A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"
Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...
Give a communist a fish?
Feed them for a day
Teach a communist to fish
Now government has more fish
Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch...
One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."
Why did the communist spell his name without an upper-case letter? Because he hated capitalism
What do you call a cowardly, depressed communist that recycles? A green yellow red with the blues.
I'm training to be a sniper in the Communist Revolutionary Forces... ... I'll be the designated Marxman!
My friend was dating a communist He should have noticed earlier; there were a lot of red flags.
A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament... This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.
Why did the communist kill all of the civilians in the town square, regardless of their social class? Because he was an expert Marxman.
My date was going really well until I noticed a large communist symbol on her wall It was a big red flag
Did you hear about the communist couple that went to a fertility clinic? They wanted to seize the means of reproduction.
Why does Alfred the Impolite Communist always stay inside when it rains? Because Rude Alf the Red knows rain dear.
What did my communist girlfriend say when she grabbed my balls? I’m seizing your means of production.
One flight passenger to another: "The pilot is an idiot, he believes his aircraft was a communist leader." "What makes you think so?" asks the other. "I overheard him yelling 'The plane is Stalin! The plane is Stalin!'"
I read the communist manifesto, and I gotta say it wasn’t as good as the greatest literary work of all-time... ...the Percy Jackson series.
What's the difference between a capitalist and a communist? A communist will call you "comrade" while stealing everything you have, unlike a capitalist who won't bother calling you comrade.
Communist Party of China: Wuhan virus?
\*Lies about the outbreak till a global pandemic occurs\*
Communist Party of China: No, OUR virus.
What did the communist who was tired of walking say to the capitalist?
"Give me a piggy back ride!"
I'll see myself out
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets it. And don’t say this is a repost because it’s our joke.
The F in Communism stands for food
But let's be honest, Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it
Do you know why children couldn't watch movies during the communist times? All of them were "Our" rated.
A Shinto Priest was walking by a member of the Japanese Communist Party holding a copy of the Marx's Manifesto He pointed at the guy and shouted: "What are you, a kami?"
It is fitting that Coronavirus started in communist China because everyone is going to get it.
A rich man visits Karl Marx as he's writing the Communist manifesto.
He asks: "So what's in that book of yours, Mr. Marx?"
Marx replies: "None of your business."
I was told to stop making communist jokes. But that doesn't work, I need to share them with everyone.