Corn Jokes

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Funniest Corn Jokes

Funny Corn Jokes
Score: 804

Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land

Score: 422

Give a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he'll kill you and steal your land.

Score: 324

What did baby corn say to momma corn? where is popcorn?

Score: 224

What happens if you castrate a corn cob? It becomes a eunuchcorn.

Score: 205

Since it's so close to Thanksgiving, remember this Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!

Happy Thanksgiving from your friendly, neighborhood Native American!

Score: 85

Willpower I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'

I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

Score: 68

Why is it risky to tell secrets on a farm? The corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beanstalk.

Score: 61

Corn Give a white man an ear of corn, he eats for a day
Teach a white man to grow corn, he steals all your land

Score: 52

funniest joke i have heard in a while "what is the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?"

One shucks between fits

Score: 41

What did the baby corn say to mom corn? "Where's popcorn?"

Score: 41

Whats the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an epileptic corn-husker? The epileptic corn-husker shucks between fits.

Score: 34

What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with dysentery? The farmer shucks between fits.

Score: 34

What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner.

Score: 33

Don't tell secrets in the garden: The potatoes have eyes

The corn has ears

And the beanstalk.

Score: 29

I asked my dyslexic friend to pick me up some erotic videos featuring law enforcement officers He came back with pop corn.

Score: 28

Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land.

Score: 26

Why is corn the best vegetable to talk to? It's all ears!

Score: 24

Q: What did the momma corn say to baby corn? A: where is popcorn

Score: 24

Why shouldn't the corn dog & the pig in a blanket have kids together? They're both inbred.

Score: 23

A customer's corn broke through her bag. I told her it was too husky. She stared at me blankly. Something must've been wrong with her ears.

Score: 22

How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn? A buck an ear

Score: 21

It's kinda corny... What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

Score: 20

If Billy Mays were a farmer... And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."

Score: 20

What did the baby corn say to the Mom corn ? Where is Popcorn ?

Score: 20

How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

Score: 17

What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a nymphomaniac with diarrhea? One shucks between fits

Score: 16

How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer

(I heard we're doing pirate jokes today)

Score: 16

What do pirate farmers charge for their corn? A buccaneer

Score: 14

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"

Score: 14

what do u call a group of colonels ? a cob .

get it . cuz colonel is pronounced kernel . like corn .

i try ok .

Score: 13

Why should you never eat Jolly Green Giant vegetables? Because he always stands over the corn and peas.

Ho ho ho....

Score: 11

Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze The walls have ears.

Score: 9

I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.

How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?

Score: 7

Did you hear about the corn farmer? He had a great harvest and was smiling from ear to ear.

Score: 7

If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel.

Score: 7

What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery? One shucks between fits...

Score: 7

What did the baby corn say to its mother? Where's popcorn?

Was that too corny for you?

Score: 7

My friend made a flute out of a carrot... It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.

My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

Score: 7

What did the ear of corn say when he lost his leaves? Schucks!

Score: 6

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New Corn Jokes

Bars ordered to close by government should file for farm income support ...after all they're business is barley, corn and rye.

Score: 0

What’s the difference between a brood of deer and fried maize cakes? One is a batch of fawn critters and the other is a batch of corn fritters.

Score: 0

My friend dropped his favorite corn chip into a vat of melted cheese. "Aw, man," I sympathized, "It's just nacho day."

Score: 0

I once saw an orange with corn silk on top of it The people refer to it as "Mr. President."

Score: 1

What did the baby corn tell mama corn while watching a movie ? Where is POPcorn ?

Score: 1

Why are corn fields great comedians? Cause they make a laughing stock out of everything!

Score: 1

Friends, Romans, Corn Futures Brokers, Lend me your ears

Score: 4

What's the difference between candy corn and boogers? Kids won't eat candy corn.

Score: 3

How much does a pirate sell his corn for? A buccaneer

Score: 3

What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s popcorn?

Score: 2

What do you call a corn falling from an oak tree? A corn

Score: 1

What did the baby corn say to the daddy corn? Popcorn!

Score: 4

Why did the corn get fired? He was drinking on the cob.

Sorry for the corny joke.

Score: 1

I stepped on my corn flakes... Now I'm a cereal killer.

Score: 2

They have these new cream corn containers that look like milk cartons... They call it Soft Pour Corn.

Score: 2

What does a chorus made of corn do? Sing in hominy.

Score: 2

What do you call the children of the corns father? Pop corn.

Score: 4

What did the corn farmer say when his crop failed? Aww shucks!

Score: 1

What did the corn chip say to the light bulb? Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay

Score: 5

I once accidentally poured glue in my son's corn flakes He's never talked to me again

Score: 4

What do you call a gelded unicorn? A Eunuch-corn

Score: 4

Why do celebrities hate living in Nebraska and Iowa? All the corn stalks there.

Score: 3

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn? It's easy on the ears

Score: 3

What did baby corn say to momma corn? Where's pop corn?

Score: 2

I got a job peeling corn all day... It really shucks.

Score: 3

I used to love the sound of crunching into corn... but now I don't have an ear for it.

Score: 2

What did John Fogerty say when he once again became trapped under Mexican corn on the cob? Oh Lord, stuck in elote again

Score: 2

How did Nelson Mandela do laundry while in prison? He used one part water, a part corn starch, and a part Tide.

Score: 3

Donald Trump announced plans to stop subsidizing the corn industry He's making America grain again.

Score: 3

What did baby corn ask to mommy corn? Where is pop corn?

Score: 1

I poured a bag of yellow vegetables over a dead policeman. Corn on the cop.

Score: 4

What do you call a piece of corn all by itself? A Unicorn.

Score: 3

I think I'm going to start selling pirate corn in my shop... I'm going to charge a buck an ear.

(Yes another attempt at an original joke)

Edit: Apparently it's not original. I should have googled it first. Man thinking up something no one else has is tough.

Score: 2

What is the difference between a corn-shucker with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits.

Score: 2

Why is corn the best vegetable to talk to? Because it's all ears!!

Score: 0

How much did the pirate pay for corn? A buck an ear!

Score: 3

Not knowing that it's called "baby corn" isn't a big deal... ...but everyone looked at me REALLY weird when I said "oooh, I LOVE child corn" in a crowded restaurant.

Score: 2

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