Contents

Contents

My calculus professor was late 16 minutes for his first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes for the third. At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!

Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

How does Donald Trump do calculus integration? He makes sure to grab it by the +c

Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school? They don't want to see integration in their schools

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn’t differentiate between them.

My girlfriend is like an advanced calculus class. I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.

My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for his first class, 8 minutes late for his second, and 4 minutes late for the third. At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

Why is the south bad at calculus? They don't know how to integrate.

When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.

I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus, I'll even push through trigonometry... but graphing is where I draw the line!

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration.

Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration.

Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South? They hate integration

Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy

Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.

Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

I got arrested for doing calculus drunk. The officer told me to never drink and derive.

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.

Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers. They don't like integration.

You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits

Why did the Klansmen fail calculus? Because they hated integration so much.

I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test... by switching to radians.

Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive.

Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.

Why do Americans suck at calculus? White people have never been good at integration.

Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration.

I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line.

Our school should start a calculus club We would all derive fun from it

Did you hear about the boy who was good at calculus? To him, finding tangents was secant nature.

College calculus is like a drinking game against a super-heavyweight. Even if you know your limits, you're dead no matter what.

A group of people were hospitalised after a calculus midterm. The cops said they were drinking and deriving.

I like my women how I like my calculus: With limits.

There's nothing better than calculus jokes. I derive so much pleasure from reading them.

A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive

Why are the southern states so bad at calculus? Because they have trouble whenever they try integration.

Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world. It is such an integral field of math.

Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand... ...such as teaching them calculus and microbiology.

What did the Calculus teacher say when the class got them mad? "Seriously, you guys have reached my limit"

Where do Calculus professors go when they get hurt? L’Hospital

I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.

Calculus is seriously aking an effect on my life lol looks like absolute value of 0 to me now.

What does a calculus professor say about his pupils? Their potential is limitless :)

Remember alcohol and calculus do mix So don't drink and derive

As an IT student who failed calculus twice.... ... to this day I have Vieta flashbacks.

Differential calculus professors suck. They always go off on tangents.

I don't get why everyone rips on calculus all the time. Sure, it's very difficult. But it contains many integral concepts.

Where do calculus students go when they're injured?
To L'Hospital.

(Yes, I'm aware the true pronunciation is loh-pi-tal)

Obey the law…
Alcohol and calculus don't mix…

Never drink and derive.

Remember: Alcohol and Calculus Don't Mix Never drink and derive

I've been pitching my idea for a calculus-based movie... But everyone tells me it's too derivative

What kind of calculus do frogs use? Der - ribbit - tives

Why can the cops never catch the criminal calculus teacher? He hides in his concave

Why shouldn't you date a calculus teacher? They're always gonna replace u

I will do algebra, trig, and calculus. But geometry is where I draw the line.

When Gottfried Leibniz first red Isaac Newton's work on Calculus..... He found it quite Derivative.

I was sitting in calculus class, and the teacher asked us how we can ideally take the derivative of a logarithm... I said," I like my logarithms like my women, all natural".

My calculus professor recently divorced his wife .. .. one day he simply told her "I'm making a you substitution".

Calculus and driving doesn't mix.
Edit: Realized I screwed up the title. Meant to be: Calculus and Alcohol doesn't mix.

Don't drink and derive.