Ginger Jokes


Funniest Ginger Jokes

My wife asked me to prepare our 4 year old ginger son for his first day at school. So I punched him & stole his lunch money.

I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.

Funny Ginger Jokes

What do you call an Irish baker? A ginger bread man.

Just came up with this. Sorry for your eyes.

My kids cried when I told them I had put ginger in the curry. They loved that cat.

My girlfriend threw up when I told her I put ginger in our curry. She loved that cat.

I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me.. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?

Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.

What do you call a red-haired baker? The ginger bread man

What happens when you provoke an angry redhead? Ginger snaps.

They had a Ginger Lives Matter protest today There was not a soul.

I watched the Harry Potter films for the first time at the weekend They were okay, but a bit unrealistic: a ginger schoolkid with two friends?

I just watched Harry Potter for the first time and it was a little unrealistic I mean, a ginger with two friends?

What do you call it when a redhead goes nuts? A ginger snap.

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!] She was Schwepped off her feet

What do you call an Irish baker? A ginger bread man

My wife told me to get our ginger son ready for his first day at school So I punched him in the face and stole his lunch money

What was the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter? A ginger actually had 2 friends.

What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja? One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.

My mum was upset when I put ginger in the pasta last night I guess she liked that cat

What do you call children born of ginger people? Ginger-bred

What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at karate? The Carroty Kid.

My wife told me to prepare our ginger son for his first day at school. So I beat him up and took his dinner money off him.

I’ve just watched the Harry Potter films.., It’s a bit unrealistic if you ask me.

I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?!!

I recently bought an alcoholic ginger beer He wasn't pleased

What do you call a redhead who works at a bakery? A ginger bread man!

My wife told me to get our ginger son ready for his first day of school... So I punched him in the face and stole his lunch money.

What do you call an Irish millionaire? A ginger bread man.

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? A brick gets laid.

What do black coffee and Ginger Baker have in common? They're both terrible without cream.

What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead? A Ginger Bread-House

Last night I bought an alcoholic ginger beer, he wasn't happy about it.

Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls... Except ginger goths. They go naked.

What happened to the stressed out redhead? He ginger snapped

My wife put up with my culinary experiments until I put ginger in the curry She loved that cat.

Whats the most unrealistic part of the Harry Potter series? That a ginger has two friends at school

What do you call an unidentified ginger bread man? John Dough

What do you call a red-head that works at a bakery? A ginger bread man.

What do you call it when you make a redhead go insane. A ginger snap

As a ginger person, I find tanning to be easy I just go sit underneath the full moon.

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New Ginger Jokes

Gilligan eats the last package of cookies on the island. Ginger snaps.

(not mine) I hate the Harry Potter franchise, it's too unrealistic. I mean I'm not saying magic is impossible, everyone on my estate fights with sticks, there may even be the odd unicorn about, but who, has ever seen a ginger kid with two mates ?

Two cats, one ginger and one tabby, are having a fight while I watch. Who gets hurt? Me. Oww.

What do you call a sick redhead? A Ginger Ale

I typically don’t tell chuck Norris jokes, but I’ll do one. Chuck Norris is the only ginger that burns the sun.

The kids cried when I told them I'd put ginger in the curry I made last night They really did love that cat!

My wife was sick to the stomach when I told her I put ginger in the curry She really loved that cat

How do you get redheads drunk? Just pour them ginger ale.

What’s the difference between a ginger and a brick? The brick can get laid

Harry potter is so unbelievable. I mean a ginger kid, with two mates.

In order to put a bit of flavour in my vegan curry I put ginger in it .

The neighbours bloody loved that cat but my curry was bang on!

I accidentally dropped a full two liter bottle of ginger ale onto my bare foot. Fortunately it was a soft drink.

What do you call a family of red heads? Ginger bred

Why was the ginger shot? because he rearranged his letters.

What do you call a ginger redneck with clinical depression? Billie Irish

What happens when a red-head acquires the Infinity Gauntlet? A ginger snaps.

Did you hear about the great ginger ale crisis of 1995? No? I guess it must have been schwepped under the rug..

Did you hear about the red-head who shot up the Keebler elves? It’s was all chocolate chip cookies and snickerdoodles until one ginger snap.

I know a redheaded baker. I call him... ...the ginger bread man.

Do you think Disney wanted a ginger for the little mermaid But the casting director was dyslexic?

If you have a secret, and you said "I swear, I'll never tell a soul" ... You can rest easy... And just find you a ginger friend.

A blonde, a ginger and a bald man walk into a live music bar. The doorman refuses entry to the ginger, because the band is playing soul music.

Why are ginger roles played mostly by everyone but gingers? It's because you have to sell your soul to get anywhere in Hollywood.

