Communist Jokes

Contents

Funniest Communist Jokes

I think my cat might be a communist He won't shut up about Mao.

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Hey baby are you a Communist? Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.

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Funny Communist Jokes
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Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them

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What type of joke is the best joke? A Communist joke, because everyone gets it.

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I should've known my boyfriend was a communist. There were plenty of red flags.

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I should have known my friend was a communist. All the red flags were there.

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My Communist girlfriend is a real psycho.... How in the world did I miss all the red flags?

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I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known. All the red flags were there.

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Did you hear about the communist sniper? He was an incredible marxman

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What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR

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A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"

Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...

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What do you call a communist sniper Marxman

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Have you heard about Marx's tomb? They say it's a Communist plot

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Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory

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Baby are you communist? Because there is an uprising in my lower class

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I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist. In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags

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What do you call a communist who's good with a rifle? A marxman.

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What do you call a communist with a rifle? A Marxman

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I just found out I've been dating a communist.... I should have seen the red flags sooner

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I just started dating this girl and there have been several red flags... ...but I guess that just comes with the territory when dating a communist.

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How do you date a communist? Ignore the red flags

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I just got dumped by a communist. She said, "It's not you, it's we."

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I should’ve known my girlfriend was a communist... There were so many red flags.

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Communist jokes aren’t funny Unless everyone gets them

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My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx.

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During the Vietnam war, if you reported one communist... You would win one thousand dollars.
If you reported 2 communists, you would win 2 thousands dollars.
If you reported 3 communists, you would go to jail because you knew too many communists.

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How would Donald Trump have said "grab em by the p***y" if he was a Communist? SEIZE THE MEANS OF REPRODUCTION

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Give a communist a fish? Feed them for a day

Teach a communist to fish

Now government has more fish

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Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch... One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

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I think my cat's a communist... He won't shut up about Mao

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How much food does it take to kill a communist? None.

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What do you call a cowardly, depressed communist that recycles? A green yellow red with the blues.

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Why are communist jokes funny? Everyone gets them

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What do you call a communist dog? Karl Barx

Shout-out to "Matt & Tom" for that 😊

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communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it

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A communist girl thought I was cute. Next thing I know she seized my means of reproduction!

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A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

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I'd like to tell a communist joke but it wouldn't be funny unless everyone gets it.

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Why are communist jokes so funny? Because everybody gets it

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Popular Topics

New Communist Jokes

So, You’re going to make fun of me for being a Communist? Soviet

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A communist joke is useless If everyone doesn’t get it

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Communist Party of China: Wuhan virus? \*Lies about the outbreak till a global pandemic occurs\*

Communist Party of China: No, OUR virus.

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I was told to stop making communist jokes. But that doesn't work, I need to share them with everyone.

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Why is the American Communist Party getting mad at the National Rifle Association? For appropriating the word class warfare.

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Communist related jokes aren’t funny Until everyone gets them, that is

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There was a Nudist Communist club One day, a man asks a younger man," Young lad have you read Marx?" The man replies with," Yeah it must be these wicker chairs."

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What were the last words of the communist poet who committed suicide? "Don't shoot comrades!"

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I tried dating a communist once, but things didn't work out. She had no class

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In the 1930s, a Ukrainian farmer was asked "What will the future of this new communist society look like?" The farmer replied "I don't know, but l am dying to find out."

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all cats are communist they just wont stop talking about mao.

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An anarchist and a communist have an argument The communist wins the argument and the anarchist then says, "Thanks for giving me pro-state cancer."

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They say Marxism appeared from nowhere. Guess it's just a communist manifesto.

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Why can't you lose your place when reading the Communist Manifesto? Because every page is book Marxed!

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What did the communist use to light their home before candles? light bulbs

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A communist mistakenly walked into an economics lecture in a local university When he realised it was a mistake, he said to himself "whoops, wrong class".

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What's a female communist objective? Seizing the means of reproduction.

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I told the winning team to stop being communist. It wasn't fair that they kept Stalin'

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What Happens When You Flash A Light at an Epileptic Communist? They "seize" the means of production.

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Communist snipers are the best. They are marxmen who can shoot from all engels.

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What Does a Buddhist and a Communist Have in Common? They're both willing to starve themselves

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What's the difference between a bulimic and a communist? The communist feels hungry without having to throw up.

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What do Communist Jokes and food have in common? They aren't good unless everybody gets them.

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Why do you not want someone to get AIDS in a communist country Because then they'll have to share it with everyone

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What's a communist pirates favourite holiday destination? The U.S.S. Arrrghhh

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Should've known my friend was a communist.. Because all the red flags were there

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Why did the communist laugh? Because communism is a joke.

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What happens when you nuke a communist? Nothing, he turns into gamma rays and keeps being a nuisance.

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What's a communist's favorite video game? Dont starve.

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What's the difference between Capitalism and Communism? In a capitalist society, man exploits man. In a communist society, it's the other way around.

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I was thinking about going to the grave of Karl Marx But then I heard it was just another communist plot.

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I just broke up with my communist girlfriend. There just were too many red flags.

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What's a communist's favorite singer? John Lenin

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I can't decide whether to be a communist or capitalist... Second world problems

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What's a communist's favorite drink? Lenin-ade

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The president is a closet communist He likes to seize the means of reproduction.

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What kind of joke is the best joke? A Communist joke, because everybody gets it.

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I think my cat's a communist. He always talks about Mao.

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Donald Trump is a communist He likes seizing womens' means of production

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Communist / Socialist jokes aren't funny.... unless everyone gets them.

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What is the light source communist used before candles? Electricity.

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Communist jokes are only funny when Everybody gets it

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Did you hear about the communist who drank? He got hammered and was sickled over the toilet.

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Yesterday we had a communist party... We enjoyed it to the marx.

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Why did the Communist support Donald Trump? He believed in seizing the means of reproduction.

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Hey girl are you a communist? Because I feel a rise in my lower class

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What do you call a communist circlejerk? Seizing the means of reproduction

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Why can't you tell a communist joke on a Saturday at school? Because there is no class

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What is the difference between a fascist and a communist? America hasn't elected a communist yet.

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Why does nobody trust communist revolutionaries? They always raise a few red flags.

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What do you call a South American communist Chi-Lenin

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A communist walks into a bar... And a person asks him:

"Sir, are you all right?"

Insulted, the communist started brandishing a gun. Everyone in the bar ran outside.

"Great! Now I'm the only one left", said the communist.

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Ayy gurl, are you communist? 'cause you're making me Sowet.

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Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia Communist China:
WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN

Soviet reply:
WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS

Communist China:
SEND BELTS

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What do a communist and communism itself have in common? Neither one works.

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What do you call a communist hip-hop musician? MC Hammer and Sickle.

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How do you tell a Communist joke? Repeatedly.

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What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist? Mickey Mao.

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A communist homework joke... Stop Putin it off man. You're Lennin it get to you. I know it's stressful but you really need the good Marx. You really are just Stalin the enevitable. Do it Mao!!

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