Zombie Jokes

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Funniest Zombie Jokes

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.

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It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.

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Funny Zombie Jokes
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Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.

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What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.

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What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.

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What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!

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What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!

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Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day. Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

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What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!

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Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.

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What do you call a zombie with a hickey? A necromancer.

RIP GEORGE A ROMERO

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Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss

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Dyslexic Zombie What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians

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What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss

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What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...

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If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

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As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.

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What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns

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What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad

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What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D

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Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet

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A zombie walks into a bar. Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!

Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?

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vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat?

GRAAAAINS

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A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

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What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.

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"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.

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What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.

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What is zombie's favorite hiking snack? Entrail mix

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So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...

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What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!

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What is considered an apocalypse by a zombie? A Necrophiliac outbreak

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Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing.

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what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels

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Why did the zombie herd ignore the feminist? Because they were hungry for brains

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What did the prospector say the the zombie rappers? "There's mold in them there grills"

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If attacked by a mob of zombie clowns... go for the juggler.

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New Zombie Jokes

Why dint you want help from a zombie? Cuz they’ll give you a hand.

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When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.

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You can say what you want about a zombie apocalypse... but surely it would be everywhereanimated

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What did one Australian zombie say to the other? Good eye.

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Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?

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Why did the female zombie join the online dating site? Because she wanted to find Mr. Wight.

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I know its lame, but I wrote it myself, so I was proud.

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What's the difference between a Halloween zombie and an Easter zombie? Well, there aren't many actually. For example, they both like *RawBits*.

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In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy. They were named the “marine corpse”

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I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...

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This entire year I was looking forward to being Tom Petty for Halloween But now going as a zombie is just to basic

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It's really easy to survive a zombie apocalypse It's a no-brainer

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How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a ligament.

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I asked the hotel checkout girl, "Do you provide turndown service?" She said, "Sure. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last guy on earth after the zombie apocalypse and your saliva contained the antidote."

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If Zombies always say "Brains" then what does a Zombie from /r/PCMasterrace say? FRAAAAMES!

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What do you call a zombie outbreak in the middle of the workplace? Staff Infection!

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How does a zombie see his future? He uses his horrorscope!

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A zombie walks into a bar The bartender tells the zombie "sorry we don't serve zombie here" the zombie replies "oh, is the human still fresh?"

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Grrrrraaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnsssss!!!!
(Rip George A Romero)

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What is a vegan zombie's favourite food? Graaaiins

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Why did the zombie hunter shoot the revolving door? To stop it from turning.

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What does a zombie eat for breakfast? All-brain.

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What do you call a mindless zombie? Hungry

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What is a zombie's favourite activity on a cruise ship? Shuffleboard!

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What do you find at a zombie market? The hawking dead.

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Who won the zombie race? It was dead even.

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What does a vegan zombie eat? Grains!

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What breed is a zombie dog? A rott

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What happens to a zombie when it's been sitting down for too long? It gets a dead leg

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What's a zombie child's favorite game? The Organ Trail.

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If everybody became a zombie, which zombie would be the most life-threatening one? None of them, since everybody is already dead.

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