Hilarious Mexican Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.

Score: 10995

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A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres.

**edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!

Score: 2360

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal...

Score: 2136

Why did the Mexican take xanax? Hispanic attacks.

Score: 2050

How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*

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What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.

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I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

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My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks

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What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay

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Why does the Mexican guy take xanax? For hispanic attacks

Edit: Happy Cinco de Mayo

Score: 1298

Why is Trump so keen to build a wall to keep out Mexican rapists? He's afraid of the competition.

Score: 1225

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

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Why did the Mexican man take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks

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I was about to smoke weed with a couple cute Mexican girls... I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.

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Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.

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I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, “ Eh. I’ll get over it.”

Score: 739

Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show. He counted:

“Uno...”

“Dos...”

And disappeared without a trace.

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A Mexican Magician... ...told his audience he'd disappear on the count of three.

He began counting "Uno, dos..."

And he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 663

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose.

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Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans

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I’ve been saying “mucho” to all of my Mexican friends. It means a lot to them.

Score: 573

The illegals protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth. Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

Score: 526

A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says "uno... dos..." *poof*! and disappears without a tres.

Score: 515

I asked my Mexican friend if he was upset about Trump's wall... He said, "Eh, I'll get over it."

Score: 480

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives.

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The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres.

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What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids

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What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) Alien vs. Predator

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A Mexican magician was performing on stage He tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three,

"Uno"
"Dos"

And then he vanished, and disappeared without a tres

Score: 425

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who's run out of protein powder? No whey José

Score: 374

What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car? Carlos...

Score: 370

A Mexican attempts to pass the border A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."

The Mexican replied, "Scissors."

The border control officer replied,"Dammit! Well, you're free to go!"

Score: 231

What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."

Score: 214

Ban????? "How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"

"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."

"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"

Score: 202

Mexican and black jokes are way too similar now.. You've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Score: 186

Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!

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What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a priest? Alien vs predator

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A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. "Uno"
"Dos"
**Poof!**

The magician disappeared without a tres

Score: 108

Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened? Hispanic Room

Score: 106

New Mexican Jokes

My Mexican friends always drink their drinks warm... it's like they're afraid of ICE or something.

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What you call a fight between a Mexican and a Priest? Alien vs Predator

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Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

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Why do you never play UNO with a Mexican? They always take the green cards.

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What is a Mexican's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird

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A short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.

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Black jokes, Mexican jokes, they're all the same.. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal..

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A Mexican magician came up to me and said "I can disappear in 3 seconds" "uno"

"dos"

...

he disappeared without a tres.

Score: 62

What do you call a mexican who has lost his car ? Carlos

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A Mexican magician A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." *poof*. He disappeared without a tres.

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A Mexican magician said he was going to do a magic trick. "Uno, dos..." *poof* he disappeared without a tres.

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What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph. He's too short to be an essay.

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I witnessed a Mexican Standoff the other day. It was Juan v Juan.

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Why does Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high the Mexican pole vaulters can go

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Never play uno with a Mexican They take all the green cards

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Why did the Mexican man throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila

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Black jokes are just like Mexican jokes... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

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Did you hear about the Mexican Train Murder? They said he had a loco motive.

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All neighborhoods are predominantly Mexican. Until they're done being built.

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A Mexican magician once counted... Uno, dos and vanished without a tres.

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What is a drunk Mexican's favourite book? Tequila Mockingbird.

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A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, “I want to be President one day.” Trump says, “Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?” The kid replies, “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.”

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What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph. Because it's only half an esse.

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Why are there so many Mexican jokes but no black jokes? Once you know Juan, you know Jamal

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Why did the Mexican man push his wife off of a cliff? Tequila.

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What book does every Mexican student read in school? Tequila Mockingbird.

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What do you call it when a Mexican man shoots himself? a hole in Juan

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A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof! He disappears without a tres.

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Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.

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What do you call a midget mexican? A Paragraph, because hes to short to be an essay

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A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." POOF.

He disappeared without a tres.

Score: 79

I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl... Until I asked her if she had papers, she immediately ran off.

Score: 18

What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not a full ese yet.

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A Mexican magician is performing He says,"On the count of three I will disappear." He starts counting,"Unos.... Dos...." *Poof!* And he disappeared without a tres

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What do you call a Mexican on a bike? A bmxican

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a mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. he says "uno, dos... *poof*... he disappears without a tres.

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Why are black jokes and mexican jokes the same? Because once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal!

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What do you call a midget Mexican? A paragraph, because he's just a partial essay

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Why did the Mexican take Valium? For Hispanic attacks

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There was a mexican magician... ...Who said "On the count of three, I will vanish!"

And so he counted, "Uno... Dos..."

And then he vanished, without a tres.

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How did the mexican girl get pregnant? The teacher told her to make an essay.

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I could tell you a Mexican joke but it would cross the border.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!

Score: 17

Guy walks into a Mexican restaurant but he's not that hungry... And they serve free tortilla chips. He asks for one chip and they give it to him. He swipes his credit card, and nothing happens. The employee looks at him and says, "Dude... it's a chip."

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What did you call a Mexican snake? Hisssspanic

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What do you call a Mexican with no protein? No Whey José

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What do you get if you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan.

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I know Mexican judo Judo know if I have a knife.
Judo know if I have a gun.

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Why cant a Mexican man sleep with three women at once? Fear of over dos

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Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

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What did the mexican fireman name his 2 children? Jose and Hose B

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An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

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Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily? It was a no buena

My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!

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How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math? Carry the Juan

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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "Uno, dos..." And poof! He disappears without a tres.

Score: 49

Why do you never play uno with a mexican? Because they will steal all the green cards.

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Why are all Mexican jokes and Black jokes the same? Because once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Score: 41

I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club. I shot a hole in Juan.

Score: 46

What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 31

Did you hear about the insane Mexican train saboteur? They say he had some real loco-motives.

(I know, it's pure genius, and totally original.)

Score: 27