What's The Difference Jokes

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Funniest What's The Difference Jokes

Funny What's The Difference Jokes
Score: 17208

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing.

Score: 16502

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

Score: 14960

What's the difference between a casino and a church? You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

Score: 12624

What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...

Bit of British humour right there ;)

Score: 12000

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 11159

What's the difference between England and Viagra? Viagra can get you past a semi

Score: 10938

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Score: 9572

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Iraqi preschool? I have no idea, I just fly the drone.

Score: 9322

What's the difference between Thailand and America? Thailand reunites boys with their families.

Score: 9198

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of is paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Score: 7727

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

Score: 7149

What's the difference between a religion and a cult? In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it is all bullshit.

In a religion that person is dead.

Score: 6976

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 6766

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

Edit: certainly didn't expect this to get so many votes or make it to the front page.

Score: 4596

What's the difference between an actress and a hooker. That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.

Score: 3821

What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards

Score: 3282

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

What's the difference between communism and a pencil? The pencil works on things other than paper.

Score: 2936

What's the difference between a good joke and A bad joke timing

Score: 2744

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

Score: 2677

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

Score: 2324

What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

Score: 2315

What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe.

Score: 2216

What's the difference between Trump becoming president and a soldier dying in combat? The soldier knew what he signed up for.

Score: 2078

What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.

Score: 1920

What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Your mom can't take a joke

Score: 1917

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

Score: 1637

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger.

Score: 1635

What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

Score: 1598

What's the difference between American girls and Middle Eastern girls? American girls get stoned BEFORE they commit adultery.

Score: 1529

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Afghanistan elementary school? I have no clue, I just fly the drone.

Score: 381

What's the difference between my dad and other dads? Beats me.

Score: 200

What's the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.

Score: 188

What's the difference between my job and a dead hooker? My job still sucks

Score: 184

What's the difference between me and my calendar? Calendar has dates.

Score: 90

What's the difference between a soldier and a teacher? As a soldier, it is your job to kill people.

As a teacher, it is your job to try very hard not to kill people.

Score: 70

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill? One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

Score: 57

What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

Score: 54

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New What's The Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a really bad golfer and a really bad skydiver? The golfer goes: wack, darn. The skydiver goes: darn, wack.

Score: 15

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable in the South? A vegetable can get married

Score: 14

What's the difference between a genie and a genius? A genie grants wishes. A genius wishes for grants.

Score: 32

What's the difference between a school shooting and a royal wedding? A royal wedding doesn't happen every week.

Score: 30

What's the difference between 'Lamp' and 'Hard'? I can sleep with a lamp on.

Score: 16

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr Day and St Patrick's Day? On St Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish.

Score: 17

What's the difference between a Texan and a Redneck? Texans ride horses, Rednecks ride their cousins

Score: 25

What's the difference between yo momma and a rooster? A rooster says cockadoodledoo

Yo momma says anycocklldo

Score: 21

What's the difference between a clown and a colombian? Ones a smug juggler the other is a drug smuggler.

Score: 12

What's the difference between a terrorist and a five year old? I don't know, I just pilot the drone

Score: 46

What's the difference between a pound of cocaine and a baby? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a pound of coke fall out of a window

Score: 27

What's the difference between feminists and a suicide vest? The suicide vest actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.

Score: 21

What's the difference between a mattress and a highway? A baby will cry for hours if you throw it on a mattress but it stops crying pretty quickly if you throw it on a highway.

Score: 14

What's the difference between a male paragraph and a female paragraph? The male one has no periods.

Score: 23

What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a New York bus station? Ones a busty crustacean the other one is a crusty bus station

Score: 39

What's the difference between a baby and another baby? I don't know, but let's hope their mothers don't either.

Score: 32

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani school I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

What's the difference between a paratrooper and a paraplegic? A working parachute.

Score: 12

What's the difference between a chick pea and potato? I've never paid $50 to have a potato on my face.

Score: 20

What's the difference between bullets and everyone ? Everyone misses Harambe.

Score: 18

What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide.

Score: 50

What's the difference between racism and chinese people? Racism has many faces.

Score: 21

What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club? One drops acid while the other drops the base.

Score: 42

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum? With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!

Score: 24

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans? If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Score: 12

What's the difference between a robber and a politician? Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

Score: 43

What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly.

Score: 41

What's the difference between a Donald Trump and Ellen Pao? Edit: Trump can ruin a business right.

Score: 22

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?? Attire

Score: 12

What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a terrorist training camp? I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

Score: 26

What's the difference between OP and Fed-Ex?

Score: 12

What's the difference between a hippy and a hockey player? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Score: 14

An oldie... What's the difference between a circus and a sorority? The circus has cunning stunts.

Score: 40

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk? A mootation

Score: 28

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three ho's

Score: 15

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

Score: 41

What's the difference in a voyeur and a thief? A thief snatches your watch...

Score: 22

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? Placement of the dirt bag.

Score: 13

What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? People don't milk cows for twelve years

Score: 34

What's the difference between an Ethiopian and a pair of pants? a pair of pants only has one fly.

Score: 20

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scottish people? The Rolling Stones sing "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" and the Scots say "Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Score: 14

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have Bird Flu, you need tweetment. If you have Swine Flu, you need oink-ment.

Score: 20

What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? ... Britney asked to be hit one more time..

Score: 43

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Who cares! More bacon for me.

Score: 32

What's the difference between Notre Dame and Lucky Charms cereal? One of them belongs in a bowl.

Score: 48

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.



Too soon?

Score: 21

What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One's a bottom-dwelling, muck-sucker and the other is a fish.

Score: 14

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Score: 23

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts? Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

Score: 28

What's the difference between princess Diana and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver

Score: 25

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? [personal favorites] Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's thirteen.

Score: 15

What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter? One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter

Score: 12

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne doesn't come on a boys face till 14

Score: 17

What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? ...you can't milk a cow for a decade straight.

Score: 49

What's the difference between a toilet and a microwave? If your answer was "I don't know", please don't invite me over for dinner.

Score: 40

What's the difference between an art school student and a monkey? Monkeys can do math.

Score: 12

What's the difference between your mother and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Score: 22

What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years, the job still sucks.

Score: 12

What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman? The hockey team showers after three periods.

Score: 21

What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth? One was planned.

Score: 53

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