Comedy Jokes

Contents

Funniest Comedy Jokes

Funny Comedy Jokes
Score: 1694

If comedy = tragedy + time, what's comedy + time? A repost.

Score: 1683

What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"

I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

Score: 1113

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.

Score: 417

Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.

Score: 241

I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian I can stand up, now all I need is comedy

Score: 145

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.

Score: 132

Here is some comedy gold for you ,d Au

Score: 123

What's the difference between a Shakespeare comedy and Fox News? One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.

Score: 119

My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

Score: 88

Dark Comedy A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.

Score: 59

Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful" I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.

Score: 38

Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted to do stand up comedy Well, no one's laughing now

Score: 32

3 American Comedy shows walk into a bar and... This punchline is not available in your country.

Sorry about that.

Score: 28

A lot of comedy today is observational humor You guys ever noticed that?

Score: 26

I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win. But, no pun in ten did.

Score: 25

My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me. I turned him down. After all, I could never enjoy jokes at other people's expense.

Score: 22

One thing a paralyzed person can not do is? Stand up comedy

Score: 21

Sean Connery only asked his wife to sit on his face once. ** comedy silence **

Score: 17

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto

I would like my comedy award now please

Score: 16

I really hate being a comedian so I broke my legs Guess who’s not doing stand up comedy

Score: 13

My chiropractor recently started doing stand up comedy He really cracks me up.

Score: 13

There's an ISIS comedy night coming up... I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb.

Score: 13

Facebook and basic cable Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.

Score: 11

My buddy wrote a comedy routine about menorahs. It was just a bunch of candle shtick.

Score: 10

Did you hear a bunch of surgeons are at the comedy club? It's open Mike night.

Score: 9

Why's it so hard to perform comedy in a liquor store? Because you always only get booze

Score: 9

Secret To Comedy Guy 1: Hey! Ask me "What is is the secret to comedy?"

Guy 2: Okay ... What is the sec-

Guy 1: TIMING!!!



sorry if it sucks

Score: 9

Louis CK returned to the stage last night with a 15 minute set at the Comedy Store in New York. He needed the exposure.

Score: 9

Comedy is in my blood. I just wish it were also in my jokes.

Score: 8

Why did the cannibal bring his silverware to the comedy club? He heard there would be an open Mike.

Score: 8

I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy She said, "You're joking"

I said, "I told you I was good"

Score: 8

A miner said he could make anyone laugh He showed me something

And I immediately burst out laughing

What was it?

A shiny yellow stone

It was comedy gold

Score: 8

Comedy is hard. For example: I tried writing a joke about toilets, but it tanked

Score: 8

Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the hedge?


One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)

Score: 8

Yesterday, I had a blast roasting this random fat guy in a comedy club the audience loved it but some said it was a little too spicy for their taste.

Score: 7

A sitcom about a 9/11 hijacker was in the works for Comedy Central But it never made it past the pilot episode

Score: 7

I went to a comedy night at a haunted mansion I got booed off the stage

Score: 7

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel? Tequil-a Mockinbird

Edit: I've been told this is apparently a real drink... whatever, classic comedy

Score: 7

I went to a comedy club the other night, and the comedian didn't show up. No joke.

Score: 6

A boy asks a magician... A boy asks a magician: how did you get into comedy and magic?

The magician: It was because of my parents, my mom made me and my dad disappeared.

Score: 6

Popular Topics

New Comedy Jokes

One moment Chris D’Elia’s the King of Comedy the next he’s barely regal.

Score: 3

I tried stand up comedy once I got kicked out for “interrupting”.
Apparently you aren’t supposed to shout “comedy” during someone’s performance

Score: 1

I went to a comedy bakery the other day... The baker didn't loaf at his own jokes.

It was a bread pan delivery.

Score: 2

What's the difference between comedy and political correctness? One is making light of a dark situation.

The other is making dark of a light situation.

Score: 5

I went thirsty at the comedy club. The punch lines were terrible!

Score: 3

John Malkovich is like a comedy towel. Everything he touches becomes dry humor

Score: 3

If Himalayas was the mountain of comedy... Everest would be the peak of comedy

Score: 1

Me, practicing my comedy routine and my favorite Central Asian sport simultaneously *\*crickets\**

Score: 2

What is the body’s comedy festival called? Humer us

Score: 1

Stand-up comedy is a great gig for a zombie. Either they are dying up there, or they are killing it.

Score: 2

What do you call a WW2 German Comedy troupe? The Laffwaffe.

Score: 2

Today, I am revealing the three unwritten rules of comedy 1.

2.

3.

Score: 4

What do you call it when you give a gold award to a joke? Comedy gold.

Score: 2

Dark comedy is like clean water. Not everyone gets it.

Score: 5

The government recommends all gatherings of 10 or more people to be canceled in these trying times I'd just like to remind everybody my comedy show is STILL On tonight.

Score: 2

A social activist was performing a standup routine at his local comedy club. He always had trouble getting his message heard, but tonight for some reason, his ideas were really popular. The real comment is always in the jokes

Score: 1

Feminist and comedy are like anti-vaxxers and children. You don't mix the two

Score: 1

You shouldn't do puns at a comedy show They're groaners not showners.

