Snow Jokes

Contents

Funniest Snow Jokes

Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch

Score: 2073
Funny Snow Jokes
Score: 932

Snow isn't a problem in Muslim countries, but ISIS

Score: 709

So far we have four inches of snow on the ground. Or as my husband would say...seven inches.

Score: 648

Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in

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Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming.

Score: 540

I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White. The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.

Score: 451

Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.

Score: 193

Father looks out the window on a snowy evening. He gets furious and turns red.

"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.

"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."

"Oh. That's not so bad."

"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."

Score: 166

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

Score: 108

Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week They exchanged numbers

Score: 106

How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? Just look for the fresh prints.

Score: 101

Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear.

Score: 97

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls. Ha

Score: 91

Snow isn’t a problem in Muslim countries... But ISIS

Score: 88

Why was the snowman smiling? He heard the snow blower coming

Score: 86

What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.

Score: 58

Donald Trump is like Jon Snow He's obsessed with the wall and he knows nothing

Score: 58

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves were all in bed feeling happy Happy left soon afterwards, so they started feeling grumpy

Score: 55

Why was the snow yellow? Elsa let it go.

Score: 54

What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.

Score: 49

Where does a polar bear keep his money? In a snow bank.

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The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now So I thought I’d check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.

She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.

Score: 43

What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia? In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

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Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

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What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White? Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

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What is the difference between a snow woman and a snow man? Snowballs.

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Our parents had to walk uphill both ways in 2 feet of snow to get to school... But they didn't have to dodge bullets when they get there.

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Why do Indians hate the snow so much? Because its white and occupies all of their land.

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What do you call a ripped yeti? The abdominal snow man.

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Password. “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

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I needed a password eight characters long... ... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Score: 27

I used to be a fortune teller but i was really bad at it as i could only predict really bad winter storms.. Turns out i was using a snow globe...

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What did the seven dwarfs say when the Prince awoke Snow White? "Guess it's back to jerking off."

Score: 24

I needed a password 8 characters long .. .. so I used Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Score: 22

Snow in the forecast... ...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"

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What's red and has 7 dents in it? Snow whites cherry!

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What do you call a hooker in a snow storm? Frostitute

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What's red and has seven dents in it? Snow whites cherry.

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What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls.

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What do friends and snow flakes have in common? They all disappear the moment you pee on them.

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New Snow Jokes

I hear Snow White's been turnin' tricks at ye olde tavern... she said she wanted 7 Up & cider!

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I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snow storms .. It turns out I wasn't using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe .

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What’s red and has 7 little dents? Snow White’s Cherry

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An avalanche has started on Mount Everest that threatens to wipe out 20% of its surrounding area. This is snow joke.

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After six months of winter all the snow finally melted. Noice

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I needed the best/worst password possible that was 8 characters long. Guess what I picked... **"I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."**

​

Sorry I was *short* on time for this one!

Score: 2

In college I experimented with marijuana. I did it in snow and I did it in sleet But I did not in hail

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What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot

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What fruit has seven dents. Snow whites cherry.

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What do you call an ugly old woman who dies of hypothermia? A snow crone.

Score: 5

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland? She sat on Pinocchio's nose and screamed, " Lie to me! Lie to Me!"

Score: 4

Breaking news! Snow White down to six dwarves... ...Sneezy has been quarentined by the CDC

Score: 1

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time... The man looks at the tree.

"Only one last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

Score: 3

Disney Corp is so paranoid about the Coronavirus, they re-released the Snow White movie under another name It's now called, Snow White and the 6 Dwarfs.

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What did the snow say to the fence? “Did you catch my drift?”

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Snow white now have 6 dwarfs. Because sneezy is under quarantine.

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You know this Coronavirus thing is bad When Snow White is down to 6 dwarves. I just heard sneezy is now in quarantine

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Snow White is down to six dwarfs. Sneezy has been quarantined!

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Cops are like snow days We love them when we’re young, and hate them when we’re older.

Score: 1

What's the difference between normal snow and German snow? Normal snow falls

and German snow captures the land.

Score: 3

Do you have any good snow jokes? No, but I do love cocaine.

Score: 1

"Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" "You are fair my queen, but Snow White is fairer." Earlier:

Mirror: "Send Nudes"

Snow White: "Ok" *Takes off dress*

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Why did Snow White get kicked out Disney World? She threw Pinocchio on the ground, sat on his face, and said "Lie to me!".

Score: 1

Snow isn’t a problem is Islamic countries but.... ISIS

Score: 10

What is pink, soft, and dented? Snow White’s hymen...

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I needed a password has to be eight characters long. That's easy - I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Score: 9

Why was the snowman so happy? Because the snow blower was coming

Score: 5

Did you hear about the guy who got hospitalised in Antarctica? He’s snow longer alive.

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Why are snowmen the loneliest creatures on Earth? They have snow friends.

Score: 3

What did the snow plougher say to the car drivers before clearing snow Snow problem

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My password needed eight characters So I chose Snow White and the seven dwarves

Score: 4

What would have happened if Hank Snow married June Carter? Six inches of Snow in June.

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Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were in bed, feeling Happy Happy got out, so they started feeling Grumpy

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Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were all in bed, feeling Happy Happy got out, so they started feeling Grumpy

Score: 10

Snow isn’t a problem is Muslim Countries but... ...ISIS

Score: 14

What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy? Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.

Score: 6

Trump wants to buy Greenland Trump wants to buy Greenland. That way when climate change removes the last bit of snow from the area, he can proclaim that he achieved what no one else in history could. He made Greenland, green again.

Score: 12

What happens when you go inside in a snow suit? It melts.

Score: 5

Eskimo prostitutes. Are they considered snow blowers?

Score: 8

I hear Disney is doing a live-action remake of Snow White... ...one of the dwarves is rumored to be played by Bagel Boss Short King.

I think he’ll play Bashful.

Score: 1

How do you track Will Smith in a snow storm? You look for the fresh prince.

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What kind of STD can you get from an Eskimo? Snow crabs.

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Snow White and the 7 dwarves were in bed, feeling Happy Happy got out, so they started feeling Grumpy

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What is pink and has seven small dents in it? Snow White’s hymen.

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Global Warming is Real! My dad used to always walk to school up hill in the snow both ways.

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My new password had to be 8 characters... So I used Snow White and the 7 dwarfs

Score: 8

I like my women how I like my snow Excited to see them but glad it's temporary

Score: 5

German snow does not fall It occupies

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How long did it take for snow white to serve the next round of food? 7 seconds

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I sincerely hope for Daenerys that Jon Snow isn't the one to sit on the Iron Throne... After all she's seen and done, from Meereen to Astapor and across the narrow sea, losing the Throne to Jon is really going to leave her with Aegon her face.

Score: 1

Friends are like snow When you pee on them they go away

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Did you hear about The Mother of Dragons? She got 6 inches of snow last night

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The first snow of spring here in the Midwest is alot like some other great firsts.... Like the first dent in a new car.

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What is an ig? A snow house without a loo.

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Winter precipitation made me laugh today.... Snow joke!!

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What does Jon Snow do when he gets cold? He snuggles up to da-near-es Targaryen.

Score: 10

What’s the difference between snow man and snow woman? Snow balls. Huh got ‘eeeeem

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Snowman If snow people were in a trench war, would the space in between the trenches be Snowman’s land?

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During the last school play I felt funny and came over queasy. At which point I was told to leave the production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Score: 4

Will Smith got lost in the snow They found him by following the Fresh Prints

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Why did the snow man ask to come in. He had snow-where to go.

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