Hilarious Zombie Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Zombie Jokes

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.

Score: 154

It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.

Score: 109

Score: 108

Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.

Score: 75

What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.

Score: 65

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.

Score: 52

What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!

Score: 46

What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!

Score: 39

Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

Score: 39

What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!

Score: 38

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.

Score: 35

What do you call a zombie with a hickey? A necromancer.

RIP GEORGE A ROMERO

Score: 29

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

Score: 25

What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss

Score: 23

Dyslexic Zombie What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians

Score: 20

What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss

Score: 20

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...

Score: 18

If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Score: 17

As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.

Score: 17

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.

Score: 16

What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns

Score: 16

What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad

Score: 15

What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D

Score: 14

Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet

Score: 14

A zombie walks into a bar. Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!

Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?

Score: 12

vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat?

GRAAAAINS

Score: 11

A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

Score: 11

What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.

Score: 11

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.

Score: 11

What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.

Score: 10

What is zombie's favorite hiking snack? Entrail mix

Score: 10

So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Score: 9

What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...

Score: 9

What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!

Score: 8

What is considered an apocalypse by a zombie? A Necrophiliac outbreak

Score: 8

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing.

Score: 7

what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels

Score: 5

Why did the zombie herd ignore the feminist? Because they were hungry for brains

Score: 5

What did the prospector say the the zombie rappers? "There's mold in them there grills"

Score: 4

If attacked by a mob of zombie clowns... go for the juggler.

Score: 4

New Zombie Jokes

Why dint you want help from a zombie? Cuz they’ll give you a hand.

Score: 1

When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.

Score: 0

You can say what you want about a zombie apocalypse... but surely it would be everywhereanimated

Score: 0

What did one Australian zombie say to the other? Good eye.

Score: 1

Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?

Score: 2

Why did the female zombie join the online dating site? Because she wanted to find Mr. Wight.



I know its lame, but I wrote it myself, so I was proud.

Score: 2

What's the difference between a Halloween zombie and an Easter zombie? Well, there aren't many actually. For example, they both like *RawBits*.

Score: 1

In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy. They were named the “marine corpse”

Score: 3

I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

Score: 2

This entire year I was looking forward to being Tom Petty for Halloween But now going as a zombie is just to basic

Score: 1

It's really easy to survive a zombie apocalypse It's a no-brainer

Score: 4

How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a ligament.

Score: 2

I asked the hotel checkout girl, "Do you provide turndown service?" She said, "Sure. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last guy on earth after the zombie apocalypse and your saliva contained the antidote."

Score: 3

If Zombies always say "Brains" then what does a Zombie from /r/PCMasterrace say? FRAAAAMES!

Score: 2

What do you call a zombie outbreak in the middle of the workplace? Staff Infection!

Score: 1

How does a zombie see his future? He uses his horrorscope!

Score: 3

A zombie walks into a bar The bartender tells the zombie "sorry we don't serve zombie here" the zombie replies "oh, is the human still fresh?"

Score: 4

What does a vegan zombie eat? Grrrrraaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnsssss!!!!
(Rip George A Romero)

Score: 3

What is a vegan zombie's favourite food? Graaaiins

Score: 2

Why did the zombie hunter shoot the revolving door? To stop it from turning.

Score: 1

What does a zombie eat for breakfast? All-brain.

Score: 1

What do you call a mindless zombie? Hungry

Score: 2

What is a zombie's favourite activity on a cruise ship? Shuffleboard!

Score: 2

What do you find at a zombie market? The hawking dead.

Score: 1

Who won the zombie race? It was dead even.

Score: 2

What does a vegan zombie eat? Grains!

Score: 3

What breed is a zombie dog? A rott

Score: 1

What happens to a zombie when it's been sitting down for too long? It gets a dead leg

Score: 1

What's a zombie child's favorite game? The Organ Trail.

Score: 2

If everybody became a zombie, which zombie would be the most life-threatening one? None of them, since everybody is already dead.

Score: 1