Hilarious Bald Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Bald Jokes

Score: 645

What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.

Score: 494

I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.

Score: 399

If I ever start to go bald I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

Score: 213

A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.

Score: 195

Why did the bald man have his hand down his pants? So he could run his fingers through his hair!

Score: 194

My bald dad commented on my hair earlier. He said I had hair like an emo.

He wasn’t too happy when I said he had hair like a chemo.

Score: 170

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Score: 130

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Score: 95

I like to play chess with old bald men in the park But it’s hard to find 32 of them

Score: 95

I like playing chess with bald men in the park... although its hard to find 32 of them.

Score: 87

I like playing chess with bald people in the park The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them

Score: 87

Bald Joke An old friend went bald years ago, but still carries a comb with him.

He just can't part with it.

Score: 82

I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares

Score: 76

Hear the one about the bald guy getting bumped to business class after passengers made fun of him? Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.

Score: 76

Mommy, why is daddy bald? "Its because he thinks a lot sweetheart"

The kid stared at his mom for a minute and asked

"is that why you have a lot of hair?"

Score: 49

I like to play chess with old bald men at the park. ..Although its hard to find 32 of them

Score: 48

I love playing chess with bald men in the park, but it's hard to find 32 of them.

-Emo Phillips

Score: 45

Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Score: 44

What do you call a barber that only works on bald people? An air stylist.

Score: 43

Even though I've gone bald, I still keep my comb. I just can't part with it.

Score: 40

My bald friend still carries his old comb with him. He just can’t part with it.

Score: 31

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pants pocket?? So he could run a hand through his hair!!!

Score: 28

Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair

Score: 23

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket? He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Score: 21

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: Does this tie make me look bald?

Score: 19

What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy? A hundred dollar bill.

Score: 17

Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Score: 17

My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude

Score: 17

I teased my dad about being bald, so he told me he was going to draw lots of rabbits on his head. From a distance they will look like hares.

Score: 15

I got a bald person hair gel for Christmas. She immediately started crying when she opened it. I guess the chemo makes her emotional.

Score: 7

During dinner, Juan asked his mother.... Mamma, why is dad bald?

Well Juan, your father has a lot to think about and is very intelligent, that's why.

But mamma, why do you have such a long hair?

Shut UP Juan and eat your soup!

Score: 5

I was gonna make a joke about a bald guy's hair... But then I remembered there was nothing to joke about.

Score: 5

I like playing chess with bald people at the park It’s usually pretty hard to find 32 of them though...

Score: 4

As a short, stalky and bald man, I have a swimmers body In my freezer

Score: 4

My friend went bald years ago, but he still carries his old comb with him. He just can’t part with it.

Score: 4

A blonde, a ginger and a bald man walk into a live music bar. The doorman refuses entry to the ginger, because the band is playing soul music.

Score: 4

If you start going bald, get rabbits tattooed all over your head. Until you get up close they look just like hares.

Score: 4

My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald. I'm not bothered though, it's hair loss.

Score: 4

Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can rub their hands through their hair.

Score: 4

New Bald Jokes

Why shouldn’t you say “knock knock” and Knock on bald man’s head? Because bald man’s brain exit head to ask “who is there?”

Bald man die without brain

Score: 0

What is the national bird of the middle earth? The bald smeagol.

Score: 0

A guy was mocking his bald friend that was trying products for hair growth The bald guy had enough and said ”Can you just leave me alone!?”

The friend responded with ”Alright then, I’ll get out of your hair”

Score: 2

What's the difference between a bald englishman and a bald scotsman? The englishman buys himself a hat while the scotsman sells his comb.

Score: 1

I saw this bald dude that looks like a rapper that i know Turns out he's just some Common bald guy

Score: 1

Why did the bald man have no use for keys? Because he lost his locks... 😂

Score: 2

I understand that the dove is the "bird of peace" and the bald eagle is "strength and freedom", but I honestly can't get "true love" The swallow :(

Score: 2

So I keep seeing pictures of bald kids in hostpitals Like honestly it isn’t THAT hard to take a shower

Score: 0

As a bald man, I don't like these jokes about wigs... they go over my head.

Score: 3

If you put Proactive on bald eagles Will their white heads disappear?

Score: 1

My luck is like a bald man... That won a comb.

Score: 2

My friend is so bald... ...you can see what he's thinking.

Score: 2

A bald guy killed all the barbers in my town Boy, that was a hair raising tragedy

Score: 1

Teacher: Why do many bald men have torn pant pockets? Johnny: Sometimes, they too feel like stroking their hair...

Score: 3

A bald man walked into a barber shop As he entered, he thought to himself "What am I doing hair?"

Score: 1

What is truly pointless? To tell a bald guy a hair raising story.

Score: 1

Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years... I just can't part with it.

Score: 3

Why do polar bears like bald white men? Because they have a big white bear place

Score: 1

Why don't bald people use keys? Because they don't have any locks

Score: 3

Why is it illegal to hunt bald eagles? It's ill-eagle.

Score: 2

What do you call a bunch of bald black guys in a pool? Coco-Puffs

Score: 3