Bartender Jokes

Contents

Funniest Bartender Jokes

Two men are drinking in a bar They pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in.

The bartender comes over and says "you can't eat your own food in here"

So they swapped sandwiches.

An infinite number of people walk into a bar... The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...


The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says... Bear with me...

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

The bartender says, “Go home. We don’t serve faster-than-light-particles here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

Funny Bartender Jokes

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll you have?"
The cat says, "A shot of rum."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” ​

"Because…He’s my newt.

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less. The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?” "Because…He’s my newt.

Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."

Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"

A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar... ...the bartender says "how may I help you, Mr. President?"

The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.

Snake walks into a bar. And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks whata ya have there big fella? The bear says " Give me a .........................................................beer." The bartender says" What's with the big pause?" The bear throws his arms up in the air and says " I DON'T KNOW I WAS BORN WITH THEM."

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".

An original joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Welcome to /r/Jokes! I don't think I've seen you here before." Original joke replies, "Don't worry. Within a week or two, I'll be a regular here!"

Comic Sans walks into a bar The bartender says "Get out - We don't serve your type".

An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says "I'll have to see some id"

A horse walks into a bar "Hey", the Bartender says.

"Sure", the horse replies.

A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem He tells the bartender,"Give me 2 shots of..."

The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get 1 shot."

4 Norse god, 1 Roman god, and 2 astronomical bodies walk into a bar The bartender says " Oh, this is a gonna be a week joke"

A joke walks into a bar... Bartender says woah! I've never *meta* joke before

The bartender asks "why the non-linear sequence?" Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.

Eminem walks into a bar and orders two shots of... The bartender cuts him off and says, “You only get one shot.”

A black hole walks into a bar A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender asks if it would like food with that.

The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater."

Three logicians walk into a bar.. The bartender asks, "would all three of you like some beer?"

The first one replies,"I don't know"

The second one replies, "I don't know either"

The third replies, "Yes all three of us would like a beer"

At a wedding reception, the best man said, 'would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.' The poor bartender was crushed to death.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says, "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line"

Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

Recently got a second job as a bartender at a stripclub. Ive never worked so hard before in my life.

A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,"Give me 2 shots..."

The bartender cuts him off saying,"You only get one shot."

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey."

The horse says, "Sure."

The bartender says "We don't serve time travelers in here." A time traveler walks into a bar.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a punch The bartender says “Sir, if you wanna punch, you gotta get in line.”
The guy looks around but there is no punch line

A dog walks into a bar The dog says, "Gimme a beer." The bartender says, "Wow! You can talk! You should get a job at the circus!" The dog says, "They're hiring electricians at the circus?"

A horse walks into a bar and requests "Hello, I'd like some anthropomorphization please" The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already"

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?" "Pop", goes the weasel.

f(x) walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't cater for functions

Three logicians walk into a bar The bartender asks: "Do you all want a drink?"

The first logician says: "I don't know."

The second logician says: "I don't know."

The third logician says: "Yes."

New Bartender Jokes

So a weasel walks Into a bar. Bartender says "Wow I've never served a weasel before, what can I make for you?" "Pop" goes the weasel.

A snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “How did you do that?”.

Bartender asks a man "You ever had ann orange in your beer?" Man says "Once, in a Blue Moon."

A bigot, a liar, and a rapist walk into a bar The bartender asks, "what'll it be, Mr. President?"

A hamburger walks into a bar The hamburger sits down at the bar and asks the bartender “hey can I get a beer?”
The bartender replies “sorry we don’t serve food here.”

An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says “I’ll have to see some id”.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants The bartender looks at him and asks, "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate looks down and says, "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"

Helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon and argon walk into a bar. The bartender shouted at them: "GET OUT!"

They didn't react.

A joke walks into a bar The bartender says, “That’s weird, I’ve never meta joke before.”

a bishop walks up to a bar and the bartender says ‘you can’t do that. you can only move diagonally.’

f(x) goes into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions"

A paedophile, a rapist, a cheat, and a liar walk in to a bar... Bartender says: What can I get for you Mr. President?

