Navy Jokes

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Funniest Navy Jokes

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 22839

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 8778
Funny Navy Jokes
Score: 4393

TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub

Score: 2791

In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 1394

Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 528

Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 385

TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in

Score: 342

Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers. They defend the ships much more eagerly.

Edit: an adverb.

Score: 281

The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships… So they can scan da navy in…

Score: 262

When I lost my pistol, the Army charged me $125. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Score: 253

When I was in the army, I lost my rifle and had to pay $865 for a new one Now I’m starting to understand why navy captains always go down with their ship

Score: 216

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandanavian.

Score: 193

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.

Score: 131

Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!

Score: 128

The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men. They are sending them out to sea.

Score: 105

So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 84

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms So they can see their Air Force

Score: 81

I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.

Score: 75

I just enlisted my kids into the Navy. Or as the wife calls it, masturbated in the shower.

Score: 72

Why does the new French navy have glass bottom ships? So they can see the old French navy.

Score: 70

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.


What's a pirate's favorite body part?

The arrrrrm.



What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?


No. The Navy you idiot.

Score: 66

Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 66

Why does the new French navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see the old French navy.

Score: 62

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship

EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!

Score: 57

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

Score: 57

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning? She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

Score: 42

When i lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85$ That's why in the Navy, the captian goes down with the ship

Score: 41

Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up.

Score: 37

BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub.

Score: 33

How do you separate the men from the boys in the Navy? With a crowbar.

Score: 30

Why do Navy SEALs fall backwards off of their boats? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be on the boat!

Score: 28

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of the ships? So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 18

Why does Norway's Navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can... Scandinavian.

Score: 16

Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian

Score: 9

If the Navy ever gets a ship with an EMP... ...they should name it the USS Ellen Pao 'cause it shuts down everything.

Score: 8

Why does the Norway Navy put big barcodes on all their ships? To Scandinavian.

Score: 6

Why does Norway navy have large barcodes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandanavian.

Score: 5

During basic training, I was teased horribly for wanting to join the Navy. That all changed when I was enlisted. There’s no point teasing each other when you’re all in the same boat.

Score: 5

Why does norways navy have barcodes on their ships? So the can scan the navy in

Score: 4

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New Navy Jokes

I’m watching someone jay-walk from my window in D.C. Then the Navy Seals showed up when he reached the other side.

Score: 0

What do you call a navy pilot? A flying seaman.

I'm so sorry, randon thought and nowhere else to put it.

Score: 0

Why do Scandinavian navy ships have bar codes on them? So that others can scan-the-navy-an

Score: 0

Why does the Norway navy got bar codes on the side of the ships ? So when they go home they can
Scandinavian.

Score: 2

A young man goes to a military recruiting office and takes the required tests. The results aren’t great but the recruiter thinks he has potential to be in the Navy. His scores were suboptimal.

Score: 3

Why do the navy ships in Norway have bar codes on their sides? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

Score: 3

A Group Of Navy Men Hit The Town! A group of Navy men go to this nightclub to party but the bouncer doesn't allow them in, they question this and the bouncer replies "I'm sorry but out business has strict rules against clubbing seals"

Score: 2

On a US Navy vessel is written: “USS.” What does that stand for? -United States Ship.

And on a British vessel it says: “HMS”?

-Her Majesty’s Ship

And on an Italian one it says: “AMB”?

-Aaatsah Meh Boat

Score: 4

Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn

Score: 2

Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*.

Score: 2

Why does the Norweigan and Swedish navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back from voyages, they can Scandinavian.

Score: 0

how does the US Navy see at night? they order a lighthouse

Score: 1

What do you call a navy seal and a used defiblirator? An honorable discharge.
(Yah it's trash I know)

Score: 1

I identify as a Nuclear Submarine but my high anxiety prevents me from joining the Navy. I think its because I crack under pressure.

Score: 2

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