Economics Jokes

Contents

Funniest Economics Jokes

Funny Economics Jokes

I don't know what trickle down economics is... But I know when I'm getting pissed on.

Yo momma defies the laws of economics She's got plenty of supply, but there's absolutely no demand

Barron Trump: "Dad, can you help me with my economics homework?" Donald: "no, son. It wouldn't be right."

Barron: "I know, but will you try it anyway?"

I got kicked out of the library They booted me out because I moved all of the books on trickle-down economics to the fiction section

It makes sense that Trump is into golden showers Republicans love trickle down economics

I had my first date in high school. I’m happy home economics introduced me to such a delicious fruit.

I would tell an economics joke... ..but there's not enough demand.

I would make an economics joke But there's no demand

I would tell you an economics joke But there isnt enough demand

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find? Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

My wife, who is an economics professor told me she wants a divorce I'm not surprised, over the years I've felt she lost *interest* on me.

A communist mistakenly walked into an economics lecture in a local university When he realised it was a mistake, he said to himself "whoops, wrong class".

I took an Economics class last semester and it finally clicked why my Priest is so against abortion. Supply and Demand

I would tell you an economics joke. But I don't think there is enough demand.

Why was astrology invented? So economics would seem like an accurate science.

Elmo, Bill Cosby, and Ronald Reagan are told to save the world. Their solution: Tickle Down Economics

Economics Joke A Pygmy invested money in USA in 08 and managed to make huge profit after the market crash. How?
He was Short.

How does an economics degree pay off? By not getting one.

One of America's Longest Running Gags... Trickle-down Economics

Your mom is like Marxist economics Every worker gets a share

I took an economics quiz Apparently when it asked what are the margins half inch on sides and inch on top is not correct. Brought my ruler out and everything.

I just peed myself and ruined my expensive pair of pants, socks, and shoes Trickle down economics

Popular Topics

Long Economics Jokes

Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are shot during a conference and die...

Up in the sky, they are greeted by Saint Peter who says: ‚You have died. As you are politicians, surely you have sinned. Therefore you must wade through the Swamp of Lies before you can go to Heaven and join Him in eternal happiness.‘

As in her former life, Merkel wants to tackle every challenge given and goes first. She notices the swamp barely reaches her ankles and thinks ‚Well, that‘s what you get for lying. At least, I did it for a better Europe.‘

Curious about how the others are doing, she looks behind her and sees Putin covered in mud up to his knees. Furiously, she shouts: ‚This is impossible! Your reign was a dictatorship, you influenced world politics and economics to your benefit and you’ve achieved all that only by telling lies. How is it possible you‘re only knee-deep in this swamp?‘

Calmly, Putin answers: ‚Hush! I‘m standing on top of Donald and he hasen‘t noticed yet.‘

My favorite joke my dad’s told me to date

Two men, were interviewing for a management-level position at a prestigious company, and had made it to the final phase of the process. They were going to be interviewed by the CEO to see who was best for the job.

One of the men was a Harvard grad who had a degree in economics and a history of white collar jobs. The other was a blue-collar man who’d worked the factory floor and knew what it was like to do all of the labor he would be managing.

The CEO had a very difficult choice. In order to decide he told the two men to each write a poem. The two conditions were that they had to write it in thirty seconds, and they had to use the word “Timbuktu”.

Thinking that he could beat any stupid cowboy, the Harvard grad went first. After thinking for about a minute, he came up with the following:

“Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination -- Timbuktu.”
The CEO was fairly pleased, and doubted the cowboy could top that, but he gave him a shot regardless. As his time passed, the cowboy sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”

Karl Marx as a student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the professor stopped lecturing and turned to him.

"I am curious, Mr. Marx, what it is about my teaching you find so intolerable that you cannot sit through more than half of any given lecture."

Karl looked surprised for a moment, but quickly understood what the problem was, and said, "Oh, no, sir, it's nothing like that. See, I have a class on "Proletariat ideology" that starts in five minutes, and I'll be dropped from the course if I'm late."

The professor was confused. "You mean to tell me that the University registered you for two courses during the same time?"

"Yes, sir," Marx responded. "So it's nothing personal. Just a class conflict."

Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...

**SOCIALISM**

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbor.

The government charges a gift tax.



**COMMUNISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



**FASCISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



**NAZISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



**BUREAUCRATISM**

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.



**TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM**

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



**Goldman Sachs (VENTURE) CAPITALISM**

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



**AN AMERICAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



**A GREEK CORPORATION**

You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.



**A FRENCH CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



**A JAPANESE CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.



**AN ITALIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



**A SWISS CORPORATION**

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



**A CHINESE CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



**AN INDIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

You worship them.



**A BRITISH CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



**AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



**A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION**

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks rather attractive.........

Simple economics

A man travelled to the USA in hopes of bettering his life for him and his family. When he arrived he opened up a furniture shop and a lingere shop.

After 6 months he was doing very well and wrote to his wife:

Dear wife,
Please pack up and come to me in the USA. I have sold 100 matresses and 5000 panties and have made $100,000
Love your husband

Upon receiving the letter his wife writes back:

Dear husband,
Maybe it is better that you come back home. I have made $3,000,000 with 1 mattress and no panties.
Love your wife

Marx as a Student

In University, Karl Marx's Political Economics professor noted that every day, the young man would get up halfway through class and walk out, which caused a good deal of disruption. The professor quickly grew tired of the daily distraction, and so one day, as Marx stood up and prepared to leave, the professor stopped lecturing and turned to him.

"I am curious, Mr. Marx, what it is about my teaching you find so intolerable that you cannot sit through more than half of any given lecture."

Karl looked surprised for a moment, but quickly understood what the problem was, and said, "Oh, no, sir, it's nothing like that. See, I have a class on "Proletariat ideology" that starts in five minutes, and I'll be dropped from the course if I'm late."

The professor was confused. "You mean to tell me that the University registered you for two courses during the same time?"

"Yes, sir," Marx responded. "So it's nothing personal. Just a class conflict."

Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date...

​

\*\*SOCIALISM\*\*

​

You have 2 cows.

​

You give one to your neighbor.

​

The government charges a gift tax.

​



​

\*\*COMMUNISM\*\*

​

You have 2 cows.

​

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

​



​

\*\*FASCISM\*\*

​

You have 2 cows.

​

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

​



​

\*\*NAZISM\*\*

​

You have 2 cows.

​

The State takes both and shoots you.

​



​

\*\*BUREAUCRATISM\*\*

​

You have 2 cows.

​

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

​



​

\*\*TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You sell one and buy a bull.

​

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

​

You sell them and retire on the income.

​



​

\*\*Goldman Sachs (VENTURE) CAPITALISM\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

​

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

​

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

​

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.

​

No balance sheet provided with the release.

​

The public then buys your bull.

​



​

\*\*AN AMERICAN CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

​

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

​



​

\*\*A GREEK CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You still only have two cows.

​



​

\*\*A FRENCH CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

​



​

\*\*A JAPANESE CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

​

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

​



​

\*\*AN ITALIAN CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

​

You decide to have lunch.

​



​

\*\*A SWISS CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

​

You charge the owners for storing them.

​



​

\*\*A CHINESE CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You have 300 people milking them.

​

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

​

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

​



​

\*\*AN INDIAN CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

You worship them.

​



​

\*\*A BRITISH CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

Both are mad.

​



​

\*\*AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

Business seems pretty good.

​

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

​



​

\*\*A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION\*\*

​

You have two cows.

​

The one on the left looks rather attractive.........

Two professors of economics were walking down a road when they saw a dead rat.

The older one said - “If you eat this, I’ll pay you ₹10,000”. The younger one makes a quick cost-benefit analysis and finally eats the rat.

The younger professor experiences a bad after-taste and wants the older professor to experience the same. When he sees another dead rat on the road, he dares the professor to eat it in exchange for the old ₹10,000. The senior professor, eager to recover his reckless bet, eats it.

After a few minutes of walking silently, the younger professor finally says - “Looks like we’ve been eating dead rats for free.”

The older professor remarks, “But don’t forget we just added ₹ 20,000 to the GDP!”