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He immediately yanks the dog and starts to spin him in the air like a lasso. The bartender freaks out, "What are you doing?!?!"


The blind man replies calmly, "Oh, just having a look around."

So, a snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “how did you do that?”

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?" the guy asks the bartender. "Yes, but let's be fair about it," the bartender replies. "It's really hard for a goose to kill a shark."

A bishop walks straight into a bar and orders a beer. "You can't do that," the bartender says. "You can only move diagonally."

So a sandwich walks into a bar He sits down and asks the bartender for a beer, the bartender says “Sorry we don’t serve food here”.

A dog walks into a bar and says, “a pint of beer, please.” The bartender says, “wow, you should be in the circus.” The dog says, “why, do they need electricians?”

Two chemists walk into a bar.. "I'll have H2O," one says.
"I'll have H20, too," says the other.

Neither die, because the bartender understands the context.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar... The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You guys should know your limits."

An original joke walks into a bar. Bartender : Hey, welcome to /r/jokes! I don't think I've seen you here before.

Original joke: Don't worry, I'll be a regular here within a week or two.

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too". The bartender then gives them two glasses of water because he doesn't keep freaking Hydrogen Peroxide on the bar counter.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink... The bartender asks if he'd like food with that.

The black hole said "no thanks, I'm a light eater."

f(x) walks into a bar The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions".


f'(x) walks into a bar... Wait, isn't this the same joke? No, it's derivative humour.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Wow! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt. The bartender asks, “What can I get for ya?”

The man says, “A beer for me, and another for the road.”

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want a drink?" The first logician says, "I don't know."
The second logician says, "I don't know."
The third logician says, "Yes!"

I was tired and bored one night, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

"I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?" "No, I only drink when someone else is paying."

A weasel walks into a bar The bartender exclaims “Well I’ll be! We’ve never have a weasel in here before. Whatever you’d like, you may have. What’ll it be?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

A horse walks into a bar, The bartender says, “Hey!”

The horse replies, “Sure”.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch Bartender says
“Man if you want punch you have to stand in line.” Guy looks around but there is no punchline

I was at a bar the other day, when all of a sudden, the bartender yelled... "Does anyone know CPR!?"

I yelled back, "I know the whole alphabet!" and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed.

Well, except for this one guy.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."

The bartender says: "I'm sorry, but we don't serve FTL particles." A tachyon walks into a bar.

At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said " all the married men please stand next to the person who made your life worth living" The bartender was damn near crushed to death!

Hitler walked in to a bar... The bartenders says "whoa, hitler I thought you were dead"

Hitler says "no, just hiding. I'm planning to kill the rest of the Jews and 5 clowns"

The bartender asks "why the clowns?"

Hitler says "see no one cares about Jews"

A 60 year old Billionaire goes to the bar... ...with his gorgeous 25 year old wife!

The bartender asks him "how did she marry you?"

The billionaire replies " I lied about my age!"

Bartender: " You said 45?"

Billionaire: "No! I said 90!"

A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "I'll have a............beer." The bartender responds, "what's with the big pause?" The bear holds up his arms and says, "always had 'em."

Long Bartender Jokes

Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)

A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."

So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.

The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"

"There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."

"But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"

"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender

"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"

"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"

"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.

The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"

"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."

A man walks into a bar...

The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death."

The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you kill yourself."

The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar.

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

"Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously.

"Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."

A gorilla walks into a bar

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini.
He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can't believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he's standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, "Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything."

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn't say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can't take it anymore.

"You know," he says to the gorilla, "we don't get too many gorillas in here."

And the gorilla says, "At nineteen dollars a drink I'm not surprised."

Me : What's the wifi password?

Bartender : you need to buy a drink first.

Me : Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender : Is Pepsi ok?

Me : Sure, How much is that?

Bartender : 3$

Me : There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender : you need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar...

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel.

"Sir, you look extremely young. I can't serve you even a single beer."

