Communist Jokes


Funniest Communist Jokes

I think my cat might be a communist He won't shut up about Mao.

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Hey baby are you a Communist? Because i can feel an uprising in my lower class.

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Funny Communist Jokes
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Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them

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What type of joke is the best joke? A Communist joke, because everyone gets it.

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I should've known my boyfriend was a communist. There were plenty of red flags.

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I should have known my friend was a communist. All the red flags were there.

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My Communist girlfriend is a real psycho.... How in the world did I miss all the red flags?

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I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known. All the red flags were there.

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Did you hear about the communist sniper? He was an incredible marxman

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What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR

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A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hello, Mr. President!"

Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom...

Score: 207

What do you call a communist sniper Marxman

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Have you heard about Marx's tomb? They say it's a Communist plot

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Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory

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Baby are you communist? Because there is an uprising in my lower class

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I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist. In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags

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What do you call a communist who's good with a rifle? A marxman.

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What do you call a communist with a rifle? A Marxman

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I just found out I've been dating a communist.... I should have seen the red flags sooner

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I just started dating this girl and there have been several red flags... ...but I guess that just comes with the territory when dating a communist.

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How do you date a communist? Ignore the red flags

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I just got dumped by a communist. She said, "It's not you, it's we."

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I should’ve known my girlfriend was a communist... There were so many red flags.

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Communist jokes aren’t funny Unless everyone gets them

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My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx.

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During the Vietnam war, if you reported one communist... You would win one thousand dollars.
If you reported 2 communists, you would win 2 thousands dollars.
If you reported 3 communists, you would go to jail because you knew too many communists.

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How would Donald Trump have said "grab em by the p***y" if he was a Communist? SEIZE THE MEANS OF REPRODUCTION

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Give a communist a fish? Feed them for a day

Teach a communist to fish

Now government has more fish

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Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch... One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

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What do you call a cowardly, depressed communist that recycles? A green yellow red with the blues.

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A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar... The bar tender looks up

"What is this? A joke?"

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What were the last words of the communist poet who committed suicide? "Don't shoot comrades!"

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Communist related jokes aren’t funny Until everyone gets them, that is

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How does a communist do well in school? He gets good marx.

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How do you tell a Communist joke? Repeatedly.

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What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist? Mickey Mao.

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Why can't you tell a communist joke on a Saturday at school? Because there is no class

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Why do you not want someone to get AIDS in a communist country Because then they'll have to share it with everyone

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There was a Nudist Communist club One day, a man asks a younger man," Young lad have you read Marx?" The man replies with," Yeah it must be these wicker chairs."

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New Communist Jokes

So, You’re going to make fun of me for being a Communist? Soviet

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A communist joke is useless If everyone doesn’t get it

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Communist Party of China: Wuhan virus? \*Lies about the outbreak till a global pandemic occurs\*

Communist Party of China: No, OUR virus.

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I was told to stop making communist jokes. But that doesn't work, I need to share them with everyone.

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Why is the American Communist Party getting mad at the National Rifle Association? For appropriating the word class warfare.

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What Happens When You Flash A Light at an Epileptic Communist? They "seize" the means of production.

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What Does a Buddhist and a Communist Have in Common? They're both willing to starve themselves

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A communist homework joke... Stop Putin it off man. You're Lennin it get to you. I know it's stressful but you really need the good Marx. You really are just Stalin the enevitable. Do it Mao!!

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