Communist Jokes

Contents

Funniest Communist Jokes

I think my cat might be a communist He won't shut up about Mao.

Score: 11915

Hey baby are you a Communist? Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.

Score: 4314
Funny Communist Jokes
Score: 2542

Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them

Score: 2468

What type of joke is the best joke? A Communist joke, because everyone gets it.

Score: 2182

I should've known my boyfriend was a communist. There were plenty of red flags.

Score: 1837

I should have known my friend was a communist. All the red flags were there.

Score: 1509

My Communist girlfriend is a real psycho.... How in the world did I miss all the red flags?

Score: 789

I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known. All the red flags were there.

Score: 637

Did you hear about the communist sniper? He was an incredible marxman

Score: 575

What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR

Score: 321

A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"

Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...

Score: 207

What do you call a communist sniper Marxman

Score: 153

Have you heard about Marx's tomb? They say it's a Communist plot

Score: 120

Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory

Score: 116

Baby are you communist? Because there is an uprising in my lower class

Score: 108

I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist. In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags

Score: 105

What do you call a communist who's good with a rifle? A marxman.

Score: 78

What do you call a communist with a rifle? A Marxman

Score: 75

I just found out I've been dating a communist.... I should have seen the red flags sooner

Score: 61

I just started dating this girl and there have been several red flags... ...but I guess that just comes with the territory when dating a communist.

Score: 59

How do you date a communist? Ignore the red flags

Score: 59

I just got dumped by a communist. She said, "It's not you, it's we."

Score: 53

I should’ve known my girlfriend was a communist... There were so many red flags.

Score: 50

Communist jokes aren’t funny Unless everyone gets them

Score: 49

My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx.

Score: 48

During the Vietnam war, if you reported one communist... You would win one thousand dollars.
If you reported 2 communists, you would win 2 thousands dollars.
If you reported 3 communists, you would go to jail because you knew too many communists.

Score: 48

How would Donald Trump have said "grab em by the p***y" if he was a Communist? SEIZE THE MEANS OF REPRODUCTION

Score: 47

Give a communist a fish? Feed them for a day

Teach a communist to fish

Now government has more fish

Score: 44

Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch... One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

Score: 41

Why are communist jokes funny? Everyone gets them

Score: 34

What do you call a cowardly, depressed communist that recycles? A green yellow red with the blues.

Score: 34

A man walked into a communist school... only to find that they had no classes.

Score: 21

Communist / Socialist jokes aren't funny.... unless everyone gets them.

Score: 9

What is the battle cry of the Feminist wing of the Communist Party? Seize the means of re-production!

Score: 6

What do you say to a communist who is taking too much time at the counter? "Oye, quit Stalin the line."

Score: 5

What were the last words of the communist poet who committed suicide? "Don't shoot comrades!"

Score: 4

Communist related jokes aren’t funny Until everyone gets them, that is

Score: 4

What do you call a communist hip-hop musician? MC Hammer and Sickle.

Score: 3

What would happen if Minecraft went communist It would be ourcraft

Score: 3

Popular Topics

New Communist Jokes

So, You’re going to make fun of me for being a Communist? Soviet

Score: 0

What do you call a communist U-Haul? A We-Haul.

Score: 1

Why does Alfred the Impolite Communist always stay inside when it rains? Because Rude Alf the Red knows rain dear.

Score: 2

How do you call a communist sniper? A marxman

Score: 2

I read the communist manifesto, and I gotta say it wasn’t as good as the greatest literary work of all-time... ...the Percy Jackson series.

Score: 0

A communist joke is useless If everyone doesn’t get it

Score: 0

Communist Party of China: Wuhan virus? \*Lies about the outbreak till a global pandemic occurs\*

Communist Party of China: No, OUR virus.

Score: 0

What did the communist who was tired of walking say to the capitalist? "Give me a piggy back ride!"









I'll see myself out

Score: 0

I was told to stop making communist jokes. But that doesn't work, I need to share them with everyone.

Score: 0

Why is the American Communist Party getting mad at the National Rifle Association? For appropriating the word class warfare.

Score: 0

What format is the audio version of The Communist Manifesto stored in? Red Book.

Score: 1

There was a Nudist Communist club One day, a man asks a younger man," Young lad have you read Marx?" The man replies with," Yeah it must be these wicker chairs."

Score: 2

Where does a Communist Garden Gnome work? At the Russian Troll Farm.

Score: 2

In the 1930s, a Ukrainian farmer was asked "What will the future of this new communist society look like?" The farmer replied "I don't know, but l am dying to find out."

Score: 2

What does a communist teenager want? Fewer classes

Score: 2

What Happens When You Flash A Light at an Epileptic Communist? They "seize" the means of production.

Score: 1

What Does a Buddhist and a Communist Have in Common? They're both willing to starve themselves

Score: 1

Why do you not want someone to get AIDS in a communist country Because then they'll have to share it with everyone

Score: 2

Why can't you tell a communist joke on a Saturday at school? Because there is no class

Score: 2

Who is the most communist cat in the world? Meow Zedong

Score: 2

What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist? Mickey Mao.

Score: 2

A communist homework joke... Stop Putin it off man. You're Lennin it get to you. I know it's stressful but you really need the good Marx. You really are just Stalin the enevitable. Do it Mao!!

Score: 1

What do a communist and a nihilist have in common? It's all the same to them

Score: 1

Popular Topics