Hilarious Michael Jackson Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Michael Jackson Jokes

Score: 1022

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

Score: 149

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Score: 145

My gender identity is Michael Jackson My preferred pronouns are he/he

Score: 127

When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Score: 90

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids

Score: 89

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is dead.

Score: 77

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Score: 67

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...

And the other carries groceries.

Score: 65

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead.

Score: 48

Why did Michael Jackson like twenty nine year olds? There's 20 of them

Score: 47

Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player. He was big in the minors.

Score: 44

What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? Harambe got punished for touching little kids.

Score: 44

What do Michael Jackson and an oyster have in common? Both come on little white crackers.

Score: 40

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead.

Score: 35

I sexually identify as Michael Jackson. My pronouns are he/he

Score: 33

Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?

Score: 32

What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Score: 32

I identify as Michael Jackson... My pronouns are he/hee.

Score: 32

Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman

Score: 31

I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet.

Score: 31

I only have one Michael Jackson album it's Bad

Score: 29

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them. Michael Jackson was right... You've been hit by, you've been stuck by, a smooth criminal.

Score: 25

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Score: 23

What does Santa Claus and Michael Jackson have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Score: 23

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

Score: 21

Don't know what touched me more as a child... Michael Jackson's music or Michael Jackson.

Score: 20

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor

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Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral? He touched a lot of people.

Score: 20

What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson? One of them got shot for touching a kid.

Score: 19

We named our guitar school after Michael Jackson First lesson: fingering A minor

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What do Michael Jackson and salt have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Score: 15

So I heard the Michael Jackson Estate is coming out with it's own line of Caviars It's true! It comes on little white crackers.

Score: 8

Have you seen that new film, Every Year I Love You More? Featuring Michael Jackson and Benjamin Button

Score: 8

The fresh abuse allegations aimed at Michael Jackson don’t matter to me; I separate the art from the artist. I’m an art thief.

Score: 6

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years? Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?

Michael Jackson

Score: 6

What’s Michael Jacksons favourite type of pasta? Spaghett-hee hee.

Score: 5

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Leonardo Da Vinci? The *Shamona Lisa*

Score: 5

What do Michael Jackson and Kevin Spacey have in common? They were both born in the late 50s.

Score: 4

Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the cub scouts? He was up to a pack a day...

Score: 3

New Michael Jackson Jokes

What was Michael Jacksons pronouns after he transitioned? He/hee

Score: 1

What is Dwight Schrutes favourite Michael Jackson song? Beet it.

Score: 0

Do you know what parallel dimension Dr. Michael Jackson does for a living? He heals.

Score: 1

What was Michael Jackson’s favourite guitar chord? A minor ;)

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would his pronouns be? Hee/Hee

Score: 0

I am sick of people claiming that white people can't dance Have they never heard of Michael Jackson?

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I don’t understand why people are so tough on Michael Jackson All he wanted was to settle down and have some kids

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If Michael Jackson was a painter what would his nickname be? Shamone Elisa

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What do you call the kids who are invited to Michael Jackson's birthday party? Presents

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What’s Michael Jackson’s favourite language? (Sorry if this is has been done before, I think it’s original since I haven’t seen it before.)

Hee-Hee-brew

Score: 1

What does Michael Jackson do first thing in the morning? He goes pee-hee.

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Did you hear the name of the new Michael Jackson musical? Kiddy Fiddler on the Roof.

Score: 3

I may not have liked Michael Jackson much as a kid, But he sure liked me!

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Leonardo Da Vinci? Shamona Lisa

Score: 1

What did Michael Jackson say when he found out he had Native American DNA? Cherok-hee-hee!!

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Did you hear the news a new company is now marketing with celebrities likenesses? Products include Daryll strawberry jam, O.J’s Oj and Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch.

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Michael Jackson had to quit the Cub Scouts. He was up to a pack a day.

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What’s the difference between Paris Jackson and Wade Robson? Wade Robson actually has some of Michael Jackson’s DNA in him.

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*Janitor puts on rubber gloves* Security Guard 1: "Where you going, Michael Jackson?"

Janitor: "Today's prostates! Prostates check-up!"

Security Guard 2: "He already did mine. Did mine at 7:30 this morning."

Security Guard 1: "No wonder you were in a good mood!"

Score: 1

What’s Michael Jackson‘s favourite painting? Shamona Lisa

Score: 2

Jimmy savile and Michael Jackson bought a whisky distillery before they died. They went on a tasting tour and the tour guide said "I've got one that you'll love! It's a cheeky little 12 year old that goes down easy"

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What song do singles listen to on both Halloween and Valentine's day? "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

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What does George Bush Jr and Michael Jackson have in common? Bush did 9/11 and Jackson did 9 11 year-olds.

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Michael Jackson's mom was recently diagnosed with Brest Cancer. She had a bad mamma gramma

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Michael Jackson was briefly appointed the new Grim Reaper. He was fired because all he did was sell Pop Sickles.

Score: 1

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid. Jackson Jacksoff

Score: 0

Michael Jackson Joke #4543762 Michael Jackson tried killing himself Sunday morning
by jumping off his boat.

The coast guard found him last night, bobbing up and down
on a small buoy.

Score: 3