What's The Difference Jokes

Contents

Funniest What's The Difference Jokes

Funny What's The Difference Jokes
Score: 17208

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing.

Score: 16502

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

Score: 14960

What's the difference between a casino and a church? You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

Score: 12624

What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...

Bit of British humour right there ;)

Score: 12000

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 11159

What's the difference between England and Viagra? Viagra can get you past a semi

Score: 10938

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus? One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

Score: 9572

What's the difference between an ISIS outpost and an Iraqi preschool? I have no idea, I just fly the drone.

Score: 9322

What's the difference between Thailand and America? Thailand reunites boys with their families.

Score: 9198

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of is paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Score: 7727

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick? You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

Score: 7149

What's the difference between a religion and a cult? In a cult, there is someone on top that knows it is all bullshit.

In a religion that person is dead.

Score: 6976

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Score: 6766

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels comes alive when you add Coke.

Edit: certainly didn't expect this to get so many votes or make it to the front page.

Score: 4596

What's the difference between an actress and a hooker. That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.

Score: 3821

What's the difference between USA and USB? One has standards

Score: 3282

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Score: 2960

What's the difference between communism and a pencil? The pencil works on things other than paper.

Score: 2936

What's the difference between a good joke and A bad joke timing

Score: 2744

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

Score: 2677

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

Score: 2324

What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

Score: 2315

What's the difference between everybody and bullets? Everybody misses Harambe.

Score: 2216

What's the difference between Trump becoming president and a soldier dying in combat? The soldier knew what he signed up for.

Score: 2078

What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.

Score: 1920

What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Your mom can't take a joke

Score: 1917

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

Score: 1637

What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun has only one trigger.

Score: 1635

What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture

Score: 1598

What's the difference between American girls and Middle Eastern girls? American girls get stoned BEFORE they commit adultery.

Score: 1529

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Hitler? Hitler had supporters.

Score: 1141

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron women? One is a super hero and the other is a simple comand.

Score: 291

What's the difference between rock and jazz? Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

Score: 230

What's the difference between an arts student and a table? A table can support itself

Score: 76

What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated

Score: 64

What's the difference between an ER doctor and an editor? One has patients with comas, the other has patience with commas.

Score: 61

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr day and saint pattys day Everybody wants to be irish on saint pattys day.

Score: 58

What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth? One was planned.

Score: 53

What's the difference between Notre Dame and Lucky Charms cereal? One of them belongs in a bowl.

Score: 48

Popular Topics

New What's The Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a painkiller addict and an Anglo Saxon? One overtakes Vicodin and the other overtakes a Viking den

Score: 11

What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable in the South? A vegetable can get married

Score: 14

What's the difference between a genie and a genius? A genie grants wishes. A genius wishes for grants.

Score: 32

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? Well, an epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits.

Score: 11

What's the difference between Dracula and a government worker? Dracula does more work during the day

Score: 12

What's the difference between 'Lamp' and 'Hard'? I can sleep with a lamp on.

Score: 16

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr Day and St Patrick's Day? On St Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish.

Score: 17

What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia? In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

Score: 42

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

Score: 10

What's the difference between a piano , tuna and sticky glue? you can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna

Score: 11

What's the difference between a funny Dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander.

Score: 21

What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman? One's a superhero, the other is a command.

Score: 12

What's the difference between yo momma and a rooster? A rooster says cockadoodledoo

Yo momma says anycocklldo

Score: 21

What's the difference between imitation bread and the Canadian prime minister? One is fake dough, the other is Trudeau.

Score: 46

What's the difference between a terrorist and a five year old? I don't know, I just pilot the drone

Score: 46

What's the difference between a male paragraph and a female paragraph? The male one has no periods.

Score: 23

What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a New York bus station? Ones a busty crustacean the other one is a crusty bus station

Score: 39

What's the difference between a baby and another baby? I don't know, but let's hope their mothers don't either.

Score: 32

What's the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani school I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

Score: 23

What's the difference between a Dutch comedian and a piece of steel pipe? One is a silly Hollander, the other is a hollow cylinder.

Score: 11

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day? Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

Score: 37

What's the difference between the English National Football Team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer
^^^^football=soccer

Score: 11

What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app? Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.

Score: 21

What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high? The electrician knows where the ground is.

Score: 15

What's the difference between tumblr and a gun? The gun has only one trigger

Score: 13

What's the difference between Jews and a bullet? The bullet comes out of the chamber.

Score: 29

What's the difference between a black joke and Mexican joke? Nothing. If you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

Score: 16

What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster? One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.

Score: 15

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a gluestick? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

Score: 38

What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club? One drops acid while the other drops the base.

Score: 42

What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? …One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!

(My husband groaned loudly when I told him this one, so I knew it was pretty good.)

Score: 11

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans? If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Score: 12

What's the difference between herpes and friends? I don't have any friends.

Score: 11

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire

Score: 11

What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly.

Score: 41

What's the difference between a Donald Trump and Ellen Pao? Edit: Trump can ruin a business right.

Score: 22

What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?? Attire

Score: 12

What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a terrorist training camp? I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

Score: 26

What's the difference between OP and Fed-Ex?

Score: 12

What's the difference between OP and a Pregnant woman? She delivers.

Score: 47

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an elementary school? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

Score: 10

An oldie... What's the difference between a circus and a sorority? The circus has cunning stunts.

Score: 40

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

Score: 41

What's the difference between snowman and snowWoman? ...Snowballs.

Score: 23

What's the difference between Karate and Judo? Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

Score: 13

What's the difference between a Social Worker and a pitbull? You'll get some of your child back from the pitbull.

Score: 30

What's the difference between a hockey player and a French woman? Hockey players shower after three periods.

Score: 23

What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers? Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.

Score: 12

What's the difference between an Ethiopian and a pair of pants? a pair of pants only has one fly.

Score: 20

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scottish people? The Rolling Stones sing "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" and the Scots say "Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Score: 14

What's the difference between an American tourist in Mexico and a spanking? A spanking rattles the buns, and an American tourist in Mexico battles the runs

Score: 10

what's the difference between your first motorcycle and you first girlfriend? Nothing, it doesn't matter what either of them look like, you're just happy to have something to ride.

Score: 10

What's the difference between Rihanna and Britney Spears? ... Britney asked to be hit one more time..

Score: 43

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.



Too soon?

Score: 21

What's the difference between a German Shepherd and a bad comedian? Nothing, they always come back with the same schtick.

Score: 10

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? [personal favorites] Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's thirteen.

Score: 15

What's the difference between your mother and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Score: 22

What's the difference between Karate and Judo? Karate is a martial art, and Judo is what they make bagels from.

Score: 10

What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman? The hockey team showers after three periods.

Score: 21

What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of.

Score: 20

Popular Topics