Contents

Contents

My calculus professor was late 16 minutes for his first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes for the third. At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

Why don't they teach Calculus in the Deep South? Because they don't like integration.

I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!

Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

How does Donald Trump do calculus integration? He makes sure to grab it by the +c

Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school? They don't want to see integration in their schools

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins. I couldn’t differentiate between them.

My girlfriend is like an advanced calculus class. I don't have a clue what's going on but seems like those others guys are getting it.

My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for his first class, 8 minutes late for his second, and 4 minutes late for the third. At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

Why is the south bad at calculus? They don't know how to integrate.

When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.

I'll do algebra, I'll put up with calculus, I'll even push through trigonometry... but graphing is where I draw the line!

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration.

Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration.

Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South? They hate integration

Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy

Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.

Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.

I got arrested for doing calculus drunk. The officer told me to never drink and derive.

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.

Why doesn't Alabama have calculus teachers. They don't like integration.

You can't solve every problem with calculus It has its limits

Why did the Klansmen fail calculus? Because they hated integration so much.

I just saved 15% or more on my Calculus test... by switching to radians.

Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive.

Drinking alcohol is like calculus. You have to know your limits.

Why do Americans suck at calculus? White people have never been good at integration.

Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration.

I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line.

I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content

I asked a friend if I could copy his calculus homework He told me to know my limits

Why did the calculus students get arrested? For drinking and deriving.

I like my coffee how I like my calculus expressions: Limitless.

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus? So he'd use natural logs!

A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive

I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.

I've been pitching my idea for a calculus-based movie... But everyone tells me it's too derivative

I will do algebra, trig, and calculus. But geometry is where I draw the line.

Differential calculus professors suck. They always go off on tangents.

I was fine with algebra, trigonometry and calculus in school But geometry is where I draw the line!

What did the Calculus teacher say when the class got them mad? "Seriously, you guys have reached my limit"

My friend was drunkenly doing his calculus homework
You shouldn’t drink and derive, I told him.

Credit: u/zosaj

Where do Calculus professors go when they get hurt? L’Hospital

Calculus is seriously aking an effect on my life lol looks like absolute value of 0 to me now.

What does a calculus professor say about his pupils? Their potential is limitless :)

Remember alcohol and calculus do mix So don't drink and derive

I don't get why everyone rips on calculus all the time. Sure, it's very difficult. But it contains many integral concepts.

Where do calculus students go when they're injured?
To L'Hospital.

(Yes, I'm aware the true pronunciation is loh-pi-tal)

Why can the cops never catch the criminal calculus teacher? He hides in his concave

Why shouldn't you date a calculus teacher? They're always gonna replace u

Taking calculus has made me want to become Prime Minister of a European country Then I can just throw money at problems instead of trying to integrate them.

Calculus and driving doesn't mix.
Edit: Realized I screwed up the title. Meant to be: Calculus and Alcohol doesn't mix.

Don't drink and derive.