I dropped my cactus the other day Worst part is, I caught it
Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?
He has an Asgard
...I'll see myself out
I dropped my cactus the other day The worst part is, I caught it
What do you call a human that's now a cactus? A transplant.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing... But I can't put my finger on it.
Why did the cactus cross the road? It got stuck to the chicken.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ? "Lookin sharp !"
Bob the cactus is talking to his wife, Mandy.
Mandy says: "You're so selfish. You have to remember that it's cact-US."
Bob responds: "Actually, the plural of cactus is catc-I."
I ate a cactus today... It had a ''Sharp taste!''
Did you hear about the cactus that went to the party? He spiked the drinks.
What do you call a lot of cactus? A cac-ton
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What did the cactus wear with their suit? A cactie.
If you give a cactus a quarter... It will gamble for a day. If you give a cactus a job, it will gamble its wife and kids away.
What did the cactus say to the balloon? Nothing, they cant talk.
What did one Northern cactus say to the other Northern cactus? 'Allo Vera
What did the cactus say to his wife? 'Aloe Vera!
What do you call a pig stuck in a cactus? A porcupine.
Why did the cactus have no friends? Because he was a no-pal.
If Mexican restaurants have taught me anything it’s that people in Mexico only sleep with their back to a cactus while wearing a forward slanted sombrero.
What do you call a lonely cactus? Nopal.
What does a cactus smell like when you get close? It smells like blood.
What is the plural of "hippopotamus"?
Hippopotami.
What is the plural of "cactus"?
Cacti.
What is the plural of "whatafoolam"?
What a fool am I.
What do you call a gender confused cactus that relocates to another country? A trans plant.
What's a cactus' favorite economical system? Prickle-down economics.
What's the difference between a BMW and a cactus? George Zimmerman has never shot a cactus.
What did the food critic call the cactus pie? A succulent meal.
Where did the cactus go for an abortion? Plant Parenthood
A blind man walks into a bar ... and a wall, and a tree, and a cactus