A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
‘What’s up?’ says the driver.
‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’
Warnings about motorcycles
Every time people find out I drive a motorcycle they always freak out and tell me about sometime someone they know got in an accident.
I don't get it.
I don't go around telling pregnant women that my dad left
A pickpocket is a victim of a motorcycle hit-and-run.
A police officer comes to his aid.
"Do you remember his license plate?" he asks.
"No" says the pickpocket weakly, "but here's his wallet."
Police: Sir, you are under arrest for trying to carry 6 people on a single motorcycle
Me: What do you mean 6 people?
Police: Yes, 6 people. Now please get off your vehicle.
Me: OH MY GOD!
Me: Jack fell off!
what's the difference between your first motorcycle and you first girlfriend? Nothing, it doesn't matter what either of them look like, you're just happy to have something to ride.
Stormtrooper helmets I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.
In the motorcycle safety course they tell you that target fixation is bad, where your eyes are looking is where you usually end up. Must be why I keep running over female joggers.
My wife asked for something hot and trembling between her legs You can imagine her surprise when she saw the motorcycle I had gotten her
My buddy was in a motorcycle accident and lost half his foot. So now he's handicapped. He's still the same guy, but I just can't hang out with him anymore. So I realized something important about myself. I'm lack-toes intolerant.
My buddy was in a bad motorcycle accident, and while he was hospitalized, he had to have one of his feet amputated... Once his girlfriend found out about the surgery, she immediately left him. Turns out she was Lack Toes intolerant.
I was hit by a moose driving my motorcycle yesterday. How he managed to drive it is a mystery to me.
A friend tried to get me to wear jeans, a white t shirt, and a motorcycle jacket - but I said no. It sounded like a Fonzie scheme.
I lost both arms to a motorcycle accident. I think there’s something wrong with my legs too but I just can’t put my finger on it.
When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle.
It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces. They're officially labeled as Cowasockies.
I get complaints that my dog is chasing people on bike I didnt take this as a problem until i realized he has been using my motorcycle
A man made a motorcycle out of wood. Wood interior and exterior, but did he ride it? No it wooden start
What's the Difference between a Harley Davidson Motorcycle and a Hoover vacuum? The Hoover vacuum only carries one dirt bag.
Did you hear about the robot that looks eerily like Evil Knievel? He's doing a motorcycle jump over the uncanny valley.
Motorcycle helmets are weird.. I still haven't figured out where the helmet goes on the bike....ehh, guess I'm not the brightest anymore after the multiple head injuries.
Why does the Undertaker ride his motorcycle slowly? Because he's an Undertaker not an Overtaker!
What does a motorcycle and the government have it common? Once you have more power, you can't go back.
What’s the difference between people who refuse to wear a mask during the pandemic and motorcycle riders who won’t wear a helmet? At least the motorcycle riders can donate their organs...
I was asked to explain the plot of Tron. I don’t remember it super well, so I just said the main character is trapped in a computer playing a motorcycle game on a grid. Well, something along those lines.
How can you tell when someone is a vegan or a motorcycle rider? They’ll tell you within the first 5 minutes of talking to them.
Im saving up for my own motorcycle Was on the fence but then my neighbour yelled at me to get down so I need something else to do in my free time
When I finished high school...
I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said “no”.
You see, my mom had a brother who died in a motorcycle crash when he was 18 so she said I could just have his motorcycle.
After his motorcycle accident where he lost his left leg and half his right foot, Dylan sulked slowly around school in all black outfits. We call him the three-toed Goth.
If brains were gasoline... ...you wouldn't have enough to ride a motorcycle half way around a cheerio.
What does a non-moving cat and a motorcycle traveling at 80mph have in common? They make the same sound.
My dad died at 40. We should've seen it coming when he bought a motorcycle at 20. They don't call it a mid life crisis for nothing.
If a group of mimes forms a motorcycle gang....
Do they have to drive electric bikes?
My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common. The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my crotch.