Bald Jokes

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Funniest Bald Jokes

Funny Bald Jokes
Score: 645

What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.

Score: 494

I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.

Score: 399

If I ever start to go bald I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

Score: 213

A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.

Score: 195

Why did the bald man have his hand down his pants? So he could run his fingers through his hair!

Score: 194

My bald dad commented on my hair earlier. He said I had hair like an emo.

He wasn’t too happy when I said he had hair like a chemo.

Score: 170

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket? Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Score: 130

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Score: 95

I like to play chess with old bald men in the park But it’s hard to find 32 of them

Score: 95

I like playing chess with bald men in the park... although its hard to find 32 of them.

Score: 87

I like playing chess with bald people in the park The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them

Score: 87

Bald Joke An old friend went bald years ago, but still carries a comb with him.

He just can't part with it.

Score: 82

I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares

Score: 76

Hear the one about the bald guy getting bumped to business class after passengers made fun of him? Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.

Score: 76

Mommy, why is daddy bald? "Its because he thinks a lot sweetheart"

The kid stared at his mom for a minute and asked

"is that why you have a lot of hair?"

Score: 49

I like to play chess with old bald men at the park. ..Although its hard to find 32 of them

Score: 48

I love playing chess with bald men in the park, but it's hard to find 32 of them.

-Emo Phillips

Score: 45

Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Score: 44

What do you call a barber that only works on bald people? An air stylist.

Score: 43

Even though I've gone bald, I still keep my comb. I just can't part with it.

Score: 40

My bald friend still carries his old comb with him. He just can’t part with it.

Score: 31

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pants pocket?? So he could run a hand through his hair!!!

Score: 28

Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair

Score: 23

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket? He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Score: 21

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: Does this tie make me look bald?

Score: 19

Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Score: 17

My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude

Score: 17

What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy? A hundred dollar bill.

Score: 17

I teased my dad about being bald, so he told me he was going to draw lots of rabbits on his head. From a distance they will look like hares.

Score: 15

During dinner, Juan asked his mother.... Mamma, why is dad bald?

Well Juan, your father has a lot to think about and is very intelligent, that's why.

But mamma, why do you have such a long hair?

Shut UP Juan and eat your soup!

Score: 5

I was gonna make a joke about a bald guy's hair... But then I remembered there was nothing to joke about.

Score: 5

How do Bald people get their hair back? They have toupee.

Score: 4

As a short, stalky and bald man, I have a swimmers body In my freezer

Score: 4

My friend went bald years ago, but he still carries his old comb with him. He just can’t part with it.

Score: 4

A blonde, a ginger and a bald man walk into a live music bar. The doorman refuses entry to the ginger, because the band is playing soul music.

Score: 4

As a bald man, I don't like these jokes about wigs... they go over my head.

Score: 3

What do you call a bunch of bald black guys in a pool? Coco-Puffs

Score: 3

I understand that the dove is the "bird of peace" and the bald eagle is "strength and freedom", but I honestly can't get "true love" The swallow :(

Score: 2

Why did the bald man have no use for keys? Because he lost his locks... 😂

Score: 2

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New Bald Jokes

What is the national bird of the middle earth? The bald smeagol.

Score: 0

What's the difference between a bald englishman and a bald scotsman? The englishman buys himself a hat while the scotsman sells his comb.

Score: 1

So I keep seeing pictures of bald kids in hostpitals Like honestly it isn’t THAT hard to take a shower

Score: 0

If you put Proactive on bald eagles Will their white heads disappear?

Score: 1

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