What do you call a ginger head that gets their revenge? Red Head Redemption

So I saw a group of youths (6 in total) starting a fight with a ginger lad He did some sort of MMA combination and knock ever one of them out, turns out he was the carroty kid.

what is ginger ale on train-tracks? ginger-rail

I took my 3 month old into the baby changing room at supermarket today but there was only a ginger baby there so I kept the one i've got.

I've put massive billboards up on the side of my house one says "Henry the VIII was a Fat protestant Bigamist" and the other says "Elizabeth the 1st was an ugly ginger virgin".

Well the wife said she always wanted to live in a Mock tudor house .

What do you call a disease that only ginger people get? Gingervitis

I HAVE FOUND A MASSIVE LOOPHOLE IN AVENGERS: ENDGAME How are HE and BW able to receive the soulstone when a soul must traded for it?

Since you know.... BW is a ginger and all :)

Goodbye Ginger Bread Man, long live the Ginger Inbred Boy

As a ginger I always get asked if the carpets match the drapes.. You should see their face when I tell them it's hard wood

Why do Elmo and Asian cuisine go so well together? Because he's a sesame ginger

Did you hear about the ginger conventions? Not a soul showed up.

Harry Potter Do you know why Harry Potter is classed as a Fantasy movies?

Because the ginger (Ron) has friends.

What do you call a strand of ginger hair that leads you on? A red hair-ing

What’s the difference between a ginger and a brick? At least a brick gets laid.

Ginger kid Ginger kid: mom, I love you!
Mother: eee... let's just stay friends.

What do you call a Scottish millionaire? A ginger bread man.

Harry Potter is a fiction No ginger kid can have 2 real friend !

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Long Ginger Jokes

We don’t sell to blondes

A blonde walks past a shop as she reads the sign “we don’t sell to blondes” in the window. She goes in to her investigate the situation.

To test the sign she asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”

And the salesman responds “I’m sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”

Shocked the woman leaves and returns later in the day now having changed her hair colour to brunette. Once again she asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”

To which she is met with the same response “I’m sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”

She begins to get irritated and heads out to get a new outfit- returning the next day in different clothes, with ginger hair, and a new haircut. She then proceeds to ask the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”

To which he responds “sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”

Now she is FURIOUS and heads out to plan the perfect deception. She once again changes her hair colour to black, gets a new haircut, changes her outfit, and even gets plastic surgery to look completely different in an attempt to buy from this shop.

She returns having looked nothing like she did the previous days and once again asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”

To which he once again responds “sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”


“Because that’s a microwave” he says.

A blonde, a brunette and a ginger all die and go to heaven

God says “in front of you is 500 steps, for each step I will tell you a joke, if you laugh you will be sent to purgatory, but if you don’t, you will enter heaven”

At step 150 the ginger laughs and is sent to purgatory

At step 350 the brunette laughs and is sent to purgatory

The blonde gets to step 499 when god says “congratulations on making it this far, only one more to go” only to laugh before the joke is told

“Why did you laugh? I hadn’t told the joke” god says

“I only got the first one now!”

There are 3 people on a island, a ginger, a brunette, and a blonde

The nearest land is 50 miles from the shore. They have no source of food so they just decide to swim. The ginger makes it 30 miles, and dies. The brunette is next, they make it 32 miles, then drowns. The blonde goes next, and makes it 25 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

I own a series of vending macines

You know, in parks and stuff, you can get a coke, ginger ale, fanta, etc.

Business was going really well, so well I had to hire a guy to help. Right after I hired him though, sales plummeted.

Trying to figure out why, I went to a few of my macines. The snacks were fine, but the drinks had a weird noise coming from them, like a wailing, crying. It was disconcerting, and I didn't blame people for not buying.

The next month was terrible. I spent thousands having techs look at the machines, switching out the cans, nothing worked. Sales plummeted more, and I didn't have any answers.

At the end of my rope I decided to follow my new guy around as he restocked the machines. I found out every machine he would go to, he JAMMED as many cans and bottles as he could in, filling the machines to the brim. I finally found the problem.

When you squeeze coke, fanta and ginger ale in the machines so tight, of course they start crying-

They become soda pressed.

A Brunette, a blonde, and a ginger

are all running from the cops. They run into an alley behind a restaurant. Behind the restaurant there is only a dumpster and a half full of sack of potatoes. The ginger hides in the dumpster, the brunette hides behind the dumpster, and the blonde hides in the sack of potatoes. The cops round the corner and approach the inside dumpster.
The ginger meows and the cops say, "Oh its only a cat, they aren't in here." The cops then approach behind the dumpster. The brunette growls and the cops say, "It's just a dog, they aren't behind here."
As the cops leave they pass the potato sack without giving it a second thought. Then the blonde goes, "Potatoes, potatoes."

