Contents
Contents
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana then what is C for? Plastic Explosives.
A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for? Plastic explosives.
A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: "You must be single." He got fired.
My girlfriend wanted a favor from me
Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident
Me: Say no more
LATER
Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!
I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean... I just wish they'd told me I was supposed to eat them...
My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one...
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me.
I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.
Astute Diagnosis
A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."
What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
Nobody wanted to see the naked banana . . . it just lacked appeal
If A is for apple, B is for banana, what is C for? Plastic explosives
What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ? Whatever you want, he can't hear you..
What type of key opens a banana? A Monkey :3
I'm not saying my house has too many books But I just saw an orang-utan in the kitchen, looking for a banana.
A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat *me*!
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "I don't know why you're shaking, I'm the one about to be eaten!"
What do you call 2 banana peels? A pair of slippers
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's going to be eating me!
Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued? He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana... and butterflies like margarine.
The banana asked the vibrator...
The banana asked the Vibrator
"Why are *you* shaking, shes going to *eat* me!"
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."
A blonde is walking down the street and sees a banana peel 10 ft in front of her She says to herself "Oh no not again."
If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana Is that canabananalism?
A banana and a vibrator
were laying next to each other on a
counter, with the vibrator buzzing away. The banana turns to
the vibrator and says, “I dunno what you’re getting all worked
up about. She’s gonna eat me.”
So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends...
The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"
The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"
The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"
The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"
What elements are a banana made out of? BaNa₂
Why was the banana a good prosecutor? She always made the defense slip up on appeal.
What's a banana made of? One part barium, two parts sodium.
What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone?
A banana-nana-nana
Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
If you eat a banana without it's consent Does that make it Ripe?
A man tried to rob a store with a banana... ...his efforts were fruitless.
When Alzheimers disease knocks on your door.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Alzheimers disease
Alzheimers disease who?
Orange ya glad I didn't say banana?
A man is buying a banana, some skittles, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."
The man responds: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
The husband asks the wife...
The husband asks the wife:
-Babe which do you like the best, strawberry or banana?
The wife asks him:
-Why are you at the Supermarket?
The husband replys:
No I'm at the pharmacy...
What were Banana and Strawberry doing at the club? Trying to blend in and be smoothie.
What do you call a mummy wearing a banana hammock??? Fruit of the Tomb
Two bananas are at a bar...
One of them says “Hey buddy thanks for helping me with me move out”
The other banana says “It was no big peel”
Why does a Christian banana attend? Church Sundae
what is hannah montana's name as a fruit? hannah mon...BANANA!!!! xD!!!
What do you call troubles in the banana trade? Monkey business in the stalk market.
My dad bought stock in a banana peal company Profits have been slipping
Me to Banana: Show me what you got Banana: K
Need to know how much you weigh? Stand on a banana, apparently they make pretty good scales.
I gave my friend a cavendish in exchange for a weight-measuring device. Banana for scale.
Did you hear about the stand up with the banana's stand up act? I heard it was a-peeling!
3 Women in a bar talking about how loose they are. One fits a banana,the second one an cucumber and the third one slides down the bar stool.
Why did the boy banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't PEELING very well.
-source: my 3 year-old daughter
Why did the skinless banana have no friends? Because he lacked appeal
Why didn't the banana like the cow? The cow wasn't very a-peel-ing
What fruit do you get when you combine a sheep and with some salt? Banana
Q: Why does it seem most Titles on the Front page have nothing to do with the content of the post? A: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
My father was a banana. My mother found him quite appealing.
What is the similarity between lemon and banana? Can't make mango juice outta them.
look like
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
Who was the first carpenter? Eve. Because she made Adam's banana stand.
Time flies like an arrow... And fruit flies like a banana
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling well!
A hot guy was eating a banana I found him apealing
How does a blonde eat a banana? *grabs back of own head and forces mouth down on banana*
A man walks into the hospital with a carrot up his nose...
...and a banana in his ear. He is clearly distraught and asks the doctor what's wrong with him.
"It's simple," the doctor says. "You're not eating right."
What's the similarity between an apple and an orange beside that both are fruits? Both are not a banana.
Did you hear about the guy who sued a banana? He won the initial case but lost on the banana's appeal.
Time flies like an arrow Fruit flys like banana
Uh, hi. Yeah, I'll have a six-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki on Honey Oat, please. No, thanks, no double meat or cheese. Yeah, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, banana peppers, and..." *checks phone* Oh, shoot. Wrong sub.
Different foods were talking to each other,
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel.
What doe you call a banana's grandmother? Banana-nana
Why is a banana the most attractive fruit? Everyone finds it a-peeling.
A guy walks into a doctor's office with a banana stuck up his nose. He says to the doctor "Doc, I don't know what's going on with me.. I really don't feel well." The doctor says "you're not eating right."
Which is the best side of a banana to eat? The Inside...
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