A mugger jumps out in front of a university student...
...and shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".
Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
Me: It took him a couple bytes
I don't like computer science jokes.. Not one bit
There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science
0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors
What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.
The girls in my computer science class are like the matrix All you see is a bunch of ones and zeroes
Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class? String Arrays
I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board
Yesterday, my computer science teacher was teaching us about for-loops... ... he said it was a *for n* concept.
Computer Science major walks into an English class
The Professor says "Welcome to English 101".
The student panicks.
"What's wrong?" asks the Professor.
"I missed the first 4 English classes".
There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Oh and weird concurrency bugs.
Oh and weird concurrency bugs.
I've decided I'm going to major in computer science and Japanese. I'm gonna master weeb design.
Your computer science teaching momma is so fat... ... she can flatten a binary tree in O(1).
A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404. The students search feverishly, to no avail
My dog ate my computer science project
"your dog ate your coding assignment?"
It took him a couple bytes
I wanted to study Computer Science but then I stopped... Turns out its just a sudo science.
What do you call a nap in computer science class? A CS-ta
How physicists see other sciences:
Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units
Why didn't the client tip the server?
Because they didn't have enough cache!
(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)
Why isn't there any beautiful girl in computer science? Because they're all 0's and 1's
Why did the transgender person fail computer science? Because they were non-binary
A computer science major goes to his English professor and says "I've found a fault in the English language and I need an entomologist."
"Don't you mean an etymologist?" the teacher asks.
"No," the student replies. "It's a bug, not a feature."
Why can a girl not get laid in the computer science field? the odds might be good. but the goods are odd
Since MIT is giving free access to their courses online, I shall study Computer science web programming with Python and Java as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.
What's the difference between a computer science student and a brick? The brick gets laid
Why are people who use the metric system so good at computer science? Because they are pro-grammers.
My computer science professor was fired for giving a lecture in Octal My school has very strict policies regarding eight-speech.
Why did the computer science student drop out? He just couldn't hack it.
Computer Science joke: After you've been bit 8 times by a mosquito does that been you have a mosquito byte? Not understanding this joke is what causes malaria.
I think my computer science teacher should self-isolate. He had a hacking cough today.
Binary 1100101 The 1-01-11 's of computer science
If you want to be a computer science major, all you have do is get sick. Before long you’ll be coughing and hacking.
Every day at my 4 PM computer science class that the teacher is late to... "4:04 teacher not found"
I don't care for computer science. Not one bit.
What do you call a Computer Science course designed for women? Object oriented programming