Grocery Economics

A man and his economist friend are having lunch.

the man mentions that he's noticed something strange when he buys groceries each week. "I always buy a tub of margarine, but I've noticed that, even though it's the same price every time, there's less margarine in the tub. I can't figure out what's going on."

The economist friend nods with a knowing smile and responds "what you have there is a case of the Law of diminishing Margarinal returns."

An economics graduate student crosses the road.

An economics graduate student was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The student picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess. I'll stay with you for one week." The student takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket.

Desperate, the frog then cries out, "what is the matter? I told you that I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll be your girlfriend and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The grad student said, "Look, I'm an economist. I have no idea what it would be like to have a girlfriend. But a talking frog would be worth a Fortune."

(Found this on a friend's page and thought I'd repost it! I don't know where it's from originally considering he might have heard it from someone else.)

Just to explain the Greece crisis

MARY is the proprietor of a bar in Dublin. She realises that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronise her bar – she will go broke.
To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around about Mary's 'drink now, pay later' marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Mary's bar.

Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in Dublin — all is starting to look rosy.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands Mary gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.

Consequently, Mary's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognises that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Mary's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into Drinkbonds and Alkibonds. These securities are then bundled and traded on international security markets.

The new investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as 'AAA' secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. They have had a 'rating house' certify they are of good quality.

Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Mary's bar. He so informs Mary.

Mary then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Mary cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. So she now is broke.
The bar closes and the 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, Drinkbonds and Alkibonds drop in price by 90%.

The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Mary's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various Bond securities. They find they are now faced with having to write-off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations. Her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion euro, no-stringsattached cash infusion from their cronies in government.
The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Mary's bar.
Now, thats economics in 2015.

Once upon a time there was an egg...

This egg was very smart, even at a very young age he decided to be the most successful chicken in the world! During his chick years he was so hardworking and competitive that he was always top of the class and graduated a couple of months younger than his peers. Of course, naturally he was accepted to prestigious Universities by the time he was eligible. He studied economics and then directly pursued law. He topped the bar exam and started his own firm, Chic & Ken, with an older successful rooster. It became the most prestigious firm not just in the entire farm. At this time as well, because the law allows it, he wed many lovely hens and fathered many healthy eggs. One dawn, he went out a little earlier than his usual time to crow. The moon was very round and seeing himself being the only animal awake, he started to contemplate about his life. He asked himself why was he so blessed in life and why did it feel like he never had a setback. How good life was if he could live forever. Unknown to him, his wish would be granted but it would be the start of a tragedy. The next day, his firm was the centerpiece of the biggest scandal in history and he found out that his partner was working closely with terrorists. Within two days, Chic & Ken was no more and he had to move his entire family to another smaller coop. He had to look other jobs to support such a big family and he went to the stable, and the garden, but no one would dare hire him. At nightfall he went back to his home but to his horror, his wives and their brood were massacred by foxes; he had just caught a glimpse of their tails when they were fleeing the scene. Hopeless, he tried to kill himself many times but to no avail and after a year, he decides to leave the farm. One day, he came up to a busy highway when suddenly a fairy appeared and said to him that he was cursed to live forever but today it has finally been lifted. Suddenly, the old rooster rejoiced and he rushed towards the highway. So why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the other side.

Soviet Economics

1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:

- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%

From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??

Dear Dad, $chool i$ great

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply cannot think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on

Dear Son,

I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. [Long]

There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. The school used to come in the news fairly regularly for nothing but their bullies. More often than not the school bullies used to line up the other students and hit them in the face. The consequences of not being present in the line were worse than getting *punched* in the face, so helplessly once a week on Monday all the students lined up. The children were made to line up on the football pitches far away from the school building so the teachers wouldn't catch them too often.

The bullies were usually the eldest students in school on that particular day, and the line was particularly *bad* when the bullies were 16 year olds, and was terrible when the bullies were even younger.

A new teacher had joint school and she had heard so much about the bullying and she had zero tolerance for harassment of any sort. She decided that she's going to catch the bullies responsible for this.

