Michael Jackson Jokes

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Funniest Michael Jackson Jokes

Funny Michael Jackson Jokes
Score: 1022

Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.

Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!

Kids pants would be half off there.

Score: 149

When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Score: 145

My gender identity is Michael Jackson My preferred pronouns are he/he

Score: 127

When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Score: 90

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids

Score: 89

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is dead.

Score: 77

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Score: 67

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with...

And the other carries groceries.

Score: 65

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead.

Score: 48

Why did Michael Jackson like twenty nine year olds? There's 20 of them

Score: 47

Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player. He was big in the minors.

Score: 44

What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? Harambe got punished for touching little kids.

Score: 44

What do Michael Jackson and an oyster have in common? Both come on little white crackers.

Score: 40

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead.

Score: 35

I sexually identify as Michael Jackson. My pronouns are he/he

Score: 33

What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Score: 32

Since we're doing jokes we made up as kids, here's mine: What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson? Do you want to be black, or white?

Score: 32

I identify as Michael Jackson... My pronouns are he/hee.

Score: 32

Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman

Score: 31

I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I'm not sure which race yet.

Score: 31

I only have one Michael Jackson album it's Bad

Score: 29

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them. Michael Jackson was right... You've been hit by, you've been stuck by, a smooth criminal.

Score: 25

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Score: 23

What does Santa Claus and Michael Jackson have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Score: 23

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

Score: 21

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor

Score: 20

Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral? He touched a lot of people.

Score: 20

What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson? One of them got shot for touching a kid.

Score: 19

We named our guitar school after Michael Jackson First lesson: fingering A minor

Score: 19

What do Michael Jackson and salt have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Score: 15

Turns out Michael Jackson actually died from food poisoning My sources tell me he ate 12 year old nuts

Score: 9

Michael Jackson should have become a guitar player. He loved fingering minors.

Score: 8

Have you seen that new film, Every Year I Love You More? Featuring Michael Jackson and Benjamin Button

Score: 8

How Is Michael Jackson Different From A Plastic Grocery Bag? Well, one of them is white, made of plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with.

The other one you put groceries in.

Score: 6

The fresh abuse allegations aimed at Michael Jackson don’t matter to me; I separate the art from the artist. I’m an art thief.

Score: 6

Michael Jackson did a moonwalk. What does Jay-Z do? Jay-walks of course

Score: 6

What is Michael Jacksons favorite time of day? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Score: 6

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Leonardo Da Vinci? The *Shamona Lisa*

Score: 5

What’s Michael Jacksons favourite type of pasta? Spaghett-hee hee.

Score: 5

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New Michael Jackson Jokes

What was Michael Jacksons pronouns after he transitioned? He/hee

Score: 1

Who was the most successful Transgender and Transrace person in history? Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.

Score: 5

Michael Jackson was a feature on Drakes song “Don’t Matter To Me” It’s really cool to see that Drake supports underground artists.

Score: 1

Oldie but goodie.... Did you hear McDonald’s is coming out with a Michael Jackson tribute cheeseburger? It’s 40 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

Score: 1

I don’t understand why people are so tough on Michael Jackson All he wanted was to settle down and have some kids

Score: 0

If Michael Jackson was a painter what would his nickname be? Shamone Elisa

Score: 0

What do you call the kids who are invited to Michael Jackson's birthday party? Presents

Score: 1

Did you hear the name of the new Michael Jackson musical? Kiddy Fiddler on the Roof.

Score: 3

I may not have liked Michael Jackson much as a kid, But he sure liked me!

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Leonardo Da Vinci? Shamona Lisa

Score: 1

Did you hear the news a new company is now marketing with celebrities likenesses? Products include Daryll strawberry jam, O.J’s Oj and Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch.

Score: 1

Michael Jackson had to quit the Cub Scouts. He was up to a pack a day.

Score: 3

Why did Michael Jackson have to quit the Cub Scouts? He was up to a pack a day.

Score: 2

What’s the difference between Paris Jackson and Wade Robson? Wade Robson actually has some of Michael Jackson’s DNA in him.

Score: 2

*Janitor puts on rubber gloves* Security Guard 1: "Where you going, Michael Jackson?"

Janitor: "Today's prostates! Prostates check-up!"

Security Guard 2: "He already did mine. Did mine at 7:30 this morning."

Security Guard 1: "No wonder you were in a good mood!"

Score: 1

What’s Michael Jackson‘s favourite painting? Shamona Lisa

Score: 2

Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the cub scouts? He was up to a pack a day...

Score: 3

What do Michael Jackson and Kevin Spacey have in common? They were both born in the late 50s.

Score: 4

Which calendar era did Michael Jackson most like to sing about? A)BC
B)AD

Score: 5

What did Michael Jackson Name his Denim Store? Billie Jeans

Score: 4

Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? Because he was bad.

Score: 2

What does Michael Jackson and Burger King have in common? 50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.

Score: 3

How did Michael Jackson tell when it was bed time at never never land ranch? When the big hand touched the little hand.

Score: 2

What did the mother say to Michael Jackson at the beach? Stay out of my son.

Score: 3

Sometimes I like to moonwalk like Michael Jackson Because it takes me back.

Score: 3

If Michael Jackson opened up a Denim Store, what would he name it? Billie Jeans

Score: 3

What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver? They both came in a little behind

Score: 3

What did Michael Jackson call his denim store? Billie Jeans.

Score: 3

What did Michael Jackson's music and his mates not have in common? He liked his mates minor and flat.

Score: 1

Autopsy shows Michael Jackson died from food poisoning.... they found a 12 year old wiener stuck in his throat.

Score: 3

I just heard Michael Jackson died from food poisoning... he choked on a 9-year old weiner.

Score: 2

What's black, white, and red all over? [OC] Michael Jackson after falling down the stairs.

Score: 2

Michael Jackson loved kids... But nothing beats blowing bubbles

Score: 1

Jimmy savile and Michael Jackson bought a whisky distillery before they died. They went on a tasting tour and the tour guide said "I've got one that you'll love! It's a cheeky little 12 year old that goes down easy"

Score: 1

My family went to the beach with Michael Jackson... My wife was laying out, working on her tan.
She turned and looked at Michael and she stated
"Excuse me Michael... You're in my son."

Score: 4

How does Michael Jackson know when it's bedtime? When the little hand touches the big hand.

Score: 2

Did you hear about Michael Jackson's memoir of his childhood? It's called *Fondle Memories*

Score: 4

Michael Jackson once flew United dressed in disguise as a doctor. That's when he came up with the idea for Beat it.

Score: 1

Did you know Michael Jacksons curtains lit on fire? He was shades lighter after that...

Score: 3

What song do singles listen to on both Halloween and Valentine's day? "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

Score: 2

What are the similarities between an Xbox and Michael Jackson. They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

Score: 4

What's Michael Jackson's favorite scale? A minor

Score: 2

What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about? Michael Jackson

Score: 4

What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? One was shot for playing with little children.

Score: 1

What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand is on the little hand.

Score: 1

Michael Jackson's last words "Take me to the children's hospital."

Score: 3

What does George Bush Jr and Michael Jackson have in common? Bush did 9/11 and Jackson did 9 11 year-olds.

Score: 1

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson falling down the stairs.

Score: 2

Michael Jackson Joke #4543762 Michael Jackson tried killing himself Sunday morning
by jumping off his boat.

The coast guard found him last night, bobbing up and down
on a small buoy.

Score: 3

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