Husband doing crossword with his wife
Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
H: Pistol, 3 letters.
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
H: Charity, 4 letters.
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
How do you milk sheep? Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.
Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep. Just release a new iphone every year.
How do you milk sheep? With iPhone accessories.
"I love my job!" said the farmer
"All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
"What did you say?" said the farmer.
"You herd me."
How did the farmer find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying.
How do you milk a sheep? Put an apple logo on your product.
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo...
Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss
How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass? Irresistible.
Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
How do you milk a sheep? Put an apple logo on it.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff. BAA-DUMM-TSSS
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tssssss
a sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff.... Baaah-Dum-tsssss
Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers.
Where do sheep get their haircut? At the Bah-Bah-Shop
How do you milk sheep? With iPhones.
A Farmer asked me to round up his 68 sheep I said 'Sure, seventy'.
A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff... *Baah Dum Tssssss*
What do you call 4 sheep tied to a fence in Wales? A Brothel :D
What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.
.... gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer:
*"All 40 accounted for"*
*"But I only have 36 sheep"* says the confused farmer
*"Yeah I know"* says the sheepdog. *"I rounded them up".*
How did the hillbilly find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying
How do you milk a sheep? Bring out a new iPhone.
What do you call a young plastic covered sheep? Laminated
I was in a field and this farmer came up to me and said " I got 68 sheep can you round them up for me ?"... I said "Sure 70" ...
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff. Ba-dum-tss.
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters.
A Sheep, a drum and a snake simultaneously fall from a cliff... Bah Dum Tss
What do you call the horse and sheep who live next door? Your neigh-baas
How do you milk a sheep? With iPhone accessories.
A sheep, drum and snake fall down a cliff. Baa-dum-tss
What do the Scottish people wear kilts? Because sheep can hear the sound of zippers from far away.
How does a Welshman find his sheep in long grass? i r r e s i s t i b l e (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. Baaa-dum-tsss
Why the Scottish wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear the zipper from miles
You're gonna ask me why i have a sheep's skull on my bathroom scale, arent you? Weigh a head of ewe there.
What sound do Welsh sheep make? \#MeeehToo
Where do sheep go for a drink? The baa.
Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Why do the Scotts wear kilts? Because in the Highlands, sheep can hear zippers for *miles*.
How did the Scotsman find his sheep in the tall grass? Delightful.
What religion do sheep practice? Islamb.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fell down a cliff Ba-Dum-Tsss
My Grandpa was a retired Boxer. He had trouble sleeping. He tried counting sheep but everytime he got to 10 he got up.
Where does a sheep go for a haircut? Replied with " at the baaaaaa baaaa shop"
What do you call a sheep tied to lamppost in Wales? A leisure centre.
TIL that the Welsh first made condoms out of sheep intestines The English then improved the idea by taking it out of the animal first
Why does Yoda like sheep? Dey go bah.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tsssss
A farmer came up to me today and said, "I've got 68 sheep, can you round them up for me?" I said, "Sure, 70."
How did the farmer find his sheep in the tall grass?
Very satisfying ;)
(Sorry if this has been here but it was new to me)
What do Dutch sheep do at night? Schleep
Why did the shepherd sleep on the job? Because he was busy counting sheep.
What did the sheep say to the shepherd? Stop it!!! You're herding me!!
A sheep, a drum and a snake all fell down a cliff Ba. Dumm. Tss
We were driving through the Welsh countryside when my little girl said… "Look at that strange animal daddy, man at the back, sheep at the front."
How does a welshman find sheep in long grass? Delightful.
A farmer and his dog are herding sheep.
They finish and his dog says "I have counted 40 sheep".
The farmer replies, "That's odd. I only got 37 ".
The dog replies "Well, I rounded them up".
A sheep a drum and a snake fall down a cliff Ba-dum-tis
A shepard asks his dog
To count the sheep on his farm
The dog goes to count the sheep an comes back
The shepard asked how many sheep do i have?
The dog says 40
The shepard thinks " wait a minute i only had 38 how could that be.
The dog said
" i rounded them up"
What do you call a sheep that jumps? A wooly jumper
What did the sheep say to her abusive shepherd? You're herding me.
A sheep, drum and snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dum-Tss
Where do we get virgin wool? From *ugly* sheep!
A sheep walked into a... "barrrrr" rudely interrupted the sheep.
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear zippers.
-- shamelessly stolen from Cecil Adams
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A wooly jumper (I'll see myself out)
What does ISIS call a barn full of sheep? A brothel
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said "40"
How do you get a sheep to shave itself? Under shear pressure.
If I carved a sheep from this tree trunk, would you buy it bro? Wood ewe?!
Why was the farmer so good at getting wool from his sheep? Sheer determination
/r/Jokes are like sheep. People only care about the cloned sheep.
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
To be fair though, the ones in Ireland are all deaf.
Why do the Scottish wear kilts? So they don't scare the sheep with the sound of a zipper.
Who counts more sheep than mattress companies? Apple Inc.
So I asked a sheep how it is to be a sheep. "Meh..."
Why Do Scottish people wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.
I Can control sheep just by listening to them I herd it with my own ears
How do you milk a sheep? With iPhone periph**e**rals.
As a farmer I've heard lots of jokes about sheep. I told them to my dog but he'd heard them all.
How do you stop rape in West Virginia? kill all the sheep
I was going to make a sheep joke But it just came out baaaaaaaad
A sheep, Don Trump and a snake all fall off a ledge Baa Dumb Tiss!
How does a Welshman find sheep in tall grass? Irresistible.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss
What's the difference...
what's the difference between the rolling stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?
The rolling stones sing "hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"
The Scottish sheep farmers screams "hey! Mac cloud! Get off of my ewe!"
How do you sell a sheep to a deaf person? (yells loudly) DO YOU WANNA A BUY A SHEEP!!!!!!
Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep? Because he was on the lam.
What is the difference between a hyper-active gamer and someone with a predilection of violence towards sheep? One's a button masher, and the other is a mutton basher.
Jokes That don't work written down There were 30 cows in a field, twenty ate sheep, how many didn't?
Why is it so hard for New Zealanders to fall asleep? They're too turned on from counting sheep.
(first) What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper
What's the worst part about being a prostitute in New Zealand? Competing with the sheep.
What are the two biggest lies in Wyoming? My truck is paid for, and honestly officer, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.