Dentist Jokes


Funniest Dentist Jokes

When my dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I and my wife have different dentists…

Score: 13577
Funny Dentist Jokes
Score: 7506

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

Score: 2502

My dentist reminded me about my wife’s sensitive gag reflex… We laughed about it for a while.

Then I remembered me and my wife have different dentists…

Score: 1913

My dentist asked me the last time I flossed I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."

Score: 1715

My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth. I said it must be because he has the better dentist.

Score: 915

I just had my first prostate examination Worst dentist ever.

Score: 569

Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste? The last dentist is busy killing a lion

Score: 462

Dentist: This will hurt. Patient: OK.

Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife since last year.

Score: 451

Wife's Dentist My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed.
Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

Score: 437

A guy is talking to a girl A guy is talking to a girl :

"Everytime I see your smile, I want to take you to my place"

"Oh ! You think I'm pretty ?"

"No, I'm a dentist."

Score: 367

I went to the dentist today Dentist: Open up please

Me: Sometimes I get sad.

Score: 318

Trump would be an amazing dentist He is against anything that's not white and straight.

Score: 281

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed.
Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists

Score: 164

Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Ok. Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.

Score: 161

My dentist tells me to floss my teeth daily. I wish he'd leave me alone.

Score: 126

Man visits a dentist with broken teeth Dentist.:- how did you manage to break these three teeth. .?

Man:- my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.

Dentist.:- you could have refused to eat it

Man:- that's exactly how this happened...

Score: 118

My doctor checked my prostate last week It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

Score: 116

I asked my dentist if I can have some of his laughing gas. He said: "sure, knock yourself out."

Score: 108

LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium. It will be hilarious when you scream.

Score: 105

I went to the dentist. I sat down in the chair and he said, "Open up for me..."

"OK," I said, "my parents don't love me very much."

Score: 97

What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque.

Score: 93

I want my dentist to know he's appreciated.. So every year I give him a little plaque.

Score: 92

Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.

Score: 87

A woman goes to the dentist.... and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."

Score: 82

It's in the Smile A boy met a girl....

Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.

Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

Score: 79

Doctor of death! Impressively, only 2% of the people I operated on died last year. But for some reason the authorities think that’s too high for a dentist.

Score: 79

My dentist told me to open up.... so I started telling him how depressed I was.

Score: 78

A man, crying in pain, complains to the dentist “It feels like my left jaw is possessed by the devil!” “Oh! Then eat right and exorcise”

Score: 69

The Dentist says, "When was the last time you flossed?" The Patient replies, "You should know, you were there!"

Heard this at the dentist this morning

Score: 61

A man walks into a dentist's office and says "Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm a moth!" The dentist says, "I think you want the psychiatrist down the hall."

And the man replies, "Yeah, but your light was on."

Score: 54

The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay... ..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."

I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."

"They are."

Score: 46

Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful" Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"




Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."

Score: 35

Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place. Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.

Guy : Awwww..Are you single ?

Girl :No, I'm a Dentist..

Score: 35

What does the Dentist of the Year receive? A little plaque.

Score: 24

I was at the dentist this morning and while he was examining my mouth, I bit his finger. I think I left a good impression.

Score: 23

What's a dentist's favorite time of the day? Five o'clock, because he hates his job and lives for the weekend.

Score: 21

What's the most popular time to schedule a dentist appointment? Tooth hurty.

Score: 18

A man meets a girl in a bar The man says to the girl "every time you smile it makes me want to take you home"

The girl replies "Your words are beautiful, are you a poet?"

The man replies "No I am a dentist"

Score: 14

why did the Hindu deny the dentist use of Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Score: 12

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New Dentist Jokes

Dentist tell his patient this will hurt a little... I’m having an affair with your wife

Score: 2

Why did the monk refuse Codine at the dentist? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Score: 2

Apparently Kim Jong Un is fed up of been a dictator and wants to move to South Korea to become a Dentist He said he wants a change of Korea..

Score: 6

What's the best time to schedule your dentist appointment? Tooth hurty

Score: 2

What did the Dentist tell the patient to go take at the X-Ray Department? Tooth Pics....

Score: 3

The Royal Wedding is like my upcoming dentist appointment. I'll be happier when it's over.

Score: 3

Whats the best time to go to a dentist Tooth hurty.

.... I'll let myself out

Score: 2

I went to the dentist with a dollar the other day. I got buck teeth.

Score: 2

I showed up to my dentist high I don't know what bothered him more, me being high and making noise in the waiting room or the part where I wasn't scheduled to come in that day.

Score: 6

What did the dentist say when he pulled the wrong tooth? Sorry, that was accidental.

Score: 2

The dentist told me I'd have to get braces, or take the alternative route and have surgery. The price was jaw-dropping.

Score: 2

Dentist! Dentist! I need your help! “I think I’m turning into a moth!” Said the patient.

