Hilarious Navy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Navy Jokes

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub

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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

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TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub

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In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

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Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

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Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

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TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in

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Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly.

Edit: an adverb.

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The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships… So they can scan da navy in…

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When I lost my pistol, the Army charged me $125. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

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When I was in the army, I lost my rifle and had to pay $865 for a new one Now I’m starting to understand why navy captains always go down with their ship

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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

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Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.

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Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!

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The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.

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So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub.

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Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms So they can see their Air Force

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I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

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I just enlisted my kids into the Navy. Or as the wife calls it, masturbated in the shower.

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Why does the new French navy have glass bottom ships? So they can see the old French navy.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.

What's a pirate's favorite body part?

The arrrrrm.

What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?

No. The Navy you idiot.

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Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

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Why does the new French navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old French navy.

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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship

EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!

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I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

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What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

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When i lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85$ That's why in the Navy, the captian goes down with the ship

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Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up.

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BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub.

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It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan. Talk Abbottabad place to hide.

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Why did the US Navy gift the British Navy glass-bottomed boats? So they could see the old British Navy!

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Why does the Italian Navy have glass bottom boats? To see the old Italian Navy

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Why does Norway's Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can... Scandinavian.

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When I lost my rifle.. the Army charged me $85. That is why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship!

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For your consideration: A historical, circular triple entendre Why did the Queen join the Navy after making herself breakfast in bed?

Because she was impressed by Her Service.

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Whats the best Navy in the world? The French Navy, you'll never see them coming!

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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian

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As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals... "It was just a prank bro"

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Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian

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New Navy Jokes

The marines are mainly green, navy is blue and airforce is mostly white. That is both factually and racially correct

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Why do Norwegian Navy vessels have barcode on the side? So they can Scandinavian

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I’m watching someone jay-walk from my window in D.C. Then the Navy Seals showed up when he reached the other side.

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Why do Scandinavian navy ships have bar codes on them? So that others can scan-the-navy-an

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Why does the Norway navy got bar codes on the side of the ships ? So when they go home they can
Scandinavian.

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Why does the Danish Navy have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavi-an

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Why does norways navy have barcodes on their ships? So the can scan the navy in

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Why does the Danish navy have barcodes on all their ships? So they can Scandinavian.

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A young man goes to a military recruiting office and takes the required tests. The results aren’t great but the recruiter thinks he has potential to be in the Navy. His scores were suboptimal.

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During basic training, I was teased horribly for wanting to join the Navy. That all changed when I was enlisted. There’s no point teasing each other when you’re all in the same boat.

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Why do the navy ships in Norway have bar codes on their sides? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

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On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

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Why does the Norway Navy put big barcodes on all their ships? To Scandinavian.

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Had a bet going with a friend over who would be the first to get those kids out of that cave, Elon Musk or the Navy SEALs... ...He said Elon Musk, I said it would be a Thai.

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Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn

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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*.

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Why does the Norweigan and Swedish navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back from voyages, they can Scandinavian.

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Why does Norway navy have large barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandanavian.

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Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships? So that when then come into port they can...
Scandanavian!

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I started studying history and learned something really impressive. Did you know that in the 18th and 19th centuries, the British Navy forced American sailors into service?

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My 87 year old, retired navy grandpa told this joke at family dinner after I graduated physician assistant school: "Well did they teach you how to make a hormone?" Step on her toe

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how does the US Navy see at night? they order a lighthouse

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Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in

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Did you hear that the Swedish navy started adding barcodes to their ships recently? Yeah, they wanted to be able to scan da navy in.

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Why did the navy refuse to have a cyclops for a general? They wouldn't be able to say " eye-eye sir"

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float.

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Why do the swedish navy have barcodes on their ships? So they can scandinavin

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Video: Finnish Navy and Yle mistakenly follow Russian nuclear submarine Whoops. Wrong sub.

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In the army, I lost my rifle and they charged me 85$ That's why in the navy, a captain goes down with his ship.

credits u/koshenYT

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Why do they use powdered soap in the navy? Because it takes longer to pick up.

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What do you call a member of the armed forces in the north sea? A navy seal.

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What do you fill an Old Navy with? Old seamen...

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The US Navy is starting to worry about the North Korean military. Since all the missles they launch at Washington end up hitting the ocean, the odds are they will eventually hit a ship.

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TIL that you can get dishonourably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Does "dying when the ship gets blown up by the enemy" count as dishonourably discharged?

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The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships… So they can scan da navy in.

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My buddy joined the Navy and became a seaman. If he had studied harder, though, he would've been a C+ man instead.

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A Navy captain and his first mate are looking through their telescopes. The first mate claims he can see beautiful island sands in the east.

"Are you positive?" Asks the captain.

"Pretty shore" replies the first mate.

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ELI5 why can you get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once? Whooops wrong sub!

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Q: What has more ships than the navy? A: Anime fanbases

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Never Lose A Tank When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

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