“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled... “You herd me.”
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
A small joke I remembered
Boss: if I find you sleeping on the job one more time, you're fired!
Employee: sorry boss
Boss: ok, now go and do the sheep inventory
Employee: oh no
What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
.... gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer:
*"All 40 accounted for"*
*"But I only have 36 sheep"* says the confused farmer
*"Yeah I know"* says the sheepdog. *"I rounded them up".*
I was in a field and this farmer came up to me and said " I got 68 sheep can you round them up for me ?"... I said "Sure 70" ...
A Welshman died at the weekend... Friends say he died the way he would have wanted; comfortably in his sheep
After a talking sheepdog returns all the sheep to the pen
he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 sheep accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep.” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “I rounded them up.”
Just saw a sheep fight a cow Looks like they were in a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
[Little bit racist] why do New Zealanders... Have insomnia? Because every time they start counting sheep they get too horny to sleep.
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters.
How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass?
How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass?
Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!
Short joke I thought of.
What's the difference between sheep and women?
The Welsh don't know yet either.
Dog and sheep
Shepherd: did you count all the sheep.
Dog: yes there are 40 sheep.
Shepherd: 40? I thought we had 38 sheep.
Dog: yes I rounded them up.
I wrote a movie about a male sheep and his son enjoying a Hostess pastry.
I call it
*Ram, a Lamb, a Ding Dong*
Why did the farmer never know how many sheep he had? Because every time he tried to count them all he fell asleep.
A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, “do you know what I say to sheep like you?... Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.”
Do you know why they wear pants in England but kilts in Scotland? It's because a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.... But goats don't hear so good.
Did you know all sheep have similar music tastes? They all like music types such as Rock and Dubstep. So basically anything that has a lot of baaaaaaass.
So there's this sheep farmer who had money troubles because he wasn't selling a lot of wool. He decided to sell the meat instead... ...needless to say, things went from baa to wurst.
A sheep dog says "That's all 40 sheep." A shepherd says "What we only have 37??" The sheep dog says "I know, i rounded them up"
The police were recently investigating a recent sheep theft.. No onces been charged yet, but police hope to have the criminals behind bahhs soon
# At the end of the day, a Border Collie reported back to the rancher, "All 50 sheep accounted for, boss!"
# "Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
# "I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
A sheperd and his flock of sheep wondered onto his grumpy old neighbors property and got stuck in a fenced area... ...his neighbor told him to hurry and get the flock out.
My friend invented a machine that turns sheep shearings into cherries. If you put in black wool, you get black cherries. If you put in white wool, you get maraschino cherries. Red wool gives you bings.