Mexican Jokes

Contents

Funniest Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.

Score: 10995
Funny Mexican Jokes
Score: 2779

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

Score: 2708

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres.



**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

Score: 2360

Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 2050

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

Score: 1977

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

Score: 1720

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Score: 1499

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

Score: 1450

Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks

Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo

Score: 1298

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a white man with no girlfriend? Alien vs Redditor

Score: 1290

Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition.

Score: 1225

Why did the Mexican man take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 1007

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

Score: 978

Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.

Score: 929

I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Score: 739

Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show. He counted:

“Uno...”

“Dos...”

And disappeared without a trace.

Score: 713

A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three.

He began counting "Uno, dos..."

And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 663

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose.

Score: 637

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans

Score: 593

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump was brought down By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?

Score: 585

I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends. It means a lot to them.

Score: 573

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth. Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Score: 526

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

Score: 515

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.

Score: 463

The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

Score: 462

What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids

Score: 457

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator

Score: 453

A Mexican magician was performing on stage He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three,

"Uno"
"Dos"

And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres

Score: 425

I hate Mexican jokes... They always cross the line.

Score: 423

Where did the Mexican man hide when he was scared? Hispanic room

Score: 402

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who's run out of protein powder? No whey José

Score: 374

What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car? Carlos...

Score: 370

What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!

Score: 330

A mexican kid tells D. Trump: I want to be President!
Trump says: are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you retarded?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.

Score: 325

Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives

Score: 286

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers? they only had one pickup

Score: 274

What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.

Score: 249

Did you hear about the Mexican racist? Hey tried to join the que que que.

Score: 248

I was gonna smoke weed with this Mexican girl Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off.

Score: 244

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New Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican man in space? An astronaut, you racist.

Score: 8

A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars... Naturally, he got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand.

Each time he'd stop the bicycle and open the sacks, and he'd find only sand. He had the sand analyzed at the lab and looked at the sack under a microscope he could never find anything wrong. This went on every day for the next month.

After the officer retired, he ran into the bicyclist in a restaurant in Tijuana. After some small talk he said, "Come on. I know you were smuggling something all that time. I won't tell. I'm just curious. What was it?" The other man said, "Bicycles."

Score: 36

A mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos poof He disappeared without a tres

Score: 21

Mexican Magician Uno... Dos... Poof

He disappeared...

Without a tres.

Score: 43

Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor wanted for murder? The authorities are saying he had loco motives.

Score: 69

A Mexican magician was performing a magic trick. He counted Uno, Dos, and vanished without a Tres.

Score: 17

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 49

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because it’s not a full esse

Score: 12

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he’s not a full esse

Score: 16

I used to be a prostitute at a Mexican golf resort. They called me hole in Juan.

Score: 12

What’s a Mexican drinking worm’s favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird

Score: 10

Why did the Mexican take his wife to the top of a cliff? Tequila

Score: 47

My mexican friend commited a robbery and got away. Now he's Juanted

Score: 17

Why does the Mexican guy take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks.

Score: 14

What do you call a short Mexican researcher in Antarctica? A Burrito

First joke I've ever come up with. My Hispanic wife laughed her butt off.

Score: 43

What did the Mexican duck say? Guac

Score: 111

Why can’t a blind Mexican say yes? Because he can’t sí.

Score: 16

The Trump administration just announced ... ... no gatherings of 10 or more people.

Once again they found another way to separate Mexican families.

Score: 50

Someone asked a blind mexican man if there was anything he could not do he replied:

“sí”

Score: 7

A Mexican man had a job interview Interviewer: How would you explain this 4 year work gap in your resume?

Man: That's when I went to Yale.

Interviewer: Very impressive. You're hired.

Man: Thanks I really need this yob.

Score: 12

What do you call a Mexican who owns 2.47 acres of land? Hector

Score: 33

I’m never smoking weed with a Mexican anymore I asked him if he had papers and he just ran away

Score: 26

A Mexican magician was doing a vanishing trick. He said he'd disappear on the count of three.

Uno.

Dos.

*Poof!*

He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 80

what do you call 2 Mexican people playing basketball juan on juan

Score: 14

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?" The man responds, "No whey Jose."

Score: 9

If you thought Trump was going to build the wall fast before. He's going to really amp up work now that there is a virus named after Mexican beer.

Score: 17

A Mexican and his Chinese friend are hosting a Super Bowl party I wonder who’s bringing the Corona

Score: 12

IHOP is allowing all Mexican men in the U.S. legally to show ID and get 10% off. It's their new señor citizen discount.

Score: 41

A mexican woman walks into a car dealership and starts looking at a car. A salesman asks if she needs any help or got any questions. Her: Cargo space?

Salesman: Car no do that. Car no fly.

Score: 115

What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons? Jose

And Hose B.

Score: 11

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. >!Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.!<

Score: 117

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph...because it’s not a full essay

Score: 15

A mexican magician was doing a disappearing act. He started counting down: "Uno, dos" and he left without a trace

Score: 8

Mexican jokes and black jokes are all the same. Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

Score: 14

What is the name Tinkerbell’s Mexican sister? Taco Bell.

Score: 19

My Mexican friend had twin boys and couldn't come up with names.. I suggested Juan and Two

Score: 15

A Mexican magician said "I will disappear on the count of three" So he counted out loud...

"Uno!"

"Dos!"

And then \*poof\*...he vanished without a tres.

Score: 52

Why are Black jokes and Mexican jokes the same? Because once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

Score: 16

What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph, coz hes too short to be an essay.

Score: 7

How do you call a Mexican boyband? Juan Direction

Score: 21

How does a Mexican cut his pizza? With little ceasers.

Score: 40

Mexican train killers scare me. They have loco motives.

Score: 13

Why is it called boob sweat and not . . . Humidititties?

Credit: El Arroyo Mexican Restaurant Marquee

Score: 8

What do you call 3 Mexican guys walking through your property? Tres passing.

Score: 27

What’s the best tool in the Mexican Magician’s arsenal? His Magic Juan.

Score: 10

What's the similarity between black and Mexican jokes? If you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

Score: 11

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein? No whey Jose.

Score: 174

My Mexican friends always drink their drinks warm... it's like they're afraid of ICE or something.

Score: 26

Did you hear about the Mexican fireman who had twins? He named them Josè and hose b

Score: 34

We went to see a Mexican magician...... He told us that for his final act he would disappear. He lifted up a clock he has to his waist. He proclaimed "uno, dos", flung his cloak up and was gone without a tres.

Score: 10

Did you hear about the Mexican space program? They’re sending chickens to the moon for the first time ever, they’re calling it A-pollo 11

Score: 78

Why do Mexican students not turn in their essays? They no snitch

Score: 14

[WARNING OC!] What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to his donkey when he's late? "Underlay Underlay Underlay!"

Score: 12

What do you call a 2,000 lb Mexican dumpling? JuanTon

Score: 12

Mexican Magician A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3...

"Uno... Dos..."

*Poof* He disappeared, without a tres

Score: 44

I had a girlfriend who was into Picasso and Mexican food She was really artsy-fartsy.

Score: 10

Why did the Mexican guy take xanax? For Hispanic attacks.

Score: 194

What do you call a mexican gps? Juan Direction

Score: 14

What's worse than yelling FIRE in a mexican neighborhood? ICE

Score: 11

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican says, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

Score: 51

Why'd the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff? Tequila!

Score: 24

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