Donald Trump Jokes

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Funniest Donald Trump Jokes

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."

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Donald Trump was asked what the J in Donald J Trump stood for He said 'Genius'

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Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

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Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But its a silly comparison really, its like comparing apples to oranges.

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What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

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How do you get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb? You tell him Barack Obama installed it.

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Funny Donald Trump Jokes
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Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

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What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

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How much is Donald Trump's life insurance? Just one pence.

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If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though.

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Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump He said "Genius"

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Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

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Hitler died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946... Coincidence? No.

Mystery? Maybe.

Hotel? Trivago.

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Donald Trump just turned 73 which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

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Donald Trump is the next President but... The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

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So Donald Trump walks into a bar... and lowers it

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Why did Donald Trump take Xanax For Hispanic attacks

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Why can't Donald Trump be hung for treason? Fake Noose

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Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant? Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

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Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an "alternative romantic."

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Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation. I did and we do.

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What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Found in your cell, unresponsive.

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Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America

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If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea... Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

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Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks.

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If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

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A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... ...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

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America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupée for it.

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Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it...

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If Donald Trump wins I'm going back to Africa For some political stability..

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If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."

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If Donald Trump replaces Barack Obama in the White House Does that mean that orange is the new black?

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump get into a car accident. Who survives? America

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What is Donald Trump’s least favorite flavor of ice cream? Peach Mint.

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Man, Saturday Night Live has really been going after Donald Trump lately I guess it makes sense though, since Donald is such a sketchy guy

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What's the difference between a Donald Trump and Ellen Pao? Edit: Trump can ruin a business right.

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What's Donald Trump's favourite day of the year? 1st April - everything's fake news.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting all the illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan.

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New Donald Trump Jokes

What is Donald Trump's favorite Alcoholic drink? A White Russian.

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Why is Donald Trump always in the comments? Because the real joke is always in the comments.

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Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, " The less immigrants we let in the better". Mike Pence says, "The fewer".

Donald Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet"

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Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, "The less immigrants we let in the better". Pence says, "The fewer".

Trump says, " I told you not to call me that yet".

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Donald trump and Hilary Clinton are in a plane, the plane crashes who survives? America.

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The United States Post Office has issued a recall of the official Donald Trump Presidential stamp People were too confused about which side to spit on

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes, who survives? America.

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President Donald Trump is going to launch the "Space Force". Surprising for a guy who hates aliens

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What’s Donald Trumps favourite form of contraception? The pull out method.

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Some say Donald Trump is a terrible joke of a president. Some say that's the reason he won in the first place. So by that logic, there's only one person who can be the next president. The bus driver.

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TIL there is a cocktail named after Donald Trump Moscow Mule

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What did Donald Trump say to the people that tried unsuccesfully to hang him? Fake noose

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Donald Trump is an amazing real estate investor. His New York properties are so hot right now!

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Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump? Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

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What's the most likely kind of attack to happen while Donald Trump is President of the United States of America? A heart attack.

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Why did Donald Trump keep adding decorations to the Christmas Tree? Because people kept shouting "moron" at him.

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Whats Donald Trumps favorite Christmas movie? White Christmas.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a pumpkin? Both are orange and wrinkled but a pumpkin has thicker skin.

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What would Donald Trump say if Americas' cyber security was in danger? "We need to build a firewall."

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Why did Donald Trump decide not to build The Wall and just take a Xanax instead? Because it's a cheaper and faster cure for hispanic attacks.

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Did you hear that Donald Trump ripped up the Paris Agreement today? Unfortunately he grabbed the wrong one, and now the US is a British colony again.

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You can tell Donald Trump is a real estate developer Because he constantly digs himself into giant holes

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There's a new The President show on Comedy Central starting the 27th about Donald Trump We can just watch Fox News until then.

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Donald Trump is doing his best to stop global warming He is greatly expanding ICE

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Why does Donald Trump hate deadpool so much? He keeps breaking the fourth wall.

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Why is Donald Trump not a fan of League of Legends? Because there's too much Faker news.

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Is Donald Trump sleazier than Bill Clinton? Close, but no cigar.

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What is the difference between Donald Trump and Kanye West? 4 years.

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Donald Trump unveiled the name of his new healthcare plan today. It's called Don T. Care

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I, for one, am proud of Donald Trump for paying those hookers to pee on each other. He finally paid a contractor

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What is Donald Trumps least favorite day of the week? Taco Tuesday.

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Russia admitted today to hacking the DNC in an attempt to get Donald Trump elected They went on to say that they decided not to take any action, however, once they saw Hillary Clinton's campaign strategy.

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What Christmas carol will Donald Trump be singing all month? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

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Donald Trump is writing a children's book about running for President He's going to title it, "Marco's Little Adventure"

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There was just an assassination attempt against Donald Trump... the terrorists found out that he was going to be appearing with Chris Christy and they replaced his bronzer with BBQ sauce.

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How will Donald Trump create 25 millions jobs? By having 25 million people move to Canada.

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I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day... ... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room.

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I don't think Donald Trump realizes how strong and unified Latinos are... Every Latino is like a brick. When they come together they form a wall.

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How does Donald Trump keep a handle on integral equations? He grabs them by the +c.

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Two costumes are gonna be super popular this year: Donald Trump and Scary Clown. It's gonna be hard to say which is which.

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Why is Monica Lewinsky voting for Donald Trump? Because a Clinton left a very bad taste in her mouth.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a car. The car crashes. Who survived? *America.*

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How does Donald trump kill himself? By jumping from his ego to his IQ

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Donald Trump in a submarine Soldier " Sir! The enemy is attacking, we're under fire!"

Trump "relax soldier... We're under water..."

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How will Donald Trump deport 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by juan.

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Donald Trump is getting back into the air travel industry... He's launching...Receding Hairlines

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Monica Lewinski released a statement that said she would be voting for Donald Trump the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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What's Donald Trumps favorite Pink Floyd album The wall

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Donald Trump loves Latino Culture Just ask him about his favorite band Hispanic! at the Disco.

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Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food? It has a wall around it.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd Album? The Dark Side of the Moon... What a filthy casual.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a car wreck, who survives? America.

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What's Donald Trumps's favorite Christmas carol? White Christmas

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Donald trump wants to run for president, Why not? Wouldn't be the first time he's pushed a black family out of their home.

(Snoop Dogg - /u/Here_Comes_The_King )

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What is Donald Trump's least favorite Candy? Jelly Beaners

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton run for president. Who loses? America.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are running for Presidency. Who will win? Certainly not the people.

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What bill is supported by Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders? The dollar bill

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Where is Donald Trump gonna put all of the illegal immigrants once he arrests them? Juantanamo

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What is the difference between Donald Trump and Chris Christie? When things go south,Trump burns bridges, Christie just shuts them down.

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