“Why did you come to me, I’m just a dentist.” Replied the dentist.

“Your light was on.”

Score: 3

What is a dentist's favorite Dinosaur? A Flossorapter

Score: 7

Why did the beached whale go to the dentist? He had shore teeth

Score: 2

A dental doctor with patient A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"

Score: 2

What is the difference between a Dentist and Brain Surgeon? A slip of the knife.

Score: 10

What did the dentist say to the tooth that wasn't getting numb? You've got some nerve, punk!

Score: 2

What do you call it when a dentist messes up your teeth? An accidental.

Score: 1

An old lady went to visit her dentist When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.

The dentist said, "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."

"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."

Score: 2

When's the best time to schedule a dentist appointment? At 2:30

Score: 2

They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth... Unless you're a horse dentist, then please, look in my gift horse's mouth.

Score: 3

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now."

That's one hole that never really healed.

Score: 10

The local dentist told me that his business hasn't been doing very well lately. I told him not to worry though – all he needs is patients.

Score: 1

Dentist: open up please Me: sometimes I get sad and I don't know why

Score: 5

Why did the dentist and the orthodontist get into a fight? They couldn't brush away their differences.

Score: 4

What time is your dentist appointment? Tooth hurty

Score: 3

What do you call a hail damage repair expert? A dentist.

Score: 1

Dentist: Open up please. Me: Sometimes I get sad...

Credit: nicetrydad (Instagram)

Score: 2

I went to my dentist today and he asked when was thr last time I flossed I was confused because I remember he was there.

Score: 5

A patient says to a dentist : " you pulled out a tooth in like 3 seconds and you get the money, not fair! What an easy career" The dentist replies: " sounds right. Let's make it 3 hours long."

Score: 7

Got rejected by my dentist during a check up. My fillings were hurt.

Score: 3

What time do Asians go to the dentist? 2:30

Score: 4

After carefully examining me for 10 minutes, the dentist said I need a crown... I was like, "I know, right?"

Score: 3

The new dentist had a "half price, no pain" special, so I went in... It hurt so much that I had to pay full price.

Score: 2

A dentist asks me the last time I flossed I said "Bro you were there!!!"

Score: 2

If a lumberjack becomes a dentist... Then would his job be accidental?

Score: 2

A dentist warns his patient... Dentist: Be advised: this will hurt a lot!
Patient: Nahh don't worry. I can deal with pain very well.
Dentist: I have an affair with your wife since 2009...

Score: 8

When is the best time of day to visit the dentist? 2:30

Score: 1

Why does antifa hate the dentist? ...because they make teeth straight and white

Score: 1

What time does a Chinese dentist open? Toof hurty

Score: 2

Written on a dentist's tombstone ... "Filling his last cavity."

Score: 2

So my parents keep telling me to go to the dentist I'd go, But I keep brushing it off

Score: 3

"I just burned a hundred dollar bill" "Wow, rich guy eh?"

"No, it was a bill from my dentist."

Score: 2

Dentist’s tombstone: "Here lies Frank Serra, filling his last cavity".

Score: 3

Why did the dentist think he could work for the TSA He had a lot of experience with cavity searches.

Score: 2

Last time I asked for a cavity search.... My dentist got really angry and threw me out of his office

Score: 3

A dentist and a manicurist stepped into the ring They fought tooth and nail

Score: 3

I went to my dentist today and realized he works for the TSA.... He gave me a full cavity search.

Score: 1

What's the difference between a psychologist and a dentist? One treats mental disorders... and the other treats dental mis-orders.

Score: 1

I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign. So now I never floss.

Score: 2

(from my 9 year old) What time is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty (2:30)

Score: 1

A woman goes to the dentist And is told she needs to have a tooth pulled.

She says, "oh no, I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled "

The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind, I need to adjust the chair"

Score: 2

Did you hear the one about the philosophical dentist? He wanted to transcend dentalism.

Score: 2

My dentist is a buddhist... He uses Transcendental Meditation to help us Transcend Dental Medication.

EDIT: Reworded

Score: 2

An old woman goes to the dentist... ...takes off all her clothes and spreads her legs.
The dentist says "I think you have the wrong room..."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week", she replies. "Now you have to remove them."

Score: 8

What is simultaneously the best and worst thing one can hear at the dentist? These are the best looking teeth I've ever come across

Score: 3

What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common? They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.

Score: 1

"Have you been for a check-up recently?" asked my dentist. "No. No I haven't," I answered.

"I can tell," he replied.

"Are my teeth bad?" I chuckled.

He said, "No, but I saw the wad of cash in your wallet."

Score: 11

Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard? They both enjoy a good cavity search!

Score: 3

My dentist bumped into my orthodontist. I'm sure it was acci*dental*.

Score: 3

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