Comedy Jokes

Contents

Funniest Comedy Jokes

Funny Comedy Jokes
Score: 1694

If comedy = tragedy + time, what's comedy + time? A repost.

Score: 1683

What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"

I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

Score: 1113

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.

Score: 417

Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.

Score: 241

I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian I can stand up, now all I need is comedy

Score: 145

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.

Score: 132

Here is some comedy gold for you ,d Au

Score: 123

My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

Score: 88

Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful" I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.

Score: 38

Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted to do stand up comedy Well, no one's laughing now

Score: 32

3 American Comedy shows walk into a bar and... This punchline is not available in your country.

Sorry about that.

Score: 28

A programmer tries his hand at stand-up comedy: "Forward-slash forward-slash a man walks into a bar..." A heckler yells at him: "Why do you keep doing that weird forward-slash thing?!"

He responds: "Don't you know? The best jokes are always in the comments."

Score: 28

What’s Elon Musk’s favourite comedy? Bambi

Score: 28

A lot of comedy today is observational humor You guys ever noticed that?

Score: 26

I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win. But, no pun in ten did.

Score: 25

My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me. I turned him down. After all, I could never enjoy jokes at other people's expense.

Score: 22

One thing a paralyzed person can not do is? Stand up comedy

Score: 21

What's a Russian's favorite form of comedy? Tsarcasm :D

Score: 19

What do you get when you combine tragedy and comedy? American politics.

Score: 17

Sean Connery only asked his wife to sit on his face once. ** comedy silence **

Score: 17

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto

I would like my comedy award now please

Score: 16

My life is like a romantic comedy... except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.

Score: 16

There's an ISIS comedy night coming up... I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb.

Score: 13

I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour. Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

Score: 13

I really hate being a comedian so I broke my legs Guess who’s not doing stand up comedy

Score: 13

Dark Comedy A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.

Score: 13

What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream? Sherbert.

(I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend, no idea if he came up with it or not.)

Score: 12

This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet... Acronym


Based


Comedy

Doesn't

Ever

Feel


Good

Honestly,

I

Just

Keep

Lamenting

My

Negative

Opinion,

Perhaps

Questioning

Reality


Serves

The


Universe

Very

Well

...


Xylophone, yak, zebra.

Score: 12

Facebook and basic cable Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.

Score: 11

Louis CK returned to the stage last night with a 15 minute set at the Comedy Store in New York. He needed the exposure.

Score: 9

I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy She said, "You're joking"

I said, "I told you I was good"

Score: 8

Yesterday, I had a blast roasting this random fat guy in a comedy club the audience loved it but some said it was a little too spicy for their taste.

Score: 7

All my friends keep telling me "Get Out" is a must-see. I don't know, though.... I've never really been a fan of black comedy.

Score: 7

Do you know how much I hate observational comedy? This much.

Score: 7

What do you get when you cross hard alcohol with a classic American novel? Tequil-a Mockinbird

Edit: I've been told this is apparently a real drink... whatever, classic comedy

Score: 7

Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television... In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.

Score: 6

What's Stephen Hawking's least favorite kind of comedy? Standup.

Score: 5

Apparently Colin Kaepernick is pursuing a career in comedy He’s landed some acting roles but he can’t do stand-up.

Score: 5

Why can’t OJ Simpson go to a comedy club? Because his jokes kill them every time.

Score: 5

Popular Topics

New Comedy Jokes

I saw the funniest two person stand up comedy act last night!! Definitely not gonna miss the next *presidential debate*

Score: 1

We should thank Trump and Biden For giving this great standup comedy night.

Score: 2

I was doing stand up comedy at my school's ceremony They thought I was used as an example by the drug awareness campaign

Score: 2

Why do riot police hang out at comedy clubs? Because they love a good punch line!

Score: 2

A social activist was performing a standup routine at his local comedy club. He always had trouble getting his message heard, but tonight for some reason, his ideas were really popular. The real comment is always in the jokes

Score: 0

Feminist and comedy are like anti-vaxxers and children. You don't mix the two

Score: 0

You shouldn't do puns at a comedy show They're groaners not showners.

Score: 1

My roomate invited me to go out to a comedy club because he wanted some comedy in his life. I promptly told him to look in the mirror.

Score: 0

A list of two things people in wheelchairs hate: Stand up comedy

Stairs

Score: 1

I tried doing stand up comedy as a paraplegic It didn’t work out

Score: 3

I am going through a nasty, unmutual divorce because she didn't love me anymore, and my new girlfriend is a paralegal who is helping me file. There is no punchline. I just can't help but laugh at this weird comedy sketch I've been thrust into.

Score: 2

I attended a comedy seminar once... It was horrible, they needed more trees. Because comedy comes in trees.

Score: 3

I used to want to do stand up comedy. Both my legs and dreams were crushed the next day

Score: 2

What do you call a Leprechaun in a stand-up routine? Comedy Gold!

Score: 2

I'm opening a Comedy Club on the beach. Comic Sands.

Score: 3

What is wheelchair users' favourite type of comedy? Stand-up comedy.



