Donald Trump Jokes


Funniest Donald Trump Jokes

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."

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Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'

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Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

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Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

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What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

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How do you get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb? You tell him Barack Obama installed it.

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Funny Donald Trump Jokes
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Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

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What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

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How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence.

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If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

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Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump He said "Genius"

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Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

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Hitler died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946... Coincidence? No.

Mystery? Maybe.

Hotel? Trivago.

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Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

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Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

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So Donald Trump walks into a bar... and lowers it

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Why did Donald Trump take Xanax For Hispanic attacks

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Why can't Donald Trump be hung for treason? Fake Noose

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Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

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Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an "alternative romantic."

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Found in your cell, unresponsive.

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Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America

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If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea... Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

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Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks.

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... ...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

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America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupée for it.

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Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...

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What did Donald Trump say after his attempt to hang himself failed? "Fake Noose!"

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If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black

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So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a debate... America says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.

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Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

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If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?

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What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one.

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Donald Trump is not actually a member of the Republican Party He's a *Whig*

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New Donald Trump Jokes

Melania Trump getting CoronaVirus from Donald Trump is proof that the virus still spreads even when you do your best to avoid all forms of physical contact and stay 6 feet away from the infected at all times

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What would be Donald Trump's mafia nickname? Donny Small Hands

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Mike Pence and Donald Trump are getting coffee. Trump: I will have less sugars.
Pence: Actually boss, it’s fewer.
Trump: I told you not to call me that outside of the bedroom.

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Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, " The less immigrants we let in the better". Mike Pence says, "The fewer".

Donald Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet"

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The United States Post Office has issued a recall of the official Donald Trump Presidential stamp People were too confused about which side to spit on

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are sitting in a boat. The boat sinks. Who survives? America.

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TIL there is a cocktail named after Donald Trump Moscow Mule

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What did Donald Trump say to the people that tried unsuccesfully to hang him? Fake noose

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Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

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If Donald Trump talks about "fake news" during the State of the Union... Does that make it the State of the Onion

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What's the most likely kind of attack to happen while Donald Trump is President of the United States of America? A heart attack.

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Whats Donald Trumps favorite Christmas movie? White Christmas.

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What would Donald Trump say if Americas' cyber security was in danger? "We need to build a firewall."

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What did Donald Trump say when he matched King Jong Un on tinder? Send Nukes

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CNN reported Donald Trump's suicide today. He didn't really kill himself, it was fake noose.

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You can tell Donald Trump is a real estate developer Because he constantly digs himself into giant holes

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What's Donald Trump's favourite day of the year? 1st April - everything's fake news.

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Why does Donald Trump hate deadpool so much? He keeps breaking the fourth wall.

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Is Donald Trump sleazier than Bill Clinton? Close, but no cigar.

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If I had a dollar for every racist thing Donald Trump has said... He'd be cutting my taxes.

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What is the difference between Donald Trump and Kanye West? 4 years.

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Donald Trump unveiled the name of his new healthcare plan today. It's called Don T. Care

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What does Donald Trump and a 12 year old have in common? They know a lot about hacking.

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How much is Donald Trump's life insurance worth? One Pence

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How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

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Did you hear Donald Trump's plan for combatting global warming? Nuclear winter

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What do you call a dog owned by Donald Trump? A trumpet.

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Why is Monica Lewinsky voting for Donald Trump? Because a Clinton left a very bad taste in her mouth.

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Donald Trump was just issued a notice by the IRS Ordering him toupee up.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*

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How does Donald trump kill himself? By jumping from his ego to his IQ

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Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall? They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.

Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.

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What's got 2 thumbs and is worse than Donald Trump? No, seriously. I'm asking.

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How will Donald Trump deport 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by juan.

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If Donald Trump becomes president... Does that make orange the new black?

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Hitler? Hitler had a plan.

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Did you hear Donald Trump was in a fantasy action movie? He was the White Power ranger

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a frozen lake. They weren't talking so I decided to go over and break the ice.

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Bounty Towels have declined making a Donald Trump Towel The company explained that it was impossible to make the towel because Donald Trump was already too self-absorbed.

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Why does Donald Trump hate Casper the ghost? Because he can go through walls.

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How does Donald Trump plan to silence the terrorists? Muzzle 'em

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Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food? It has a wall around it.

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What's Donald Trumps favourite album? The Wall.

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How will Donald Trump build such a huge wall ​without congressional approval​​? By forcing every Juan to work on it.

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I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population

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Why Donald Trump might win the election but resign on the first day? He finds out he has to move in to a small house in a black neighborhood​​!

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Why is Donald Trump popular in the Antarctic and Arctic? Because he's doing well in the poles.

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump Are Sinking On A Cruise Ship, Who Survives? America

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Donald Trump intends to make the slicing of cheese illegal. It's part of his plan to make America grate again.

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What is the only way to stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton run for president. Who loses? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running for Presidency. Who will win? Certainly not the people.

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What happened to Donald Trump when he visited Switzerland? He Felt the Bern

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What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

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Donald Trump Simulator was just released! It's the prequel to the Fallout series.

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So Donald Trump wants Barack Obama and Bill Gates to talk about shutting down the internet. Shouldn't Al Gore be a part of that conversation?

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Donald Trump is a proof that internet comments can turn into a human and run for a president

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Hey, look over there, is that a bobble head doll of Donald Trump? No, that's Donald Trump

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What would the war be called if Donald Trump started war on the Mexicans? World war Juan

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Donald Trump has just announced a massive jobs program involving tax credits for shredded cheese factories. He says he wants to "make America grate again."

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