Sheep Jokes

Contents

Funniest Sheep Jokes

Husband doing crossword with his wife Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Score: 21999

How do you milk sheep? Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.

Score: 21727

Scientists have discovered a way to milk sheep. Just release a new iphone every year.

Score: 3330

How do you milk sheep? With iPhone accessories.

Score: 2943

"I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.

"What did you say?" said the farmer.

"You herd me."

Score: 1614
Funny Sheep Jokes
Score: 1378

How did the farmer find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying.

Score: 1186

How do you milk a sheep? Put an apple logo on your product.

Score: 1131

Sheep At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"

"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.

"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."

Score: 913

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo...

Score: 885

Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Score: 850

A Sheep, a Drum, and a Snake fall off a cliff Baa-Dumm-Tsss

Score: 644

How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass? Irresistible.

Score: 487

Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Score: 420

How do you milk a sheep? Put an apple logo on it.

Score: 363

A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff. BAA-DUMM-TSSS

Score: 359

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Baa dum tssssss

Score: 352

a sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff.... Baaah-Dum-tsssss

Score: 337

Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear zippers.

Score: 323

Where do sheep get their haircut? At the Bah-Bah-Shop

Score: 279

How do you milk sheep? With iPhones.

Score: 195

A Farmer asked me to round up his 68 sheep I said 'Sure, seventy'.

Score: 179

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff... *Baah Dum Tssssss*

Score: 179

What do you call 4 sheep tied to a fence in Wales? A Brothel :D

Score: 173

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

Score: 161

A sheepdog .... gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer:

*"All 40 accounted for"*

*"But I only have 36 sheep"* says the confused farmer

*"Yeah I know"* says the sheepdog. *"I rounded them up".*

Score: 148

How did the hillbilly find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying

Score: 134

How do you milk a sheep? Bring out a new iPhone.

Score: 123

What do you call a young plastic covered sheep? Laminated

Score: 111

I was in a field and this farmer came up to me and said " I got 68 sheep can you round them up for me ?"... I said "Sure 70" ...

Score: 109

How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.

Score: 105

Short joke I thought of. What's the difference between sheep and women?

The Welsh don't know yet either.

Score: 38

A Sheep, a drum and a snake simultaneously fall from a cliff... Bah Dum Tss

Score: 34

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Score: 32

Why the Scottish wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear the zipper from miles

Score: 19

Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Score: 16

Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Score: 12

What instrument does it sound like when two sheep bleat in unison? The Two-baaa.

Score: 8

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Score: 7

What do you call dentures made for sheep? Lamb chops!

Score: 5

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New Sheep Jokes

What did the sheep do when it saw a wolf near them? It cried wolf.

Score: 0

I fell asleep on the ground while cutting the coat of my sheep. It was so comfortable. It was shear bedlam.

Score: 1

Why do Welsh wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Score: 1

“I love me job!” exclaimed thar farmer. “All ye do be boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did ye say?” challenged thar farmer. The sheep glared back and growled... You herd me.

Score: 0

Do you know why they wear pants in England but kilts in Scotland? It's because a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.... But goats don't hear so good.

Score: 0

What has 4 legs and goes "Aaaah" A sheep with no lips.

Score: 2

A priest, a rabbi, and an interrupting sheep ...walk into a BAAAAAHHH

Score: 0

What is the favorite instrument when two sheep get together? ....a tu-baaaaaaaaaaaa

Score: 2

What singer do sheep love to listen to? Ed Sheer-an

Score: 1

Why are hand-carved sheep so interesting? Wooden ewe like to know.

Score: 2

how many sheep are stuck in traffic none because sheep cant drive!! hahahaha

Score: 3

What happened to the sheep with the getoblaster It was radio active

Score: 0

What do you call a driving sheep? A Jeep

Score: 1

What does a southern sheep say when it leaves? Baaaaaa

Score: 2

What sound does a sheep, drum, and snake make when they hit the ground? Baa Dum Tss

Score: 2

What sound do Welsh sheep make? \#MeeehToo

Score: 3

What would someone with dyslexia call two female sheep? You and I.

Score: 2

How does the Scitsman find his sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying.

Score: 0

My wife was blocking my way one day, reading her book on sheep, when I was desperate for the toilet. I couldn’t hold it any longer, so I went on a rampage.

Score: 0

How did the sheep call his girlfriend? Bae Bae.

Score: 2

Why do the Scotts wear kilts? Because in the Highlands, sheep can hear zippers for *miles*.

Score: 3

I just accepted an amazing job offer. I get to work outside, set my own hours, and I'll be getting laid pretty much all the time. Next week, I'll be catching a flight to New Zealand to start my new life as a sheep rancher.

Score: 1

A sheep, a drum and a snake walked in to a bar.... Baae dom tss

Score: 2

What do Dutch sheep do at night? Schleep

Score: 4

How does a Welsh man pleasure himself at the cliff edge with a pair of large Wellington boots? He puts the back legs of a sheep into his boots and walks towards the edge.

Score: 2

Who counts more sheep than mattress companies? Apple Inc.

Score: 2

Did u hear about the two million people that died in the Middle East? It's awful, 2 milllion dead. Everyone is helping out though. The Aussies are sending loads of beef, New Zealand is sending sheep and London is sending Muslims.

Score: 1

Sheepdogs aren't used to herd sheep in Germany They use German Shepherds instead

Score: 2

A student got his PhD researching young sheep. What is the name of the movie? The Science of The Lambs

Score: 1

Farmer Joe is out looking for a lost sheep when he wanders into a shopping mall to ask for help. He asks a security guard if he has seen any sheep wandering around the mall.

The security guard says "They're everywhere, just look for the AirPods."

Score: 1

How do you stop rape in West Virginia? kill all the sheep

Score: 2

What do you call sheep in the Middle East? Arak of lamb

Score: 2

What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh

Score: 1

Why is it so hard for New Zealanders to fall asleep? They're too turned on from counting sheep.

Score: 2

What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times? Muttiny

Score: 2

did you know it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater? It's amazing. I didn't even know they could knit!

waaaaaaka waka.

Score: 5

(first) What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper

Score: 2

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