They found a cat on mars... A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."
Several of Hitlers Generals disappeared after the war, and became animal doctors. Because they were Veteran Aryans.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers.
Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.
I phoned the animal shelter today
and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said ", are they moving?"
I replied "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase."
Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks? They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.
Girls say I'm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.
I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones. If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.
[Blonde Joke] Two blondes are walking in the forest and they come across some tracks. They start arguing about what animal they belong to. In the middle of their heated argument they got run over by a train.
In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken. Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
I was going to post a really long joke about a mythical fire breathing animal But it'd drag on.
A guy found his dog lying in a puddle of blood behind his house
He rang the number for the emergency animal rescue.
'Is it moving?' they asked.
'Yes', he replied. 'It's quite emotional.'
The first animal to be mechanically milked must have been pumped I know its an old joke, and I'm milking it dry. I just think its dairy funny.
Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet.
Zoology Tip You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
Do you know how to distinguish an alligator from a crocodile? By paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters.
I had to throw out my animal crackers.
The package said "do not consume if seal is broken"
Credit to my dad :)
If an animal was little, blue and had leaves coming out of it you'd think it's odd But if it was a Pokemon, you'd think it's just Oddish.
There are two types of people I despise in this world...
1) Those who put animal names into words.
I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works.
What is the animal that steals license plates?
- A turtle.
I got fired from my job as an animal rights activist All I said was that sometimes it feels like you’re beating a dead horse when you try to get people to donate
Teacher: Name a native animal
Teacher: Excellent! Can you name another?
Student: Its mom
A Canadian research team has made history by freezing mice to temperatures of absolute zero.
Animal rights groups are outraged by the cruel tests performed on the animals.
But they’ll be 0K.
There are 2 things I hate in this world: (1) People who put animal names in words... ...and (2) Hypocrites
Why doesn’t the fastest land animal get to participate in any sports? Because he’s a cheetah.
I honestly don’t understand why the church is so against Harry Potter Nothing guarantees you pre martial virginity more than talking about what animal you patronus would be and what your wand would be made of.
A man walks into a zoo and finds out the only animal in it is a dog. The man yells out: "What a shihtzu!"
Recently, monkeys escaped from an animal testing lab and broke into the adjacent chemistry lab. Some ingested potassium metal and exploded. There were Rhesus pieces everywhere.
Orphanages are kind of like animal shelters for children Though, I wish my parents would stop introducing me as their "rescue."
Elephants are the ultimate animal for use in espionage Get them into a room and nobody will even acknowledge them
A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"
This was in a children’s animal joke book in my school library
“Why did the bird fall out of the tree?”
“Because it’s dead”
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is a big heavy animal the other is a little lighter.