The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
Why does the military only allow dress shirts at its ceremonies? Because civilian casual tees are unacceptable.
Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian.
I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban... I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??
The American military should really be worried... Russian technology is a decade ahead of them at the moment.
Camouflage training at the military
Captain: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY JOHNSON!!
Johnson: Thank you sir!
Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*
Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid? To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.
If you ask my son why he joined the Army he will proudly tell you he joined to military to kill people. He's a terrible doctor.
So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today. That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
Why do all Swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School? I don't know, I just fly the drone.
The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff. Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.
I saw a veteran begging in the street which made me very upset But then I remembered I wasn't required to give the military quarters.
After years in the Military After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.
TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.
What's the difference between a Pakistani school and military base? Don't ask me man, I just fly the drone.
Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks? So that they can see the battle.
Why is being in the military like a blow job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
How can you distinguish between a hospital and a military base? Frankly I'm not sure - I'm just a drone pilot.
How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base? I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.
Did you know there is a Hungry Hippo that was a US Military Veteran? Yeah! He fought in VietNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
I'm a former Army guy and I need some jokes about other branches of the military. So far all I have is:
In the Navy, how do you seperate the men from the boys?
-With a crowbar.
What's the worst thing in a woman?
The military is now weaponizing fish
They're sending them to battle in fish tanks
Obviously they have to be small enough for the fish to fit in though, so they're built to scale
Why do Denmark, Norway, and Sweden put bar codes on the sides of their military ships? So when they come in to port, they can just Scandinavian.
What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ? The phrase "I surrender" in german
In the Military bootcamp
Soldier: SIR WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN STEPPING ON A MINE?
Sergeant: Easy jump 10 meters in the Air and distribute yourself evenly in a radius of 15 meters
If the U.S. military is called in to keep order, protestors need to switch tactics for distracting them from lasers and road cones to dumping oil everywhere.
The US is considering sending the military to quell protests. At least we'll finally get some domestic spending.
Did they find oil in Waschington, D.C.? There is no other explanation for such a presence of the U.S military
My friend is so successful, he does surgery, is a military general, and he was recently knighted by the Queen of England. We call him Sir Gen
A General and a Private encounter one another after military training. The general tells the private, “Hey, you! I didn’t see you at camouflage practice today!” The private replied with “Gee, thanks!”
Did you know that the military scientists in Area 15 found a way to make people read numbers backward?
What’s the similarity between a medieval military engineer and a pornography director? They always want the biggest breastworks.
Why do the Swedish military have barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they all return to port, they can Scandinavian.
The U2 spy plane took many pictures during its military career. But it still hasn’t found what it’s looking for.
The military was trying to ban transpeople from joining.. ..which I find wasteful considering a portion of them are x-men.
If all of the Democratic candidates this primary had military experience... ...then, in theory, we could have seen a race between G.I. Joe and Colonel Sanders.
How does the French Military advertise its surplus WW2 rifles? “Brand new, only been thrown onto the ground once.”
If rock bands were our military Foo Fighters would be protecting us from foo’s on the ground while the Stone Temple Pilots are protecting the skies
What did the baby say to his military mom after she gave birth to him? Thank you for your cervix
I keep hearing people make jokes about dropping lizzo on Iran but come on that not very nice... The USAF doesn’t have a plane that could lift her. Don’t put such an unrealistic expectation on our military like that.
What does a series of spaceships named "San" and American Military History have in common? San Juan
Word on the street is that Iran is looking for a new military General Trump's even creating jobs in Iran!
How does the French military advertise its surplus WWII rifles? “Brand new, only been thrown onto the ground once.”
What’s the difference between Logan Paul and the US military The Americans were actually concerned if they found people in the forest.
I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!
An undercover Iranian soldier was captured by the US military and was under interrogation...
US soldier : - *smacks the captured soldier* - "who sent you?"
Iranian soldier : - "Madiq"
US soldier : - "Madiq who?"
Iranian soldier : - "Suq madiq!
The military will save money by drafting young adults And letting them pay for wartime wounds with their own healthcare.
Do you know why Trump supporters are not scared about WW3? Cause the military can't draft retards.
My grandkids were wondering how WW3 started and exactly how i served in the military during the war... I simply said "Iran"