"Oh c'mon. You can't just slide me one?"

"Can't and will not serve to anyone under age."

"Fine. Well what other things do you have?"

"Well for non-alcoholics I have tap water and bottled water, I have coffee, and I have pop. Which would you like?"

"Pop." Goes the weasel.

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together.

So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints.

All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.
But it hasn't affected me brothers though."

A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...

Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

After having the beer, he asks the bartender for the bill.

"$3", says the bartender.

The man just for fun goes on and places a $1 coin on the three ends of the table. The bartender gives him a bad look but has no other option but to pick them up.

This happened for 3-4 days and everyday the bartender felt humiliated.

The next day, he orders a beer but couldn't find three $1 coins to pay the bill. So, he hands the bartender a $5 note. Now, the bartender gets all excited and thinks that it is his day to avenge the hard time he had because of this man. He then places the two $1 coins at the opposite ends of the table.

Now, with a shrewd smile and with all the excitement he goes to the man and says, "Go on, collect your change".

The man then takes out a $1 coin from his pocket and puts it in front of the bartender and says, "One more beer please."

Two guys are sitting next to each other in a pub.

After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."

The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

The guy asks, "Why do you say that?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."

A blind man enters a ladies bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke sir, you should know five things....

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously Mister, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and says, "Nah.... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

A Priest, Rabbi and Atheist walk into a bar and each ask for a drink

The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdained, points to a sign clearly labelled: **NO JOKES SERVED HERE**

Without a fight the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging.

The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool.

Wiping the inside of a glass, the bartender approached and asks the chicken “Are you part of this joke?”

“Yeah.” the chicken replies.

Again, he points to the sign: **NO JOKES SERVED HERE**

The chicks argues “Well then how’s a chicken supposed to get his beak wet?”

The bartender pointed out the window and said “There’s another bar across the road.”

An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."

The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"

The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"

"Pop," goes the weasel.


Edit: It's been brought to my attention that this joke was posted recently, only a few weeks ago. I apologize for the repeat — I hadn't seen it. My apologies to everyone I angered with this. To those who haven't seen it, I hope you enjoy it just the same.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something, our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde, Im a 6’ tall, 200lb black belt, the guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player, the fella on your right is 6’5” pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each on of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if Im gonna have to explain it 5 times.”

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, orders a drink and while he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over, grabs some olives off the bar, eats them, grabs some sliced limes, eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs a cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole...

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”

The guy says, “No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” says the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he’s in the bar again and he has his monkey with him.

He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted.

“Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks.

“Now what?”, responds the patron.

“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!”

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender delivers it, the cowboy looks around and notices the bar is completely deserted other than himself and the bartender...

"Where is everybody? This place is usually packed this time of day," the cowboy says.

The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," says the bartender.

"What kind of name is that? Why do they call him Brown Paper Pete?" the cowboy asks.

"Well," says the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," says the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," says the bartender.

A Guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

It’s my cake day so a joke for everyone

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says

“What’ll it be today?”

The bear says “give me a gin and.........................tonic”

The bartender says “sure thing but why the big pause?”

The bear looks down and says “I dunno? I was just born with them. “

A very drunk man in a bar orders another scotch. The bartender says, "You're too drunk, Joe, go home.

Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.

A few minutes later he walks back in and says, "I'll have a scotch."

The bartender says, "Joe, I told you. You're too drunk. Go home."

Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.

A few minutes later he walks back in and says, "I'll have a scotch."

The bartender says, "Joe, for the last time. You're too drunk. Go home."

Joe says, "Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," and walks out.

A few minutes later he walks back in, stops at the door, stares at the bartender and says, "God damn it! How many bars do you work at?"

A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "How much for a beer?"

The bartender replies "Free".

The customer, completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?"

The Bartender replies "Free".

The guy, still amazed, then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal, then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place".

The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife".

The guy looks all confused, then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?"

The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business".

EDIT: Whoa, that took off. Thanks for the upvotes everyone. I'm glad you all enjoyed the joke so much.