So every Monday she would go to the football pitches and catch the bullies but there always used to be a *bad line*, and so she would never catch the eldest students who were the linchpins in this entire bullying scheme. She had never even seen the *terrible line*, she always used to catch the 16, and so one day she decided to use the genie lamp that she had since she was in her early twenties. She had used 2 wishes from the genie, and decided that she would use her last wish to try and catch the bullies in charge.

Her two previous wishes were used on becoming the most knowledgeable economics teacher in the UK and to be an extremely fun teacher in the classroom. These two wishes were granted to her by the genie and it helped her land the teaching job at this school.

She rubbed the lamp and the genie came out, she then went on to explain to the genie about the punching situation in the school and how all the students were made to stand in a line. She then went on to explain how she had only been catching the *bad line* of students and how she wished that she could catch the other bullies. The genie nodded and told her that things would be different tomorrow.

So the next Monday the teacher went to school like normal, and saw that there were no 16 year olds in school. This intrigued her, but at least she knew she that she wouldn't see the *bad line*, this excited her. She had dreamt of this day where she would finally catch the other bullies who were *punching* all the students.

The teacher began to walk towards the football field not knowing what to anticipate as she had never seen any other line apart from the *bad* one.

Once she reached there she knew that the genie had fulfilled her wish once again because, in front of her she saw it; the punchline, and it was *terrible*.

Three graduates are stood in McDonalds.

The economics graduate asks how the business became so successful and made so much money?

The engineering graduate asks how the kitchens were built to maximise production efficiency.

The fine arts graduate asks, "Do you want fries with that?".

It was hard and wet for her

(Based on a true story)

An economics professor was hard of hearing, so she couldn’t hear her students. She spoke so softly that her students couldn’t hear her either, so they fell asleep during class—except for one class when she said the words “It was hard and wet for her!” loudly and clearly. Every student woke up from their deep slumber. One of them asked, “It was hard and wet for who???” “My daughter, of course!” the professor audibly replied. Now the college students were more awake and alert than they’ve ever been.

“In what context?” yelled another student.

“My daughter went camping and slept in a tent after it rained. The ground was hard and wet.”

The students went back to sleep.

What her daughter sleeping on a hard and wet floor in a tent has to do with economics is still a mystery to me.

A female student is giving presentation on Adam Smith in her economics class

However, she always refers to him as Smith. The professor asks her to name him after which he's met by a blank stare.

"I'll give you a hint. It's the name of the first man" says the professor.

Blushing, the student replies, "Ummm... Dave?"

A college student is giving a highschooler a tour of the University.

So there are two guys, one is a college Sophomore and the other is a highschool senior. The Sophomore is giving the highschooler a tour of the University.

"And here we have the Women's Studies department."
The highschooler, a smartass, replies, "What about the Men's studies department?"
"Oh yeah, we call that the History department."
The highschooler laughed, finding the internet joke very funny.

"And here is the religious studies department."
"What about the atheist studies department?"
The college sophomore pointed to the College of Arts and Sciences. Another laugh was had.

Finally, they arrive at the African American studies.
"Wait," asked the highschooler, "Where is the white studies program?"
"We call that the Economics department."

A university student writes a letter to her parents, hoping that it can convince them to give her money.

Dear Mom and Dad, College i$ going well. $o far, my cla$$e$ have not been too $tre$$ful and I've been learning a lot. My profe$$or$ are for the mo$t part very nice, with the exception of my economic$ profe$$or. I've al$o been making so many new friend$ and have been joining $o many new club$. I ju$t wanted you to know that I am doing great and I don't need anything. Lot$ of Love, $arah.

A few days letter she receives a letter in her mailbox and hastily opens it, hoping her parents picked up on her not so subtle hints.

It read:

Dear Sarah,

We were so delighted to receive your letter yesterday afterNOon. We want you to kNOw that we think you are doing an amazing job in your first few days. Even if we don't always ackNOwledge all of your hard work, we still want you to kNOw that we NOtice all of the hard work and we're proud NO matter what. It's an hoNOr being your parents. And, ecoNOmics is a hard one, try getting a tutor! Keep up the hard work! If you need anything, let us kNOw.

Lots of Love,

Mom and Dad

P.S. Stop igNOring all of our phone calls \- we kNOw what you're up to those weekend nights, but call us back.

Popular Topics