What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
Today it was so cold in the morning that.. I saw a democrat with his hand in his own pocket.
I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high. It is only 1 Pence.
My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.
My grandfather always voted democrat... But now that he is dead, he can vote democrat twice.
A Republican, a Democrat, a Communist, a priest, a rabbi, an Imam, an African, a Caucasian, an Asian, a horse, a giraffe, an elephant, a fairy, an elf, and an unicorn walk into a bar...
The bar tender looks up
"What is this? A joke?"
Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election... ....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."
What's a Democrat's favorite genre of EDM? Progressive house.
What's the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? The election year.
If you're from Virginia, you're a Virginian. If you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. If you're from Texas, you're a Texan. And if you're from Massachusetts, you're a Democrat.
I sexually identify as half Democrat and half Republican I'm bipartisan
A Democrat walks into a bar
He asks the bartender, "What's your most popular drink?"
Bartender replies, "a Russian Collusion".
The Democrat responds "I'll have one of those."
The bartender then gives him an empty glass and says "enjoy."
Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican? Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!
What's the difference between a republican and a democrat? How much damage can their Weiner make...
What do you call a college democrat with a gun? Triggered.
Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points. If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.
My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it.. So we had some drinks. Cool guy. He's going to run in the Democrat Primary because at this point, why not.
Q: Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry? A: He couldn't recall.
My Grandfather, a lifelong Republican, has just voted Democrat for the first time. Strange since he died last year
My life long Republican grandfather voted Democrat for the first time this election. He died 2 years ago. We miss you Pappy.
The police got all the democrat protesters in California to leave last night They gave them participation awards
Hillary was running as Democrat and her campaign really blue over.
My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat
How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
I saw Trump's Twitter video wishing the Jews a happy holiday As a Democrat I want to make fun of Trump. As a Jew I want to make fun of myself that Trump's Twitter had to be the one to tell me my people's holiday was today. True story
A Democrat, a Republican, and a centrist are riding a boat when an iceberg appears in front of them.
The Democrat said, "We should turn left!"
The Republican said, "We should turn right!"
The centrist said, "Let's compromise and go straight!"
What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute? The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.
Why should you never play bridge, whist, and similar card games with a Democrat? They get rid of their Trump cards.
OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died.. Then he became a Democrat."
You know what's really great about being a Democrat in Texas on Super Tuesday? No waiting in line. (An hour and a half wait if you were a Republican.)
A Democrat and a socialist are walking down the street ...
A Democrat and a socialist are walking down the street and see a dog licking its nuts.
The Democrat goes, "I wish I could do that"
The socialist goes, "Maybe if you tried petting him first..."