A blonde, brunette and ginger get lost in the woods

They make a shelter but start getting hungry so the brunette decides to go out hunting. She returns with a rabbit and the blonde asks "how'd you get that?", the brunette replies "Oh I just followed some tracks and found it"

The next day the ginger decides to go out hunting, she returns with a deer, and the blonde asks "how'd you get that?", the ginger replies "Oh I just followed some tracks and found it"

The next day the blonde decides to go out hunting, she returns covered in bruises and cuts, the brunette asks "what happened to you?" The blonde replies "I followed some tracks and got hit by a train".

So a blonde wants to buy a new tv

So she gets to the store and picks the tv she likes but then a member of staff stops her and says: "sorry we dont sell to blondes", more confused than offended she walks out the store.

When she got home she thought of a plan that will allow her to buy a tv: to dye her hair black.
So the next morning she comes back to the store, this time with black hair. When she asks for the model she wants another member of stafg tells her: "sorry we dont sell to blondes" the blonde was confused but realized she probably had a bit of hair she missed.

The blonde really wanted that tv so when she comes home she goes and buys a super expensive ginger wig, she makes sure theres no way to tell she is blonde, and the next morning she goes back to the store.

When she gets to the store ahe picks her tv, this time fully confident that she will buy it. When she picks her tv the staff member tells her again "sorry we dont sell to blondes". Utterly shocked she asks him: "how did you know i was blonde each time i was here?"

"Only a blonde would pick a microwave as her favorite tv"

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a ginger stuck on a desert

The three friends have been stuck in the desert for days. They have finished their last drink of water. They come across a genie in a bottle.

The genie says he will grant them one wish each.

The brunette is excited and says "I wish to be home with my family"

Next comes the ginger's wish

The ginger repeats those words. "I wish to be home with my family"

Finally it is the blonde's wish.

She groans and says "I wish my friends could be with me!"

A black guy and a ginger get in a fight

The two are fighting with just words at first, but then push comes to shove and the black guy shoves the ginger into the edge of a table. His back snaps and he immediately falls unconscious.

The ginger is taken to hospital in critical condition, but doesn't survive. The locals wish that they could make a memorial fund for him but they simply don't have the money.

The only thing that they could think of is to name something after him.

"How about a boxing glove brand?" Someone asked, but it was too offensive.

"How about a school wing?" Someone asked, but the ginger wasn't very well educated, the people thought.

"How about a cookie?" Someone asked, and it seemed perfect.

And thus, the ginger-snap cookie was born.

A blonde, a ginger and a brunette are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from any other land...

Thinking they have nothing to lose, they decide to each try swimming back to civilization. The ginger goes first, but she can only swim 5 miles before she has to turn back. The brunette goes next, and she manages 25 miles, but she too becomes too tired and turns back. Finally, the blonde goes. She manages 50 miles, but becomes too tired and swims back to the island.

Surprise! A blonde joke!

A brunette, a ginger, and a blonde are all running from the police. They come across a barn and decide it’s the best place to hide. Once inside, they find a few empty burlap sacks. The police arrive after just a few minutes. Their dogs quickly move the officers towards the burlap sacks where these convicts are hiding.

The dog sniffs the sack where the ginger is hiding and he starts making small squeaks. The officer moves on saying, “it’s just a sack of barn mice.”

The dog sniffs the sack where the brunette is hiding and she starts meowing. The officer moves on saying, “just a sack of kittens.”

The dog sniffs at the bag where the blonde is hiding. The blonde quickly shouts, “Potatoes!”

I ordered Chinese take out from a place around the corner

Just went to pick it up and as I was driving home I heard the bag rustling and moving!!!

I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could even see a little pair of eyes peering out.

I pulled over, leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the ginger beef. I figured it had to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the side of the bag down, and there it was,

...a peking duck

A brunette, a ginger and a blonde were in grammar class.

The teacher told them about the degrees of comparison of adjectives: positive, comparative and superlative. Then, she asked for examples from the students.
The brunette says "deep, shallow, flat".
The teacher responds "That's not I'm asking. It should be the same adjective."
The ginger says "deep, not as deep, not deep at all".
The teacher responds "That's not adjective comparison. That's just comparison using the same adjective."
The blonde says "deep, deeper, oh!".

A brunette, a ginger, and a blonde...

...go on a survivalist show where they are to survive for as long as possible in the desert. Each can bring one item, but they need to justify to the producers how it will assist their survival. The brunette shows up with a canteen, explaining to the producers that a method of carrying water is critical. The ginger shows up with an umbrella, explaining that it's imperative that the sun be kept off the skin. When the blonde shows up, she's carrying a car door. When the producers ask why, she tells them that if it gets too hot, she wants to be able to open the window.

A blonde goes onto a game show.

