When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.
It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.
Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.
What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.
What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!
What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!
Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day.
Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.
What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!
Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.
What do you call a zombie with a hickey?
RIP GEORGE A ROMERO
Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains
What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss
What does a dyslexic zombie eat?
What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...
If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.
What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns
What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad
What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D
Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet
A zombie walks into a bar.
Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!
Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?
A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.
What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.
what does a vegan zombie eat?
What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.
What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...
So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels
My Zombie Friend was getting fat. So his doctor put him on a diet. It was a no-brainer.
What did the zombie body builder say? GAINSSS!!!
I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...
How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a liga**mint**.
My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween.
She put it on and said, "Am I menacing?"
I said, "Of course, you're a choir girl."
Where should you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Old folks home. Nobody has teeth to bite you!
Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?
When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.
You can say what you want about a zombie apocalypse... but surely it would be everywhereanimated
What did one Australian zombie say to the other? Good eye.
What's the difference between a Halloween zombie and an Easter zombie? Well, there aren't many actually. For example, they both like *RawBits*.
Why don't Hollywood make zombie movies anymore? Because they've been done to death
What do you find at a zombie market? The hawking dead.
what did the zombie say when he prank-called someone? "deez gutz"
In honor of The Walking Dead returning, What do zombie cows crave?
[Also, I like to think it's zombie cows who are keeping the grass so nicely trimmed in The Walking Dead universe]