This is just a joke please don't consider it as offensive.

Score: 3

Ah, Christmas cracker jokes... ...the cheapest form of comedy

Score: 1

A Terrorist Tries Stand Up Comedy for the First Time... Let's just say he was the bomb.

Score: 2

I went to see street comedy in Paris. It was a riot.

Score: 1

How many Netflix documentaries will be made about the corruption of the Trump administration once a new leader is in office? 1, since every comedian is getting their own comedy special.

Score: 3

I took my blind friend to go see stand up comedy once after the viewing had ended, he told me that the jokes were so old, lame, and boring that even he could have seen them coming.

Score: 3

I was invited to do a comedy stand-up routine at the local Dyslexia Association's Gala Dinner. When I went on stage and was announced as a comedian, one of the audience shouted "Go on then,let's see you change colour"

Score: 1

I've recently written a romantic comedy It's about a guy and a girl - *classic.*

Initially, they hate each other - *classic.*

But they end up in bed together - *classic!*

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's called: "The Rapist"

Score: 2

What did the organic chemist say at the start of his stand-up comedy routine? Enjoy the show, I've got alkynes of jokes for you!

Score: 1

You know what they say about toilet humor... It's the shittiest form of comedy!

Score: 1

People say comedy comes from a sad place... Just got back from Puerto Rico and I'm still unfunny.

Score: 2

I was in a comedy club where the performer referred to asians with the n-word in one of his jokes. I thought that was a bit off-color.

Score: 1

Hear about the eco-friendly comedy tour? They recycle jokes.

Score: 3

I'm starting a comedy open mic at 10:00 am on Sundays. Calling it Church. The only requirements are that you feel obliged to attend, hate coming, but leave feeling just a bit smug that you were there at all.

Score: 1

I went to comedy show where all the comedians are dead. They were telling some posthumorous jokes.

Score: 1

BREAKING: Jack Black and Lewis Black arrested after fight outside NYC comedy club. A classic case of Black on Black crime

Score: 2

Why do Band Directors do so good at Stand-Up Comedy? Their jokes are very well orchestrated.
(Edit: Was checking posts to see if this was done before. Credit to u/EmpiricalPeguin in the Comments of a Beethoven joke post)

Score: 3

They say comedy equals tragedy plus time, but who has time for that? That's the whole joke... sorry... Have a haiku?


Life is but a joke

Behind everybody's face

Skulls smile agreement


Edit: Fixed the "smile" issue and slight phrasing :)

Score: 2

I saw Comedy Central launch a funny non-political TV show... Then I woke up

Score: 3

Watching Amy Schumer is a lot like watching surgery. Watching Amy Schumers Comedy is a lot like watching surgery videos on Youtube.
It's unsettling, it's gross and it doesn't make you laugh once.

Score: 3

What did the audience say about the virologist's set at the comedy club? He had an infectious sense of humor, but needed to work on telling his jokes at a less feverish pace.

Score: 3

If a guy in a wheelchair is on stage telling jokes ... Is it still called stand-up comedy?

Score: 4

What do you call an ex-comedy-central comedian's favorite organ? (x-post from /r/dadjokes) The John O**liver**

Score: 2

What happens when a painter can't finish a joke? Sketch Comedy

Score: 4

What do you call a Romanic comedy duo of a man and a goat who specializes in mocking the constructs of society? Satyre.

Score: 2

Did you hear about the hair dryer that tried stand up comedy? He blew it

Score: 1

There's a new The President show on Comedy Central starting the 27th about Donald Trump We can just watch Fox News until then.

Score: 2

Im living a romantic comedy Everyone is finding true love while my love life itself is a joke

Score: 2

I wouldn't call short-format comedy timid, but... It sure is skittish

Score: 1

My leg is going to be removed tomorrow. What's something I should do while I still have it? Stand up comedy.

Score: 2

I bought a Rolex before trying & failing at stand up comedy. Apparently you need more than impeccable timing.

Score: 2

I would make a pun about sealife... But I'm pretty sure half of you would krill me for it.

This is comedy gold(fish).

Score: 5

They say comedy comes from a dark place. That's why farts are so funny.

Score: 5

I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy. It's very low-brow humour.

Score: 4

My boss is sick of my comedy at work and says if I tell one more joke then I'll be fired! Well, I'll have the last laugh

Score: 2

When aliens don't understand 9/11 comedy... We should say:

'Its fine. It was an inside-joke.'

Score: 3

What did Rudolph the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.

Score: 2

A murderer tried stand up comedy and he killed it.

Score: 2

Halloween is a great time for comedy Because skeleton jokes are always humerus

Score: 1

For my birthday... For my birthday I got myself glasses. So my observational comedy’s really improved

Score: 2

What did the comedy club proprietor say to the FedEx guy? The jokes are ok but you need to work on your delivery.

Score: 4

Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis.

Score: 2

looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate

Score: 2

Everyone should invest in silent comedy. After all, mime *is* money.

Score: 1

There is a line in comedy that you should not cross and that line starts at the Boston Marathon.

Score: 1

Popular Topics