The game show goes something like this: There are 3 contestants and 100 jokes that the host tells. Once a contestant laughs at one of the jokes, they are out. If one of the contestants gets through all 100 jokes without laugh, they win a million dollars.

So the 3 contestants are a blonde, a brunette, and a ginger. So the game starts and the host tells a joke. The brunette bursts out laughing but the blonde and the ginger hold it in.

The game gets pretty intense, but the ginger gets out after the 65th joke. Now all the blonde has to do is stay in until the 100th joke and she wins a million dollars. The host tells the 99th joke, and suddenly the blonde starts cracking up.

After the game backstage, the host asks her how she got out when she was so close to winning, to which the blonde replies, "I got the first joke."

Ginger the baker

Once upon a time, in a very, very small town, there was a baker who was named Ginger. She was a very modest person, and not only was she humble, but also very soft spoken and kind. She was famous in the town for her baked goods, especially her cakes.

One day she was experimenting and created a new cookie. So far, everyone loved it. Deciding that she wanted to add the cookie to her common sale items, she needed to name it. So she called the town together and had everyone try it.

Once everyone had sampled the delicious cookies and helped themselves to some complimentary cake, Ginger walked up onto the stage and said, "I have asked you all to come here today to help me name this cookie. Any ideas?"

Someone called out, "What's in them?"

She replied, "There is just the usual stuff, flour sugar and the likes and also some ginger, which is what gives it that special flavor!"

"So," the person continued, "there's ginger in it, and your name is Ginger, so we should recognize you on your creation and call them Ginger Cookies!"

Ginger was appalled by this notion and tried to fight against this idea saying, "I don't want my name anywhere in the title of the cookies!"

However, the people were entrenched with this name and after a bit more of Ginger fighting against it, the crowd began to chant, "Ginger Cookies! Ginger Cookies! Ginger Cookies!"

Finally, enough was enough and, Ginger began to scream at the crowd angrily, while flipping tables everywhere!

The next morning, the headlines in the local paper read, "Ginger Snaps!"

A brown haired girl, a ginger, and a blonde haired girl were kidnapped in an island.

All 3 of these girls were to be executed.

When they lined them up to get shot, the brown haired girl had an idea, right before the leading officer was about to give the order she yelled, "Earthquake!" and all the officers scattered and she escaped

After they regrouped, they re-lined up the ginger and the blonde. The ginger, having the same idea as the brown haired girl, yelled "Tornado!" right before they were about to shoot her, and all the gaurds scattered and the ginger escaped.

Now after regrouping again, they lined up the blonde girl, and the blonde girl had the same idea as the other girls, and as they were raising their guns she yelled "Fire!" and then they shot her.

A blonde boy, and brunette boy, and a redhead were talking one day about swimming.

The brunette boy says, "My dad was so rough on me. He used to take me to the local pool and make me swim laps for four hours a day! I nearly drowned a couple times!"

The blonde boy replies, "You learned to swim in a pool!? My dad just rowed me out to the middle of a lake and threw me over the side! Then he rowed to shore and said good luck! I nearly drowned, but I learned to swim, by golly!"

The ginger kid says, "My dad did the same thing to me! Except he threw me off a bridge!"

"And you managed to get to the river bank?" the blonde kid asks.

"Swimming was the easy part! The hard part was getting out of the potato sack!"

Long: An underaged ginger walks into a bar...

The bartender ask for his ID. The ginger stops, making a big show of reaching into his wallet and pulling out an obviously fake card.

"What do you think yah trying to pull?" says the bartender, "This ain't no underage drinking bar. Scram punk!"

So the ginger gets kicked out on the street when he sees a grocery store. He picked up a six-pack of beer and tries to casually purchase it, along with a bag of Cheetos.

The cashier notices and says, "What do you think your doing kid? Where's your ID." As soon as the ginger takes out his wallet the cashier gets the manager.

"How did you know the ID was fake?" says the ginger.

"I just do, now git!" says the manager.

By now the underaged ginger is incredibly thirsty, so he goes into school. There happens to a school dance at the moment, so he heads straight for the refreshments.

The ginger goes to get a Pepsi but the line is really long. Then he tries to get a french soda but the line is even longer. Then he sees a bowl of punch.

There's no punch line.

A blonde, ginger, and brunette escape from prison

and the police are chasing after them. The three women decide to hide and find a secluded alley to hide in. The brunette hides inside of a trash can, the ginger inside of a cardboard box, and the blonde inside of a potato sack. The police find the secluded and kick the things that are laying around, starting with the trash can. The brunette barks mimicking a dog and the police pass. The police then kick the cardboard box and the ginger meows. The police pass by. Then the police get to the potato sack and kick it. The blonde goes, "PO-TA-TO, PO-TA-TO, PO-TA-TO!" The three inmates are then promptly arrested.

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