Navy Jokes

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Funniest Navy Jokes

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub

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Funny Navy Jokes
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TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub

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Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on all of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can *scandanavian*

Score: 1383

Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 528

Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

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TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in

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Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly.

Edit: an adverb.

Score: 281

The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships… So they can scan da navy in…

Score: 262

When I was in the army, I lost my rifle and had to pay $865 for a new one Now I’m starting to understand why navy captains always go down with their ship

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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

Score: 193

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.

Score: 131

Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!

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The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.

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So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 84

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms So they can see their Air Force

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I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

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Why does the new French navy have glass bottom ships? So they can see the old French navy.

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Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 66

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.


What's a pirate's favorite body part?

The arrrrrm.



What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?


No. The Navy you idiot.

Score: 66

Why does the new French navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old French navy.

Score: 62

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

Score: 57

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of all their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

Score: 48

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

Score: 42

Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up.

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BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub.

Score: 33

Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

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Why do Navy SEALs fall backwards off of their boats? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be on the boat!

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Army vs. Navy “When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.”

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Why dose the navy use liquid soap? Because it takes longer to pick up.

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It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan. Talk Abbottabad place to hide.

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Why did the US Navy gift the British Navy glass-bottomed boats? So they could see the old British Navy!

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Heard a vintage 2011 today. The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". Two shots to the face and a splash of water.

Edit: now i think of it, it wasnt funny back then either.

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In the army if you lose your rifle, the government charges you $250 That’s why in the navy the captain always goes down with the ship

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Why did the Italian Navy make their ships with glass bottoms? So they could see the old Italian Navy!

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Why does the Italian Navy have glass bottom boats? To see the old Italian Navy

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Why does rhe Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships So they can scan-da-navy-in...

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Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can...
Scandinavian.

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian.

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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of the ships? So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 18

Did you hear about the Navy hangar that doubles as a church? It's a house of warship

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New Navy Jokes

The Royal Navy had the greatest public image, back in the day... And why wouldn't they? After all, they impressed every sailor they ever met, and kept 'em in shipshape.

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In 2011 dyslexic Navy SEAL team stormed a home furnishing store in Pakistan They were looking for bed linen.

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which animal had the biggest part in the war? The navy seals!

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Why are German Navy soldiers not allowed to think? Because if zey sink in ze wota, zey will draun.

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Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement. But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.

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What do you call a navy pilot? A flying seaman.

I'm so sorry, randon thought and nowhere else to put it.

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Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes? So they can scan the Navy in.

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What happens when you eat too many Navy beans? You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.

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Why does the Swedish navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships ? So that when they come back to port, they can scandinavian.

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Why does the Norway navy got bar codes on the side of the ships ? So when they go home they can
Scandinavian.

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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on their ships? To Scandinavian

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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian

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Why does the Danish Navy have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavi-an

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Did you guys hear that Old Navy has been using fake wool? They can't pull the polyester over our eyes anymore!

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Why did the New Polish Navy build boats with glass bottoms? To see the Old Polish Navy

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What do the Chinese call their navy The censor ships

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Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back, they can Scandinavian!

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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

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Why does norways navy have barcodes on their ships? So the can scan the navy in

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Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on there ships? So when the ships dock they can scan da navy in

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My friend has an unhealthy obsession with Navy destroyers. He warships them.

Score: 9

Why can't the navy participate in the Space Force? Gamma radiation kills seamen.

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Why does the new polish navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old polish navy

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Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on all their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

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Why does the Swedish navy put barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian!

Score: 16

How different military branches use stars The Army sleeps under the stars

The Navy navigates by the stars

And the Airforce choose hotels by the stars

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes on their ships? That way when they return to port they can Scan da navy in

Score: 5

I’m joining the Navy purely out of spite... I'll be a petty officer!

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It was really hard spending Christmas with my estranged family in Mexico. I don’t think anyone cared I was there. The whole time they kept looking for this lady, Phyllis, and her Navy Dad.

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Why does the new Italian navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old Italian navy.

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What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman? At least the otter knows he's not a seal.

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What do you call a jacknife with all the tools removed? A Swiss Navy knife...

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Why do the navy ships in Norway have bar codes on their sides? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

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A Group Of Navy Men Hit The Town! A group of Navy men go to this nightclub to party but the bouncer doesn't allow them in, they question this and the bouncer replies "I'm sorry but out business has strict rules against clubbing seals"

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What are the pros and cons of choosing a Malaysian airlines 777-200 as a stealth plane? Pros: It can't be detected on radar. Chinese navy couldn't find it, so it has a tactical advantage.

Cons: It has a propensity to be shot down by Russian AA missiles.

Score: 1

On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

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I've never understood the Navy's colour being Navy blue. I though they were the aqua-marines.

Score: 14

another french joke Why does the new French navy have glass-bottomed boats?

​

So they can see the old French navy.

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I've blown over 50 men in the Navy since I joined the military. What can I say, I love swallowing sea men.

Score: 2

Why do navy ships carries Marines? Because sheep would be to obvious.

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I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes. I have to take a course in anchor management.

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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

Score: 7

Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 3

In Scandinavia, all of their navy ships have barcodes on the side of them... In Scandinavia, all of their navy ships have barcodes on the side of them. This is because whenever the ships come back to shore, they scan the navy in.

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they return to port, they can easily Scandinavian.

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Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

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Why does the Norway Navy put big barcodes on all their ships? To Scandinavian.

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Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian

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Why do they put Marines on Navy ships? Sheep would be too obvious.

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What's the difference between a Marine and submarine? Nothing. The Navy goes down on both of them.

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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So that way when they come into port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 2

You know, they say loose lips sink ships... That explains why your mom was kicked out of the Navy after visiting her OB/GYN.

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Had a bet going with a friend over who would be the first to get those kids out of that cave, Elon Musk or the Navy SEALs... ...He said Elon Musk, I said it would be a Thai.

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When the little boys stuck in that cave in Thailand are rescued, there’s definitely gonna be a movie. There’s a ex US Navy Seal helping. They’re gonna make the movie all about him and have Scarlett Johansen playing one of the Thai boys.

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Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn

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Why does Norway's Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can... Scandinavian.

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A woman asked an Admiral in the navy the last time he made love to a woman... He said "Oh, no, I'm in the Navy"

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My conservative friends keep warning me that China has a PLAN But I don't see what the People's Liberation Army Navy has to do with anything.

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What does NAVY stand for? Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*.

Score: 2

I was hesitant to join the Navy Cadets, afraid I wouldn’t make any friends But need not worry. We were all in the same boat.

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