Monkey Jokes

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Funniest Monkey Jokes

Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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TIL Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare... ...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.

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Someone told me today that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Pretty obvious, since I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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What do you call an exploding monkey? A baboom.

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Funny Monkey Jokes
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Sad to report that the inventor of predictive text has passed away His funfair will be held next Monkey

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What do you call a monkey holding a fire cracker? A Baboom!

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Two monkeys entered a bath. Monkey 1: Oooh oooh oooh aaah aaah aaah
Monkey 2: Calm down, it isn't that hot

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Little Johnny The teacher came up to Johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.

Johnny said with confidence "the desk".

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What do you call an explosive monkey? A baboom

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The creator of predictive text died today His funfair is next monkey

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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a monkey? Banned from the zoo.

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The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey

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What type of key opens a banana? A Monkey :3

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A new study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I dont remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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TIL I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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Study shows that people eat more bananas than monkeys I don't even remember the last time I ate a monkey!

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What do you call a exploding monkey? A baboom

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They say that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can definitely believe that. I mean, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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It's true that the Russians where the first to send a dog into space It's also true that the Russians were first to put a monkey into the white house

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What do you get when you put human DNA in a monkey? A lifetime ban from the Zoo

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Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I thought this made sense completely. I didn't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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What do you call a monkey terrorist? A Baboom!

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Two monkeys are sitting in a bath... One monkey says “oooh oooh aaah aaah!”

The other says “put some cold water in then!”

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A young muslim couple go out hunting and shoot a monkey The woman asks, "Shall we eat him?"

The man replies, "No, that's haram, bae!"

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I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels.

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The man who invented autocorrect just died. His funfair will be on Monkey.

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Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons

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What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits? Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

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What do you get when you microwave a monkey? Rhesus pieces.

I'll let myself out.

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What do you call a monkey walking over a minefield? A Baboom!

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What do you call a monkey that likes to gossip? A blaboon.

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If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 in the other, what does he have? Very large hands

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What do you call a monkey ripped into shreds? Rhesus pieces

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What do you call a monkey that works with hookers? A Pimpanzee

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If lion is the king of the jungle, then what is a monkey? An animal.

P.S. courtesy of my 6 year old niece.

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What do you call a monkey thats been ripped to shreds? Rhesus pieces

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A monkey called King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping pong and have a sing-song. What noise does his doorbell make? Buzz

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NY Times said Gen Xers spend the most amount of time on the internet. Data were collected by survey monkey, analyzed by baby boomers and written up by the millennial intern.

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New Monkey Jokes

If the sequel to "Tiger King" was made in China what will it be called? Monkey Ming - Murder, Masks and Mandarin

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What did the monkey say when the lawnmower ran over his tail? It won't be long now.

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what makes an owl and a proboscis monkey special? who nose

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wHY DONT STUPID SRE PE0PLE DUMV 😬😬😬 bec AUS THEY HAVE MONKEY SKIN (0BAMA) 👴🏿👶🏿🤵🏿🤰🏿🙇🏿‍♂️🙋🏿‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️🙆🏿‍♀️🙅🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♂️🙍🏿‍♀️🙎🏿‍♀️👸🏿🤴🏿💂🏿‍♀️🧚🏿‍♀️-------->🐒🐵🙈🙉🙊🦍

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What do you call troubles in the banana trade? Monkey business in the stalk market.

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Why did the first monkey fall of the tree? He was shot.

Why did the second monkey fall of the tree?

He was also shot.

Why did the third monkey fall of the tree?

Peer pressure.

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i once drew a picture of a monkey ising only my feet. He wasn't impressed.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and donkey? Beaten by two angry animals

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We're two days into the Chinese New Year, the year of the rooster and I'm still writing year of the monkey on my checks

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