Navy Jokes

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Funniest Navy Jokes

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 22839

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 8778
Funny Navy Jokes
Score: 4393

TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub

Score: 2791

In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 1394

Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 528

Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 385

TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in

Score: 342

Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly.

Edit: an adverb.

Score: 281

The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships… So they can scan da navy in…

Score: 262

When I lost my pistol, the Army charged me $125. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 253

When I was in the army, I lost my rifle and had to pay $865 for a new one Now I’m starting to understand why navy captains always go down with their ship

Score: 216

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

Score: 193

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.

Score: 131

Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!

Score: 128

The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.

Score: 105

So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 84

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms So they can see their Air Force

Score: 81

I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

Score: 75

I just enlisted my kids into the Navy. Or as the wife calls it, masturbated in the shower.

Score: 72

Why does the new French navy have glass bottom ships? So they can see the old French navy.

Score: 70

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.


What's a pirate's favorite body part?

The arrrrrm.



What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?


No. The Navy you idiot.

Score: 66

Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 66

Why does the new French navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old French navy.

Score: 62

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship

EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!

Score: 57

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

Score: 57

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

Score: 42

When i lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85$ That's why in the Navy, the captian goes down with the ship

Score: 41

Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up.

Score: 37

BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub.

Score: 33

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of the ships? So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 18

Why does Norway's Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can... Scandinavian.

Score: 16

Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian

Score: 10

Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian

Score: 9

If the Navy ever gets a ship with an EMP... ...they should name it the USS Ellen Pao 'cause it shuts down everything.

Score: 8

Why does the Norway Navy put big barcodes on all their ships? To Scandinavian.

Score: 6

Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on all their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

Score: 6

Why does Norway navy have large barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandanavian.

Score: 5

During basic training, I was teased horribly for wanting to join the Navy. That all changed when I was enlisted. There’s no point teasing each other when you’re all in the same boat.

Score: 5

Why does norways navy have barcodes on their ships? So the can scan the navy in

Score: 4

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New Navy Jokes

I’m watching someone jay-walk from my window in D.C. Then the Navy Seals showed up when he reached the other side.

Score: 0

What do you call a navy pilot? A flying seaman.

I'm so sorry, randon thought and nowhere else to put it.

Score: 0

Why do Scandinavian navy ships have bar codes on them? So that others can scan-the-navy-an

Score: 0

Why does the Norway navy got bar codes on the side of the ships ? So when they go home they can
Scandinavian.

Score: 2

Why does the Danish Navy have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavi-an

Score: 1

A young man goes to a military recruiting office and takes the required tests. The results aren’t great but the recruiter thinks he has potential to be in the Navy. His scores were suboptimal.

Score: 3

Why do the navy ships in Norway have bar codes on their sides? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 3

On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

Score: 4

Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn

Score: 2

Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*.

Score: 2

Why does the Norweigan and Swedish navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back from voyages, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 0

how does the US Navy see at night? they order a lighthouse

Score: 1

What do you call a navy seal and a used defiblirator? An honorable discharge.
(Yah it's trash I know)

Score: 1

I identify as a Nuclear Submarine but my high anxiety prevents me from joining the Navy. I think its because I crack under pressure.

Score: 2

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