Mexican Jokes

Contents

Funniest Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.

Score: 10995
Funny Mexican Jokes
Score: 2779

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres.



**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

Score: 2360

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

Score: 2136

Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 2050

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

Score: 1977

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

Score: 1720

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Score: 1499

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks

Score: 1468

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

Score: 1450

Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks

Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo

Score: 1298

Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition.

Score: 1225

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

Score: 1029

Why did the Mexican man take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 1007

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

Score: 978

Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.

Score: 929

I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Score: 739

Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show. He counted:

“Uno...”

“Dos...”

And disappeared without a trace.

Score: 713

A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three.

He began counting "Uno, dos..."

And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 663

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose.

Score: 637

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans

Score: 593

I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends. It means a lot to them.

Score: 573

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth. Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Score: 526

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

Score: 515

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.

Score: 463

The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

Score: 462

What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids

Score: 457

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator

Score: 453

A Mexican magician was performing on stage He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three,

"Uno"
"Dos"

And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres

Score: 425

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who's run out of protein powder? No whey José

Score: 374

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

Score: 77

I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.

Score: 46

Why are all Mexican jokes and Black jokes the same? Because once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Score: 41

What do you call a boxing match between a Mexican and a priest? Alien vs. Predator

Score: 38

What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 31

Did you hear about the insane Mexican train saboteur? They say he had some real loco-motives.

(I know, it's pure genius, and totally original.)

Score: 27

My Mexican friends always drink their drinks warm... it's like they're afraid of ICE or something.

Score: 26

What you call a fight between a Mexican and a Priest? Alien vs Predator

Score: 25

Why do you never play uno with a mexican? Because they will steal all the green cards.

Score: 25

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New Mexican Jokes

Heard this joke in middle school 25 years ago- What did the Mexican gangster say when two houses fell on top of him? "Get off me homes"

Score: 2

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear in the count of three..... He says
Uno.....
Dos.....
*Poof* He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 3

What does a Mexican say when you try to give them soybeans? No edamames, guey.

Score: 2

I’m sick of all these Mexican and black jokes Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

Score: 3

Why wouldn’t you call a short Mexican a paragraph Because it’s not a full essay

Score: 3

At the end of a Mexican magician's act he tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3. He exclaimed, "Uno... dos..." and he was gone. He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 2

(Offensive) A black person and a mexican are in a car, who is driving? The police

Score: 3

What's worse than yelling FIRE in a mexican neighborhood? ICE

Score: 11

A Mexican serial killer killed dos people He never even left a tres

Score: 7

what do u call a Mexican gardener Jose

Score: 5

What song does Trump play while going to a Mexican family's house? Ice Ice, Baby.

Score: 4

What do you call a minimum 3 page assignment for homework given to you by your mexican teacher? Essay

Score: 2

Why did the Mexican gangster fail school? Because he wouldn’t turn in his ese.

Score: 5

My two Mexican friends decided to see who's the best at basketball They played Juan on Juan

Score: 4

What did the Mexican fireman call his sons? Jose and Hose B.

Score: 3

How do you get out of a Mexican jail? Taco Bail

Score: 3

What do you call two mexican clones playing basketball? Juan on Juan

Score: 5

I wanted Mexican food, but I was in a hurry So I ordered it ta-co

Score: 3

Who do Mexican people who love weed marry?? They Marry Juana

Score: 2

After work I tried to smoke with my Mexican coworker After I asked if he had papers he ran

Score: 2

My buddy is dating this girl who loves Mexican food and Picasso She's kinda of artsy fartsy.

Score: 2

Why did the Mexican get fired from the firestation? He couldn't tell the difference between Jose and Hose 'B'.

Score: 2

Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

Score: 13

What did the Mexican firefighter name his three children? Hose A, Hose B, and Hose C

Score: 1

What's the best deal you can get in the Mexican slave trade? Buy Juan, get Juan free!

Score: 1

I recently bought the cutest little soup holding device with a certain Mexican explorer on it. It was a Dora bowl.

Score: 2

You know, I agree with Trump about refugees... ...we can't just let all of these Syrians come into America and take all of our Mexican people's jobs!

Score: 3

Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.

Score: 4

Black people and Mexican people are so similar... Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

Score: 1

What does Trump do to a Mexican Bathroom? He deports-a-potty!

Score: 1

Senator John McCain is Pro-Mexican Deportation and Pro-Trump Wall. He hates the Mexicans because of what they did to him and his men at the Alamo.

Score: 1

What does a mexican say to his son when he wants him ti get married? Marihuana

Score: 1

There was a mexican and a black person in a car. Who is driving? A cop.

Score: 9

What did the Mexican say after his house fell on him? Get off me homes.

Score: 1

A Mexican and a Black woman are in a car together, who's driving? Neither, they live there.

EDIT: Toyota Corolla

Score: 1

What did the Mexican name his 2 sons "Jose and Hose B"

Score: 1

When's ladies' night at the Mexican restaurant? Taco Tuesday

Score: 2

What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto

Score: 12

What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street

Score: 4

Why does the Mexican guy takes xanax? For hispanic attacks...

Score: 7

Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall.

Score: 1

What do you call a little Mexican child? A paragraph, because he's too short to be an essay.

Score: 8

In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican.
In the bathroom European.

Score: 4

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long? Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

Score: 4

Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food? It has a wall around it.

Score: 2

Why don't Mexican seagulls like Trump? Because, they're illeagulls.

Score: 1

I came here to tell a Mexican joke But that could be crossing a line.

Score: 5

What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything? Señor Manager

Score: 1

What do you call a Mexican Disney Princess? A Taco Belle.

Score: 3

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Texan walk into a bar. I wish I had friends to go to the bar with.

Score: 5

What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo? The second coming of Jesús.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the Mexican man who went to the old people home to visit his grandpa? See senior.

Score: 1

Why don't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they take all the green cards.
(friend at work told me this gem)

Score: 2

A mexican boy in english class... A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

To which he replied, "writing an esé"

Score: 5

What did the Mexican use to cut his pizza? little caesars

Score: 2

A mexican magician says to the audience he will dissapear on the count if 3 Uno...dos...*poof*


He disappeared without a tres

Score: 10

What do you call the Mexican version of the NSA? Jalapeno Business...........

Score: 6

What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar? A payday

Score: 7

Do you know why I stopped playing Uno with my Mexican friends? They steal all the green cards.

Score: 4

What did the mexican say to the Highlander? There can only be Juan.

Score: 4

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