Score: 2

How did the Muslim do at the comedy club? He bombed.

Score: 1

A chicken once tried doing stand up comedy But it got booed off stage for fowl jokes. It's a shame really, it was only avian a laugh.

Score: 1

Comedy is just.... Some antics with semantics

Score: 3

Why don't the Starks watch Comedy Central? They have no Sansa humor.

Score: 1

There is a Monsters Inc Comedy Show in Disney World and you can send in jokes to be included, here's mine (it was included) What's a swamp monster's favorite holiday treat.

Egg-Bog

Score: 3

I saw Santa Claus perform at a comedy club He sleighed.

Score: 1

I’m polyamorous I’m into white women and into white men

or as I like to say “Poly wants a cracker”

(Credit Jon Gabrus on Comedy Bang Bang)

Score: 1

I was late to a comedy show and the guy on stage said why are you late that's rude I told him sorry it's because my wife is pregnant

He then asked How long till the baby is due

I said about 9 months

Score: 4

I tried doing stand up comedy as a paraplegic It didn’t work out

Score: 3

I am going through a nasty, unmutual divorce because she didn't love me anymore, and my new girlfriend is a paralegal who is helping me file. There is no punchline. I just can't help but laugh at this weird comedy sketch I've been thrust into.

Score: 2

I attended a comedy seminar once... It was horrible, they needed more trees. Because comedy comes in trees.

Score: 3

Comedy Gold. T-Rex: Hey look a shooting star! Make a wish.


Raptor: I wish i was dead lol.




T-Rex: Me too Lmao


Raptor: aye it looks like its getting closer

Score: 1

When do sweet potatoes like to go to the comedy club? Yamateur hour.

Score: 3

They say comedy is tragedy plus time. I guess that means when I turn 40, I should be pretty goddamn funny.

Score: 4

The trouble with comedy I thought seriously about doing stand up comedy, and thought no way, what if they laugh at me?

Score: 1

10 puns entered the annual comedy contest of their town At the end, someone from the audience asked - so who won ?

The judge replied : No pun in ten did

Score: 5

What do you call a Leprechaun in a stand-up routine? Comedy Gold!

Score: 2

I'm opening a Comedy Club on the beach. Comic Sands.

Score: 3

I used to do stand up comedy with former WWE Superstar Rikishi He was the butt of all my jokes

Score: 3

I did a comedy routine for a paraplegics' charity event once I got moderate applause, but I was disappointed when I didn't get a standing ovation.

Score: 3

Apparently doing your homework while watching stand-up comedy is quite difficult You'd have to read in between the lines

Score: 4

Why can’t OJ Simpson go to a comedy club? Because his jokes kill them every time.

Score: 5

Here is a real life comedy story A guy in Nepal got imprisoned when he made a review saying a movie was bad
He was accused of destroying the film industry and the career of the actors
Imagine the directors of the emoji movie knowing this

Score: 2

Comedy is very serious business. It's no laughing matter.

Score: 3

My comedian friend arranged a date with a girl and didn't show up. She wasn't pleased. Some people just don't appreciate stand-up comedy these days.

Score: 3

What’s the secret to comedy timing? I don’t know, I’m not a comedian.

Score: 3

Ah, Christmas cracker jokes... ...the cheapest form of comedy

Score: 1

A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time... Let's just say he was the bomb.

Score: 2

What's so offensive about short people jokes? I consider them the height of comedy

Score: 2

I went to see street comedy in Paris. It was a riot.

Score: 1

How many Netflix documentaries will be made about the corruption of the Trump administration once a new leader is in office? 1, since every comedian is getting their own comedy special.

Score: 3

What eats pickles? A picked onion!


*put comedy laughter here*

Score: 1

A German talk show host once asked Robin Williams why he thought there wasn't much comedy in Germany "Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?" he replied.

"No."

Score: 6

I did a comedy show for alzheimers sufferers Two hours, one joke.

I did a comedy show for alzheimers sufferers. Two hours, one joke.

I did a comedy show for alzheimers sufferers. Two hours, one joke.

Score: 3

I am so honored to have had the privilege of performing my comedy in the biggest most pack venue in the world. The internet-THANKS SO MUCH GUYS YOU'VE ALL BEEN GREAT!-LOVE YOU- GOOD NIGHT!

Score: 2

I heard some of the jokes on this subreddit don't sit to well with y'all... How 'bout some stand up comedy instead?

Score: 5

My chess strategy and comedy have something in common I always concentrate on the pawns

Score: 2

I took my blind friend to go see stand up comedy once after the viewing had ended, he told me that the jokes were so old, lame, and boring that even he could have seen them coming.

Score: 3

All jokes go to heaven... As long as they’re buried in a comedy cemetery

Score: 2

Explaining comedy is like dissecting a frog. F*cking gross.

Score: 3

Comedy is like cancer... You either give up or get better

Score: 2

Apparently Colin Kaepernick is pursuing a career in comedy He’s landed some acting roles but he can’t do stand-up.

Score: 5

The first rule of comedy is “The Rule of Threes”... The second rule of comedy is “Subvert Expectations.”

Score: 2

Popular Topics