Zombie Jokes

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.

It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.

Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.

What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.

What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!

What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!

Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.

What do you call a zombie with a hickey? A necromancer.

RIP GEORGE A ROMERO

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss

Dyslexic Zombie What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians

What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss

What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...

If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.

What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns

What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad

What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D

Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet

A zombie walks into a bar. Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!

Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?

A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.

vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat?

GRAAAAINS

What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.

What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...

So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels

My Zombie Friend was getting fat. So his doctor put him on a diet. It was a no-brainer.

What did the zombie body builder say? GAINSSS!!!

I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a liga**mint**.

My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, "Am I menacing?"

I said, "Of course, you're a choir girl."

Where should you go in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Old folks home. Nobody has teeth to bite you!

Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?