Banana Jokes

Contents

Funniest Banana Jokes

Funny Banana Jokes
Score: 12790

A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 2309

If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for? Plastic explosives.

Score: 884

A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: "You must be single." He got fired.

Score: 248

My girlfriend wanted a favor from me Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident

Me: Say no more

LATER

Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet

Score: 225

Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!

Score: 178

I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish they'd told me I was supposed to eat them...

Score: 156

My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?


Because he wasn't peeling very well.

Score: 152

What did the banana say to the vibrator? I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me.

Score: 124

I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.

Score: 106

Astute Diagnosis A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."

Score: 96

What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Score: 89

Nobody wanted to see the naked banana . . . it just lacked appeal

Score: 73

If A is for apple, B is for banana, what is C for? Plastic explosives

Score: 72

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ? Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

Score: 62

What type of key opens a banana? A Monkey :3

Score: 62

I'm not saying my house has too many books But I just saw an orang-utan in the kitchen, looking for a banana.

Score: 61

A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"

Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Score: 53

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat *me*!

Score: 52

What did the banana say to the vibrator? "I don't know why you're shaking, I'm the one about to be eaten!"

Score: 51

What do you call 2 banana peels? A pair of slippers

Score: 50

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's going to be eating me!

Score: 37

Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued? He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.

Score: 33

The banana asked the vibrator... The banana asked the Vibrator
"Why are *you* shaking, shes going to *eat* me!"

Score: 32

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana... and butterflies like margarine.

Score: 32

What did the banana say to the vibrator? "What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."

Score: 29

A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself "Oh no not again."

Score: 27

If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?

Score: 27

A banana and a vibrator were laying next to each other on a
counter, with the vibrator buzzing away. The banana turns to
the vibrator and says, “I dunno what you’re getting all worked
up about. She’s gonna eat me.”

Score: 25

So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends... The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"

The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"

The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"

The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"

Score: 25

From my 2yo sister Knock knock


Who's there


Banana


Banana who?


Banana cross the road you chicken nerd

Score: 12

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

Score: 6

Uh, hi. Yeah, I'll have a six-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on Honey Oat, please. No, thanks, no double meat or cheese. Yeah, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, banana peppers, and..." *checks phone* Oh, shoot. Wrong sub.

Score: 2

Two bananas are at a bar... One of them says “Hey buddy thanks for helping me with me move out”

The other banana says “It was no big peel”

Score: 2

What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel.

Score: 1

What do you call troubles in the banana trade? Monkey business in the stalk market.

Score: 1

Why does a Christian banana attend? Church Sundae

Score: 1

3 Women in a bar talking about how loose they are. One fits a banana,the second one an cucumber and the third one slides down the bar stool.

Score: 1

What doe you call a banana's grandmother? Banana-nana

Score: 0

What do you call a mummy wearing a banana hammock??? Fruit of the Tomb

Score: 0

Popular Topics

New Banana Jokes

A banana with a mask and a cape is Captain Banana. What is a tomato with a mask and a cape? A tomato dressed as Captain Banana.

Score: 0

I built a successful bartering company, where I trade fresh fruits for measurement instruments to later sell them. I started it with a banana for scale.

Score: 0

Popular Topics