Calculus Jokes

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Funniest Calculus Jokes

My calculus professor was late 16 minutes for his first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes for the third. At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

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Funny Calculus Jokes
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Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.

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I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!


Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

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How does Donald Trump do calculus integration? He makes sure to grab it by the +c

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Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school? They don't want to see integration in their schools

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I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn’t differentiate between them.

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My girlfriend is like an advanced calculus class. I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.

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My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for his first class, 8 minutes late for his second, and 4 minutes late for the third. At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

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Why is the south bad at calculus? They don't know how to integrate.

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When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.

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I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus, I'll even push through trigonometry... but graphing is where I draw the line!

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Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration.

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Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive

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TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration.

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Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South? They hate integration

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Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy

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Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.

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I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics... But graphing is where I draw the line!











Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

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I got arrested for doing calculus drunk. The officer told me to never drink and derive.

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Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.

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Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers. They don't like integration.

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You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits

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Why did the Klansmen fail calculus? Because they hated integration so much.

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I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test... by switching to radians.

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Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive.

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Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.

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Why do Americans suck at calculus? White people have never been good at integration.

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Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration.

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I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line.

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I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content

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I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits

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Why did the calculus students get arrested? For drinking and deriving.

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I like my coffee how I like my calculus expressions: Limitless.

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Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus? So he'd use natural logs!

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A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive

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I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.

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I've been pitching my idea for a calculus-based movie... But everyone tells me it's too derivative

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I will do algebra, trig, and calculus. But geometry is where I draw the line.

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Differential calculus professors suck. They always go off on tangents.

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New Calculus Jokes

I was fine with algebra, trigonometry and calculus in school But geometry is where I draw the line!

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What did the Calculus teacher say when the class got them mad? "Seriously, you guys have reached my limit"

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My friend was drunkenly doing his calculus homework You shouldn’t drink and derive, I told him.



Credit: u/zosaj

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Where do Calculus professors go when they get hurt? L’Hospital

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Calculus is seriously aking an effect on my life lol looks like absolute value of 0 to me now.

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What does a calculus professor say about his pupils? Their potential is limitless :)

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Remember alcohol and calculus do mix So don't drink and derive

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I don't get why everyone rips on calculus all the time. Sure, it's very difficult. But it contains many integral concepts.

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Where do calculus students go when they're injured? To L'Hospital.



(Yes, I'm aware the true pronunciation is loh-pi-tal)

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Why can the cops never catch the criminal calculus teacher? He hides in his concave

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Why shouldn't you date a calculus teacher? They're always gonna replace u

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Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them.

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Calculus and driving doesn't mix. Edit: Realized I screwed up the title. Meant to be: Calculus and Alcohol doesn't mix.

Don't drink and derive.

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