Mexican Jokes


Funniest Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.

Score: 10995
Funny Mexican Jokes
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A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres.

**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

Score: 2360

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

Score: 2136

Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 2050

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

Score: 1977

What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

Score: 1720

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Score: 1499

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks

Score: 1468

What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

Score: 1450

Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks

Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo

Score: 1298

Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition.

Score: 1225

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

Score: 1029

Why did the Mexican man take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

Score: 1007

I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

Score: 978

Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.

Score: 929

I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Score: 739

Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show. He counted:



And disappeared without a trace.

Score: 713

A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three.

He began counting "Uno, dos..."

And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 663

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose.

Score: 637

Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans

Score: 593

I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends. It means a lot to them.

Score: 573

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth. Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Score: 526

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

Score: 515

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.

Score: 463

The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

Score: 462

What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids

Score: 457

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator

Score: 453

A Mexican magician was performing on stage He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three,


And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres

Score: 425

Mexican and black jokes are way too similar now.. You've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Score: 186

Why was Donald Trump watching the Summer Olympics? To see how high the Mexican pole vaulters could go

Score: 159

Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

Score: 122

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

Score: 77

I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.

Score: 46

What do you call a boxing match between a Mexican and a priest? Alien vs. Predator

Score: 38

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons? Jose and Hose B

Score: 29

My Mexican friends always drink their drinks warm... it's like they're afraid of ICE or something.

Score: 26

What you call a fight between a Mexican and a Priest? Alien vs Predator

Score: 25

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off of a cliff? Tequila.

Score: 22

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New Mexican Jokes

Heard this joke in middle school 25 years ago- What did the Mexican gangster say when two houses fell on top of him? "Get off me homes"

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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear in the count of three..... He says
*Poof* He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 3

What does a Mexican say when you try to give them soybeans? No edamames, guey.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the Mexican firefighter's twin sons? He named them Hose A and Hose B.

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I’m sick of all these Mexican and black jokes Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

Score: 3

Why wouldn’t you call a short Mexican a paragraph Because it’s not a full essay

Score: 3

At the end of a Mexican magician's act he tells his audience that he will disappear on the count of 3. He exclaimed, "Uno... dos..." and he was gone. He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 2

(Offensive) A black person and a mexican are in a car, who is driving? The police

Score: 3

What's worse than yelling FIRE in a mexican neighborhood? ICE

Score: 11

A Mexican serial killer killed dos people He never even left a tres

Score: 7

what do u call a Mexican gardener Jose

Score: 5

What song does Trump play while going to a Mexican family's house? Ice Ice, Baby.

Score: 4

What do you call a minimum 3 page assignment for homework given to you by your mexican teacher? Essay

Score: 2

Why did the Mexican gangster fail school? Because he wouldn’t turn in his ese.

Score: 5

What did the Mexican fireman call his sons? Jose and Hose B.

Score: 3

How do you get out of a Mexican jail? Taco Bail

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What kind of tooth brush does a Mexican New Yorker use? Orale-B

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What do you call two mexican clones playing basketball? Juan on Juan

Score: 5

I wanted Mexican food, but I was in a hurry So I ordered it ta-co

Score: 3

Who do Mexican people who love weed marry?? They Marry Juana

Score: 2

My dad’s Mexican and my mom’s Canadian... But I don’t wanna taco boot it

Score: 6

After work I tried to smoke with my Mexican coworker After I asked if he had papers he ran

Score: 2

Why did the Mexican get fired from the firestation? He couldn't tell the difference between Jose and Hose 'B'.

Score: 2

I recently bought the cutest little soup holding device with a certain Mexican explorer on it. It was a Dora bowl.

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You know, I agree with Trump about refugees... ...we can't just let all of these Syrians come into America and take all of our Mexican people's jobs!

Score: 3

What do you call a patriotic Mexican? A nachonalist

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Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.

Score: 4

What does a Mexican bachelor make for dinner? Dinner for Juan.

Score: 8

What do you call a Mexican that got into Harvard? A student...

Score: 11

What does a mexican say to his son when he wants him ti get married? Marihuana

Score: 1

Tried mixing Mexican alcohol with 20th century American literature last night… Ended up with tequila mockingbird.

Score: 1

What did the Mexican say after his house fell on him? Get off me homes.

Score: 1

What do you call a Mexican gaming console? An Xbox Juan

Score: 2

What do fat white girls and bricks have in common? Chances are they were laid by a Mexican

Score: 3

Did here about the Mexican fireman who had twins? He named them Jose and Hose B

Score: 3

What did the Mexican name his 2 sons "Jose and Hose B"

Score: 1

What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto

Score: 12

What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street

Score: 4

Why did Bob the Builder vote for Trump? A Mexican handyman took his job.

Score: 2

Why does the Mexican guy takes xanax? For hispanic attacks...

Score: 7

Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall.

Score: 1

A white friend, a Mexican friend, and I go trick or treating... My white friend is Donald Trump, I'm a wall, and my Mexican friend is on the other side.

Score: 1

What do you call a little Mexican child? A paragraph, because he's too short to be an essay.

Score: 8

In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican.
In the bathroom European.

Score: 4

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long? Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

Score: 4

Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food? It has a wall around it.

Score: 2

Why don't Mexican seagulls like Trump? Because, they're illeagulls.

Score: 1

I came here to tell a Mexican joke But that could be crossing a line.

Score: 5

What do you call a top-ranking Mexican dude that oversees everything? Señor Manager

Score: 1

What do you call a Mexican Disney Princess? A Taco Belle.

Score: 3

What does an elderly Mexican have? Señority

Score: 8

The Mexican word of the day is "wheelchair" "Yo homes, I got a lot of pizza. Want some? Come sit down and wheelchair"

Score: 2

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Texan walk into a bar. I wish I had friends to go to the bar with.

Score: 5

Did you hear about the Mexican man who went to the old people home to visit his grandpa? See senior.

Score: 1

My coworker is a Mexican electrical engineer… total ohm-bre.

Score: 2

A mexican boy in english class... A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

To which he replied, "writing an esé"

Score: 5

A mexican magician says to the audience he will dissapear on the count if 3 Uno...dos...*poof*

He disappeared without a tres

Score: 10

A redneck looks at a Mexican right in the eye and says, "how does it feel to marry my ex wife and have my sloppy seconds?" "not bad," replies Juan,"after 2.5 inches deep she felt brand new"

Score: 1

What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons? Jose and Josb

Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it

Score: 5

What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar? A payday

Score: 7

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