
Why is the congress never impeaching president Trump? because republicans insist on carrying a baby to its full term.
What went wrong with Trump's Suicide Attempt Fake Noose
Trump is trying to solve global warming That's why he's trying to create a nuclear winter
Who will be in charge of Trump's border wall? The Secretary of Da' Fence!
What's the least favourite vegetable of the Trump administration? Leeks.
Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.
I got President Trump's autograph today. He signed my Deportation Notice.
Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.
Come on, Trump has no ties in Russia. His ties are made in China. His business loans are in Russia.
Why did an immigrant marry trump ? Because immigrants do the jobs that no American wants to do
Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.
News Alert: Trump spending weekend working at the White House. April Fools
What's Donald Trump's favourite day of the year? 1st April - everything's fake news.
Why can't President Trump bring back hanging? Because of all the fake noose.
Trump is like copper. He's better without oxygen.
If I had a dollar for every racist thing Donald Trump has said... He'd be cutting my taxes.
Apparently other than the russian ties, another interesting revelation was released about Trump. He loves trickle-down economics.
I Wish I had Trump As A Teacher
Citations would be super easy
"You know it, I know it, everyone knows it"
How much is Donald Trump's life insurance worth? One Pence
The US government has been trying to get rid of Fidel Castro for 50 years. Trump gets elected, and Castro is dead within 3 weeks.
Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card.
If Trump divorces Melania while in office... Will she rule half the country?
How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.
Did you hear Donald Trump's plan for combatting global warming? Nuclear winter
So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so
The Trump Years in a Nutshell
2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"
Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America
What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one.
Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations.
Why is Monica Lewinsky voting Trump? The Clinton's leave a bad taste in her mouth
Trump is too politically incorrect, Hillary is too politically correct Yet they're both incorrect for politics
Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it. He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."
Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up.
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a debate... America says, "What is this, a joke?"
Illegal immigrants do jobs that Americans don't want. Like marrying Donald Trump.
Why don't people give Melania Trump a break... Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA.
If Trump and Hilary were stuck on a desert island, who would survive? America
If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say...
Orange is the new Black.
Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.
How will Donald Trump deport 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by juan.
If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America
A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.
What do you call Trump and Hillary buried up to their necks in sand? Progress
If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?
What is the only way to stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile.
Donald Trump Simulator was just released! It's the prequel to the Fallout series.
Donald Trump is not actually a member of the Republican Party He's a *Whig*
Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."