Zombie Jokes

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Funniest Zombie Jokes

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.

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It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.

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Funny Zombie Jokes
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Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.

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What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.

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What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.

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What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!

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What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!

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Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

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What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!

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Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.

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What do you call a zombie with a hickey? A necromancer.

RIP GEORGE A ROMERO

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Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss

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Dyslexic Zombie What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians

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What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss

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What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...

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If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

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As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.

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What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns

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What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad

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What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D

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Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet

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A zombie walks into a bar. Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!

Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?

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A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

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What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.

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"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.

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vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat?

GRAAAAINS

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What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.

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What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...

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What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens? The Bawking Dead

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what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels

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What did the zombie body builder say? GAINSSS!!!

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What does a zombie conductor say? Traaaains.

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What is the Zombie equivalent of a Leprechaun's Pot o' Gold? Crypt o' Currency.

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I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

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How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a liga**mint**.

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My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, "Am I menacing?"

I said, "Of course, you're a choir girl."

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How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a ligament.

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New Zombie Jokes

While humans get their Miranda rights, what does a Zombie get when they are arrested? They get habeas corpus.

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When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.

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You can say what you want about a zombie apocalypse... but surely it would be everywhereanimated

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What did one Australian zombie say to the other? Good eye.

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Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?

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What's the difference between a Halloween zombie and an Easter zombie? Well, there aren't many actually. For example, they both like *RawBits*.

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Why don't Hollywood make zombie movies anymore? Because they've been done to death

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Where should you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Old folks home. Nobody has teeth to bite you!

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This entire year I was looking forward to being Tom Petty for Halloween But now going as a zombie is just to basic

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What do you find at a zombie market? The hawking dead.

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In honor of The Walking Dead returning, What do zombie cows crave? Graaaains! GRAAAAINS!

[Also, I like to think it's zombie cows who are keeping the grass so nicely trimmed in The Walking Dead universe]

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