Mormon Jokes

Contents

Funniest Mormon Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol? Invite two of them.

Score: 1488

How do you stop a Mormon from drinking all the beer at your party? Invite a second Mormon.

Score: 399
Funny Mormon Jokes
Score: 119

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze? Invite two of them!!

Score: 113

Why do Mormon women stop having babies at 35? Because 36 is just too many.

Score: 98

How do you keep a mormon from drinking all your beer? Invite 2 mormons

Score: 88

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 35? 36 would be just too many.

Score: 78

Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer

Score: 78

Joseph Smith sold so many copies of the Book of Mormon That they made him a prophet.

Score: 54

I like my Men like I like my Coffee I'm Mormon. I'm not allowed.

Score: 53

What's the difference between a Mormon man and a Muslim man. A Mormon man gets 72 virgins and THEN kills himself.

Score: 36

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah witness and a Mormon? I have no idea but I can’t get him off my porch

Score: 26

What do you call an alcoholic Mormon? An oxymormon

Score: 22

Why did the Mormon cross the road? To get to the other bride.

Score: 20

When you go on a fishing trip with a Mormon, how do you keep him from drinking all of your beer? You invite another Mormon.

Score: 19

What do you call a man who has 5 dishwashers? A Mormon.

Score: 18

What do you call a Mormon climber? A Ladder Day Saint.

Score: 15

Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church? She wanted a high paying missionary position.

Score: 12

How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all your beer on a camping trip? Take two of them with you.

Score: 12

What's the most confusing day in a Mormon home? Mother's Day.

Score: 11

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons.

Score: 11

Have you heard about the Mormon drag queen? She is Polly Glamorous

Score: 10

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze? You invite two of them.

Score: 10

What’s the opposite of a Mormon? An oxymormon.

Score: 9

What do you call a rational scientific Mormon? An Oxymormon

Score: 8

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 38? Because 39 is just too many.

Score: 8

What do you get when you cross a Mormon with an atheist? Someone who knocks on doors for no apparent reason.

Score: 8

First I dated a seventh day adventist and then a mormon I told my mom that im not just in it for the sects but she doesn't believe me.

Score: 7

Where can you find a mormon horse? Salt Lick City.

Score: 6

Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University

Score: 6

A Mormon president would face the most difficult issue any president has. Deciding who's the First Lady, who's the Second Lady, and who's the Third Lady.

Score: 6

How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all of your beer? Invite another Mormon over

Score: 5

How can you tell it's a Mormon wedding? The bride isn't pregnant but her mom is.

Score: 4

What's the difference between a Mormon missionary and a Soviet Lada? You can close the door on a missionary.

Score: 2

Woman opens the door to find a pair of Mormon missionaries on the porch... Missionaries: Have you heard of the Prophet Joseph Smith?

Woman: Yes, that's why I'm not Mormon anymore.

Score: 2

I am a Arkansan, homeschooled, Mormon what is your best joke? Seriously I want to know.

Score: 2

What do you call a religious Pokemon? A Mormon.

What do you call a Jamaican Pokemon?

A Yeahmon.

Score: 2

Which woman is the Holy symbol of the mormon church? Mother Mary me

Score: 1

If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah? A Mormon

Score: 1

What's the difference between a moron and a Mormon? One of them *gets it.*

Score: 1

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New Mormon Jokes

What is one restaurant you will never see a Mormon in? In-N-Out.

Score: 1

Someone threw a Holy Book of Mormon at me and it missed. That joke went over my head

(Mormons reading this, I'm making fun of the book, not of you. Please don't be offended. It's ok. You can laugh.)

Score: 1

What do you call it when the church of Latter Day Saints invades an area? The Mormon conquest.

Score: 1

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