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Contents
My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
What do you call a Bee hive with no exits? Unbelievable.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?
Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I am their dad, more puns about bees, puns about beer, "oh I get it", and "this joke is more like a riddle"
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi
I'll let myself out now.
If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye? Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
If you have a bee in your hand what do you have in your eye? Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees I think he's a keeper
Yesterday my wife got stung by a bee while golfing I asked where, and she informed me it was between the first and second holes. Being the helpful type, I advised her that her stance was too wide.
Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp? Because he was a cagey bee agent.
If you have Bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the Bee holder.
So, I just tried a new drinking game.
I put in the Bee Movie, and every time they make a bee pun, I take a shot.
Unfortunately, I could only get buzzed.
If I have a bee in my hand, what is in my eyes? Beauty, because beauty is in the eyes of the bee-holder
At the spelling bee
Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.
What do you call a bee from America? USB
Where does a bumblebee sit?
On her bee-hind!
As told to me by my very excited 3 year granddaughter.
What do you call a bee that comes from America? a USB!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
WASABI.
Ah, best lame joke ever.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? a USB
My wife got stung by a bee on her forehead. She’s at the ER now and her face is all swollen and bruised. She almost died! Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head, Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind? A maybe
What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee? Nothing.
What bee produces milk? A boo-bee
My 7 year old daughter drops this joke on me.
What kind of bee's make milk?
Boo-bee's
Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging
The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect... ....That Hepatitis Bee
If you have a bee in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty. It's in the eye of the bee-holder.
What do you call a bee that can't makeup it's mind? A maybe.
Please pray for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung. I was too quick with the spade.
I smoked a bee the other day... Just trying to catch a buzz...
What do you call an American Bee? A USB.
If I am holding a bee, what is in my eye?
Beauty.
Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
What is Barry Gibb better at than the rest of the Bee Gees? Staying Alive
If you have a bee in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty, cause beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
For my wife's birthday, I got a guy to follow her all day making bee noises. She really wanted a hummer.
How can you get stung by the alphabet? A bee. See?
How do you comb a bee's hair?
With a honeycomb!
I'm sorry I found this joke on a popsicle stick please forgive me.
What do you call a bee that was just born? A babee.
so my friend went to the pet store
he went up to the lady running the cash register and bought 5 bumble bee's.
the cashier proceeds to hand him 6 bee's
he then said "but i only paid for 5"
she then said "the 6th ones a freebie"
I had hired a ninja for my child who was struggling with entomology. It worked because... She know bee
What grade/rating would you give to insect conservationists on the job they've been doing the last decade? I give them a bee minus
What grade/rating would you give to intersect conservationists on the job they've been doing for the last decade? I give them a bee minus.
What do you call an immortal bee?
a zombee.
Sorry this joke was trash
My wife complained about getting stung by bees I said “honey you should bee more careful, the bees are miss beHIVING around this time of day”
So, they are making a prequel to the Bee Movie... I guess they are gonna call it the "A" movie.
What bee can you get milk from? A boo bee.
What did the dyslexic kid get after being forced to compete in the spelling bee? ABCPTSD
What do you call the stakes in the finals of a spelling bee The alpha-bet
What is a bee’s favorite news source? CNN. They hate Buzzfeed too.
A semi-blind caveman is walking through a forest
He sees some brightly coloured flowers and right next to them he sees what he thinks is 2 bees, he has bad eyesight and isn’t sure so he turns to his caveman friend and says
“2 bee or not 2 bee?”
I got a percipitation trophy At the spelling bee...
I did pretty well in my insect catching exam... I got a bee.
What did he Ghost say to the bee? Boobie
What do you call Bumble Bee when he's drunk?
Stumble Bee.
Be kind please.
What's a ghosts favourite type of bee? Boooooooobies
What do you call a sexually predatious bee? Harvey Weinsting
A doctor is talk g with a little girl
The doctor says,
"You're like a honey bee!"
The little girl says,
"Why? Because I'm so sweet?"
The doctor replies,
" No, because you're dying at an alarming rate."
What do you call a sassy bumble bee that has to scratch it's nose? A bee-itch
What did the mama bee name her two sons? Paul n' Nate.
When you meet an apiarist, look deep into his eyes... Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
What's smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee
The teacher asked little Johnnie if he had ever seen a humming bird... Little Johnnie said, "No, but one time I saw a spelling bee."
What happens when you combine Emoji Movie and Bee Movie? 🅱️ Movie
How do you make a bee stop bothering you?
Stare at it.
Seeing is bee leaving.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Just let it bee
Why was the spelling bee cancelled? One of the participants spelled disaster.
What did the sushi roll say to the bee? Wasabi
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee
What is it called when bee lacks water in their body? Beehydration..
They said due to my dyslexia, I wouldn't stand a chance in a spelling bee. You should've seen the look on their faces when I proved them grown.
Why did the Bee go to the Doctor? It had Hives
Man walks into a pet shop... Man walks into a pet shop and says to the woman behind the counter, "I want to buy a bee". She reply "we don't sell bees", he says, "well you've got one in the window".
Did you hear about the balding bee? He tried to hide it with a honeycombover.
The creator of Arby's was a pirate. He was walking one day thinking of a name for his new restaurant, until he got stung by a bee and shouted "Argh-bees!"
Subreddit for these type of jokes?
Is there a dedicated subreddit for joke like these?
What kinda of bee can't make up it's mind? A Maybe
What do you call and alligator who's a detective? An investigator.
Did you hear about the hornet who left home in search of the divine truth? He's a bee-leaver
What's more impressive than a counting pig? A spelling bee.
Why did the bee fly in a parabolic arch? Just bee-cos.
If I kill someone durng a spelling bee contest... can the judge use that in a sentence?
A woman walks into the clubhouse after nine holes...
"Whats the problem ma'am?"
"I got stung by a bee"
"Where at?"
"Between the first and second hole"
"Well I'd say your stance is too wide"
I'm trying to decide whether to start a honey farm. To bee, or not to bee. That is the question.
What did the little bee say to his big bullies? Please don't beelittle me
What does the US Army have in common with a queen bee? Drones do all their work for them
Bee Marry
Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.
The last time I saw an asian guy beat that badly..... ...it was by an indian girl at the Scripps National Spelling Bee
Why didn't the bee want crab legs? He wanted bee-food, not seafood!
A suicidal bee is about to leap. To bee or not to bee.
I was stung by a bee yesterday... $40 for a jar of honey.
Why did the bee order a cup of coffee? For a quick buzz
What does a bee say when it returns to it's hive? Honey, I'm home!
What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter.
I swallowed a live bee the other day It turned into quite an intra-sting situation.
If the wasp hadn't of stung me I wouldn't have killed it. The lesson learned is that violence bee gets violence.
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty? Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
How do you scare a bee? Boo bee. (Boobie - get it? - courtesy of my kids)
How does a Bee get to work? He catches a buzz.
What kind of bee can you milk? A boobie..
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