Contents
Contents
When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat? Coma patients.
It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie... ...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.
What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaains
Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.
What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrains.
What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything? GaaAAAiiNnns!!
What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!
Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day.
Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.
What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS!!
Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.
What do you call a zombie with a hickey?
A necromancer.
RIP GEORGE A ROMERO
Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion? Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains
What does a vegan zombie eat? Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss
Dyslexic Zombie
What does a dyslexic zombie eat?
Brians
What do zombie vegans eat? Grrrraaaaaaiiiinsssss
What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grainsss...
If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake.
What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaiiiinns
What do you call a zombie father? The Walking Dad
What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D
Why did the Zombie miss her wedding? Cold feet
A zombie walks into a bar.
Bartender: We don’t serve zombies around here!
Zombie: That’s fine. Is the human fresh?
vegan zombie
what does a vegan zombie eat?
GRAAAAINS
A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie. I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.
What's a zombie's favorite weather? Brainstorms.
"A mind is a terrible thing to waste." A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner.
What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.
What is zombie's favorite hiking snack? Entrail mix
So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...
What do zombie vegans eat? ... Grains!!!
What is considered an apocalypse by a zombie? A Necrophiliac outbreak
Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing.
what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels
Why did the zombie herd ignore the feminist? Because they were hungry for brains
What did the prospector say the the zombie rappers? "There's mold in them there grills"
If attacked by a mob of zombie clowns... go for the juggler.
Why dint you want help from a zombie? Cuz they’ll give you a hand.
When Ted Cruz rises from the grave during a zombie apocalypse... It'll be the Zodiac Thriller.
You can say what you want about a zombie apocalypse... but surely it would be everywhereanimated
What did one Australian zombie say to the other? Good eye.
Got one of those email chain forwards that said if I didn't forward it to five people, a zombie would appear in my closet at night. Guess who's getting laid tonight?
Why did the female zombie join the online dating site?
Because she wanted to find Mr. Wight.
​
I know its lame, but I wrote it myself, so I was proud.
What's the difference between a Halloween zombie and an Easter zombie? Well, there aren't many actually. For example, they both like *RawBits*.
In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy. They were named the “marine corpse”
I saw a Zombie coming to me, I thought he was going to eat my brain.. But he just kept walking...
This entire year I was looking forward to being Tom Petty for Halloween But now going as a zombie is just to basic
It's really easy to survive a zombie apocalypse It's a no-brainer
How does a zombie freshen their breath? They eat a ligament.
I asked the hotel checkout girl, "Do you provide turndown service?" She said, "Sure. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last guy on earth after the zombie apocalypse and your saliva contained the antidote."
If Zombies always say "Brains" then what does a Zombie from /r/PCMasterrace say? FRAAAAMES!
What do you call a zombie outbreak in the middle of the workplace? Staff Infection!
How does a zombie see his future? He uses his horrorscope!
A zombie walks into a bar The bartender tells the zombie "sorry we don't serve zombie here" the zombie replies "oh, is the human still fresh?"
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Grrrrraaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnsssss!!!!
(Rip George A Romero)
What is a vegan zombie's favourite food? Graaaiins
Why did the zombie hunter shoot the revolving door? To stop it from turning.
What does a zombie eat for breakfast? All-brain.
What do you call a mindless zombie? Hungry
What is a zombie's favourite activity on a cruise ship? Shuffleboard!
What do you find at a zombie market? The hawking dead.
Who won the zombie race? It was dead even.
What does a vegan zombie eat? Grains!
What breed is a zombie dog? A rott
What happens to a zombie when it's been sitting down for too long? It gets a dead leg
What's a zombie child's favorite game? The Organ Trail.
If everybody became a zombie, which zombie would be the most life-threatening one? None of them, since everybody is already dead.
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