Mexican Jokes

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Funniest Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.

Score: 10995
Funny Mexican Jokes
Score: 2779

A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres.



**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

Score: 2360

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

Score: 2136

Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 2050

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

Score: 1977

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

Score: 1720

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Score: 1499

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks

Score: 1468

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

Score: 1450

Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks

Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo

Score: 1298

Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition.

Score: 1225

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

Score: 1029

Why did the Mexican man take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 1007

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

Score: 978

Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.

Score: 929

I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Score: 739

Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show. He counted:

“Uno...”

“Dos...”

And disappeared without a trace.

Score: 713

A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three.

He began counting "Uno, dos..."

And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 663

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose.

Score: 637

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans

Score: 593

I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends. It means a lot to them.

Score: 573

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth. Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Score: 526

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

Score: 515

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.

Score: 463

The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

Score: 462

What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids

Score: 457

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator

Score: 453

A Mexican magician was performing on stage He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three,

"Uno"
"Dos"

And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres

Score: 425

What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car? Carlos...

Score: 370

What is a drunk Mexican's favourite book? Tequila Mockingbird.

Score: 96

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

Score: 77

I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.

Score: 46

What book does every Mexican student read in school? Tequila Mockingbird.

Score: 45

Why are all Mexican jokes and Black jokes the same? Because once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Score: 41

What do you call a boxing match between a Mexican and a priest? Alien vs. Predator

Score: 38

A jew and a mexican are talking... The jew says, "lemme ask you something, are theres jews in mexico?"

The mexican replies "oh yes my friend, plenty of jews...apple jews, orange jews, and tomato jews."

Score: 34

What do you call an elderly Mexican man? A senõr citizen

Score: 33

What is a Mexican's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird

Score: 32

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New Mexican Jokes

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear in the count of three..... He says
Uno.....
Dos.....
*Poof* He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 3

A Mexican magician tells the audience, "I will disappear on the count of 3" he starts his countdown, "Uno.... Dos..." then suddenly disappeared without a tres.

Score: 5

Why are waiters in Mexican restaurants so nosy? Because they get jalapeno business!

Score: 3

What’s the best tool in the Mexican Magician’s arsenal? His Magic Juan.

Score: 10

I’m sick of all these Mexican and black jokes Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

Score: 3

My Mexican friends always drink their drinks warm... it's like they're afraid of ICE or something.

Score: 26

Why did the Mexican need a Xanax? For HISpanic attacks.

Score: 6

(Offensive) A black person and a mexican are in a car, who is driving? The police

Score: 3

What's worse than yelling FIRE in a mexican neighborhood? ICE

Score: 11

A Mexican serial killer killed dos people He never even left a tres

Score: 7

What’s a mexican’s favorite book? Tequila mockingbird

Score: 7

Why did the Mexican gangster fail school? Because he wouldn’t turn in his ese.

Score: 5

What did the Mexican fireman call his sons? Jose and Hose B.

Score: 3

Cop spots a guy driving past with a South American plate. He's eating some kind of Mexican food and has no clothes on! He pulls him over and asks, "Where are you from? What are you eating? Aren't you cold?" "Chilly", he replies.

Score: 26

What do you call a Mexican who lost his big toe and replaced it with a rubber prostheses? Roberto.

Score: 8

Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? Because they take all the green cards.

Score: 6

I decided to open up a Mexican soul food restaurant. It's called Nacho Mama's!

Score: 3

How do you get out of a Mexican jail? Taco Bail

Score: 3

Why do you call when mexican twins fight? Juan on Juan match

Score: 3

What kind of tooth brush does a Mexican New Yorker use? Orale-B

Score: 4

What do you call two mexican clones playing basketball? Juan on Juan

Score: 5

I wanted Mexican food, but I was in a hurry So I ordered it ta-co

Score: 3

My dad’s Mexican and my mom’s Canadian... But I don’t wanna taco boot it

Score: 6

What is a drunk Mexican’s favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird

Score: 15

What you call a fight between a Mexican and a Priest? Alien vs Predator

Score: 25

I'm starting a private Mexican restaurant. It's called Nacho Business.

Score: 5

Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

Score: 13

What do Mexican kids read in middle school? Tequila Mockingbird.

Score: 31

You know, I agree with Trump about refugees... ...we can't just let all of these Syrians come into America and take all of our Mexican people's jobs!

Score: 3

Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.

Score: 4

What does a Mexican bachelor make for dinner? Dinner for Juan.

Score: 8

I had to stop playing UNO with my Mexican friends... They kept taking all the Green Cards.

Score: 8

What's a Mexican's favourite novel? Tequila Mockingbird.


(I'm sure this joke has been made before, but I thought it up this morning.)

Score: 6

A Mexican gets arrested at the US border When the Immigration officer interrogates him, he asks, "how many people were you travelling with?"

"Only Juan", the Mexican replies.

Score: 2

What do you call a Mexican gaming console? An Xbox Juan

Score: 2

I don't play Uno with my Mexican friends.. They're always stealing the green cards.

Score: 13

Why shouldn't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'd steal all the green cards.

Score: 2

What do fat white girls and bricks have in common? Chances are they were laid by a Mexican

Score: 3

Did here about the Mexican fireman who had twins? He named them Jose and Hose B

Score: 3

What did the homeless Mexican bodybuilder say when he ran out of protein? No whey, homes.

Score: 4

What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto

Score: 12

What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street

Score: 4

What do you call the smell of leftover Mexican food in your car? A Texas air freshener.

Score: 5

Why did Bob the Builder vote for Trump? A Mexican handyman took his job.

Score: 2

Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food? It has a wall around it.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor who killed everyone? He had locomotives.

Score: 8

Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March? They only had 2 trucks.

Score: 15

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot? Because it was Pablo-matic

Score: 2

What does an elderly Mexican have? Señority

Score: 8

What did the Mexican name his two dicks? Jose and Hose B

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican? A Mexican moose

Score: 4

My coworker is a Mexican electrical engineer… total ohm-bre.

Score: 2

Did you know the first sniper was a Mexican? Juan shot, Juan kill.

Score: 6

What do you call a Mexican child molester? A Pedrophile.

Score: 16

Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

Score: 14

Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her "essay".

Score: 4

A Mexican plays uno, And steals all the green cards..

Score: 4

What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 31

A Friend Of Mine Asked Why The Mexican's Never Do Great In The Olympics I looked at him and said, "Well Tommy, you see, all the ones that can run, jump, or swim, are already in America."

Score: 19

Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay

Score: 21

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